King Of The Hill, Top Of The Heap

The news? Start fucking spreading it!!!!

The shoes?? Stray away, baby!!!!



Andy was good, the offense awoke, Jeter was Jeterian, Matsui WAS Godzilla, Marte was shut-fucking-down, and Mo was Mo.

It all came together in one beautiful orgy of success tonight, as there was evidence of all the Yankees' strengths shining through at different points.  Congratulations, gentlemen.  Job well done.  Job well fucking done, indeed.  I know I already put it up but here it is again:

HIT THE FUCKING MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Full Game 6 and World Series recap tomorrow and the next day.

John Sterling's Call of Mark Teixeira's 5th-Inning Pop-Up Last Night

Thuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh pitch...

Swung on and a TOWERING pop up to the edge of the infield grass...

THAT BALL IS HIGH!  NNNNNNNNNNIT IS HIGHER!!!  IT...IS...CAUGHT!!!

OH WHAT A PLAY BY JIMMY ROLLINS!!!  He backed up a good 4 to 5 steps off the dirt in the hole at second base and made an UN-BE-LIEV-ABLE two-handed form catch while standing still.  I tell ya, Suzyn, he AB-SO-LUTE-LY robbed Mark Teixeira of what would have been a sure bloop single with that catch.  But that's just baseball, Suzyn. 

YOU'RE OFF THE MARK, TEIXEIRA!!!!

1 run, 1 hit, aaand 1 left.  After 4 1/2 innings its the Phillies 6 and the Yankees 2 on the Yankees... radio network!

Thanks For That, A.J. Game 5 Thoughts and Afterthoughts

* Can someone explain to me why a Canadian bitch who hasn't been relevant in at least 5 years was singing the National Anthem of the United States before the game last night? I mean what the fuck, was the leader singer of Nickelback not available? Don't get me wrong, I think Canada does a great job keeping America's head warm, but unless one of their teams are involved, they shouldn't be anywhere near professional sporting events of this magnitude in America.

* Welcome to the A.J. Burnett Experience. This thrill ride of a coaster is sometimes rated among the best in the world, with high speeds, sharp curves, and enough drops to make even the toughest guy feel queasy and off-balance. Unfortunately, the A.J. Burnett Experience is also prone to breaking down periodically with no signs of being fixed soon, or just shutting down completely, thus never quite allowing itself to get the praise so many are ready to heap on it.

* Seriously though, if you didn't see that kind of outing coming from A.J. last night after the first 2 batters then you need your eyes checked. The Phillies made it perfectly clear they were looking first-pitch fastball, and after hitting Victorino to put 2 runners on, you knew A.J. was going to try to be careful and throw a strike down the heart of the plate. After that jack by Slickback, there weren't enough sandbags to beat back the waters gushing through the dam, but that's the pitcher A.J. Burnett always has been and always will be: maddeningly inconsistent and mentally weak to the point that he can't battle his way out of any serious adversity.

* And don't start with the short rest crap. The rest had nothing to do with it. Burnett's velocity was up just as high as it was in Game 2, but his command was nowhere to be found. He couldn't locate the fastball consistently and fell behind in counts, and he hit his spots with his curve only slightly more than the heater. The bottom line is Utley's homer in the 1st shook Burnett and he never recovered. No amount of rest was going to change that.

* And it's sad too, because Cliff Lee was nowhere near the pitcher the Yankees saw in Game 1 and still appeared to be a bit tired from his complete game ordeal. His velocity and bite were down on his pitches and the Yankees were making a lot of good contact off him early. After the first inning it seemed like we were destined to get the back-and-forth, high-scoring game that people had been waiting for with these 2 offenses.

* I give the guy credit for staying in the game because after taking a shot like that off the hand, I would have spent the next half hour rolling around at homeplate crying, but Joe Buck can cut the shit with the "Shane Victorino is as tough as they come..." rhetoric. Shane Victorino is a baseball player; guys in his sport miss weeks at a time with sprained ankles, strained quads, shoulder stiffness, tightness in the groin, blisters, bruises, etc. Those are the kinds of injuries football players would kill to have; those guys play with concussions, tears, broken bones. THAT is tough.

If Brian Dawkins got hit by that pitch last night, he probably would have jumped up and beat the shit out of the ball before walking to first so don't try to convince me that Shane Victorino is any level of tough when he stood around shaking his hand and grimacing all night even after X-rays showed nothing was broken.

* Is it me or are the Phillies ballgirls fucking hot?? That blondie down the right field line in Game 4 was all kinds of cute, and even though they didn't keep the camera on her long enough to get a definitive face shot, it certainly seemed like the brunette down the left field line last night had some things working for her. Google search "Philadelphia Phillies ballgirls" and you won't come up with a swimsuit calendar, but there are still a few in there who'll make you tingle, and kudos to the Phillies for bringing out the A-Team of that lineup for the postseason.

* I don't want to spend too much time on this again, but the "neighborhood" play at 2nd base when turning 2 is bullshit. If the guy isn't on second then he shouldn't get the out; it's a simple thing to do to place your foot on the base. Utley wasn't even close to touching the base in the top of the 3rd and they still called Damon out. Terrible.

* Great move by Joe to get A.J. out of the game in the 3rd and not let things get any more out of hand. It was still early enough that the Yanks could have come back and you have to give your team a chance. It was clear by that point that A.J. hadn't changed his approach to adjust to the Phillies' aggression at the plate and was just out there slinging it over the plate and hoping for the best, so you have to know when to pull the plug and Joe pulled it right when he should have.

* Unfortunately, the Yankee bats never did come alive in the middle innings despite getting 4 solid shutout innings of relief from Dave Robertson (who knew he was actually a decent pitcher?), and Alfredo Aceves.  The Yankee strategy at the plate continues to puzzle me; they are watching way too many good pitches go by (see: Jorge Posada's at-bat in the top of the 7th inning), and are swinging and popping up or grounding out on pitches they should be putting in the seats (see: every Mark Teixeira at-bat in the series). What bothers me most is the looking at strikes, especially strike 3. You want to be patient and make the pitcher throw strikes? I'm all for that. But when the guy has you down 0-2, you can't be guessing or waiting for something anymore, you have to be up there hacking, trying to fight back and MAKE him throw the pitch you want instead of HOPING he throws you the pitch you want.

* After making him look much much better than he actually was from the 2nd inning on, it was almost embarrassing that the Yankees started pounding Cliff Lee and jumping on his first- and second-pitch meatballs in the 8th when he clearly had nothing left in the tank. They took 31 called strikes from Lee last night to only 3 swings and misses. 3!! What more proof do you need that the guy wasn't that good last night? How about 7 hits and 3 walks allowed in 7 innings?? He wasn't fooling anybody!

* It was nice to see Phil Hughes get a few outs with turning the field into a shooting gallery, but you can't get too excited when he was essentially sent in for mop-up duty, sapping all the pressure out of the situation. Until I see the kid get 3 outs to hold a 1- or 2-run lead in the 8th again, I'm not going to be impressed.

* Screw this MasterCard home run charity thing; if MLB really wanted to make some money they would start a charity based around Teixeira and Cano's pop-ups in the series. "Teix & Robbie's Pop-Up for the Troops Fund. For every pop-up Mark and Robinson hit in this World Series, the New York Yankees will donate 100 dollars to a fund designed to help get returning troops back on their feet and settled into a new job. 200 dollars will be donated if the pop-up is hit on the first pitch of an at-bat and 500 dollars if it's hit in a situation with runners in scoring position."

Tell me that's not fucking gold right there. If you implemented that, the returning soldiers would never have to work a day in their lives. They'd be opening up casinos and starting their own cruise lines.

What I'm trying to get at is that Mark Teixeira and Robinson Cano have been disgraceful at the plate in this series, especially Teix. He's first-pitch swinging in the 5th with Jeter on 2nd and he's flailing at junk not anywhere near the strike zone with Damon on in the 9th off the once again not-so-great Ryan Madson. He's off balance, swinging too hard, and pulling off the ball with every hideous hack he takes. If the Yankees wanted Gold Glove-caliber fielding with a 2-19 performance at the plate they would have signed Doug Mientkiewicz back for a hell of a lot less than you, Teix, so get your shit together.

