A.J. Being A.J. (Whatever That Means)

(Photo courtesy of The AP)

2 straight scoreless outings for A.J. Burnett?  Is that even possible?  Somebody check the calendar, did it secretly become 2012 while I was asleep last night and we're now only seconds away from the end of the world?  That's the only explanation I can come up with.

Well that and the fact that A.J. has remembered how to throw his curveball for a strike.  That always helps.  And he also said "It’s the most I’ve felt like A.J. in a long, long time" after the game last night, so the case of mistaken identity he had been suffering from must have had something to do with his struggles.

Question, who the fuck did he feel like prior to these last couple starts when he was getting shellacked?  Kenny Rogers?  Kei Igawa?  Joba?  These are the follow-up questions that the beat writers need to be asking.  I'm talking to you, Chad Jennings!!

Tonight's A New Night

I'm just going to pretend that last night's game never happened.  It's all about tonight's game and focusing on winning this one.

And Cleveland has a pitcher who has actually pitched in the Majors on the mound tonight in Fausto Carmona, so the Yankees at least have a snowball's chance.

Yes sir, things are looking up!

It's All Pitching All The Time

At least that's what all the news is today in Yankeeland.  In case you've missed any of it, here's the latest rundown:

- Javy Vazquez had another solid outing last night and got just enough run support to get the win he deserved.  A little more run support here and there and the dude could have 12-13 wins right now.  Scary when you consider just how terrible he was in April.

- Joba has officially lost the 8th-inning setup role as Joe chose to let him sit on his ass in the 'pen last night when the 8th inning rolled around.

- That being said, Joe hasn't exactly committed to an official replacement.  D-Rob and Boone Logan combined to form the bridge to Mo last night and it sounds like Joe is going to play the matchup game until either somebody steps up or Joba regains his form in some lower-leverage innings.

- Apparently the Yankees "dangled" The Jesus for Joakim Soria.  I don't know if that means they offered up Montero as trade bait or if he flashed his dick at the entire Kansas City organization, but either way I don't like the sound of it.  Why are they so eager to give up their best hitting prospect in ages for 2-3-month rentals?

- Joe has announced that Dustin Moseley will start in Sergio Mitre's spot on Thursday.  I would have given Mitre another shot but you can't argue with the logic here.  Moseley's 4.2 scoreless innings certainly looked a lot better than Mitre's 4.1 of 7-run ball and actually gave the Yanks a chance to come back and win on Saturday.

- For some reason the Yanks are still showing interest in Ted Lilly as a possible band-aid to the Andy Pettitte situation.  Not exactly a vote of confidence for Moseley, but with Haren gone and Oswalt not looking likely, I guess they have to keep their options open.

- The Yanks and Sawx are in major competition for the services of Toronto lefty Scott Downs.  He's the best reliever available on the trade market ( lefties are just 10-54 against him this year) and with Marte on the DL he would be the ideal replacement as lefty specialist over Boone Logan.

- Ace is back with the team, throwing a bullpen session yesterday and getting some flat ground work in.  He said he thinks he is going to pitch again this year, which would be phenomenal news, but the Yanks have to be careful with his rehab since he re-injured the back earlier this year trying to come back.

- And last but not least, my boy Lenny has figured out what to do with Joba.  Major kudos to him for figuring out what we all couldn't.  Who knows?  Maybe Joe was already thinking that way too and that explains Joba not pitching last night.

Nice Catch, Douche

(Photo courtesy of Getty Images)

Were people really that riled up over the weekend about the Yankees trading for Dan Haren?  Dan Fucking Haren?  The guy is having the worst year of his career, has a spotty history against the AL East, and, as last night showed, clearly can't field his position to save his life.  And the Yankees were considering trading Joba, Ivan Nova, Z-Mac, AND Dellin Betances for this dude??  Give me a fucking break.

I know Mitre sucked over the weekend, but there's no reason to jump off a bridge and panic about the rotation.  The Yankees didn't need Dan Haren, and they don't need Roy Oswalt.  They can patch it together for a few weeks and hold the lead until Andy comes back.  At least he knows how to field a comebacker, it's just the throwing to first that gives him problems.

Get up, you candyass, and stop crying.  You got hit in the arm.  Pussy.

As The Joba Turns

(Photo courtesy of The AP)

A lot of disconcerting info on Joba in Joel Sherman's 3UP post today: 

"The only pitcher who appeared in 40 games this year and has a worse ERA than Joba Chamberlain’s 5.95 is Fernando Nieve, who was recently released by the Mets with his 6.00 ERA. No one who has appeared in 40 games has a worse WHIP than Joba’s 1.61."

I almost threw up my breakfast when I read those numbers and I slept in too late to even eat breakfast this morning.  Joel continues:

"In other words with 60 percent of the season gone now, Chamberlain has arguably been the worst regularly used reliever in the majors. He certainly is in the conversation. Which is ridiculous considering his stuff, which might not be what it was in his electric 2007 debut, but is still certainly better than his performance."

