Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Shaking Up The Sh*t List

It's been almost a month since I last updated the Official AB4AR Shit List (in case you don't scroll down the page enough to see it on the sidebar), so it's time to tighten that up, set a ranking system, and issue ranks based on latest goings-on by the list members.

New List:

1) Rafael Soriano- He's a dick, he hasn't pitched well since Opening Day, he's robbing the team blind with that contract, and now he's probably going on the shelf for the rest of the season.

2) Randy Levine- A key cog in bringing Soriano to The Bronx.  Still hasn't learned that he doesn't know a thing about baseball and should leave Cash to his own devices.

3) Joe's Bunting Strategy**- Newest member of the List, Joe's mismanagement of his bullpen is succeeded only by his never-ending desire to continue to play old-school NL baseball with his lineup and sacrifice outs for the chance to score 1 friggin' run.

4) Joe's Match-Up Binder- We haven't seen it much lately, but he's still too married to situations and pre-defined roles instead of watching the game and trusting his guys.

5) Damaso Marte- Is he even still alive?

6) Kei Igawa- Getting paid MILLIONS to pitch in Double-A.  Awesome.

7) Nick Johnson- I think I'm almost over the latest Johnson fiasco.  He always got hurt, I knew he was going to get hurt, and I shouldn't have been so upset that he got hurt.

So there's the latest list.  You'll notice that a certain Mr. A.J. Burnett no longer appears anywhere.  He hasn't done anything eye popping, but in fairness to the guy, he hasn't been horrible, he's giving his team a chance to win on a consistent basis, and a 4.02/4.50/3.95 tripleslash is not worthy of my hatred.  So he's off.  For now...

Soriano To Visit Dr. Andrews, Cash's Feelings About The Signing Vindicated

Just to review, here's how Rafael Soriano's Yankee career has gone to date:

- Signed a 3-year/$35 million deal on January 13, 2011, chock full of opt out clauses.

- Reported to Spring Training in February, acts like a dick, refuses to pitch against AL East teams

- Put up a 5.40/4.96/5.94 ERA/FIP/xFIP tripleslash in 16 outings, with his only 1-2-3 inning being on Opening Day, before being shut down with elbow problems.

- Threw his teammates under the bus when asked about how it felt to not be pitching against division rivals on May 16.

- Was put on the DL, retroactive to May 14, on May 18 because of the continued elbow problems.

- Went for an MRI yesterday, got bad results, and is now scheduled to go visit Dr. James Andrews for the elbow, signifying the likelihood of a significant injury and a significant chunk of time to be missed, at the very least.

Not exactly the type of resume that would inspire YES to start putting together Raffy's "Yankeeography."  You can trace the history back to January and find that I have, admittedly gone back and forth on how I felt about the Soriano signing.  Those feelings have obviously transitioned exclusively to the negative side since the guy actually started pitching in pinstripes, and I'm not going to waste any more time talking about how awful he's been or stating the obvious point that the deal looks terrible now that he's gotten hurt and could be out for the year.  I will just refer back to Cash's comments during Soriano's introductory press conference:

"I didn't recommend it [the deal], just because I didn't think it was an efficient way to allocate the remaining resources we have... 

... It's all the other stuff wrapped around the deal, the money, allocating closer type money to an eighth-inning guy, those type of things." 

And this is why Brian Cashman should be making the baseball decisions and Hank and Randy Levine should just stay up in their offices and make stupid statements to the press.  Cash knew what the risks and downsides of this signing were, Hank and Randy ignored them.  Cash knows what he's doing, these other 2 don't.  Now the Yanks might be on the hook for a big chunk of money next year if Soriano is done for the year.

In Cash we trust.

A Little Pie For Breakfast

(Teck-SHARE-uh gets him some.  Courtesy of Getty Images.)

Why the hell not?!  Like Bruce Willis' chick from "Pulp Fiction" says, "any time of day is a good time for pie."  That theory holds doubly true on a night when the offense finally picked up CC for a change.

P.S.- Can we officially declare C-Grand the starting CF in the All-Star Game yet?