Yanks Skip Plans B-E, Go Straight To Plan F By Signing Mark Prior

How's that for a free agent, motherf'ers??  Mark F'ing Prior, baby!!  I just high fived myself 8 times in a row after hearing the news.

Cliff Lee, Schmiff Lee.  Who needs that boring, rosin-hatted d-bag now?  Look at Prior's numbers.  18-6 record, 211.1 innings pitched with 10.4 K/9, 2.43 ERA, 1.10 WHIP, 179 ERA+, 6.2 WAR.  That'll get it done for sure!

I mean, yeah, those numbers are from 2003, but still.  It's reasonable to expect Prior to come close to that this year after having not pitched since 2006, right?