It appears that Joe Girardi is on the brink of removing Joba from the eighth inning and going with David Robertson, instead. But here is something else to keep in mind: Is it possible that the Yanks would send Chamberlain to the minors as a way to a) work through some of the issues with his inconsistency and b) to shake up a guy who just might need to have his world jolted. Chamberlain has always struck me as the kind of player who gets way too comfortable in the majors. Maybe he needs to be reminded that he needs to consistency earn his way up here and that nothing is a given."

And now, once again, it's time for the yearly "what to do with Joba?" discussion that everybody loves so much.  The grumbles about his performance have turned to dull roars over the last month and there are suggestions aplenty.  Unfortunately most of those suggestions are wrong.  Here are the CORRECT answers to the 3 most asked questions surrounding Joba.

1) Should the Yankees trade Joba?

Fuck and no.  Trade him for what?  Cliff Lee?  Already gone.  Dan Haren?  Already gone.  Roy Oswalt?  Almost definitely not interested in being traded to the Yankees so no.  And is it really worth using Joba in a package to bring in Adam Dunn to be the full-time DH?  As I discussed last Friday, the Yankee offense is waking up and they're doing it without the benefit of a "big name" DH.  They're still winning games with a struggling pitching staff right now so why waste Joba and other prospects to add a piece they don't need?

The only way trading Joba makes sense is if the Yankees bring back an improved bullpen option in the deal, such as Joakim Soria.  But the word on the street is Kansas City's asking price was pretty high for Soria, so  the Yankees would be faced with swapping one 8th-inning option for another while having to throw in additional prospects.  That just doesn't make any sense right now given that the Yankees are winning and given the fact that even with Soria in place of Joba, the bullpen would still be riddled with holes.

With what is out on the trade market right now and what the Yankees true needs are, there is no way to trade Joba and get back equal value without giving up more in the process.  Let's not forget that he's still just 24 years old.  Just because he's pitching like Kyle Farnsworth right now doesn't mean he actually is a washed up bag of shit like Farnsworth.

2) Should Joba be sent to the Minors to work things out?

Once again the answer is "No."  Yes, he's just 24, and yes he seems to have all kinds of problems with repeating his delivery, being aggressive, and maintaining a calm, confident demeanor on the mound.  But the time for Joba to be in the Minors has come and gone.  He's a Major Leaguer now and has been for 2 full seasons.  He needs to work out his issues against MAJOR LEAGUE competition because those are the guys that matter if he gets them out or not.

Sure, Joba can get sent down, work on his mechanics, and blow away a bunch of Triple-A hitters for a few weeks.  And I'm sure that will make him feel just dandy about himself.  But then when he comes back to the show, how do you guarantee he can replicate that success and maintain that newfound confidence the first time Vlad Guerrero gets ahold of one in the 8th and parks it off the facade in left field?

The only way for Joba to truly fix his issues is to do it against Major League hitters in Major League games and hold leads for Mo.  That's what he is in the bullpen to do, and if he isn't getting it done, then no amount of time spent beating up on Triple-A players is going to fix that.  I don't give a fuck if he strikes out every batter he faces in the Minors if he's just going to come back up to the Yankees and fall back into his old habits of not following through in his delivery and walking everybody and their mother to load the bases.

If he needs to fix mechanical problems, then get in the fucking 'pen with Eiland and work on them.  If he needs a kick in the ass because he's a lazy slob, then Joe should pull him into his office and chew him out or some of the veterans should get on him about his work ethic.  The time for coddling Joba is over.  The Yankees have fucked him up with the way they've handled him over the last couple seasons and now they need to un-fuck him at the Major League level.  Which brings me to my last point...

3) Should Joba lose his 8th-inning setup role?

Absolutely 100% "Yes" on this one.  We've seen it happen to pretty much every other reliever in the 'pen this year so why should Joba be excluded?  D-Rob was garbage early in the season and you saw him disappear from his 7th-inning role to pitching lower-leverage innings in the 6th and sometimes 5th.  Chan Ho Park went from key 7th-inning, sometimes 8th-inning guy to blowout mop-up duty now.

The sad truth is that Joba is pitching like shit right now and doesn't deserve the role he has.  When he's on the mound right now he doesn't hold the lead and doesn't give his team the best chance to win, and that's what being the setup man is all about.  He's giving up too many walks, too many hits (even if some are lucky), and doesn't provide that warm, fuzzy feeling that he used to coming in ahead of Mo.

Dave Robertson has been pitching much better of late and deserves a shot at being the new setup guy.  Joba and he should switch roles and Robertson should get a crack at being the bridge to Mo.  This move would actually help the Yankees on a multitude of levels.  It would reward Robertson for the good job he's done lately and possibly provide him with more confidence, it would give the team the best chance of holding close leads and winning close games, and it would allow Joba to work on fixing his shit in lower-leverage situations without going to the Minors to do it.

Being demoted in the first place would serve as the ass kicking that many people seem to think Joba needs to get motivated again, so there's one plus.  And even if it isn't in a 1-run, 8th-inning spot, being able to come in and shut down Major League hitters is far more valuable than doing it against Minor League guys.  If Joba can get his mechanics figured out, get back to locating his pitches better, and build a little more confidence as a 6th or 7th-inning guy at the Major League level, that's a much better result for the Yankees than waiting for him to get done in Triple-A and then hope he can replicate that success when he comes back.

