Chien-Ming Wang Moving To Greener Pastures (Sort Of)

So it looks like somebody wanted the Yankees' broken Wang after all.

"Wang's deal is worth $2 million and includes the chance to earn $3 million in performance bonuses, a person familiar with the negotiations told The Associated Press." (courtesy of ESPN.com)

Unfortunately for old CMW, that somebody was the Washington Nationals, the black hole of Major League Baseball, where former great players, former good players, has beens, never weres, and never will bes all go to die.  That being what it is, this is still a win-win for everybody involved.

Even though he won't be ready to contribue until at least the midway point of the season, Wang on the DL is still probably a better starter than whoever else Washington can throw out there at the back end of their rotation.  And if Wang does somehow recover his velocity and sinking action on his sinker, this deal looks like a steal for the Nationals as they try to take a step towards reaching the level of mediocrity.

As far as the Wanger is concerned, after the public tarring and feathering he took at the hands of the NY media and fans for his playoff failures and absolute meltdown into a pitcher of historically significant ineffectiveness last year, it will be good to get a fresh start and even better to get that fresh start in a place that has no pressure, no expectations, and probably not even any real fans.  And when he does finally return from his rehab, he won't ever have to worry about exorcising his postseason demons in Washington because the Nationals are so pathetic that they'll be out of the playoff race by mid May.

At worst Wang becomes another shitty starter on a staff of shitty starters, but still making good money.  At best, he returns to the form he showed in the 2007-2008 regular season, which could lead to even better numbers than he put up in the Bronx as he will now be pitching in an offensively-diluted league.

So goodbye, Chien-Ming.  It was fun while it lasted and it was a shame that it had to end so sadly, but the Yankee Championship Express started running again last year and between your injuries and tendency to choke in big moments, there just wasn't any room left for you on the train.

Cervelli Hath Better Watch His MF'ing Back

From today's Daily News:

"Francisco Cervelli stopped playing winter ball in his native Venezuela after he was struck in the head by a hitter's backswing during a game, he said after a recent workout at the Yankees' minor-league complex."

Most casual fans would pass this off as concidence and bad luck, but those of us in the know already know this was a sign from God that he wants his son, Jesus, behind the plate for the Bombers as soon as possible, and he just plain isn't going to let Frankie Cervelli stand in his son's way.  You can stretch out the hammies all you want and wear as much protective catching gear possible, but if the Man Upstairs wants your ass on the bench, it's going to happen.

Cervelli should just be thankful that he was only out for a month; that was a warning shot from the Heavenly Father.  If Cervelli knows what's good for him, he'll show up at camp, continue to work well with the pitchers, hit just little enough to justify his place as a backup, and not do anything to create any buzz about him being Jorge's long-term replacement.  The consequences of such actions are so great that I shudder to even think about them.  And he doesn't even have Gene Monahan around to tend to his injuries.  The pieces are all coming together and God has spoken; The Son must be allowed to take his rightful place behind the plate.

(Cue the angelic music and the doves being released)

Am I making WAYYYYYYYY too big a deal out of this kid?  Of course I am.  But why shouldn't I?  There hasn't been a Yankee position prospect this highly touted since Jeter, and we all know how he turned out.  And for every Jeter there have been far too many Drew Hensons and Ricky Ledees so pardon me if I get a little amped up about the best position guy to come through the system in almost 20 years. 

P.S.- The literary BJs to Montero aren't going to stop until he gets to the Majors either, so fucking get used to it.

Setting The Mood...

If that image doesn't set the mood for a little Valentine's Day lovin', nothing will.

Try that move on your lady friend tonight and you're all but guaranteed to get some action.

Saturday Afternoon Linkapalooza

* Rob Neyer weighs in on the impact of Phil Hughes working on his changeup as he prepares to compete for the 5th spot in the starting rotation this season.  Neyer also becomes the latest to point out the stupidity of innings limitations.

* George King of the Post speculates on whether or not the Yankees will go after 21-year-old (or his actually 19?) Cuban defector Adeinis Hechavarria, and whether or not Hechavarria will become Jeter's replacement at SS or find his way into the outfield.

* Joe Pawlikowski at River Ave. Blues also weighs in on Hechavarria and provides some video highlights of his play in Cuba.

* Steve S. at TYU breaks down the numbers to examine Robinson Cano's potential as the #2 hitter in the lineup.  (Side Note: While I'm more than willing to look at numbers, I don't want Cano anywhere near the 2-spot in the lineup)

* Jon Heyman is Tweeting that suddenly everybody wants a piece of Johnny Damon.  The smart money would be on this Tweet coming right after Scott Boras took Heyman out for lunch and a massage.

* Matt at Fack Youk looks back at the careers of the retiring Tom Glavine and Frank Thomas, 2 of the only older stars of the 90s that the Yankees didn't sign at some point in the 2000s.

* And Lenny Neslin reminds us that there are only 4 days until we can stop pretending to care about a potential LeBron-Kobe NBA Finals, whether or not Alex Ovechkin will lead the Caps to a Stanley Cup, or if UNC and UConn will miss the NCAA tournament (Secret: they won't).

Enjoy the rest of your weekends and your Valentine's Day, Yankee fans.  Make sure your wives/girlfriends stay the fuck out of the way while the Daytona 500, NBA All-Star Game, and the Olympics are all on tomorrow.  Then make sure you make it up to them for staying out the way by taking them out to a nice dinner and giving them a foot massage.  That should be enough to keep you from spending the night on the couch.  I think.

5th Spot In Rotation TBD At Wrestlmania, UFC 110, or The Rodeo

Joba in an interview with The Sporting News on February 7th:

"It's going to be a battle. The greatest part about it is that not only is going to make the guys who will be fighting for that spot better, but it's going to make our team better."

"I'm going to grab the bull by the horns, get after it in spring training and see what happens."

Hughes to the Post on the 11th:

“I know I’m coming into the spring fighting for a job.... I’m out of the reliever mindset for right now."

What's all this "fighting for a job" nonsense?  Is somebody going to come into the clubhouse and lock the Figure Four on the other?  Are the Yankee pitching coaches going to judge these guys on effective striking, grappling, and octagon control?  Last time I checked, it's probably more important that they come out and throw strikes, make batters work, and make good pitches when they have to.

These guys need to cut the crap with all the cliches and just go out and pitch; the more they focus on the "battle" and "fight," the less they're going to be focusing on doing their job and winning the spot.  And if they are going to stick to cliches, they might want to think about remembering to "give 110%" and "take everything one play at a time."