* Jeter's at-bat in the 9th wasn't much better; 2-0, good hitter's count and he lets a fastball go down the middle. Then he lunges at a borderline pitch and grounds into a double play on the 2-1 offering. Just not what you expect from The Captain in that situation.

* While everybody else jumps back on the Philly bandwagon and gets hard-ons for a potential Game 7, consider these factors:

-The Phillies have used their best pitcher and now have to choose 2 from the unappetizing Pedro-Hamels-Happ-Blanton platter to beat the Yankees at home

-The Yanks will get their full complement of offense back in the lineup for Game 6 on Wednesday. That means hello, Hideki, no more Swish in the 5-hole, a full game for Jorge, and Brett Gardner batting 9th where he belongs.

-Ryan Howard is completely lost at the plate. In fact, outside of Chase Utley, the Yankees have held the Philly offense in check through this series.

-The Phillies potential Game 7 starter wants to quit on his team, is getting in fights with teammates about wanting to quit, and even has his manager questioning him. You think his team is going to be pumped to play behind him if there is a Game 7?

-The Yankees will have Mo for 6 outs if need be in Game 6. He's thrown just 13 pitches in his last 2 outings and will have 2 full days' rest going into tomorrow night. If Andy gives them 6, which you expect he'll be able to do, the Yanks will have a mountainous advantage over the rotating pitching machine that is the Phillies bullpen.

In short, everything is fine. Everybody relax, have a few beers before work today, and enjoy the off-day. The Canyon's still getting cleared and the ring sizes are still being taken...

.

.

. But Teix still sucks.

Fuck You and Your Hair

Can somebody please kill this guy?  Please.  Maybe hit him with a pitch?  At least fucking walk him.  Seriously.

10:29PM- Is it too late for Cash to get his money back for Teixeira?

A- Always, B- Be, C- Closing

Let's talk about something important. Put. That coffee. Down. Coffee's for closers only. You think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here from New York. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Lidge? You call yourself a closer, you son of a bitch?

You've got 2 outs. Your teammates worked hard to score 2 runs to tie the game, busted their asses to tie it. You can't get 3 outs to protect the tie you're given, you can't close shit. You ARE shit. Hit the bricks pal, and beat it 'cause you are going OUT.

There's a runner on third so the slider is weak?  Fucking slider is weak. You're weak. Mariano's been in this business 15 years...

You can't play in the man's game, you can't close them - go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life: Get them to swing at the pitches you're throwing. You hear me you fucking faggot? A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing. ALWAYS BE CLOSING.  They're sitting out there waiting to give you their outs. Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? What's the problem, pal?

You see these rings? You see these 4 rings?  

You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close! You think this is pressure? You think this is pressure, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the pressure you get when your team actually has the lead? You don't like it, leave. I can go out there tonight with the pitches you've got and get myself 3 outs. Tonight! In ten pitches! Can you? Can YOU?  You wanna go out in the 9th tonight and close, CLOSE. It's yours. If not, you're gonna be cleaning my spikes.

 
And to answer you question, pal, why am I here? I came here because Charlie Manuel asked me to. He asked me for a favor. I said the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fucking ass because a loser is a loser.
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.
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Hmmm, wonder who gets the Glenngary leads.  Good luck tonight, Brad.  I'm sure you won't choke on it again if given the chance, lose the World Series for your team, and disgrace the name "Brad" for the rest of us out there who are representing the name well.  This is the face of determination right here...

AB4AR's Week 8 NFL Wrap-Up

Week 8 Recap

Baltimore 30 Denver 7

Joe Flacco was efficient, Ray Rice was good enough, and the Baltimore D was dominant in knocking the Broncos from the ranks of the unbeaten. But hey, at least Josh McDaniels still has more career wins than Romeo Crennel, Eric Mangini, and Charlie Weis combined.

Philadelphia 40 NY Giants 17

Consider the panic button pushed in New York as Eli and company have taken shitting the bed to a whole new level. Donovan McNabb put on a show, racking up almost all of his yards and 3 TD passes in the first half. Eli has made his yearly transition back to a noodle-armed 8-year-old girl earlier than usual this season, which doesn't bode for well for the G-Men as the rest of the division seems to be hitting their stride. (Washington doesn't count; they aren't a professional team in my book)

Miami 30 NY Jets 25

Finally a game the Jets can't blame on Mark Sanchez. The dirty one was pretty good yesterday, but not good enough to overcome the Ted Ginn Return Extravaganza. Here's the breakdown of Miami's point scoring: Offense 9, Defense 7, Special Teams 14. When you only give up 104 total yards and still lose, that's cause for concern.

Indianapolis 18 San Francisco 14

Peyton Manning had 347 yards but no touchdowns and Joe Addai tossed a beautiful TD pass to Reggie Wayne, finishing the game with a perfect QB rating and sparking a debate over who should be starting at QB next week for Indy. After another monster day (12-147-1TD), can we all just agree Reggie Wayne is the best receiver in the NFL? Larry Fitz has Anquan Boldin and Steve Breaston next to him; Wayne has Pierre Garcon and Austin Collie. I mean, no offense to them but they are Pierre Garcon and Austin Collie.

St. Louis 17 Detroit 10

Steven Jackson's 149 yards and 1 TD were enough to get the Rams and Steve Spagnuoulo their first win of the season, breaking a 17-game losing streak in the process. While one streak ended, the Lions looked good in their attempt to get a new losing streak going. They may not be committed to winning, but you can't say Detroit isn't committed to being consistent.

Dallas 38 Seattle 17

Somebody needs to find out who Tony Romo is banging now because lately he's been nothing like the mistake-prone, choke-in-the-clutch d-bag that we know and love and it's killing my joke potential. Miles Austin slacked a bit this week, racking up only 61 yards and 1 TD (yawn), and with Roy Williams coming out of the witness protection program this week to catch a TD pass, the 'Boys are suddenly stacked at WR.

Chicago 30 Cleveland 7

Jay Cutler was OK yesterday, but when your opponent is the Browns, OK is usually way more than enough to win. Matt Forte had 2 TDs and Cleveland committed what, for them, is a respectable 5 turnovers. Sooner or later we're going to have to organize one of those offseason QB competitions with Derek Anderson, Brady Quinn, Jamarcus Russell, and Jake Delhomme to see just who the worst QB in the league is. Tell me you wouldn't watch that; dudes bouncing passes off of tires, underthrowing stationary targets, it would be the highest of high comedy.

Houston 31 Buffalo 10

Despite losing Owen Daniels for the season with an ACL injury and having Andre Johnson shut down with just 6 catches for 63 yards, the Texans still romped over the Bills and ended the Ryan Fitzpatrick winning streak. Ryan Moats came off the bench to have 126 yards and 3 TDs after Steve Slaton was benched so the training staff could find a cure for his fumbleitis. If that strategy keeps working like it did yesterday, they might just want to let Slaton go out and cough the ball up early so they can sub in with Moats.

San Diego 24 Oakland 16

Hey, a LaDainian Tomlinson sighting!!! Wow, it's even more unbelievable in person. Somehow LT stumbled his way into 2 TDs yesterday, tricking all of his fantasy owners into keeping him for another couple of weeks as A Whale's Vagina took care of business against the fighting Jamarcuses. Asked how he felt about the team's loss coupled with the OTL story about his violent past towards women at the postgame press conference, Tom Cable promptly beat the shit out of Andrea Kramer.

Tennessee 30 Jacksonville 13

Vince Young played surprisingly well in his return yesterday against the Jags, taking care of the ball, completing some big passes, and never once threatening to kill himself. Of course when your RB is Chris Johnson, that makes life a lot easier. Johnson and Maurice Jones-Drew engaged in a RB version of "My Dick is Bigger Than Your Dick" all day as Jones' 177 yards and 2 long TDs (79 and 80 yards) on 8 carries were bested by Johnson's 24 carries, 228 yards, and 2 TDs (52 and 89 yards).

Minnesota 38 Green Bay 26

I have run out of sarcastic things to say about Brett Favre. The guy has played out of his mind for the first half of this season and yesterday put an end to any speculation that the Packers can hang with the Vikings by tossing 4 more TDs. Of course that doesn't change the fact that he's a turncoat, prima donna, bitter, old, pill-popping bastard sonofabitch, but hey, what can you do. The Packers have no o-line and no D and to quote Ron Jaworski, "That just won't get it done in the National Football League."