So there you go, kids.  All your questions answered quickly and painlessly.  It's sad and pathetic that we still have to have these conversations about Joba after all this time, especially the ones related to motivation.  If you can't get motivated to perform as a professional athlete, then you have something wrong with you, in my opinion.  The Yankees can't fix what they've already done to screw up Joba, but the time for handling him with kid gloves has come and gone.  He needs to be removed from his setup role and kicked down the totem pole a bit, and forced to fix his issues in the Majors.  If he does, great, it gives the Yankees more bullpen depth moving forward.  If he doesn't, oh well, he will either get no meaningful innings in the postseason or lose his innings altogether to other guys who are pitching better and deserve them.

Still No 600

Well maybe I got a little ahead of myself on Friday when I all but guaranteed The Horse would crank number 600 this past weekend.  And obviously he didn't, but there's still reason to celebrate.

 (Photo courtesy of The AP)

All those lucky fans who were at the stadium yesterday got to see A-Rod rack up his 152nd career HBP in the bottom of the 8th.  It's not quite as awesome as joining the 600-HR Club, but there's still something to be said for a centaur that has been able to take that many shots over his career and keep on trucking.

So congrats, A-Rod.  You continue to break down barriers for professional athlete centaurs everywhere.

P.S.- Anybody who is concerned about A-Rod going into a homer drought because of the "pressure" on him to hit 600 can cram it right now.  Dude smashed the ball all weekend.  It's only a matter of time.

That's Strike One

At least as far as Sergio Mitre's chances of holding down the 5th spot in the rotation for Andy goes.

7 runs allowed, 5 earned, in just 4.1 innings?  That ain't gonna cut it, kid.  Especially not against the lowly Royals.

Now I'm not going to start sounding the Ivan Nova alarm just yet.  I'd be willing to give Mitre another strike before re-considering his role.  We'll see over the next week if the Yankees feel the same way.

Friday Afternoon Mini-Linkapalooza

Just enough to kill some time on a Friday afternoon before everybody rushes home to hopefully watch The Horse make some history.

- Ben Kabak at RAB discusses the Yankee DH situation and how it's actually not as bad as everybody thinks.  Sure, the fact that the Yanks' collective DH numbers are above league average says more about how shitty the AL DHs have been this year than about how good the Yanks' DHs have been, but as Ben points out, they've still been winning.  Because of that fact, there really shouldn't be a rush to trade for a full-time DH or prematurely promote The Jesus right now.

- Matt at TYU comments on something Derek Jeter said to Chad Jennings about his approach and examines some of Jeter's numbers this year and how they indicate a need to change his approach.  I personally was a little surprised to see Jeter say something that dumb.  It's really pretty simple; if what you're doing ain't working, then you try something else.  Jeter is a pro, he'll figure it out and his numbers will be solid by year's end, but maybe his failure to change his approach explains his un-Jeter-like numbers thus far.

- Gary Wallace at NoMass has his midseason Top 10 Yankee prospects report up.  If I wasn't at work when I read this I totally would have masturbated to it.  I know not all of these guys are going to pan out, but it's still awesome to see all this high-ceiling talent back in the farm system.  It's a far cry from a few years ago.

- The previously mentioned Chad from LoHud has some interesting tidbits on A-Rod's homer history against the Royals that should whet everyone's appetite for this weekend.

- Justin at Seat Geek takes the 600th homer buildup a step further by trying to pinpoint where A-Rod's 600th HR will land.  God bless Justin for taking the time to calculate all that shit out, because I know I couldn't do it, nor would I want to.

And just in case anybody cares, given my tremendous track record of predictions, you can put me down for bottom of the 3rd on Saturday for when A-Diaz makes it happen.  2 outs, nobody on, solo shot into the leftfield bullpen.  Mark it down, bet on it if you can, and thank me on Monday.

Wait, Did You Feel Something?

What's that rumbling?  Is the Yankee offense starting to wake up?  Could we finally get to see everybody clicking at the same time?  A first look at the box scores might not support that point, but a quick look at the top 6 guys in the lineup over the last 10 games, even just a basic, non-sabermetric look, shows that the signs are there that everybody might be starting to get it together at the same time.  Observe:

- Derek Jeter: only 10 for his last 44 for a .227 BA with 1 2B, 1 HR, 4 RBI, 10 R.  Nothing to write home about, especially for a hitter with a track record like Jeter.  But dig deeper into his last 4 games: 7-19, .368 BA, 1 HR, 7 R.  Jeter has come on these last few games, hitting the ball with more authority and being the table setter you want your leadoff hitter to be.  He's still not taking enough pitches and striking out a little too much (7 in last 10 games), but the contact he is making is much more Jeter-esque than what we've seen for the better part of the year.

- Nick Swisher: 15-44, .341 BA, 5 2B, 3 HR, 8 RBI, 9 R.  Swish has kept on doing what he's done since the beginning of the season before the break and since the break, and has proved just as valuable as the number 2 hitter as he was in the 6-hole.  he continues to hit both for average and for power, racking up RBIs from the 2-spot and keeping the table set for the big boppers behind him.  After last night's game Swish has now scored a run in 8 straight games.