It's not like either of these guys aren't going to make the 25-man roster, and it's not like the Yankees aren't going to be willing to swap their spots in the rotation and bullpen if they have to, either because of performance or because they have to get creative with Hughes' innings.  Joba can talk all he wants about taking the bull by the horns, but that isn't going to help him become the 5th starter.  Showing a little poise on the mound and the ability to think his way through a lineup the 2nd and 3rd time will.

I still say Hughes is the better option for the 5th spot, but we'll see how this "epic battle" plays out when these boys get into camp in the next few days.

Wha-wha-what-WHAT?!?

Interesting little note buried at the bottom of the Yankee blog story about Phil Hughes in the Post yesterday:

*Catcher Jesus Montero, one of the Yankees' top prospects, is working out at first base.

Uh, come again?  Are you shitting me?  I could have sworn I just read that the Divine Savior is working out at first base instead of working on his catching skills to make himself viable defensively at the position.

What the F is that about?  The Yankees are stocked at first base for almost the next decade so what's the point of giving up on The Almighty behind the plate before he's worked with Major League-level players and coaches at the position?  Unless the Yankees truly do believe that Montero is more valuable as a trade chip than a future part of the lineup, this is a terrible move.  You don't try to compensate for such a highly-touted prospect's one major weakness by completely glaring over it and trying him at a new position before he's had a real chance to improve; that's something you do for an already established player heading into the twilight of his career (i.e.- moving Johnny Damon to left field to compensate for his diminishing range and weak arm).

However bad Montero may be behind the plate, he can't be much worse than Jorge, and Jorge's days behind the dish are numbered as it is.  If the Yankees are serious about making Jesus a feature part of their future plans, they need to give him as much time behind the plate as possible before deciding that he can't do it and needs to play elsewhere.  The only way this makes any sense is if they are trying to ease him back into the defensive swing of things after his hand injury last year.

Are The Braves Secretly Trying To Become The Yankees?

Seriously, what the hell are the Braves up to?  They've already got Melky in the outfield and Mike Dunn and Scott Proctor in the bullpen.  Now they're out there trying to sign Johnny Damon when they've got younger, higher-ceiling outfielders with better arms in Nate McLouth and Matt Diaz already penciled into the corner spots.

Have they finally learned from the decade they spent in the 90s being the Buffalo Bills of baseball that if you can't beat 'em, join 'em? Or more accurately, if you can't beat 'em, add as many of the players that they didn't want to your team? I have to say, I can't argue with their logic if that is the case, but if you're going to try to act like a winner, you probably shouldn't swap your best pitcher for an average center fielder.

Clearly the Braves still have a lot of learning to do, but hey, you have to start somewhere and adding as many former Yankees as possible is as good place to start as any when trying to build a championship-caliber team. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and if I'm the Yankees I'm flattered as shit by this move by the Braves.

Mets Lowering Outfield Wall Height To Help Their Pathetic Team

(David Wright and Daniel Murphy loosening up at Spring Training)

Broadcaster Gary Cohen may be able to proclaim, "It's outta here!" a little more often in 2010. And David Wright may not be as inclined to frustratingly fling his Great Gazoo helmet, or whatever protective wear he uses, during the upcoming season.

The height of Citi Field's center-field wall will be sliced in half, making the ballpark more homer-friendly.

Last season, the wall measured 16 feet in front of the sparsely used Home Run Apple. Now, with the second level of padding being removed, it will measure eight feet in the middle of the outfield. Still,...the stadium's spacious dimensions won't be altered.

The Mets hit 95 homers last season, by far the fewest in the majors. San Fran ranked 29th with 122.

They [the Mets] ranked last in the majors in road homers last season with 46. Pittsburgh had the second-fewest with 50. The Yankees and Phillies, who play in hitter-friendly ballparks, also ranked Nos. 1 and 2 in road homers with 116 and 108, respectively.

Meanwhile, an average of 1.60 homers per game were hit at Citi Field last season, more than at five other NL ballparks - San Diego (1.59), San Francisco (1.59), Los Angeles (1.57), Atlanta (1.52) and St. Louis (1.48). And visiting teams actually hit two more homers at Citi Field last season than they did at Shea Stadium in '08. (story courtesy of the NY Daily News)


It just never ends with the Mets. While the Yankees are out there working to get the most out of their budget and build what they think is the best team possible, the Mets are busy trying to adjust their park to accommodate the shitty team they're left with after not spending enough time or money on trying to build the best team possible. Thank Jesus Montero that we had the Daily News to absolutely thrash the Mets' logic on this decision, even if they didn't mean to do it.

The fact that they're lowering the wall is funny enough, but then when you read into the details of this story, it becomes even more laughable. Sure the Mets hit the fewest homers in the league last year, but that is just as due to the fact that they hit the fewest on the road as it is to the fact that they had no power at home. The argument that their park is the cause for their lack of pop is delivered another blow with the inclusion of the fact that while the Mets were busy popping up to the catcher and grounding out to short on the road last season, the Yankees and Phillies mashed just as much on the road as they did at their friendly home confines.

THEN you read about how Citi Field, while having low HR averages last year, still had a higher HR-per game average than 4 other stadiums, including LA, Atlanta, and St. Louis. Guess which 3 teams aren't anywhere on the list of lowest HR totals in 2009??? The Dodgers, the Braves, and the Cardinals!

THEN, as if the point hasn't been driven home enough, the Daily News throws the knockout blow with the line about visiting teams hitting more homers at Citi last year than they did at Shea in 2008.

STOP THE FIGHT!!! STOP THE FIGHT!!!

It's all so clear to everybody except the Mets brass that the issue is not that the walls are too high, it's that the Mets team isn't good enough to hit the ball far enough to go over the wall. The numbers don't lie; Citi Field isn't a Death Valley for home runs, the Mets just don't have the personnel to park balls over the fence. The teams that play in the more homer-unfriendly parks aren't changing anything with their fields because they have Albert Pujols, Ryan Ludwick, Matt Holliday, Brian McCann, Chipper Jones, Troy Glaus, Andre Ethier, Matt Kemp, and Casey Blake: players with the power to knock the shit out of a ball instead of lazily flying it to the warning track.

All lowering this wall is going to do is help a few of the balls that Daniel Murphy and Omir Santos and David Wright hit with their warning track power hop over the wall for ground rule doubles instead of bouncing off the wall back into the field of play where they could potentially become triples. What this story shows, plain as day, is that if the Mets want to improve their homer numbers, they need to do what the story said they already weren't planning on doing; Change the fucking field dimensions!! Or if they don't want do that, then sign some better fucking players!!