Carolina 34 Arizona 21

In a game that proves that stats and rankings mean absolutely nothing in the NFL, the Panthers racked up 271 yards and 2TDs on the ground against the NFL's leading rush D on way to a big upset win. Kurt Warner, in an effort to show Jake Delhomme that he's not alone out there as a pathetic turnover machine, graciously committed 6 turnovers in the loss.


MNF Prediction:

New Orleans 39 Atlanta 26

Call me skeptical, but I just don't think the Falcons' young D has what it takes to bottle up Brees and Friends. They'll keep it close early, but once New Orleans pulls away and Atlanta has to start throwing more as they play from behind, expect a few picks from Matty Ice that will put the game out of reach.


MNF Predictions for the Season (Winners): 5-3

Get The Coffin Ready. Game 4 Thoughts and Afterthoughts

* Did anybody else's jaw hit the coffee table last night when Tim McCarver praised the Yankees and Joe Girardi for using the 3-man, short rest rotation for the remainder of the series. At this point I had assumed it was written into all of FOX's commentator contracts that they couldn't say anything good about the Yankees before 10PM.

* Tim must have realized his mistake because he quickly jumped back into formation on the Phillies cheerleading squad when he said that, in his view, there was no way Joe Blanton hitting A-Rod in the top of the 1st was intentional. I don't know where Tim's getting his views from, seeing as how he caught some of the most notorious headhunters in baseball history, but when a guy gets plunked 3 times in 10 innings, that's about as intentional as it gets. Shame on the umps too for not recognizing the pattern and giving CC a chance to drill Utley or Howard before issuing the warning.

* Both pitchers seemed like they were starting to settle in after the 3rd inning, but neither was on top of their game. Blanton was living on questionable strike calls by Mike Everett and CC could never quite find the consistent command of his fastball that he's used all postseason to get ahead in the count.

* I know it's a bang-bang play at the plate in the bottom of the 4th, but when you're in perfect position and looking right at the plate, there's no reason to blow the call on Ryan Howard missing the plate on his collision with Jorge. It was obvious, it was clear as day, and Mike Everett had a front row seat for it. On the replays you could tell he was unsure of whether or not Howard touched the plate, as he didn't make the "safe" sign until a good 2-3 seconds after Jorge dropped the ball. He knew what the right call was, but once he realized the Yankees weren't going to tag the plate, he took the easy way out and made the safe call. Disgraceful.

* Slick Back Utley tried to be too cool for school in the top of the 5th and it cost his team a couple of runs. He had plenty of time to transfer to ball and make an underhand flip or even a short toss to Jimmy Rollins at 2nd to get Swisher. Maybe that means the Phils don't turn 2, but the lead runner is always most important and Utley tried to make the flashy play to keep the chance at 2 and instead they didn't even get one. I know you've got the hair gel, chief, but you ain't the Fonz, and you certainly ain't Robinson Cano so just stick to the fundamentals.

* Nice read by Melky on Damon's bloop single after the Jeter hit in the 5th. He came halfway off, like your supposed to, and once he realized the ball was going to drop he was thinking homeplate all the way. Maybe a better throw gets him, but with a good slide he's probably in either way. When you're ahead in the game, you can take chances like that and that one turned out well for the Yanks.

* I don't know about you, but I was losing my shit after Teix and A-Horse popped up with 2 on and 1 out to kill the 5th-inning rally. A couple more runs there and you can start shoveling dirt on the Phillies; as it turned out, they could have used those 2 extra runs in the later innings to secure the win and you expect your $50 million heart of the order to something more than pop up to left in that situation.

* The bottom of the 5th summed up CC's night and his performance so far in the World Series: he didn’t have his best stuff, he got himself into trouble allowing the first 2 runners on, but then he bore down and made some big pitches when he needed them to get the 3-4-5 hitters out and keep it a 2-run lead. No way Wang, Clemens, Randy Johnson, Javy Vazquez, or even Chad Gaudin gets out of that situation unscathed.

* Who had the better "FUCK!!" picked up by the FOX homeplate mic, CC after failing to get the bunt down in the top of the 5th or Howard after popping up to left in the bottom? I say CC, hands down. His was more forceful, angry, and much louder and clearer into the mic; Howard sounded downtrodden and defeated with his and there was no heart behind it. The Yankees even swear better than the Phillies.

* It's official: Chase Utley owns CC Sabathia. I know that sounds bad, seeing as how Utley is an uppity-looking white man and CC is a big, strong black guy, but it's the truth, He OWNS him! CC pitched him pretty well the second time around last night, but in the 7th he threw a bad pitch (slider) in an even worse location (hung right over the middle) with 2 strikes and Utley abused it. I wonder what Utley will do in the offseason to torment CC since he won't have CC's off-speed pitches to pound. Maybe some ding-ding-ditch? Little flaming bag of poo on the doorstep?

* I know it's picking at some really small nits, considering the Yanks are a game away from winning it all, but there have been a lot of Yankee batters watching a lot of strike 3's go right down the middle in this series. Yes, I'm talking to you, A-Rod, Teixeira, Posada, and Nick Swisher. I don't know why the decision was made to be taking so much with 2 strikes or if they're all just guessing wrong, but shit! There's been at least a handful of 2-strike fastballs down Broadway that should have been souvenirs, not strike 3.

* He was looking like he was all the way back to form last night, but then Joba decided to stop pitching and start thinking and he screwed himself. He was throwing straight gas, consistently in the 95-96MPH range and nobody on the Phils had shown any ability to put it in play and then he decides to get cute on Pedro Feliz with a 1-2 count, throws 2 shit sliders to make the count full and then had to groove a fastball when Feliz knew it was coming. As many times as he called time to go talk to CC last night, Jorge should have sprinted out to the mound to put Joba in his place as soon as he started shaking off the fastball in that situation.

* He's gone back and forth from earning himself a new 2-year deal to not even getting an offer, but I think it's safe to say Johnny ensured himself a contract for next season with his call back to his KC Royal days on the steal on 2nd and 3rd in the top of the 9th last night. It was a great hustle play and a head's up play all in one, and without the pop-up slide into 2nd, he probably has no chance to make it to 3rd, which is what set up the rest of the inning.

* You can argue whether or not Lidge should have kept throwing the slider all day if you want (and I personally think it's pathetic that the Phillies would decide to go away from his best pitch for fear that he throws a wild pitch), but the fact of the matter is A-Rod was looking fastball all the way and got one right down the middle on his game-winning RBI double. With the wheels falling off the Lidge cart, somebody should have been out there talking to him, and telling him to stick with the slider. Unless you hit him with it, A-Rod is going to make contact on a fastball and that's exactly what he did with Lidge's.

* Another vintage Mo outing in the 9th: 8 pitches, 2 broken bats, 3 outs, start spreading the news. Hopefully Brad Lidge was taking notes.

* If Game 4 of the ALCS was CC Version 2.0, then last night was CC Version 0.2. It was basically a rerun on his Game 1 performance: high pitch count early, untimely walks, never being able to locate the fastball consistently, and pitching from behind in the count more than you'd like to see. But he still gave the Yankees 6+ and left with the lead, and there's something to be said for that. When your ace comes out with his B- or C-game and you still get a win, you'll take it.

* Sure it's Monday Morning Quarterbacking, but Charlie Manuel should have thrown Cliff Lee last night. If your only excuse is that he's never done it before, then that’s just not good enough. Nobody has ever done it before the first time they do it, and yet we've seen plenty of guys step up on short rest and throw gems. If Manuel was worried about him being tired then he shouldn't have let him throw a 122-pitch complete game in Game 1. The bottom line is your team was playing a must-win game and you left your best pitcher on the bench in favor of your number 4 starter. And if you aren't going to start him, at least bring the fucking guy in in the 9th inning. Anything would have been better than Lidge.