- Mark Teixeira: 17-40, .425 BA, 5 2B, 3 HR, 9 RBI, 11 R.  Teix has been on an absolute tear for the  month of July (1.256 OPS) and if it wasn't for the still below-average season tripleslash (.261/.369/.475), his numbers would almost look in line with what we would expect from him.  The fact that he has more runs scored than ribbies is most likely a byproduct of Jeter's rough patch before the AS break and the fact that A-Rod has been mashing with RISP behind him.  Teix has inched his way into the top 10 in some major categories (3rd in R, 9th in HR, 6th in RBI, 2nd in BB) and is completely locked in right now.

- Alex Rodriguez: 12-41, .293 BA, 4 2B, 2 HR, 11 RBI, 4 R.  People can say whatever they want about his injuries and his reduced power, but the fact is A-Rod is still putting together a very productive season.  The batting average is still down, but he is getting the hits when they count and doing his job as the #4 hitter by cleaning up.  Like Teix, his season tripleslash is down (.275/.347/.500), but all 3 continue to creep up and by season's end we should see him somewhere around .285-.290/.370-.380/.540-.550, which is much closer to his career averages.

- Robinson Cano: 11-38, .289 BA, 2 2B, 2 3B, 2 HR, 8 RBI, 7 R.  He isn't mashing like he was in April, but nobody expected Cano to keep that pace up all season.  Bottom line is he is still doing what he's done all season long and what he was expected to do as the #5 hitter and that's produce.  Of his 11 hits over the last 10 games, 6 have gone for extra bases, which has helped drive in runners and create RISP opportunities for the hitters behind him.  Cano is also earning more respect from opposing pitchers, as shown by his higher count of pitches seen and more intentional walks.  Oh, and he's still top 10 in pretty much every major offensive statistical category in the AL.

- Jorge Posada: 9-34, .265 BA, 3 2B, 2 HR, 7 RBI, 3 R.  These numbers don't look too sexy, but if you look at the numbers closer, they show that Jorge has done most of his damage since the AS break.  He's scored all 3 of his runs since the break and his both homers since the break.  Jorge has an RBI in 6 straight games, most likely due to Cano and his extra-base hits and intentional walks being right in front of him, and if he could get some help from the bottom of the order, maybe he would score a few more runs.  a 2.2/1 k/BB ratio isn't great, but what else do you expect when Jorge swings at pretty much every curveball in the dirt?

So there you go.  Good signs aplenty for all of the top 6 in the lineup.  With Granderson still up and down and Gardner in a mini-slump right now, these guys have carried the load over the last few weeks, which is what everybody expects them to do anyway and what the team has needed since the break with the way the rotation has struggled.

Perhaps the best stat of all has been the BB/K ratio of the 3 power hitters in the middle.  Cano has 7 BB to just 5 Ks, The Horse has 4 to 3, and Teix has 7 to 4.  Not only are these guys making pitchers work harder and driving up their pitch counts, but they're also making them pay for it at the end of the at-bat one way or another.  That's a lethal combination and is what was missing from these guys (mainly A-Rod and Teix) at the beginning of the season.

I'm not saying they've put all the pieces together just yet, but there's no denying that there has been more production from these 6 lately and that Yankees have won over the last week because of their offense.  So far this year they haven't had a time where there's been more than 2 or 3 guys hitting well at the same time, and earlier in the season one of those guys was usually Gardner.  If they can get 3 or 4 or 5 of these 6 mashing together, it could be a long rest of the summer for the competition.

And if they can get all 6 going, then you can pretty much wrap up the AL East and put a bow on it.

One More For The Horse

That's one more gallop towards history tonight for A-Diaz.  The Kansas City Royals don't know how lucky they are.  To get to experience such a monumental event at some point this weekend.

I mean, to be able to one day tell your grandkids that you got to see the first centaur in history to hit 600 career home runs on the day he hit his 600th is something all right. 

Lucky bastards.

The Yankee Family Loses Another

(Ralph Houk: 1919-2010)

Yesterday the Yankees lost another one of their own, as  Ralph Houk passed away at age 90.  He has the interesting distinction of being a member of the Yankees as a player, manager, and GM, and was a part of multiple World Series-winning teams.  I won't even pretend to know as much about Houk as others, so I'll just direct you to this post by Jay at Fack Youk, who does a much better job of telling Houk's story  than I ever could.

Godspeed, Major.

We Don't Need No Stinking Bench Help

 (Photo courtesy of The AP)

Colin Fucking Curtis!  How's a little mid-at-bat, down 0-2, pinch-hit, 3-run homer for your first career HR in Scot Shields' eye taste?  Congrats, kid.  Lord knows the Yanks certainly needed that insurance today with the way everybody pitched.

Let's see Jhonny Peralta or Adam Dunn pull that shit.

Things Could Always Be Worse...

... I mean I could be a fucking Mets fan.  Check this out from David Lennon's Twitter feed:

Yikes!  It's bad enough that the Mets are playing like complete dog shit right now, but they're also getting things stuck up their ass in the process?  No wonder nobody on that team can hit.  It's hard to generate any power on your swing when you're out there playing with a shredded rectum.