While we've already established that the Yankees are going to wreck shit again this year, at least if they don't I will have the comedy of errors that is the Mets to keep me entertained. A Triple-A-quality team playing in a Double-A-quality ballpark being run by a group of way wayyyyyyyyyy below Single-A-quality morons I wouldn't trust to line the fields at the Little League World Series.

Hark The Herald Angels Sing!

(Special shout out to the immortal Swanny Duckson for the fantastic PhotoShop work)

Thanks to the Heavens above that Jesus has been invited to Spring Training this year. Only his divine greatness can help alleviate the rancid stench of evil and ineffectiveness that will surely emanate from Kei Igawa.

Early betting odds on Jesus' biggest Spring Training accomplishment:

-Hits a home run so far that it smashes Hank or Hal's windshield in the employee parking lot at Steinbrenner Field- 2:1
 
-Hits a comebacker up the middle that goes clean through the opposing pitcher's body and kills him- 5:1
 
-Pulls a Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez and hits the cover off a ball in a game- 10:1
 
I know I shat the bed in my NFL picks, but I'm taking the 10:1 on the Benny The Jet bet, and you'd be smart to do the same.
 
Praise Jesus!!

So The Yanks Aren't Going To Negotiate With Jeter, Mo, and Joe This Year? Who Cares?!

While somebody will surely try to make a big deal out of today's story that the Yankees are not going to re-negotiate with Jeter, Mo, or Girardi during what will be the final year of all of their respective contracts this season, it really is a non-issue and actually a smart move on the Yankees' part.

If there are any 2 guys on the team who have nothing to be concerned about when it comes to getting re-upped and getting justly paid, it's Jeter and Mariano. They are the most iconic Yankees since Mickey Mantle and the 2 most important links to the dynasty of the late 90s. There would be such public backlash if the team was to lowball either one of these guys that it would create the kind of unnecessary off-field attention that the team was so bad at creating in the mid-2000s and so good at avoiding last season. Plus, Hank and Hal would risk planting the seed in all the other players' heads that they could be headed for troubling times when their contracts were up; "Shit. If Mo and Jeet can't get a fair deal, what's going to happen when my contact ends?" And it's hard to win championships when everybody is walking on eggshells and checking over their shoulder.

Neither Jeter or Mariano have ever been the type to rock the boat and make demands; they're consummate professionals and are all about the team, and the Yankee brass knows this and so they know they won't cause any waves by not negotiating with these 2 and letting them play the season out. Jeet and Mo have to know then when the time comes, the team isn't going to take a Johnny Damon-style hard line with them and so they'll continue to do what they've done their entire career: keep their mouths shut, focus on winning a title, and deal with their contracts after the season.

What Jeter and Mariano have already accomplished is more than enough to justify what will be exorbitant pay days for them, but when you consider that unlike many of their peers, both have continued to perform at the highest level as they reach their late-30s and early-40s, it makes it all the more justifiable to give them whatever they want money-wise when it does come time to negotiate a new deal after the 2010 season. Neither has shown any signs of decreasing dramatically and neither has been a major injury concern throughout their careers, so there is low risk in giving these guys top-level money.

That being said, the out that not negotiating new deals gives Cash and the swinging dicks is that they won't be married to a big-money deal in the remote chance that something catastrophic does happen to Jeter or Mariano to severely affect their ability to play at an All-Star level or end their careers completely. While it's not something anybody wants to think about, you also don't want to think about having to pay Jeter $25 million a year for 4 or 5 more years after he's blown out his knee and broken his throwing arm in the same season and become a shell of his former self, and not re-upping now eliminates that possibility.

The one issue that could creep up with this approach is what will happen to Girardi if the Yankees struggle this year. Seeing as how the Yankees will go into this season as the odds-on favorite to win the World Series, being a lame-duck coach shouldn't be a problem, but if, by some stroke of black demonic magic, the team plays bad, misses the playoffs, etc. without the presence of crippling injuries, the talk across the NY media outlets will turn to Girardi and whether or not he's coming back and then you've got the 2007 Joe Torre situation all over again.

Girardi has already shown he can handle the NY media and has established great relationships with all his players, but the bottom line in the Bronx is always winning, especially when you're coming off a World Championship and looking to win another. If the unthinkable happens, Girardi's lame-duck status will become a bigger and bigger deal and could overshadow the team itself. But since we've already established that that isn't going to happen and the 2010 World Series trophy is as good as theirs', then there's nothing to worry about. Everybody will go out, do their job, win another title, have another parade, and then be handsomely rewarded.

Yanks Bring In Right-Handed Power Bat (Wait, What?)

While the Yanks held their hard line on their $200 million Opening Day budget for 2010, they are still going all out to guarantee themselves a 2010 Triple-A Championship with the signing of Marcus Thames to a $900,000 minor league deal today.  Thames, a former Yankee farmhand who had a half a cup of coffee with the team in 2002 before being traded for Ruben Sierra in 2003, hit 13 HRs and drove in 36 runs last year in 258 at-bats with Detroit at a .252/.323/.453 split.

While he's not guaranteed a spot on the team with the minor league contract, the signing of Thames does make the Randy Winn signing all the more puzzling.  Thames gives the Yankees what they needed, a righty power bat off the bench who can play the corner outfield if need be, at less than what they're going to pay Winn to be an unnecessary defensive replacement outfielder who can't hit a lick.  But if last off-season taught us anything, it's 'never doubt Cash.'

The smart money is on Brian having a plan for Thames, even if it's as simple as keeping him on the Triple-A roster all year as a Shelley Duncan-type who can be used as a call up to fill the 25-man roster when somebody else takes a stint on the DL.  But in any case, Marcus' chances of going home for Thanksgiving in 2010 with a World Series bonus and an appointment to get measured for a championship ring just increased ten fold.

Is It Spring Training Yet?

After last night's rather bland Super Bowl, boring, un-funny commercials, and ho-hum halftime show, it's about damn time we get back to focusing on baseball. Screw the NBA All-Star game; forget March Madness (since UConn isn't going to make it anyway); let's just move right on to MLB Opening Day.

Seriously, get me some pitchers and catchers reporting right now. I want daily updates on how Jesus Montero looks behind the plate. I want to see Javy Vazquez and Andy Pettitte laughing and joking while they go about their stretching and running drills. I want to see Brett Gardner and Ramiro Pena showing up early to get more batting practice in to prepare for the bigger roles this year. I want to see A.J. Burnett practicing pitching to a metal cut-out of a batter, "Charlie Sheen in Major League"-style to try and cut down on his wild pitches this year.

