A Baseball Blog Attempting To Balance Rationality, Basic Logic, And Statistical Analysis With Rabid Yankee Homerism
Monday, November 2, 2009
A- Always, B- Be, C- Closing
Let's talk about something important. Put. That coffee. Down. Coffee's for closers only. You think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here from New York. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Lidge? You call yourself a closer, you son of a bitch?
You've got 2 outs. Your teammates worked hard to score 2 runs to tie the game, busted their asses to tie it. You can't get 3 outs to protect the tie you're given, you can't close shit. You ARE shit. Hit the bricks pal, and beat it 'cause you are going OUT.
There's a runner on third so the slider is weak? Fucking slider is weak. You're weak. Mariano's been in this business 15 years...
You can't play in the man's game, you can't close them - go home and tell your wife your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this life: Get them to swing at the pitches you're throwing. You hear me you fucking faggot? A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always be closing. ALWAYS BE CLOSING. They're sitting out there waiting to give you their outs. Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? What's the problem, pal?
You see these rings? You see these 4 rings?
You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close! You think this is pressure? You think this is pressure, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the pressure you get when your team actually has the lead? You don't like it, leave. I can go out there tonight with the pitches you've got and get myself 3 outs. Tonight! In ten pitches! Can you? Can YOU? You wanna go out in the 9th tonight and close, CLOSE. It's yours. If not, you're gonna be cleaning my spikes.
And to answer you question, pal, why am I here? I came here because Charlie Manuel asked me to. He asked me for a favor. I said the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fucking ass because a loser is a loser.
Hmmm, wonder who gets the Glenngary leads. Good luck tonight, Brad. I'm sure you won't choke on it again if given the chance, lose the World Series for your team, and disgrace the name "Brad" for the rest of us out there who are representing the name well. This is the face of determination right here...