So maybe things aren't so bad.  I got the rant out of my system this morning, and now I'm OK.  The Yanks are still the best team in baseball, they're still leading the division by the same amount of games they were before last night, and they're doing it all without any kind of anal trauma and team infighting due to that trauma.  In other words, it's all good.  Woosah, woosah.

Free-Flowing Rant After An Ugly Loss

(Photo courtesy of The AP)

What the hell was that last night?  It was like there were ghosts in those Yankee uniforms.  2 runs in the first and then nothing after that.

What is the deal with the Yankees always being schooled by these no-name, first-time starting pitchers?  Those are the type of guys that the Yankees should feast on, and yet they always go out there and make these slobs look like Cy Fucking Young.  Seriously, Sean O'Sullivan?  Who the fuck is Sean O'Sullivan?  Dude gave up 2 runs in the first inning and then it's like everybody forgets how to hit.  The guy barely threw 50% of his pitches for strikes for Christ's sake!!!

And somebody needs to explain to me what the fuck Derek Jeter is doing up there at the plate, because it sure as shit ain't hitting.  You can practically plan your evening around his at-bats he's so predictable right now.  Every game you can pencil him in for a couple groundouts to short and a flailing strikeout at a pitch way out of the zone.  Fucking terrible.

Hughes was awful last night.  Couldn't locate the fastball, couldn't locate the change, and didn't throw enough curveballs (probably because he didn't feel confident he could locate it).  All of that adds up to not being able to put hitters away and that's exactly what got him in trouble last night.  You can't fall in love with the fastball if you aren't throwing it where it needs to be.

Paging Curtis Granderson.  Curtis Granderson, please report to the baseball diamond.

Are Chad Gaudin and Chan Ho Park trying to see who can get DFA'd first?  Lowest of low-leverage situations and they STILL can't get out of an inning unscathed.  I say drop 'em both like the bad habits they are and call up Romulo Sanchez this weekend too along with Mitre.

So far, so bad for the Yanks after the break.  This has been the exact opposite of last season.  They came into the break on fire and came out looking really inconsistent despite the 2-2 record.  They haven't had a good start yet from the rotation and the bullpen is still a fucking disaster.

P.S.- Joe, if you're going to get run, at least get your money's worth.  That was the softest argument I've ever seen out there last night.

Monday Afternoon Linkapalooza- Replacing Pettitte Edition

- Mike Axisa at RAB breaks down all 3 options the Yankees have to look to in order to replace Pettitte while he's on the shelf.  While he doesn't come right out and say it, it seems like he was leaning towards the Mitre-Nova option.

- Mike's colleague, the incomparable Joe Paw, discusses the possibility of adding a Marlin or 2 to the mix.  I can't say I'd be opposed to having Ricky Nolasco as a replacement for a few months or Leo Nunez in the bullpen, I certainly wouldn't consider giving up top prospects for them.

- Lucas Weick at BBD makes a strong case for Nova getting the spot.  It's true that Mitre has been better out of the 'pen than as a starter; it's true that Nova has been solid in Triple-A this year; and it's true that giving him work this year better prepares him to compete for a spot in next year's rotation.  Not a lot to argue with here.

- Stephen R. at TYU examines the option of trading for Ted Lilly as a quick fix.  This one doesn't look so appealing to me.  Lilly's numbers are nothing to write home about, and with his lack of velocity this year, going back to the AL could spell disaster.

- Mark Feinsand tells us that no matter what the Yankees do short and long-term to replace Pettitte, at least it won't be Joba who gets the spot.  Thank fucking God!

- This quote from Cash to ESPN NY tells the whole story right now: 

"Right now, I'm not inclined to make a move.  I always prefer to fix things from within.''

Amen, Cash!  The bottom line is, it's too early to start getting worked up about what the Yankees have to do, need to do, are going to do about replacing Pettitte in the rotation.  They have 2 viable options in-house in Mitre and Nova and so they should get the first crack at it before everybody starts hitting the panic button and trading for rental players who may or may not be better options.  Mitre has held his own in spot starts and Nova factors pretty big into the future, so let's see what they can do, let's see how Andy's recovery goes, and let's all calm down, take a deep breath and remember that the Yankees are still 25 games over .500 with a 3-game lead on Tampa and a 6.5-game lead on the Wild Card.

Everybody say it with me now.  "Woosah.  Wooooosah."

Did I Jinx The Pitching Staff?

(Photo courtesy of The AP)

Seriously, check out what I wrote in Thursday's second half preview post:

"In the second half of the season, when all the bumps and bruises and soreness really set in for everybody, they might not be so lucky, particularly with their older players (cough, cough, Jorge).  The key will be keeping the starting rotation intact.  So far, that has been the only part of the team not to be bitten by the injury bug."

And so what happens this weekend?  A.J. goes all "wax on, wax off" on the clubhouse doors and cuts his hands up on Saturday, Damaso Marte gets put on the DL with a shoulder strain, and Andy is taken out of yesterday's game with a groin strain, which was later diagnosed as a Grade 1 strain that will have him on the shelf for at least a month.

I just don't understand how I could have possibly jinxed them.  I even wrote "knock on wood" after writing that little blurb and a literally did knock on my desk as I wrote it.  Doesn't that automatically cancel out any bad karma, evil vibes, and the Dark Side of the Force?  Sure, A.J. will probably make his next start, but with the way he pitched on Saturday that might not be a good thing.  Thank God that Sergio Mitre is off the DL and can step in for Andy while he's out (I can't believe I'm saying that).