P.S.- did anybody else notice the similarities between last night's Super Bowl commercials and Johnny Damon? Both are severely overpriced, both had solid make-ups (lotta funny premises for the commercials; Damon still an above-average hitter), and both had major glaring weaknesses (no solid punch lines on the commercials; Damon's weak arm and presence as an injury risk at age 36). And in the end, there doesn't seem to be much buzz about any of the ads the day after just like there hasn't been any buzz for Damon since the 2009 season ended.  Just a thought.

The Day's Offerings From Yankee Blogland

Because I'm just too damn lazy and tired today to post anything funny or insightful and I'll probably be too drunk tomorrow to post anything funny or insightful, here's a quick link fix from around the Yankee blog world.

-Lenny Neslin puts together a nice comparison between The Babe and Albert Pujols through the first 9 seasons of their careers.  Of course, The Babe comes out on top.  Shocker.

-Sam Borden at LoHud takes a look at the challenges facing Girardi in regards to team chemistry this season.

-Matt Imbrogno from TYU, in their continued genius generated from fanatical statistical analysis and using simple logic, examines the Yankees defensive projections for the season.  Early returns are looking good in the field.

-And just to keep things light, the boys at It Is High, It Is Far, It Is... caught poke fun at Dustin Pedroia's off-season workout regimen.  If you're making fun of the Red Sox, I'm there.

Enjoy the Super Bowl, Yankee fans.  I'll be back Monday.

AB4AR's Super Bowl Pick

New Orleans @ Indianapolis: Line- Colts by 5

And so it all comes down to this, Peyton and the Colts against Big Drew and the Who Dat Crew for the right to wear ugly t-shirts and hats and call themselves champions. Before we get to the breakdown of the game and the pick, here's a word from Al Pacino:



Thanks, Al. Now to the game.

By now everybody knows enough about Dwight Freeney's injured ankle to write a book about it, but what people don't know is whether or not he's going to play, if he does, how many plays is he going to be, and how effective is he going to be on that broken wheel. Despite what the Colts say, the Saints have to be preparing as if Freeney is going to be on the field; that means having blocking schemes set up to chip him with tight ends, pick him up with RBs, and make sure he is accounted for on every single play. If he doesn't go, then everything becomes a little easier for New Orleans, but they still have to prepare for the worst.

Robert Mathis is a good player, but he's more Pippen to Freeney's Jordan than a Jordan-type himself. Mathis thrives on the attention that other teams pay to Freeney and it isn't going to be as simple as swapping him to Freeney's side of the line if Dwight can't go and letting him have a field day. If Freeney can't go, or is severely limited in playing time and effectiveness by the injury, then the Colts are going to have to get creative to get pressure on Drew Brees. We're talking stunts, bringing LBs and defensive backs on blitzes, and disguising it well enough so that Brees doesn't sniff it out at the line and pick them apart with audibles and hot routes. The Colts LBs and secondary have been praised all year for their team speed and ability to stand up to the opponents' skill position players but we're not talking Derrick Mason, Mark Clayton, and Jerricho Cotchery here. We're talking wave after wave of Marques Colston, Devery Henderson, Robert Meachem, Lance Moore, Jeremy Shockey, and Reggie Bush coming at you from all angles and spreading and stretching the field, trying to exploit the weak spot in the coverage. This game will be the truest test of just how good Indy's secondary is or isn't.

On the other side of the ball, New Orleans has made no secret about its gameplan: hit Peyton Manning at all costs. That strategy worked pretty well against Minnesota, as the beating he took over 4 quarters almost certainly had something to do with Brett Favre's bonehead decision at the end of the game. But don't forget that before that ill-fated throw across the middle, Favre had spent the better part of the game carving up the Saints secondary, something that Manning, more than anybody else in football, can do with ease. If Jabari Greer and Tracy Porter can't cover Bernard Berrian, I can't imagine them shutting down Reggie Wayne one-on-one, and if the Saints commit 2 guys to Wayne, then this game could turn into another episode of "The Pierre Garcon Show."

One thing to look for by the Colts could be an early commitment to the running game. Knowing what the Saints are going to look to do, the Colts could flip the script and keep the ball on the ground more with delays and draws to try to use the Saints' aggression against them. Sure they were the worst rushing team statistically in the league this year, but in Joe Addai and Donald Brown, the Colts have 2 guys who can get the job done. With the Saints going balls to the wall for Manning, an early dose of draws and short screen passes could be just what the doctor ordered to negate the New Orleans pass rush and force them to respect the running game, which will make life that much easier for Manning once they do decide to start chucking the pill.

An X-factor for the Colts is going to be Antoine Bethea. Bethea is going to have a plethora of responsibilities: stepping up to stuff the run against Pierre Thomas, covering Dallas Clark in spread formations, shadowing Bush out of the backfield, and providing help over the top to the Saints corners. The more positive plays he is involved in, be it through tackles, tipped or broken up passes, blitzes, and forced turnovers, the less time New Orleans is going to spend on the field and the better of the Colts are going to be.

For the Saints, the X-factor, as usual, is going to be Reggie Bush. I thought this was going to be Bush's breakout season but it turned out to be just another up-and-down year that looks more representative of what his career will turn out to be. For every big game Bush has, he has 2 after it in which he is virtually non-existent and for the Saints to win this game, he can't be non-existent. There are going to be a handful of opportunities during the game to get him the ball in space and he needs to take advantage of those opportunities. Bush can't be dropping easy passes or getting taken down by the shoelaces in the open field. If he can break a few big plays, he can force the Colts to devote more attention to him and open up the field for the Saints receivers. But if he shrivels under the spotlight and becomes a non-factor, then the Colts can drop more men into coverage and try to blanket New Orleans' air attack.

While each teams' defense has been the focal point in the weeks leading up the big game, I don't expect either to be overly influential of the game's outcome. Both teams are going to put up points but in the end the Colts will put up more. They are better equipped to handle what New Orleans is going to throw at them with their veteran o-line, good blocking backs, smart receivers, and the best QB in the game, than New Orleans is. The Saints receivers have had the tendency in the past to get cases of the dropsies and I foresee a couple big ones in this game that kill drives for them. The game will be closer than some think, but the Colts will do enough to cover and win.