* the 9th inning last night was a microcosm of the Yankees entire season; timely hitting when they needed it and shutdown bullpen work at the most crucial moment. CC wasn't great, Joba made a bad pitch, and up until the 9th the offense had only mustered 5 hits, 4 coming from Jeter and Damon, and yet they still managed to put together 3 runs with 2 outs in the 9th inning to get the lead back and hand it over to the most sure thing in the world next to death. Now it's clearly not about bad calls, bad decisions, or anything else. It’s about the Yankees being the better team, plain and simple.

What A Fucking Game!!!

That image right there is what the Yankees just did to the Phillies with that win.  After being down 2 with 7 outs left to tying it in the bottom of the 8th, the Phils and their fans seemed to have momentum on their side. And then the human dam break that is Brad Lidge enters the game and opens the floodgates for the Yankees after looking almost competent against Matsui and Jeter.  If you didn't think the Yankees were scoring a run after the Damon double steal and Teix HBP then you're out of your mind, and if you didn't think Jorge was getting a hit after the A-Horse hit then somebody should be driving you to the mental health facility of your local hospital right now.

If the umps or Charlie Manuel had any sympathy, they would have stepped in and stopped the fight after the A-Rod double, at least leave a little bit in the Phillies' emotional tank for tomorrow night.  But after the deathblow by Jorge, there's no way they come back from that.  Once again, the Yankees recover from their mistakes and pick each other up, and once again Brad Lidge melts down, Chernobyl-style in a big moment, effectively ending his team's chances in this series.

Does it even make sense to call Lidge a closer anymore?  How does he deserve that title?  Don't be shocked if he shows up tomorrow morning dead in his hotel bathtub with his wrists slit.  In fact, that might be the only way to give his teammates a little lift going into Game 5.

Start spreading the motherfucking news because this shit is done like dinner.

Maybe I'm A Jinx

I can't speak much to the events of last night's game because after the 80-minute rain delay and the first 3 innings I decided it was more important to go drinking and check out some half-naked bitches, but I can tell you that everyone should be thanking me for doing so.

In the 3 innings I watched, the Yanks were down 3-0, Andy looked horrible, and the offense continued to be more lifeless than Ed McMahon. As soon as I left for the Halloween party Andy came back to life, A-Horse started knocking the ball out of the yard, and Nick Swisher re-introduced himself to the world of good hitting.

Sometimes you just have to know when to step aside and let things play out and that's what I did last night. I'm not even going to try to break the good vibes by breaking the game down. I'm just going to get ready for tonight and enjoy the music...

The Signs Are All Around Us

As if it wasn't already a foregone conclusion that the Yankees are going to put a stranglehold on the Series this weekend, consider these juicy tidbits:

* The Phillies are throwing who has been arguably their worst postseason pitcher thus far, Cole Hamels, against the newly crowned King of postseason victories, Andy Pettitte.

* The Yankees are getting their 2 best pitchers, who have good track records throwing on short rest, to pitch in Games 4 and 5, while the Phillies have announced the immortal Joe Blanton as their Game 4 starter.

* A-Rod is actually a centaur, and we all know how dangerous those things can be, so it's only a matter of time before he relaxes at the plate, stops expanding his own strike zone, and gets back to the short, compact swing that did so much damage in the first 2 series.

* The Phillies still have this guy...



...as their manager.

I haven't agreed with a lot of Joe's decisions this postseason, but I would rather take his meddling and binder checking than Uncle Charlie's "gee willikers," mindless babbling.  He sounds like a fucking confused NASCAR crew chief.

Everything is coming together exactly as it was predicted by the Mayans 40 bajillion years ago, or whenever the hell they thought up all that crap.  Don't be surprised if tonight kicks off the series of events that ensures the only reason this series makes it back to New York is for the parade.

That's More Like It. Game 2 Thoughts and Afterthoughts

* I know Joe and Tim were in love with Pedro last night, but COME ON!! Just to recap in case you missed it, Pedro is a crafty, wily, creative, tough, smart, intelligent pitcher who thinks out on the mound and has 219 wins to just 100 losses in his career. His stuff isn't what it used to be, but he's a crafty veteran who thinks during each at-bat and isn't afraid to throw any pitch at any point in the count. He has 219 wins and a 2.93 career ERA mainly due to his toughness and creativity and craftiness on the mound. He's the greatest pitcher of this generation because he's so intelligent and tough on the mound and that's why he has 219 career wins. And he also lost the fucking game.

* I can't be too hard on Pedro, though, because I honestly did not expect him to throw even close to as well as he threw last night. For the most part he had the Yankees completely off balance, but he fell victim to the same disease CC had in Game 1 and got in trouble on a few bad pitches. With his high pitch count early, I expected him to be out after the 5th, so it shows there's still gas in the tank, even if it is leaded gas.

* There just aren't enough ways to explain how great a play Jose Molina made in the 4th inning throwing out Werth at 1st. He slide to his right to backhand a curveball in the dirt, caught it cleanly, stepped into the batter in the left-handed batter's box and still fired a strike to Teix for the out. Not a chance in Hell Jorge makes that play; Christ, there probably isn't a chance in Hell he even catches the curveball cleanly. It's plays like that that make Joe look like a genius for sticking with Molina as A.J.'s catcher.

* The Teixeira homer in the 4th couldn't have worked out any better for him. He was looking changeup all the way and as luck would have it, Pedro happened to throw his worst changeup of the night; it wasn't even a batting practice pitch, it was a Home Run Derby pitch. He would have been better off setting it up on a tee and then getting out of the way.

* He came in just as hot as A-Rod, but since his first at-bat in Game 1, the Yankees have owned Ryan Howard. They're doing a great job of working both sides of the plate against him, getting him behind in the count, and keeping him off-balance with the mix of pitches. His golden sombrero last night was a thing of beauty; when 3 of your 4 K's come looking, that's undeniable proof that you have no clue what's going on at the plate.

* Hitting only slightly better than Howard right now is A-Rod. After being completely locked in and then some against the Twins and Angels, A-Rod has resorted back to reaching for the off-speed stuff on the outside corner that he was laying off of earlier. To his credit, he has put some good swings on fastballs and just missed at least 2 potential homers or doubles, and to the Phillies' credit they have done an excellent job executing the gameplan against him that Minnesota and Anaheim failed to, but it still doesn't look good when you're 0-8 with 6 K's to start the series. Because he's still seeing the ball well, I say he breaks out of it in Game 3 against Hamels.

* In case you haven't noticed, opposing catchers have been killing Yankee pitching this postseason. Mauer had his share of hits in the division series, Jeff Mathis was almost impossible to get out, and now Carlos Ruiz is knocking the ball around the yard. I don't know how or why this is happening, but it's the kind of quirky occurrence that gives Tim Kurkjian a woody under the BBTN desk.

* The "DJ Hero" highlight remix before the bottom of the 7th was hands down the gayest thing I have seen in a long time. It made Adam Lambert look like Charles Bronson by comparison.

* The bottom of the 7th was a defining inning for both managers. Girardi made a great call to pinch run Gardner and then hit-and-run with him and Melky, and Manuel made an equally bad one allowing Pedro to start the inning when he was clearly tired and then take him out when Posada pinch hit for Molina in favor of Chan Ho Park when Pedro has owned Jorge over their careers.

* One questionable call by Joe was the Jeter sacrifice bunt. I'm all for moving the runners over in that situation, it's the smart play. But when the guy on-deck is Johnny Damon, who had not looked good at all at the plate so far in the game, I would take my chances letting Jeter try to move them over swinging the bat or just let him get a hit.

* Worse than the bunt call was Jeter taking it upon himself to try to get one down with 2 strikes. Like McCarver said, it's not often you look at a play and say it was a bad play by Jeter, but that was. He's one of the best 2-strike hitters in the game and down 0-2 was going to see some junk. Stay in there and see a few more pitches.

* The Rasheed Wallace "Ball Don't Lie" theory was in full effect on the inning-ending double play in the 7th. Howard obviously knew he caught the ball on a hop, otherwise he wouldn't have stopped dead in his tracks and thrown to second to get the out. The throw was way wide, pulled Rollins off the bag, and should have resulted in everybody being safe because no bases were touched. Howard knew it, the ball knew it, and only the umps didn't know it.