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go consult my Tarot cards and see if I can switch the target of my new-found dark powers and put a hex on Kevin Youkilis.

Oh Really, Tim?

(Video used courtesy of NYY Stadium Insider)

Yes, that is Tim McCarver comparing the Yankee front office to Nazis during yesterday's game.  And yes, it is proof that he is still so bitter about being fired by the Yankees that he can't NOT go without trying to bash them in one way or another.

First, he took time on Tuesday during the All-Star Game to tell us all the story of the time George Steinbrenner was yelling at people in the clubhouse to turn off the volume of McCarver while he was commentating on the Subway Series.  What a way to honor George's passing, huh?  By bringing up a petty, stupid little story that McCarver has obviously held onto since it first happened.

And then there's yesterday, where McCarver spent pretty much the entire top of the 4th inning ranting and raving about how the Yankees have treated Joe Torre since he was let go.  According to McCarver, the Yankees should have already retired his number, put his plaque up in Monument Park, and renamed the Stadium "Joe Torre Stadium."  Newsflash, Tim.  Torre is still actively managing!!  He is a competitor right now.  I imagine it would be a little difficult for Joe to make travel arrangements for all these ceremonies when he's busy managing his own team.  Let's give it a few years and let Joe retire before we start bashing the organization for what they haven't yet done for him.

Anybody who thinks the Yankees aren't going to honor Joe Torre is a moron.  The guy did more for the organization over the 90s and 2000s than anybody and everybody within the higher-up levels of the Yankee brass knows that.  Surely McCarver knows this also, he just can't get over his firing before the creation of the YES Network.  He's so salty about that and the fact that he's sitting next to Joe Buck every Saturday afternoon instead of Michael Kay that he takes every opportunity he can to bash the organization.  It would almost be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.

Just relax, Tim.  Shut the fuck up and calm the fuck down and let it go.

Or keep running your mouth and risk having Hank and Hal kidnap you one night in your sleep and throw you in the gas chamber.

Man Vs. Door

(Photo courtesy of The AP)

It was already a shitty day for A.J. yesterday through 2 innings.  He was missing his spots, hitting batters, uncorking wild pitches, and giving up home runs to the number 9 hitter in the Rays lineup.  But then an even bigger nemesis reared its ugly head after the 2nd inning.

That's right.  The dreaded clubhouse door.  The evil cousin of the clubhouse wall that Kevin Brown broke his hand on way back when.  Yesterday it was up to its dastardly tricks, applying cuts to A.J.'s hand as he tried to push his way through them.  Yes sir, those doors knew exactly what they were doing, luring A.J. in to the dark side and then making him pay for daring to lay his hands on them.  I'm pretty sure they shot lightning bolts out of themselves to cause the cuts on his hands, a la The Emperor at the end of "Return of the Jedi."  The only sad part is that they didn't cut A.J. sooner, like before he even took the mound yesterday to lay another egg.

So just to recap, A.J. now has trouble locating his fastball, locating his curveball, pitching with runners on base, getting guys out, not hitting batters, being a professional, being a man, and successfully walking through doors without hurting himself.  And to top it all off, he lied to the team about it to try and cover it up.

Oh well, at least they didn't hit him on the way out...

Swish- ...

(Photo courtesy of The AP)

-UH-FUCK-KING-LISH-US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Somewhere up there, The Boss was pumping his fist triumphantly.  Perfect night for a walk-off win.

Interesting Weekend Upcoming

Last year the Yankees stumbled into the All-Star break by getting swept in the preceding series and found themselves 3.5 games back in the standings.  They then came out of the gate in the 2nd half on fire and never looked back.

This year was the exact opposite.  The Yanks came into the break winners of 8 out of 9 (thanks, Joba) and 2 games up in the standings and tonight they open what could be a very big series against the team looking up at them, the Rays.  A 2-1 series either way and there's not much change, but a sweep by the Yankees and they are suddenly 5 games up as we head towards August, and a Tampa sweep has the Yanks a game back in 2nd again.  The team was clicking on all cylinders heading into the break, and there are plenty of questions to ask before they get back into the swing of things tonight.

How are the Yanks going to play after the break?  Can they keep up their momentum?  Will Teix still be as hot as he was at the plate before the layoff?  Is A-Rod's thumb OK?  Will Swish be fucked up from the Home Run Derby?  How much better is Mo's health thanks to the rest?  Can Curtis Granderson get a hit off a left-handed pitcher?  Will Joba be able to get through an inning 1-2-3 for a change?

The answers to many of these questions could have a huge bearing on how the series goes for the Yankees, and could be a predictor for how they'll play coming out of the gate in the 2nd half.  With the Red Sox still stumbling and bumbling and a grand opportunity presenting itself against the Rays to kick off the 2nd half, a fast start by the Yankees could put their competition way down and give them some breathing room for later on in the season.

One thing is for sure.  They have the right guy on the mound tonight to start things off.

How Does This Guy Still Have A Job?