The Pick: Colts 34 Saints 27


Playoff Predictions (Season): 2-8

Pimpin' Ain't Easy...Unless You're Alex Rodriguez

Alex Rodriguez is playing the field like a man possessed in the aftermath of his split with Kate Hudson, and has been on dates with a cavalcade of women in the past two weeks -- including a meeting in Manhattan with old flame Madonna.

On Saturday, he was spotted at lunch with one beauty in South Beach and then took another girl out for dinner at restaurant STK that night.

"He has been seeing a petite brunette from New York," the source said. "While he was in the city, he had a private meeting with Madonna at his home. They have stayed in touch and text each other all the time.

"He has also been hanging around with the girls from Wilhelmina Models in Miami. He picked out a curvy blonde from their books and took her to the Bahamas for a charity event two weeks ago. And he was pretty pleased with himself to be dating two girls in one day last Saturday." (story courtesy of Page Six)


The A-Horse strikes again!! First Madonna, then Kate Hudson, now a whole gaggle of bitches at the same time. Well, I can't say I approve of he and Madonna, because let's face it, she's old and she might be a dude, but this latest report of The Horse's off-field conquests should be music to Yankee fans' ears.

For one, it shows that his hip has to be fully recovered and showing no ill effects of extra wear and tear from last season. I mean, if A-Rod is banging this many chicks on a regular basis, that's a lot of stress being put on the hip, and if the hip is holding up to that stress then it's a foregone conclusion that he's already in mid-season form. For all we know, this is part of his new off-season strength and conditioning program and if the hip is holding up to this kind of rigorous workout regimen, that I think he's going to be just fine once the regular season starts.

Secondly, this shows that Alex is still in "I'm going to do what I want to do and not give a fuck what the media says or thinks" mode and last year wasn’t just a flash in the pan. This is the new and improved A-Rod and he's going to bang who he wants when he wants. Then he's going to show up at the Stadium and go 3-5 with 4 RBIs and not say shit to Kim Jones about it.

And why shouldn't he be pleased with himself for dating 2 chicks in one day? Most guys can barely pull off dating one chick at a time, and most guys like me who blog like this are lucky to even sniff one chick, let alone date her. Keep up the good work, Alex. This kind of pre-season training is what MVP seasons are made of.

Hughes Vs. Joba: Who Ya Got?

Once again, Joel Sherman was johnny on the spot with his column today about the "Joba vs. Hughes for the 5-spot in the rotation"-debate. The entire article can be found here.  In it, he correctly stated that Hughes should be the 5th starter and that Joba is a better fit as Mo's setup man and the heir to the throne, but also brought up the potential issues that arise if the Yanks take that path and some other points to consider. Here are the highlights:

"...The bigger question the Yanks might want to ask in spring is not Joba vs. Hughes as much as 2010 vs. the future.
Because aren't the 2010 Yanks much better if both Joba and Hughes are in the bullpen?"

The argument could be made that having both as shutdown bullpen options ahead of Mo would be beneficial for the Yankees. After the taxing workload that Joe put on CC, A.J., and Andy through the playoffs last year, it would be nice to be able to shorten games in the regular season and keep them at 6 or 7 innings even if they are pitching well, knowing that he may want to use the 3-man playoff rotation again come playoff time. Hughes-to Joba-to Mo could be a modern day version of The Nasty Boys, with Marte, Robertson, and Aceves sprinkled in to provide depth. Those 6 together pitching well would give the Yanks the best bullpen in baseball, and would give them ample opportunities to keep their starters fresh through the first 162 and cover up a potential weak spot at the end of the rotation without sacrificing wins.

Of course, Sherman's theory that adding Vazquez to the rotation lessens the importance of the 5th starter is a little misguided. A quality starter is better than a quality reliever, and nowhere was that more apparent for the Yankees than last year's postseason when their starters, for the most part, outperformed their bullpen. Phil Hughes as a potential 12-15-win guy at the back end of the rotation is a better option than a season of Chad Gaudin or Sergio Mitre, and also more valuable than Phil Hughes the potential shutdown middle relief guy. No matter how good a bullpen is, it can't mask a bad rotation. Getting your best 5-man starting rotation out there is the most important thing when it comes to pitching and no spot in the rotation should be taken for granted, especially at the expense of strengthening your bullpen.

In short, the Yankee bullpen may be better in 2010 with Joba and Hughes in the 'pen, but the pitching staff as a whole and the team as a whole could arguably not be better by potentially sacrificing its best 5-man rotation for bullpen depth.

"Manager Joe Girardi is very protective of relievers, anyway, and with both Chamberlain and Hughes available, he could continue on that path more comfortably while further diminishing the temptation to ever push Rivera into the eighth inning before the postseason."

The other side of the benefit coin is the relief it provides Mo. Having Hughes and Joba in the 'pen together not only helps shorten games for the starters, but also shorten games for Mo. Ensuring that Mo is only needed for the 9th inning or is used for more than 3-out saves as little as possible keeps more gas in his tank for the playoffs. Joe had the whip to Mo practically throughout the entire postseason last year, mainly due to Mo being his best relief pitcher but also due to shaky performances by other guys in the bullpen. Limiting Mo's innings in the regular season helps ease the wear and tear on his 40-year-old body and can make Joe that much more comfortable going to him for 4, 5, or 6 outs in the playoffs if he has to.

But once again, if your rotation is weakened by the inclusion of both Hughes and Joba in the bullpen, you potentially lessen your chances to use Mo, making how much rest he gets a moot point.

"However, to put both Chamberlain and Hughes into the pen would mean that neither is in position to be a full starter in 2011 -- which is a factor not only for cost certainty, but because Vazquez is in his walk year and Pettitte contemplates retirement annually."

This is the big sticking point. The Yankees mismanaged Joba in the rotation so badly last year that they basically wasted a season of his career. And Hughes threw so few innings being in the bullpen that the Yankees would have to manage his innings similarly this season in order to not risk turning him into the next Mark Prior. So if one of these guys is being counted on to replace Vazquez a/o Andy next season, they can't risk having their innings limited this year.

The correct way to manage those innings is to start a guy off in the 'pen or the Minors to keep his innings low and then slowly build his workload up as the season progresses so that by the end of the year he can go out and throw 6 or 7 innings without having to worry about pitch counts or innings limitations. If he can stay healthy and you can get him 150 innings this year, then next year he should be full speed ahead as a regular part of the rotation with no worries and can be counted on to fill a key spot if both Vazquez and Pettitte leave.

