Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Best Yankee-Related Holiday Story Ever? Best Yankee-Related Holiday Story Ever

It appears New York Yankees General Manager Brian Cashman isn't afraid of heights.

The Stamford Downtown Special Services District has announced Cashman will join this year's Heights and Lights event as a celebrity guest elf, accompanying Santa Claus on a 22-floor rappel the Landmark Building.

"Brian Cashman will be there with smiles and his Yankee jacket, rappelling," said Sandy Goldstein, director of the DSSD.

Cashman, who lives in Darien, mentioned at a DSSD fundraiser this summer that he would be interested in participating, Goldstein said.

"He mentioned something about wanting to rappel," she said. "What could be better than having a star rappel?"

The Yankees general manager will warm up for the weekend's rappel at a rehearsal Friday morning....  Santa and Cashman will kick off the holiday season in Stamford Sunday, when they step off the Landmark building's ledge at 4:30 p.m. Music performed by local students and a fireworks display will accompany the rappel.

The DSSD is keeping the details of Cashman's elf costume under wraps for now.

"This is going to be a surprise for all," Goldstein said. "Will he be an elf in Yankee clothing or a Yankee in elf clothing? You've got to come Sunday night to find out."(courtesy of The Stamford Advocate)

HO.  LEE.  CRAP!!!  If this story doesn't get you in the holiday spirit, then you're a bigger bah-humbug, Grinchy asshat than Casey Close.  Brian Cashman.  Dressed up as some sort of Yankee-elf hybrid.  Rappelling down the side of a building as Santa Clause.

These people could charge $5,000 a ticket to this event and I would still go see it.  I love Cash, but let's be honest, he is rather elf-like in his appearance already.  Sure he could stand to smile more and have rosier cheeks, but the stature is there.  The fact that the Stamford DSSD has waited this long to have what should be their favorite native son participate in this event is mind-boggling.

Please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!  If there is anybody out there that actually reads this blog on a daily basis and has the means to get to the Landmark building in Stamford, Connecticut this Sunday at 4:30, for the love of everything that is good and righteous, please attend and take pictures of this.  I need to see Brian Cashman rappelling down the side of a building dressed as an elf.  I HAVE to see Brian Cashman rappelling down the side of a building dressed as an elf.    If I can actually get a picture of this happening, I don't think I would even care if the Yankees didn't end up signing Jeter and Cliff Lee.  I don't have incurable cancer or any terminal disease, but think of this of my dying Christmas wish.  Get me a picture.

P.S.- If you didn't think I was going to have Duckson Photoshop this then you are outside you're mind.


Belated Happy B-Day To The One Even More Almighty Than The Almighty

In my excitement to discuss The Jesus' birthday on Sunday, it slipped my mind that the single greatest person in the history of people doing any one singular job incredibly well also celebrating his birthday soon.  Luckily, fellow blogger and friend of AB4AR, Rasheeda Cooper of Bomber Boulevard, was smart enough to alert me to that and so before The Sandman comes on over to shut my lights out I will pay him the proper respect and wish him a happy birthday as well.

The man is 41, ladies and gentlemen, and still at the top of his game in professional sports, which is unheard of.  He's also reportedly close to re-upping with the Yankees by the end of the winter meetings, most likely for a one or two-year deal worth $17-18 mil a year.  In typical Mo fashion, he's just quietly going about his business and getting shit done.

(Photo used courtesy of River Ave. Blues)

Yes, the Jesus' birthday is a momentous occasion that deserves its proper recognition.  But as the above picture states, without Mo there would be no Jesus.  So even though it's a day late, it's still probably in my best interests to acknowledge and pay my proper respects to the Great One.

The Single Greatest Quote I Have Heard All Year

Stop the voting!  Close the polls!  It's all over!  The winner of the 2010 "Best Line of The Year" goes to the "source" close to the Yankee-Jeter talks who stated that the talks were going to stop until Jeter and Casey Close "Drink the reality potion."

Read that again.  "Drink the reality potion." I consider myself a pretty solid wordsmith, but even I couldn't come up with something as perfectly accurate, appropriate, and hilarious as that simple 4-word statement to describe this situation.  It's brilliant.

Now I don't know what the reality potion is.  My guess would be it has to involve alcohol because everybody knows the truth comes out when you're drunk and truth and reality go hand-in-hand.  So drink up, Derek, and don't be afraid to pass that bottle over to your boy, Double-C.  We've got to get these negotiations a-movin' again and have to get them going in a direction that is much more in touch with reality.

(Swanny Duckson strikes again with the Photoshoppiness)