(Photo courtesy of the Boston Herald)

Seriously.  6 runs in the first innings??  Come on, dude.  That is nawt what the Sawx fans want to see out they-ah!

A couple more outings like last night, though, and I think Wake may have secured himself a spot as the automatic pitcher for all future Home Run Derby competitions at the All-Star break.  BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Another Reason To Hate The Red Sox

Get fucked, Bill Lee.  Get fucked right in that burned out "Spaceman" head of yours with a rusty garden spade and then choke to death on your own blood.

Just another case of a whiny Red Sox pussy who couldn't just take his beating from the Yankees and The Boss like a man so he has to get his jollies laughing at George's death.  You'll be lucky to get a scroll line on the ESPN ticker when you die, Bill, so take your saltiness and your ugly hat and go suck a dick.

P.S.- R.I.P., Boss.  Feel free to strike this asshat down with your otherworldly powers from beyond.

The Yankees At The Break: Part II

The 5 Biggest Stories To Consider For The Second Half

1) Can The Team Stay Healthy?- The Yanks are 24 games over .500 at the break despite having Jorge Posada, Alex Rodriguez, Nick Swisher, Curtis Granderson, Brett Gardner, Nick Johnson, Alfredo Aceves, Chan Ho Park, Mariano Rivera, Marcus Thames, and Sergio Mitre miss some portion of time due to injury.  There have been more at-bats than you'd like to see for the Frankie Cervellis, Ramiro Penas, and Kevin Russos of the world and somehow they still made it work.  In the second half of the season, when all the bumps and bruises and soreness really set in for everybody, they might not be so lucky, particularly with their older players (cough, cough, Jorge).  The key will be keeping the starting rotation intact.  So far, that has been the only part of the team not to be bitten by the injury bug.

/knocks on wood. 

2) What Moves Will They Make Before The Trade Deadline?- Always one of the top questions to be asked when you're dealing with the Yankees, and one made even more important this year with the current state of the bench and the bullpen.  The Nick Johnson Experiment was a complete disaster, so a left-handed bat for the bench is a must.  And while there are plenty of options in Triple-A to help solidify the 'pen, you know the Yankees will never turn down experienced Major League guys with proven track records.  I wouldn't expect anything drastic at the deadline; probably a repeat of last year's Hinske and Hairston deals: 2 mid-level guys added for minimal Minor League talent to help boost depth.  One for the 'pen and one for the bench and I think we'd all be happy. 

3) How Do They Fix The 'Pen?- Given how thin the group already is in there with Mitre and Ace still on the shelf, the answer to this question may be the most difficult one to figure out.  As much as sending them down could help them get their shit together, Joba and Robertson aren't going anywhere.  Marte is the only lefty, so he stays too.  I think it's safe to say that we aren't going to see much of CHoP or Gaudin in any high-leverage situation, and probably even safer to say that were Mitre and Ace healthy, we wouldn't even be talking about CHoP and Gaudin as current Yankee pitchers.  The trade deadline could bring in some new arms, as could promotion from within (see: Jon Albaladejo, Mark Melancon, Romulo Sanchez, Royce Ring, Ivan Nova).

First and foremost, however, the guys that are still here need to start throwing strikes.  Too many walks has been a constant issue for these guys this season, especially Robertson and Marte.  Too many walks leads to too many runs, and with the number of bombs these clowns are giving up, they can't afford to put people on base.  There obviously isn't going to be a complete overhaul, so guys like Marte, Robertson, and Joba need to get back to the basics of being aggressive, attacking hitters, locating pitches down in the zone, and pitching from ahead in the count to set up their off-speed stuff instead of behind in the count where they have no choice but to throw a fastball down the middle. 

4) Who's Going To Pick It Up At The Plate?- We touched on the offensive down trend for many of the guys in the lineup yesterday, so now the question becomes "who is going to step up?"  Teix has looked much better in the last couple weeks and with a big second half could still drive in 120 runs.  A-Rod's power had started to come back before the All-Star break, but he still needs to get the average up.  And Jeter has been hitting the ball harder the last few weeks, although his trademark patience at the plate is still nowhere near where it should be.

You'd like to think that all 3 of those guys will have better second halves of the season, and if they do then the team should be in good shape, but perhaps the biggest question mark is Curtis Granderson.  He got off to a slow start, got hurt, and has never really gotten in the groove since rejoining the lineup.  Can he break out in the second half and start jacking triples and homers left and right?  Or will he continue to put up 0-3's and 1-4's all the time and get murdered by left-handed pitching.  Swish and Gardy carried the outfield load in the first half; they could use a little help in the second. 

5) What Will The Postseason Rotation Look Like?- Let's be honest, there's no way the Yankees aren't making the postseason this year.  They've had a hit-or-miss year at the plate as a team, they have one of the worst bullpens in baseball, and they're still 56-32 and chewing up their magic number faster than you can read this sentence.  So them making the show in October isn't the question.  What is the question is which 4 guys are going to make up the postseason rotation?