Whether the Yankees envision both guys as future starters is irrelevant. The fact is, Hughes has shown more ability to use his pitch repertoire successfully as a starter than Joba has, and Joba's mentality is just better suited for the bullpen. As his initial call-up and demotion to the 'pen for last year's playoffs showed, going from starter to reliever is no big deal; there's less to worry about, less to think about, and pitchers can just rock and fire, which is what Joba likes to do and has had his greatest success doing.

Entertaining the thought of putting both of these guys in the bullpen or experimenting with both in the rotation this season serves to do nothing but retard their growth as pitchers. The Yankees need to commit to spots for both of these guys and those spots should be the rotation for Hughes and the 'pen for Joba. Manage Hughes' innings correctly and there shouldn't be any problems this season or in 2011.

Time To Go Back To The Future

Ever since the Randy Winn signing, the majority of Yankee talk has been about the what if's and the why's? Why didn't Damon take the Yankees offer? What if the Yankees offered him more money? Why didn’t they wait Damon out longer to see if his price would drop more? Why didn't they go after Reed Johnson instead of Winn? What if Damon goes to Tampa? What if Damon goes to Detroit?

What if we all just stopped talking about what didn't happen in the past and instead focused on the future? What about that? The bottom line is, the Yankees signed the guy they wanted and it wasn't Damon. The team is complete and staring straight down the barrel of Spring Training, so let's just all forget about the what if's and the who's that the Bombers don't have. Instead, let's start focusing on who they do have and the issues that are important for the upcoming season, such as Joba or Hughes in the 5-spot or bullpen, who's going to play left field, who's going to play center field, how the new bench guys will perform, where Granderson fits into the lineup, whether or not this is the year that Cano puts it all together, and which Hollywood starlet A-Horse is going to shack up with next.

I'll admit, I was just as guilty as everyone else in my assessment of the deal that was (Winn) and the deal that wasn't (Damon), but at this point, I could care less where Johnny Damon wants to go and where he ends up. I don't care if the dude plays at all this year. What's done is done and it can't be changed so let's leave it in the past, gun this bitch up to 88MPH, and start steaming towards the 2010 season.

Joe Mauer Wants To Keep Losing in the ALDS For The Next 10 Years

Reigning AL MVP Joe Mauer and the Twins agreed to a 10-year contract, according to a Minnesota TV station.

WCCO reported yesterday the catcher and the team reached a preliminary agreement that will prevent Mauer from becoming a free agent after this season.

The Minneapolis Star Tribune reported earlier yesterday that the framework for a deal was in place, but ESPN said a final agreement was not complete. (story courtesy of the AP)


Guess Joe Mauer isn't interested in winning World Series titles any time in the next 10 years. Oh well, have fun competing for the Wild Card every year, kid.

And the Twins can cut the shit with the "nothing has been finalized yet" garbage. Everybody and their mother knows this deal is getting done no matter what it takes. If you're the Twins and you fail to lock up the face of your franchise and one of the 5 best players in the game with a fancy new stadium opening up this year, you might as well forfeit the season and move the team to another city.

Note to Jesus Montero: Time to step up and work on your defense to prove you can be an everyday catcher at the Major League level because once this deal goes down, the job is yours to lose after Jorge gets put out to DH pasture.

It's Still Amateur Hour At Citi Field

Even if I didn’t have the Yankees to keep my chin up during this late-winter crapfest in sports, I could always count on the comedy of errors that is the New York Mets to brighten my day. Here's a quick update on how their Monday is going:

Putz Was Damaged Goods Last Year

J.J. Putz told CSNChicago that he did not receive a physical after the Mets acquired him in a trade with the Mariners before last season. Putz said the Mariners had discovered a bone spur in his throwing elbow during the 2008 season, and when the Mets did find out about the injury they instructed Putz to hide it from the media.
“When the trade went down last year, I never really had a physical with the Mets. I had the bone spur (in the right elbow),” said Putz, who was signed by the White Sox this offseason after the Mets declined his option.
“It was discovered the previous year in Seattle, and it never got checked out by any other doctors until I got to spring training, and the spring training physical is kind of a formality. It was bugging me all through April, and in May I got an injection. It just got to the point where I couldn’t pitch. I couldn’t throw strikes, my velocity was way down.”
“I knew that I wasn’t right. I wasn’t healthy. The toughest part was having to face the media and tell them that you feel fine, even though you know there’s something wrong and they don’t want you telling them that you’re banged up.” (story courtesy of the NY Post)


So let me get this straight. The Mets traded for a guy who they knew had a potentially serious elbow injury because they didn't give him a physical and then once they realized their fuck up, they put a gag order on the guy to cover up their own stupidity and not give him a way to explain why he was so terrible last year, thus leaving him at the mercy of the ruthless New York media and fans?

That sounds like par for the course for the Met front office and training staff. I guess J.J. wasn't the putz after all. HIIYOOOOOOO!!!
 
Jose Reyes Is A Doctor Now
 
I don't want to tell Jose Reyes what to do, and considering how poorly the team managed his injury last season, not to mention the calamities that were the Ryan Church concussion, the Johan Santana arm issues, the Carlos Beltran knee, and now the J.J. Putz elbow, I don't blame him for leaving this out of the team doctors' hands. But if I were him, I'd be doing more than just a few wind sprints before I declared myself ready to play baseball in 2010.
 
At least get looked at by a volunteer at a free clinic before declaring it full speed ahead. That has to be a safer option than letting the Mets training staff get ahold of him.

Of course, seeing as how this story and the Putz story were posted on The Post's website at about the same time, I would say it's only a matter of days before we are reading about Reyes' entire left leg falling completely off of his body.
 
Mets Interested In Yankees' Sloppy Seconds
 
Wang is being watched closely by the Mets, according to ESPN Insider.
Wang's agent told the Web site that four or five teams are interested in the 29-year-old right-hander who had elbow surgery in July and is not expected to be major-league ready until May.
The report says the Mets also are looking at John Smoltz and Braden Looper, and are stopping short with Wang because he will not be available for the entire season....
Omar Minaya told SNY on Thursday that the free-agent market doesn't have options that are better than the pitchers already with the Mets. (story courtesy of The Post)
 
 
Oh, Omar, you silly, stupid little man. OF COURSE the free agent market doesn't have any good options left. You let them all pass you by without even getting involved over the last 2 months! And not for nothing, but just because there aren't any free agent options that are better than what your team has, that doesn't mean that what your team has is any better than the available free agent options. But hey, if you want to show interest in a guy who won't be ready to pitch until May and probably won't be back in top-form game shape until June or July, be my guest.
 
And if you're going to kick the tires on John Smoltz or consider penciling Braden Looper and his 5.00+ ERA-potential into the rotation, why not check in and see what Doc Gooden is up to? Or El Duque. Or Tom Glavine.