* My first look at the Philly pen was like my first look at a set of tits, it made me feel warm and funny inside. Chan Ho Park sucks, Ryan Madson was nothing special, and Yankees hit lefties so well that Scott Eyre doesn't even make me think once, let alone twice about pinch hitting for somebody in that situation.

* Jeter's turn of the double play to end the 8th was a thing of sheer beauty. Sure replay showed that Utley was actually safe, but you can't hang in any longer and make a better throw than Jeter did in that situation. He knew he was going to take a shot and he stood and delivered. As James Lipton would say, "simply stunning."

* After a shaky 8th inning, Mo was Mo in the 9th to get the save, and what better way than to do it by striking out Matt "Getting' Your Ass Hammered By Guys" Stairs? He threw 39 pitches in 2 innings, which is a bit of a concern even with a day off, and Girardi should definitely not use him for more than 3 outs tomorrow, but it was the smart play in a game that you had to win and in which you were holding a slim lead.

* When you factor in the situation and the opponent, last night was definitely the best game A.J. has thrown in a Yankee uniform. They needed at least 7 innings of shutdown ball last night and that was exactly what he delivered. His command was on point from the first inning and his curveball seemed to get better as each inning passed. His only speed bumps were in the 2nd and 3rd but he buckled down and got out of it, and really should have had a shutout because A-Rod should have knocked down the Stairs grounder in the 2nd.

This was the A.J. Burnett Yankee fans remember from all his victories against the Bombers and the one they were hoping to see all season. His back-to-back strikeouts on backdoor curves in the bottom of the 7th were beautiful to watch and the biggest evidence of his command and confidence on the mound last night. After that performance and with his history of working on short rest, I would have no problem throwing him out there for Game 5.

Joe still has a lot of big decisions to make regarding the staff for the rest of this series, and they all hinge on Andy's performance in Game 3 tomorrow, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. Andy has to go out and do his thing and the Yankee bats still have to wake up. If they win Game 3, though, you give serious consideration to turning to CC and A.J. on short rest to lock the rear naked choke on the Phils.

Well That Sucked. Game 1 Thoughts and Afterthoughts

* After breezing through his first 3 starts, CC hit a bit of a bump in the road last night to start the game. He was clearly a little too jacked up as he couldn't establish command of his pitches and was overthrowing badly in the first inning. He settled down by the time the 3rd rolled around, but by that point he had already thrown 40 pitches.

* Cliff Lee, on the other hand, was an absolute meast last night. I honestly didn't expect him to throw a fraction of a percentage as well as he did last night and it didn't look like the Yankees did either. Lee threw the first-pitch fastball for strike 1 all night and then resorted to his array of off-speed stuff to get most of his outs. The Yankees never seemed to pick up on his strategy the 2nd or 3rd times through the lineup and were pretty much relegated to guessing by the middle innings because Lee could hit any part of the strike zone with any pitch whenever he wanted. There were maybe 3 or 4 hard hit balls off him all night and 2 of them were off the bat of Jeter. A-Rod and Teix looked helpless and Jorge continues to be the easiest Yankee to strike out on a curveball in the dirt this side of Shelley Duncan.

* Chase Utley's at-bat in the 3rd inning was Jeteresque in its greatness. He worked Sabathia, constantly fouling off the pitches he couldn't handle to get himself a better one to hit until finally Sabathia dared him to hit the heat and he obliged. The walk he drew in the 1st inning set up the rest of the night perfectly for him as Sabathia did not want to walk him again.

* I don't know what was better about Jimmy Rollins' play in the bottom of the 5th, the fact that he had the smarts to catch the ball, step on 2nd, and tell Howard to tag Matsui, in effect guaranteeing the Phillies a double play no matter what the call was, or the fact that the umpires got together, conversed, deferred to the guys who had the good looks at the play, and got the call right. Way to go, fellas, 1 out of 100 ain't bad!

* I do, however, know what was terrible about that play and it was Matsui's running or lack of running decision. Dude, you see the ball up in the air, get your fucking ass back to first base!! Or if you think it was a trap and he tagged second, at least try to run to second!! Matsui did the worst thing a baserunner could do in that situation, nothing. At that point it was the first time the Yanks had gotten the lead runner on and it was wiped out by a combination of stupidity/laziness. It's shit like that that will have Matsui wearing another jersey next year; the guy is a liability everywhere except at the plate and one-dimensional baseball players are about as useful as an Etch-A-Sketch for Michael J. Fox.

* As great as hit at-bat against CC was in the 3rd, Utley's homer off of him in the 6th was all on CC. It was an awful pitch thrown after an awful decision by CC to shake off Jorge's call for a slider in favor of the fastball. CC was ahead 0-2 and just had Utley take a hideous swing at an off-speed offering on the outside. Utley punished his fastball last time so why revert back to what didn't work before? Once again, Yankee pitchers' thinking they're smarter than their catcher comes back to bite them in the ass. Why bother having Jorge even put down signs if you already know what you want to throw? Just set up a pitch back with a fucking glove taped to it.

* FOX's constant dugout camera shots afforded us viewers multiple looks at Utley's Jimmy Conway/Henry Hill slick-back look like night and I have to say I was impressed. Rick Pitino himself couldn't have pulled that off any better last night. I was half expecting to see Utley talking to Cliff Lee between innings telling him he insulted the Yankees "a lil bit" after his nonchalant pop-up catch.

* Speaking of which, that catch summed up Lee's performance last night. The Yankees out there flailing away and Lee just being Joe Cool out there mowing them down. Sure he had every right to be cool about it as well as he was pitching, and we all know it provided Tim McCarver with great amounts of enjoyment in the broadcast booth and in his hotel room late at night after the game, but that play shouldn't be forgotten by the Yankees tonight or the next time they face Lee in the series. Something that borderline cocky is something teams don't forget.

* I was surprised to see CC back on the mound for the 7th inning after racking up 100 pitches through 6, but it ended up being the right move by Joe to keep them in the game at the time and showed how little confidence he has in the pen right now. 2-0 after 6 is not insurmountable, and Joe felt more comfortable with a tired CC than a well-rested pen.

* Once the bullpen did get their paws on the game, it was all over but the crying. Phil Hughes is officially useless now. He probably pitched his way out of consideration for any big moments for the remainder of the series last night and we can all start calling him "Phillip" again because that's what he's pitching like. He can bark at the ump all he wants, but the fact is he wasn't hitting his spots with his fastball AGAIN and his 2 walks were the nail in the Yankees' coffin last night. Clearly the moment is too big for him and that's why we'll most likely see Phillip back as the number 4 or 5 starter next season.

* Between Hughes' implosion, Joba's inconsistency, Coke and Robertson's lack of innings, and the new season of "The Brian Bruney Batting Practice Show," I now have visions of Tom Gordon, Paul Quantrill, Kyle Farnsworth, Mike Myers, Steve Karsay, Ron Villone, and Luis Vizcaino running through my head. I can't get on Coke and Robertson too bad for last night since they haven't been used since Jon and Kate were still together, but somebody needs to step up and get 3 fucking outs.

* It's sad when CC throws 7 innings, gives up 4 hits and 2 runs, strikes out 6, and it looks like a bad outing. 60% of the time, that stat line wins every time, but not when Cliff Lee is doing his Cy Young impression against him. His stuff and command got better in every inning and he really only threw 2 bad pitches so there's no need to worry about him throwing Game 4 on short rest. Maybe the extra rest before this start got him out of rhythm.

*It's even more sad when the best part of a World Series game is the promo for the new season of "24." That minute was the only thing that snapped me out of my beer-induced funk after it became crystal clear the Yankees weren't doing anything against Lee.

* As good as Lee was, and he was fucking amazing, I think the fact that Charlie left him out there to throw 120 pitches to finish the game shows not only how little faith he has in his bullpen, but also how little faith he has in the rest of his rotation. Charlie knew his best chance to win the game was to keep his best pitched on the mound as long as possible. He could sense how important that first win was knowing he's got an old Pedro, shaky Hamels, and an even shakier Blanton for the next 3 games. And if he knows that, you know the Yankees know that too so there's no need to panic over last night. Not even the real Murderer's Row would have scored a run off Lee last night.

Everyone just needs to forget about this one and hope we see the good A.J. and bad Pedro tonight.  Let's how influential he is at the new Stadium with his 85-MPH fastball in the colder weather.

Exhibit Q for Why The Phillies Will Get Reamed in This Series

Awww, look at that. The Yankees let the old dude who got fired and claimed age discrimination back to the Stadium for the World Series. What a heart-warming moment; who said the Yankees were a heartless organization?

What's that you say? That's Charlie Manuel? The manager of the Phillies? Bullshit, that guy looks fucking older and more clueless than George, and with a bigger a dump in his pants.

That's REALLY the manager of the Phillies? The team that everybody and their mother thinks is going to give the Yankees all they can handle and maybe even beat in this series? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That old bag of shit there looks like he needs to be in a wheelchair having green Jell-O spoon fed to him. Even Joe can't screw anything up from a managerial perspective when this corpse is the guy with whom he's going to be matching wits.

And to make matters worse for Philly fans, he's already showing how out of his mind he is by starting Pedro in Game 2. Somebody better tell Grandpa Charlie here that it isn't 1999 and he won't have Steve Carlton available out of the pen when Pedro gets lit the fuck up and they limp home down 2-0. Somebody get this guy a LifeAlert and a hospital bed, STAT!
 
This series is fucking over.  People might as well start clearing their schedules so they can get a good view in the Canyon of Heroes now.

Logical Yanks-Phils World Series Preview

There has been nothing but constant talk since Sunday night about how well the Phillies match up against the Yankees and how they might even be better than the Yanks. When it comes from John Kruk saying it, nobody can get too upset; Kruk saying he thinks the Phillies are going to win the World Series is about as shocking as Michele Obama saying she was rooting for Barack to win the election last fall. But when guys like Joel Sherman start suggesting that the Phillies lineup is better than the Yankees, that's where I draw the line. Nothing like a little statistical analysis to end this madness and prove the Yankees are head and shoulders above their supposed "competition."

Offensively, the teams appear even across the board in terms of lineup depth, power, and situational hitting. But one key factor getting overlooked is how each team hits lefties. The Yanks boast the formidable combo of CC and Pettitte while the Phils counter with Lee and Hamels, so how each team has fared against lefties should be a good indicator of success in the series. Here's how the 2 teams compare:

Regular Season- Avg. OBP SLG AB

Yankees- .286 .365 .480 1714

Phillies .248 .335 .452 1518

Postseason-

Yankees- .276 .384 .441 127

Phillies- .189 .355 .432 74

Clearly the Yankees are the better team when it comes to hitting left-handed pitching. The trend has been consistent throughout the regular and postseason and guys like Jeter, Cano, and Teix have abused lefties from Day 1 to Game 6 of the ALCS. But if that isn't convincing enough, try this on for size:

In a combined 66 at-bats so far this postseason, the combination of Jeter, A-Rod, Cano, Teix, and Melky has totaled 23 hits for a .348 average with 4 homers and 15 RBIs. A-Rod and Jeter have also worked 13 combined walks off of lefties just by themselves.

For the sake of comparison, the combo of Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins, and Jayson Werth (otherwise known as the heart of the Phillies) is 6-35 off of lefties. Sure there are 2 homers and 7 RBIs built into that smaller sample size, but if you extrapolate that out to 70 at-bats, they still fall an RBI short of the Yankees' output and are hitting 177 points lower off of lefties in the playoffs.

When you factor in that CC and Pettitte have been all but shutdown-quality effective in the postseason and Cole Hamels has been every bit as bad as Cliff Lee has good, the trends and signs point to CC and Pettitte continuing their dominance against Philly while Lee and Hamels should get hit harder, give up more walks, and be less effective against the lefty-killing Yankee lineup. John Kruk can think what he wants to think, but the numbers don't lie.

Now as far as pitcher-batter histories, the key Yankee bats have had great success against what will be the Phillies' rotation. For his career against Lee, Hamels, Pedro, Joe Blanton, and closer Brad Lidge, A-Rod is 27-84 for a .321 average with 4 doubles, 6 homers, 17 RBIs, and 14 walks. The only pitcher he has not murdered is Hamels, who surprisingly enough he is 0-4 lifetime against with 4Ks, but in limited at-bats A-Rod has rocked Lee, Blanton, and Lidge. No doubt these guys are aware of that history, as are Girardi and Charlie Manuel. If these clowns are even thinking of pitching to A-Rod with how perfectly he's locked in right now, they aren't just flirting with disaster, they're jerking it off under the table at dinner.

And if there's anything that can get Teix out of his playoff half-slump, it's Philly pitching. During his short stint in the NL and over the course of his career in interleague play, Teixeira has dominated Lee, Blanton, and Hamels to the tune of .343, 6 HR, 5 2B, and 18 RBIs in just 67 at-bats. The fact that he hits right in front of A-Rod means they are both going to be protecting each other through their numbers.

The true key is going to be Jeter and Damon continuing to set the table as they did in the ALCS. If they can get at least one runner on, that almost forces Philly to try to pitch to Teix and A-Rod, which history shows they have gotten hammered in doing so, but if the Phils staff can navigate through Jeter-Damon sea, they can pitch the next 2 more carefully and try to avoid the Teix-riguez tidal wave. In case you were wondering, Jeter has been successful in his career against the Philly starters too so once again all signs point to the Yankee offense punishing the Philly pitching staff.

Speaking of pitching, everybody knows it's what wins championships and every Yankee fan knows it's what has killed them in the last few playoff series. This year has been a completely different story. The rotation has been ridiculously dominant, even with A.J. Burnett's ALCS Game 5 stinker thrown in. Here's how the numbers look so far:

W-L ERA WHIP IP H BB ER K

5-0 2.55 1.07 60 48 16 17 48 in 9 starts

The Phillies rotational breakdown, for sake of comparison, looks like this:

3-1 3.11 1.02 55 47 9 19 41 in 9 starts.

What you see there is the Philly rotation being good, but not as good as the Yankees. And their numbers are inflated even more than the Yankees by Cliff Lee's insane numbers in his 3 starts. Lee has been great, and Pedro was surprisingly dominant in his one start, but on the other side you have Blanton who had been marginal at best, and Hamels, who has been a complete disaster. Basically the Yankee staff has been more consistent and has allowed fewer runs and only one more hit in more innings of work with more strikeouts over the same number of games started. The Yankees rotation is better across the board, period.

The bullpens, though, are a different story. Before the playoffs started the Yanks pen was talked about as being their secret weapon while the Phils was talked about as being their potential downfall. After the first 2 series, the Yankees pen has proven to be awful while the Phils pen is suddenly a strength, right? WRONG!!

Comparison-  W-L ERA WHIP IP H BB ER K

Yankees-        2-2 2.28 1.55 27.2 32 11 7 24

Phillies-          4-1 3.24 1.52   25   25 13 9 19

What that tells you right there is the despite their "struggles," the Yankees still have the better-performing pen than the Phillies. 13 of the hits, 5 of the walks, and 5 of the 7 earned runs allowed have come from Hughes and Aceves alone, so without that you're looking at an overall shutdown staff. The Phils pen has racked up wins, but has done it in games where they had commanding leads against teams that were clearly inferior to the Yankees and could not take full advantage of their propensity for giving up walks. The Yankees have shown time and time again this postseason what they do to pitchers who give up leadoff walks and there will be no skating by for the Philly pen in this series because they won't have the benefit of 4, 5, 6, or 7 run leads like they had against the Dodgers.

Despite their high WHIP, the Yankee pen has consistently gotten itself out of trouble and gotten the job done in close games, something the Phillies pen has not shown they can do yet. Once again, all signs point to Yankee supremacy in this always-important department.

So there you have it, all the talk of Philly being equal to or greater than the Yankees squashed with a simple look at the stats. Everybody at FOX and ESPN can stop trying to hype this series up because it's going to end up being a carbon copy of the ALCS: A great team beating a very good one. 3 more bonus tidbits for Yankee fans or just logical people in general that speak to the Yankees chances looking good:

* Despite not having great numbers over a long history of facing the Phillies during his time in the AL East, nobody on the Phillies roster has owned A.J. Burnett, certainly not to the degree that A-Rod and Teix own the Philly rotation

* Jimmy Rollins and Shane Victorino were noticeably sore and banged up after the NLCS celebration was over. You haven't heard a peep about A-Rod's hip, Hideki's knees, Robertson's elbow, or Mo's groin at all so far this postseason.