CC and Andy are obviously in, but the other 2 spots aren't as cut and dry.  When he's on, A.J. is one of the best in the game and he had a couple of great starts in the 2009 playoffs.  But he also shit the bed big time in Game 5 of the World Series and he's already been up and down this year, so you just never know what you're going to get.  Javy was the worst pitcher in baseball through April, but since then he's arguably been one of the best (3.23 ERA through June, already 2 great starts in July), which should grant him consideration.  But then you have to remember the horrors of 2004 and how all that could affect him because you know the media will bring it up.  And then there's Phil Hughes, who has been the 3rd-best starter on the team this year, but has never pitched a full season as a starter in the Majors and is working on an innings limit.  Obviously the team doesn't want to risk his future, especially if he shows signs of fatigue towards the end of the year, but if somebody else gets hurt or is pitching like shit, he could get the call.

So there you have it, folks.  In less than a day I've told you all the important stuff that's already happened this year and the important stuff you need to know moving forward.  And I did it all without having to refer to FanGraphs or Baseball-Reference once.  The things I do for you people.

You're welcome.

The Yankees At The Break: Part I

The 5 Biggest Stories From The First Half

1) Andy Pettitte's Resurgence- Seriously, who the hell saw this coming?  I know he was good last year, but with the additions of Hughes and Vazquez to the rotation, it certainly wasn't outside the realm of possibilities to consider Pettitte being the "real" 5th starter on the team.  Instead he has gone out and been the Yankees' best and most consistent pitcher from Opening Night to the All-Star break.  11 wins (good for 3rd in the AL), a 2.70 ERA (good for 4th), a 1.15 WHIP (good for 10th), and a .234 BAA.  Sure, if you dig deeper into the sabermetrics as some blogs have done, they will show that some luck has been involved in Pettitte's big start, but overall it has been his combination of still dangerous stuff and veteran savvy that has made him one of the best pitchers in the AL at age 38. 

2) Phil Hughes' Emergence- I think we all had high hopes for Phil after he won the 5th spot in the rotation, but I don't think anybody expected this kind of performance.  Hughes hit the ground running in April and May, going 6-1 with a 2.70 ERA.  And despite some rough outings in June and recently in July, his overall numbers are still solid across the board (everything comparable to Pettitte's except ERA).  His ability to work with his best pitches and manage a game have been the most surprising signs, especially after he worked almost exclusively with 2 last year out of the 'pen.  Hughes still needs to master his changeup and incorporate it into his arsenal, but for what has amounted to his first "real" season as a full-time starter, you can't be anything but happy with what you've seen from him.

P.S.- He's still just 24. 

3) Robbie Cano's Ascension Into Stardom- After Matsui and Damon left for greener pastures, the pressure was put directly on Cano's shoulders to pick up the slack as the new number 5 hitter.  And he hasn't disappointed.  Robbie was hands down the best player in baseball through April and May, putting up scary good, Triple Crown-caliber numbers.  He cooled down a bit in June and so far even more in July, but is still sitting at .336/.389/.556 with 16 HRs, 58 RBIs, 61 Runs scored, 115 hits, and 23 2Bs.  Throw in the Gold Glove-caliber defense and newfound maturity and consistency to his game and you are talking about the new best second baseman in baseball. 

4) The Bullpen Being A Revolving Door Of Ineffectiveness- Between the strong finishes from guys last year (Aceves, Robertson, Marte), the addition of Chan Ho Park, and the 8th-9th inning combo of Joba and Mo, the bullpen was supposed to be a strength for the Yankees for the first time in years.  Well things haven't exactly worked out that way, have they?  Ace and Sergio Mitre have been hurt, D-Rob and Joba have been shaky at best, and CHoP has been so fucking bad that it's inconceivable that he's still on the 25-man roster.  Mo has been Mo, but he is showing some wear and tear so there will be extra pressure on the rest of these clowns to perform.  It's only a matter of time before we start seeing some new faces coming out of those outfield doors in the later innings, because the fantastic starting pitching can't continue to be wasted by the horseshit bullpen. 

5) Offensive Woes- Cano has done his job to pick up the slack left by Matsui and Damon's departure, but if you look around the Yankee lineup he really hasn't had much help.  Free agent signees Curtis Granderson and Nick Johnson have combined to do next to nothing in pinstripes, and Johnson is not surprisingly out for the year.  But more important than that has been the down years across the board to date for Jeter, A-Rod, and Teix.  You can attribute it to age and being banged up for Jeet and The Horse, but Teix has no excuse.  He has been MIA all season up until about 2-3 weeks ago.  Pleasant surprises from Nick Swisher and Brett Gardner have helped ease the sting of these others' underperformance so far.  But it does make you think how many more games the Yanks could have won with the offense firing on all cylinders. 

**Coming Up Tomorrow- The 5 Biggest Potential Stories For The Second Half**

Honoring The Boss

Here is the patch the team will wear to honor George Steinbrenner for the rest of the season.

Official statement from the Yankees, via LoHud:

"The Steinbrenner commemorative patch will be worn above the interlocking NY on the left breast of the Yankees’ home jerseys and above the letters “YORK” on the left breast of the Yankees’ road uniforms. Both locations are over the heart."

There will also be a commemorative patch to honor Bob Sheppard.  As soon as I see a picture of that one, it'll be on here.  Check out more reactions to The Boss' passing from past and present members of the Yankee family and those outside of it here at LoHud.

**UPDATE: 12:13PM** - Here is the Sheppard patch: