Friday, July 9, 2010

Best Headline I've Seen In A While

Praise Jesus!!

No!  Not that one (even though it is great, wonderful, holiday-worthy news that he will be around for at least a little while longer), THAT one.

Good move by the Yankees here.  It was obvious they wanted Lee, especially if they were willing to center the deal around The Almighty.  But when you get wind of your trade partner still poking around for offers from other teams, that's a sure sign that they are looking for you to sweeten the pot a little and that, even more than offering Montero for a starter they don't need right now, is the perfect reason to cut talks and keep your cards in your hand for the time being.

Maybe the Mariners can get a better deal for Lee, and maybe they can't.  I'm personally still a little nervous that the talks could re-start.  But for now, I'm just happy that I still have the option of putting up The Jesus picture while he still belongs to New York.

Another Reason To Not Want Cliff Lee

As if I hadn't already made it abundantly clear that I have no desire to trade for Cliff Lee today, tomorrow, or any other day, here's one more thing to consider.  If he does join the Yankees, he ain't exactly bringing his A-Game to the table, if you know what I'm saying.  Observe:

That might be the single strangest-looking family since "The Hills Have Eyes."  Cliff just looks like the creepy older dude at the college party with that shirt and haircut, his kids are frighteningly white and weird looking (I'm pretty sure his son wants to kill me based on the look in his eyes), and his wife looks like she's still a few weeks away from her high school graduation.  Maybe that shit flies in amateur-hour places like Cleveland (assuming it still exists after last night) and Seattle, but this is fucking New York City, honey.  You're going to be up against the likes of Minka,



and Laura Posada, who has a pretty hot "Desperate Housewives" thing kinda going.

So this cutesy little bullshit ain't gonna fly.  This is the big leagues, Cliff.  So get your kids out of their WalMart sales aisle clothes and get your wife a spot on "Project Makeover" NOW or don't even bother coming.  We can't have the likes of these mutants mucking up the good seats at The Stadium, especially when the revolving door of hot Yankee WAGs and people like Rudy, Jack, and The Jigga Man are going to be in the house.

This Is A Joke, Right?

So I wake up this morning and I've got my uncle texting me saying the Yankees are going to make a deal for Cliff Lee today.  I tell him that there's no way; it's a dumb move.  Then I fire up the computer at work and every website is talking about it, Joel Sherman is writing stories about it, everything is centered around Jesus Montero, and the deal could possibly go down as soon as today.

Is this even the real world right now??  What the fuck is going on?  Are the Yankees really that concerned about having to face him one more time in the regular season that they're going to pull the trigger and give up their best prospect just to avoid him?  He's ONE FUCKING GUY!!!  And he's a fucking free agent AFTER THIS SEASON!!! The Yankees have 2 lights out starters, another one who made the All-Star team, and 2 who have been pitching much better of late.  They don't need any more starters this year.  They need fucking bullpen help.  Unless the plan is to include Joba in the package and Make Lee Mo's new setup man, this is a terrible idea.

Is the entire city of New York just off their collective rockers because the Knicks didn't get LeBron James last night?  Yeah, that must be it.  That's the only logical explanation for this situation.

If this trade happens today, I am going to be fucking bullshit.