* Accuscore simulations over 1,000 games resulted in the Yankees winning 66% of the time and the Phillies 34%, a roughly 2-1 ratio.

World Series Prediction: Yankees in 6 games, what would equate to a 2-1 win ratio.

More Game 6/ALCS Thoughts

* Beyond just winning the series, Andy's performance last night allowed the Yankees to keep their rotation intact for the World Series, namely starting CC in Game 1.  The one less off-day in the Series schedule means the Yankees will most likely have to use Chad Gaudin as the Game 4 starter, but by not having the ALCS go to a Game 7, they still have the option, albeit an unappetizing one, of using 3 starters and guaranteeing Sabathia pitches 3 times.

* While guys like Damon and Melky hit much better in this series, the offense is still pretty much Jeter & A-Rod and hope for the best.  Teix still hasn't put it together, Jorge is hot-and-cold, Cano isn't locked in, Matsui looks old, and Swish is just about useless.  Logic would dictate the Yankees will hit better next series against pitching that is no better than what the Angels offered, but don't forget the Yankees won't have the luxury of the DH for 3 of the 7 games.  That fact makes it all the more important that guys like Teix and Cano get it together to strengthen up what will be a thinner middle of the lineup when the series shifts to Philly.

* Who the hell was that old bag who was serving as the Honorary American League President?  And more importantly, why is there a fucking Honoray American League President??  How did she get to that position?  Do you have to apply for it?  What's the age and experience requirements?  Was it some sort of MLB promotional program?  This is the kind of shit that Ken Rosenthal needs to be reporting on.

* And speaking of that lifeless suit, are Ken Rosenthal and the FOX NFL Robot the same thing?  They're both equally useless and annoying and add nothing to FOX's broadcast of baseball or football.  Not to mention that Rosenthal delivers his reports that are always either already known by everybody watching the game or were newsworthy 3 weeks ago in his monotone, over-rehearsed voice, a voice that one could call...robotic.  I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but I'm just sayin'.  If you still aren't convinced, here's a visual comparison...

* I'm not going to argue CC as the ALCS MVP pick.  The guy was brilliant in both of his outings, rendering the Angels' offense a non-factor, the struggling Yankee bullpen an even bigger non-factor, and giving the Yankee offense time to find itself.  But the argument could certainly be made for A-Rod.  Check the stat line:

.429 avg., 3 HR, 6 RBI, 6 R, 8 BB, 20TB, and an absolutely insane 1.519 OPS.  And that doesn't even factor in the flawless play in the field, smart, agressive baserunning, and the little communications with his teammates that helped set up some run-scoring opportunities in the series.

There's no denying the guy has been head and shoulders above his peers right now.  He's doing everything right and doesn't show any signs of slowing down.  He's had very few bad at-bats and looks smoother in the field than he ever has.  Making an out no longer seems to bother him, and he's more willing to let his teammates pick up the slack.  You can pretty much throw all his past failures out the window with the way he's played so far.  It will be interesting to see how the Phillies approach A-Rod, especially in the games at their place, but my money would be on A-Rod continuing this blazing hot streak if Philly chooses to pitch to him.

World Series preview tomorrow...

AB4AR's Week 7 NFL Wrap-Up

Week 7 Recap

New England 35 Tampa Bay 7

After rudely routing the pathetic Bucs for 308 yards and 3 TDs, one of them to Sam Aiken (yeah, I don't know who the hell he is either), Brady and company made like the Pilgrims and quickly left the motherland to head back to the good old U.S. of A. Not surprisingly, some of the Bucs considered staying in England for their off-week next week out of fear that their fans would boo them back to England upon their return anyway.

Houston 24 San Francisco 21

Owen Daniels moved up in the "Premiere White Tight End in the NFL" rankings with a 7-catch, 123-yard, 1 TD performance against a Niner defense that had been shutting down opposing tight ends all season. Alex Smith and his freakishly small hands made their season debut but just fell short in a comeback attempt. Interesting side note: Michael Crabtree's 5 catches for 56 yards in just one game give him almost the same numbers as Darrius Heyward-Bey has all season, just more proof that Crabtree deserved the money he was asking for and that Al Davis is completely senile.

Indianapolis 42 St. Louis 6

The Rams kept this one close for the first 3 minutes of the first quarter and then their ineptitude took over in this lopsided embarrassment. Stevie Spags is already contacting the Giants to see if he can get a job, any job, back with the organization. Peyton Manning was on auto-pilot for the whole game and it showed: ONLY 235 yards??? What the hell?

Pittsburgh 27 Minnesota 17

I'm not going to trash Favre for throwing that late-game pick because Taylor should have caught it. But I will trash him for that half-assed, all-pussy attempt to take out the Pittsburgh defender instead of trying to stop the guy with the ball. For God's sakes, man, that's the ballgame heading down the sideline and you're flopping to the turf like one of the people in "The Happening!!" On the bright side, Pittsburgh's relentless D and it's 2 touchdowns allowed Favre to keep padding his TD-pass record. Oh wait, he doesn't get credited with a TD for the pick 6? Bummer.

Green Bay 31 Cleveland 3

Move along folks, nothing to see here, nothing at all. Just arguably the worst team in football getting their asses reamed again. Add "tackling" to the ever-growing list of things the Browns suck at and put another big check mark next to "coaching" on the list of things Eric Mangini sucks at. The Packers' offense this season has been just like my sex life: inconsistent with protection but always with the potential to score quickly. HIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

San Diego 37 Kansas City 7

Kansas City is slowly learning that they may have traded for the wrong New England quarterback last offseason as their offense continues to be only slightly less awful than Cleveland's. It also didn't help that Phillip Rivers torched their D to the tune of 268 yards and 3 TDs, and did it all without screaming at, throwing the ball at, or giving the D-X crotch chop to anybody.

NY Jets 38 Oakland 0

Man, look at all these close scores, huh?! It was nothing but nail-biters across the league yesterday. The Raiders proved to be the perfect antidote for the ailing Jets offense, who turned Mark Sanchez into a Pee-Wee quarterback yesterday and just had him hand off to Thomas Jones and Shonn Greene, who combined for 265 yards and 3 TDs after Leon Washington's leg injury got him a nomination to the Joe Theismann Hall of Fame.

Buffalo 20 Carolina 9

This just in: The Bills are undefeated with Ryan Fitzpatrick at the helm. The kid just can't be stopped, especially when he's up against the "Human Turnover," Jake Delhomme, who added to his legend with 3 more picks yesterday. You would have thought that the Panthers learned their lesson last week; just give the ball to Williams and Stewart and you'll win. I know they were playing from behind yesterday, but that rule should still apply. When you're counting on Jake Delhomme to lead you back you might as well forfeit.

Cincinnati 45 Chicago 10

Cedric Benson backed up his trash talk of the Bears all week with 189 yards on the ground and 1 TD. After the game he called Jay Cutler AND Brian Urlacher pussies, gave Lovie Smith a wet willy, and cock-smacked the Bears cheerleaders. Carson Palmer and his 5 TD passes are playing almost as well in real life right now as he does for my Madden franchise.

Dallas 37 Atlanta 21

Matt Ryan got Romo'd yesterday as Tony threw for 311, 3TDs, and no completions to the Falcons. The Atlanta O could never get in a groove, mainly due to their inability to establish the run. Miles Austin's 6 catches, 171 yards, and 1 TD has apparently inspired Spike TV to have another Cowboy-themed reality show in which Patrick Crayton and Roy Williams each compete in a series of football events to determine who doesn't end up being cut in the offseason.

New Orleans 46 Miami 34

After playing the first half like a drunk Clark Kent, Drew Brees remembered to jump in the phone booth before the 2nd half to lead the Saints back to a victory over the Dolphins. Brees' 2 rushing TDs for a combined 3 yards now establishes him as a dual-threat on offense, making the Saints more dangerous and rendering Reggie Bush pretty much useless. Don't be surprised to see Brees cure cancer on a 3rd and Goal play next week. The Dolphins continues to show that the Wildcat offense can be effective, but if they really want to contend, they might want to think about formulating a Wildcat defense.

