Monday, April 16, 2012

A Brief Message To Carl Pavano

(The question was, "What was your favorite part about making $40 million to do next to nothing?" Courtesy of The AP)

Hey Carl,

How's it going, man?  Good?  Great.  That's great.  Glad to hear it.  I heard you were coming back into town tonight and I just wanted to remind you that I haven't forgotten about your time in New York.  I'm sure a lot of other people have moved on, have let bygones be bygones, and are happy for you for picking your career up off the scrap heap and putting it back together, but not me.  I still think you're a dirty liar and a piece of crap for flat out stealing $40 million during your time here.  I certainly hope you've spent that money well and have some nice knick-knacks in your place to remind you of how badly you snowed the Yankees and Yankee fans everywhere.

And when you come back to The Stadium tonight, don't expect a warm welcome.  I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who feels this way and you're going to be booed.  You should be booed.  Part of me wishes that tonight just turns into an endless barrage by the Yankee bats upon you and your pedestrian offerings.  I want every pitch to either be a home run or a comebacker off the very same buttcheek and rib that you injured while you were here.  I know that won't happen, so I'll settle for a repeat of last night's beatdown of the Angels' staff, but know that you're still the enemy, you're always going to be the enemy (at least in my eyes) and I wish you no success in tonight's outing or any of your future outings hereafter.

If that makes me a crummy person, so be it.  I don't pretend to be a great one and I certainly don't pretend like I don't still have bad memories about your time as a Yankee.  If other people have moved on and are happy for you now, more power to them.  I'm not, and I hope the Yankee offense beats you the F down tonight.  Best of luck to you tonight, guy.



** UPDATE 6:33PM- The first 2 at-bats in the bottom of the 1st LITERALLY could not have gone any better than they did. **

P.S.- When are pitchers going to learn that you can't miss inside against C-Grand with his new swing?  He's going to park it in the seats.

Bobby V Making Himself Right At Home In Bahhston

(You should probably be sitting here if you're going to mouth off, dude)

All this "consistently covering the Yankees" stuff has got me slipping on one of my true passions in life, that of course being bagging on the Fraud Sawx and their crumbling mess of an organization.  And DAMN, am I missing some good stuff.  We're barely over a week into the season and shit's already starting to play out like a season of "The Real World."  Let's go to the quote book!

Game 9 Wrap-Up: NYY 11 LAA 5 (With Bonus Thoughts & Afterthoughts)

(Ahoy, Captain.  Courtesy of The AP)

One of the few times I can stomach ESPN is when they have the Yankees on Sunday Night Baseball.  Last night was one of those nights, so everybody gets a bonus batch of my brand of analysis.  You're welcome.

Game Notes:

- Jerome Williams experienced the same fate as Phil Hughes the day before, failing to consistently throw his fastball for strikes and leaving the ball up in the zone, and as a result he wasn't around long.  The Yankees punished him for 5 ER on 5 H and 3 BB in just 2.2 IP.

- Ivan Nova pitched very similar to how he did in his first start last night, flashing a mid-90s fastball that he generally commanded to both sides of the plate and a killer curve that he got plenty of swings and misses on.  He did miss spots here and there and give up some hits, but once again there was never the sense that he was in real danger in his 6 innings of work.

- After the Yankee offense knocked Williams out in the 3rd, the big hit was Jeter's 3-run HR to right in the 4th inning to make it an 8-1 game.  Classic Jeter power swing, and one that's been MIA for the last few seasons.

- In the late innings, with the Angels threatening to climb back into it, the Yankees shut the door with D-Rob and Logan in the 8th-9th innings and a monster 2-R HR from Raul Ibanez for some insurance.  Game, set, match, start spreadin' the news.