I mean, who needs guys like John Lackey, Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Randy Wolf, Jason Marquis, Rich Harden, Ben Sheets, Joel Pineiro, or Jon Garland when you've got Johan (coming off arm problems in 2009), John Maine (ditto), Mike Pelfrey (unreliable and mentally unstable), Oliver Perez (ditto, only more unreliable and more unstable), and Tim Redding (so useless that he probably isn't even included on the team roster in MLB videogames)? Am I right?

I'd say it's already shaping up to be a great year for the Mets.

Putting Things Into Perspective

Between UConn completely sucking, my NFL playoff picks being absolutely terrible, the Cashman-Damon-$2 Million fiasco, the Yanks' unwillingness to commit to Brett Gardner as a full-time player, and the countless number of trades and signings of washed up and/or irrelevant "replacement" outfielders, there's been a bit of a negative vibe about the blog lately.  So to end the bitching and moaning, here are some reminders to myself, and all Yankee fans, that there are things to smile about in Yankeeland:

-The Yankees still obtained Curtis Granderson, a guy who has the potential to do everything Johnny Damon did offensively while also doing more defensively than Damon did.

-Adding Granderson and Winn to the pair of Gardner and the severely defensively underrated Nick Swisher, the Yanks will have one of the best defensive outfields in baseball this season

-That improved outfield defense will help AJ and Andy, 2 guys who can pitch to a lot of contact, especially fly ball contact when they aren't locked in, continue to put up numbers just as good, if not better, than what they put up last season.

-The Yanks now have another innings-eating horse (Vazquez) to go with their Secretariat (CC) who, even if he sucks like he did his first time here, will still help minimize any issues that could creep up in the bullpen this year.

-They have by far the best offensive infield in baseball that will come back a year more comfortable in New York (Teix), a year more mature (Cano), and a year more healthy (A-Horse).  There really isn't anything that anybody could want or expect Jeter to improve on this season, so you'll all just have to live with another .300+ avg./200+ hit/100+ run season.  The potential for what kind of numbers these guys could put up this year is scary, like Charlie Weis in a suana-scary.  Oh, and all 4 could win Gold Gloves too.  Just a thought.

-They have Jesus Montero in the minors just waiting to get up to the big leagues and tear AL pitchers apart.  The numbers this kid could put up as a catcher (assuming he stays at that position) would make Joe Mauer and Victor Martinez look like Brian Schneider and Jason Varitek.

-They still have this guy...

Ahhh, now I feel better.

Launch The Lifeboats

That disgusting sound you hear is the sound of UConn gagging away a game that they should have won easily in the last minute, and in the process effectively ending their season.

After getting their dicks knocked in the dirt by a bad Providence team on Wednesday, the Huskies came out today and shot 49% from the floor to Marquette's 38%, shot a pretty respectable 70% from the line, outrebounded Marquette 41-18, blocked 11 shots, and still held only a 3-point lead with 55 seconds to go, a lead that they turned into a 2-point loss with a combination of fouls, bad defense, missed shots, and the same level of general sloppiness and carelessness that has defined their season.  The fact that they committed 16 turnovers to Marquette's 2 also didn't help.

It's clear after this week that the Texas win last Saturday was just an aberration and the immature, uninspired bunch that we have seen for most of the season are the REAL 2009-2010 UConn Huskies.  Whether it's Jim Calhoun screaming at them and shuttling them in and out of the game or George Blaney calmly pacing the sidelines and sticking with what appears to work at the time, this team just plain doesn't have it.  There are no leaders on this team and there aren't going to be.  There also won't be an NCAA tournament bid.

So put your life vests on and get up to the main deck now, Husky fans, because this ship is going down.  Don't let their next win fool you into thinking they are starting to come together and make their run.  This team sucks and they're going to continue to suck.  The best thing you can do is start to forget about this year, hope Calhoun recovers from his ailment to return for next year, wish Jerome and Sticks well in their future NBA endeavors, and gear up for next year and next year's incoming class and hope that they have a little more in their nutsacks than these guys have.

Yankees Opening Day Roster Taking Shape

With the Randy Winn signing official, the Yankees' 25-man roster is pretty much set. Now I know we're still a few weeks away from pitchers and catchers reporting and even further away from Spring Training officially starting, but barring any major injuries or insane performances by a borderline guy, expect the opening day roster to look something like this:

Starting Lineup:
1) Derek Jeter
2) Nick Johnson
3) Mark Teixeira
4) Alex Rodriguez
5) Jorge Posada
6) Robinson Cano
7) Curtis Granderson
8) Nick Swisher
9) Brett Gardner

Starting Rotation:
1) CC Sabathia
2) A.J. Burnett
3) Andy Pettitte
4) Javier Vazquez
5) Phil Hughes

Bench:
-Francisco Cervelli
-Randy Winn
-Ramiro Pena
-Juan Miranda

Bullpen:
-Mariano Rivera
-Joba Chamberlain
-Damaso Marte
-David Robertson
-Alfredo Aceves
-Chad Gaudin
-Boone Logan

Now the bench still looks a bit thin, but with a rotation and bullpen like that, and one of the best starting lineups in the game, there's still more than enough on that roster to get the job done.

Damon Vs. The Yankees: The Saga Ends

From Joel Sherman's column today in the Post:


If...July rolls around and the Yankees are dissatisfied with their outfield/DH production and are looking for a Damon-esque player, then they probably will rue not behaving like their behemoth-market self to keep Damon. If Damon is unable to find significant dollars and/or ends up slumming in, say, Cincinnati or Oakland, then he may wonder how he let the Yankees get away.

Like his departure from Boston to New York as a free agent, Damon leaves a championship in the background, and leaves angry and in a financial dispute. He landed well with the Yankees (four years, $52 million). But there will be no repeat this time, and he may not exceed $7 million plus deferrals.

He might have chased a few extra bucks and left behind a Stadium that ideally fit his swing and a winning, big-market club that fit his outsized personality. Of course, the Yankees, too, are losing that Stadium swing and imperturbable personality, and are replacing Damon with a human first-aid station (Johnson) and role players (Winn and Brett Gardner).

From the outside, it seems like both sides needed to relent. But pride and inflexibility reigned, and now you wonder if regret is coming next.


Preach, Joel, preach! Nobody could have summed up the Damon-Yankees situation that played out this off-season any better than that. But it's a hot topic today so I'll get my 2 cents in too.