Arizona 24 NY Giants 17

The hangover from last week's beatdown was still present for the Giants yesterday, as they couldn't hold leads or get stops when they needed to. Mario Manningham and Eli Manning did their best Howie Kendrick-Scott Kazmir impression, with Manningham dropping a sure TD pass late in the 4th and then Eli floating a pass into double coverage for the game-clinching interception.


MNF Prediction

Philadelphia 30 Washington 10

Whatever new wrinkles Sherm Lewis is going to cook up for the Redskins' offense, the smart money is going to be on them not working against Philly's D. Expect at least one interception return for a touchdown, multiple big pass pays to DeSean Jackson and Jeremy Maclin, and enough McNabb-Westbrooky-goodness to make this game a snoozer early.


MNF Predictions for the Season (Winners): 4-3

Game 6 Thoughts and Afterthoughts

* FOX tipped their hand early about whose corner they were in with the focus solely on the Angels during the lead up to the first pitch. I'll give them a little bit of leniency for playing up the Game 7 aspect because the rest of the playoff series have been so one-sided this far. But it still wouldn't have killed them to mention once in their opening that the Yankees were looking to clinch.

* Am the only one who thinks Artie Moreno looks like Jerry Stiller? I have expected him to stand up and adjust his mansierre when they had him on camera in the 2nd inning.

* Absolutely horrible play by Vlad running the bases in the 2nd inning? After a second or two he should have realized Swish was going to catch the ball and got back to first, instead he stood in the baseline like someone mesmerized by a UFO and got himself picked off.

* When the hell did Jeff Mathis become Pudge Rodriguez in his prime? Thank God the Yankees don't have to deal with him anymore because he was almost a guaranteed double every time he stepped up to the plate.

* The top of the 3rd was another example of what makes the Angels go as Abreu got a big two-out hit with RISP. At the same time, it showed why the Angels lost as their 2 table setters did next to nothing in the series.

* Fuck Balloon Boy!! The most surprising thing I saw in the last week was Bobby Abreu hitting a wall on a catch in the bottom of the 3rd. Bobby, I'm glad to see you've overcome your fear of padded, immobile walls but I think I speak for lots of Yankee fans when I say "FUCK YOU!!"

* Jeter's at-bat in the bottom of the 4th was classic Jeter. He worked the count, giving Damon a look at all of Saunders' pitches in the process, and ended up loading the bases and sealing Saunders' fate. Just the best in the business continuing to be the best.

* What was up with Kate Hudson sitting down during A-Rod's at-bat in the 4th inning? That's your boy toy up there with the bases loaded, honey, stand the hell up!!!

* No matter how much Buck and McCarver tried to convince you early that Joe Saunders was on his game, the numbers don't lie; he flat out sucked. In 3 1/3 innings he put 12 guys on base with just 83 pitches before getting the hook. His sinker was terrible and his fastball command was hit-or-miss. Most telling was that Saunders had no strikeouts and got just 1 swing-and-miss strike all night. To quote Chris Russo, "That's a bad job in a big spot there by Saunders."

* Andy was the exact opposite of Saunders, showing great command of all his pitches and pounding the strike zone (as gay as that sounds) all night. He looked good in the 5th after sitting on the bench for an extended period of time through the bottom of the 4th inning and got a big out that he needed with 2 on and 2 out in the bottom of the 6th. Another masterful performance by Pettitte.

* How badly was FOX rooting for the Angels last night? Let me count the ways...

1) Buck and McCarver gushing about how calm and relaxed Saunders looked after only facing 4 batters. As previously mentioned, Saunders didn't make it out of the 4th inning.

2) Joe Buck screaming "HERE COME THE ANGELS!!" after a leadoff single in the top of the 5th inning that led to absolutely nothing for Anaheim. Buck sounded like he was watching a public execution when Damon singled in 2 to give the Yanks the lead in the previous half-inning.

3) Buck and McCarver openly discussing how big a play the Posada double play would be if the Angels come back to win in the bottom of the 5th.

4) Darren Oliver getting talked about as if he were the reincarnation of Satchel Paige after his 2+ innings of relief. Umm guys, you're forgetting that he was called into the game in the 4th inning because the Angels' starter was so pathetically ineffective and his team is still losing. Put your pants back on and talk about Andy a little bit.

5) Buck taking a minute or two to talk about what a "great ALCS" Vlad Guerrero had in the bottom of the 8th as the Yankees were tacking on insurance runs. Joe, you do realize you're talking about the guy who ran his team out of a potential run-scoring inning in the 2nd with his bonehead baserunning play, right? Bite the bullet and talk about how good the Yankees are for a change.

* Can somebody please remind Joe that he has Dave Robertson and Phil Coke in the bullpen? There was no reason Damaso Marte should have even been thinking about warming up yesterday and yet there he was in the bottom of the 7th, throwing pitches in case Joba got in trouble.

* It gets overshadowed because they won, but Jorge was downright putrid at the plate last night. His 2 GIDPs killed rallies and the Yankees' opportunities to seal the deal. But hey, at least he remembered how many outs there were in all the innings.

* Jeter's bobble of a sure double play ball in the 7th was terrible, but Cano's play was equally good. I would have expected Cano to be staring off into center field, blowing bubbles, but instead he was right where he should have been and saved Jeter's ass.

*On the other side of the "bad fielding" card was Howie Kendrick and Scott Kazmir. It's hard to decide which play was worse, Kendrick's drop or Kazmir's airmailing of the throw to first on Melky's bunt in the 8th. Even Eli Manning was laughing at that duck. Just the story of the series: the Yankees' mistakes did not kill them; the Angels' mistakes raped, killed, dismembered, and buried them.

* I can't say I blame Mike Scioscia, but when you're bringing in Scott Kazmir to try to hold a team down with your season on the line instead of your closer, that shows you have absolutely no faith in your bullpen. Jepsen, Bulger, and Fuentes didn’t even sniff the mound last night as Scioscia elected to roll out the back end of his rotation instead. In retrospect, probably not the best move.

* Can we ban people hitting the padding down the baselines during big moments? It's doesn’t create any more noise than yelling or clapping and it makes you look like you have Tourette's. Let's hose those things down and electrify them for the World Series to try and discourage this stupid activity.

* I was checking to see if I had pubes in the top of the 8th when Mo came out because I thought it was 1999 all over again. A great call by Girardi and a great performance by Mo, 8th inning run aside. The Angels were Scatman Crothers wandering through the Overlook Hotel and Mo was Jack Torrance swinging the axe into their chest, killing their season. Simply beautiful.

* A quick look at how my 5 keys to the game played out:

1) Andy's ability to throw strike 1.
-Got strike 1 across to 20 of the 25 batters he faced on his way to 6 1/3 innings of one-run ball and 6Ks. Check.

2) Getting to Saunders and the pen early.
-Saunders out after 3 1/3 innings, 7 hits, and 5 walks. Insurance runs off of Kazmir in the 8th. Check.

3) Hitting with RISP.
-Only went 2-8, but the big one was Damon's 2-run single in the 4th and A-Rod tacked one on with his bases loaded walk. Half-check.

4) Running the bases.
-No steals by either team, but Vlad gets doubled off in the 2nd and the Yankees ran clean all night. Check.

5) Managerial decisions.
-Girardi let Andy go as long as he could, then redeemed his questionable Joba decision by going for the kill with Mo for 6 outs. Scioscia thought more of the shaky Scott Kazmir than his usual bullpen guys and it cost him 2 runs in the 8th. Check.

So there you have it. Once again I was right on point with what I called and the Yankees won almost all of those important facets in winning the game. If only Baseball Tonight could provide this level of meaningful insight? When the hell can I start getting paid for this shit??

Cue the awkward man love!...
 

That's More Like It!

Pettitte was brilliant, A-Rod is no longer human, Joba managed to not fuck anything up, the offense bled the Angels' pitching like a stuck pig, and Joe reverted back to the late 90s-early 2000s strategy with Mo, letting him get the final 6 outs to make sure no bullshit happened.

I hope the Phillies enjoyed their rest because their going to need it.



Full Game 6 recap tomorrow morning...