Damon's approach shouldn't have come as a surprise to anybody, especially the Yankees or their fans. He wanted more money when he was in Kansas City and he got traded; he wanted a big-money contract in 2001 that Oakland wasn't going to give him so he signed with the Red Sox, AKA the highest bidder; when his contract was up with them, he wanted more money and more years than they were willing to give him so he bailed to the highest bidder again, the Yankees.

Damon is a classic Scott Boras client; he follows the money and drinks the Boras Kool-Aid when it's contract time, always putting years and money ahead of winning and team fit, and holding out to wait for a better offer if Boras tells him it's out there. During the prime of his career that was a solid strategy that earned him a lot of cash and a few World Series titles, but now that he's 36 and a free agent during a poor economic time when teams are much more reserved in their spending, that strategy left him high and dry.

Damon can say whatever he wants about how much he wanted to come back and how much he loved being a part of the team and the locker room, but it's the same story he sang when he jumped ship from Boston to New York in '05. The fact of the matter is, the 2-year, 14-mil offer he got from the Yankees, while not being what he and Boras wanted, was the best and so far only offer he received. It was a more than fair offer for an above-average offensive player who is also a defensive liability and a potential injury risk. If Damon really loved being and playing in New York as much as he said, he would have taken the deal, realizing that competing for more World Series titles, possibly reaching 3,000 career hits in pinstripes, and becoming an eternal Yankee legend in the hearts and minds of Yankee fans for generations to come is just as good as making a few extra dollars. When you can walk into any bar or restaurant in New York after you retire and never have to pay for a meal or drink for the rest of your life, those couple of lost millions aren't that big a deal.

The puzzling part to this soap opera was the Yankees' approach. After years and years of spending money to put a championship team together, they finally decide to put a hardline on their payroll the year after they win the title again and when it involves bringing back a key piece to that title-winning team. When you consider that the Yankees were in the driver's seat with the Damon negotiations, it makes their decision and the fact that they stood so pat on their position even more bizarre. Damon and Boras were standing out there like the fat kid waiting to get picked in a kickball game and the Yankees were the only team showing any interest in picking him. Instead of just sucking it up and picking the fat kid, they decided to take the blind kid with polio.

Every day that passed gave the Yankees more and more leverage to come back to Damon and say "Hey chief, you wanna play ball next year or not? One year, 6 mil. Take it or leave it," and they still thought that wasting $2 million on Randy Winn to platoon with Brett Gardner was a better financial and baseball decision than forking over an extra $4-5 million for Damon. Now I'm all for being financially responsible and I fully understand the team's position of not wanting to inflate their payroll anymore after the money they threw around last off-season, but to be so nit-picky about $2 million instead of $6 or $7 million for a still very productive player who is tailor-made for their stadium and their clubhouse was more Oakland A's than New York Yankees, and more "let's watch our expenditures and double check the balance sheet" than "let's win another championship." In a nutshell, it went against what has become the "Yankee Way" under The Artist Formerly Known as George Steinbrenner.

Basically what this whole ordeal came down to was the Yankees having a plan this off-season and Johnny Damon being a part of that plan, but not a big enough part that the Yankees were willing to risk throwing the rest of the plan out of whack just for him. After seeing how the theory that "pitching wins championships" played out for them in the 2009 postseason, they made sure they addressed that first by bringing in Javy Vazquez and using the rest of their budget to fill out the roster the way they thought was best, which was something that Damon apparently couldn't accept. Only time will tell which side was right and which side was wrong, but my money would be on Joel Sherman's theory of both sides realizing the errors of their ways and both sides spending some lonely summer nights laying in bed in their hotels, thinking about what could have been.

Losing With Winn

On the one hand, I want to give Cash credit for at least adding an outfielder with Major League experience and All-Star credentials as a replacement to Damon.  On the other hand, when that outfielder is Randy Winn, a guy who hasn't been a major contributor to a team since his All-Star year of 2002, and at 35 (turning 36 during the season) is just as old as Johnny Damon and far less productive, I can't help but feel like that magical $2 million could have been better spent by being donated to Jeter's Turn 2 Foundation.

The Yankees were looking for a potential starting left fielder, and at worst a 4th outfielder who could hit right-handed with some power and split time with Brett Gardner in the outfield depending on matchups or if there was a lefty on the mound that day.  What they got was a dude who put up a whooping .262/.318/.353 line at the plate last year, has NO power whatsoever, and can't hit lefties to save himself.

The only positive thing about Winn is that he's an above-average outfielder.  But that also happens to be Gardner's greatest strength and Gardner's offensive numbers (.270/.345/.379) were better than Winn's last season and project to improve thisyear as he is younger and has less experience than Winn.  Winn is nothing more than a glorified late-game defensive replacement, but when your outfield consists of Swish, C-Grand, and Gardner, where is the glaring weakness that Winn needs to replace?

And what does that say to Gardner when the Yankees are basically telling him "We don't trust you to be good enough next year to be an everyday player so we're bringing in an older, slower, less productive version of you who hits lefties worse than you to platoon with you?"  If this is some kind of secret motivational tactic for Gardner to prove himself, it's insanely misguided.  You want to motivate Gardner and get him to play well?  Have Joe call him tomorrow and say "Hey, Gardy, you're my starting centerfielder next year."  Instilling a little confidence in somebody never hurt, right?

For Cashman, signing Winn today for $2 mil when Damon was still out there, still with no other serious suitors, and still with a pretty damn good 2-year, $14 million deal potentially on the table is the equivalent of asking an ugly chick who has a reputation of not putting out to the Senior Prom when the hot chick in your class who you've had a crush on since 5th grade and who is known for giving amazing, coma-inducing blowjobs, who you asked out a few weeks ago but told you she wanted to hold out and see if the captain of the basketball team asked her instead but now she just found out him and his ex are back together and going to the prom together, still doesn't have a date and still doesn't have any other guys asking her out. 

Now you can take the ugly chick out and who knows?  Maybe you'll have a good time and maybe you'll get lucky.  But if you just went back and asked the hottie out again and she said yes, then you KNOW you're going to have a good time and you know your potential for "postseason success" is much higher.  Sure, you'll have to spend a little more money on a nicer tux and probably take her out to a much fancier restaurant beforehand.  But at the end of the night, when you're laying (standing) in bed (in the locker room) next to her (next to the team), covered in sweat and strawberry-flavored body butter (covered in sweat and champagne), holding her left ass cheek in your hand (holding the World Series tropy in your hand), you'll know it was worth it.

And if that ugly chick comparison isn't bad enough, here's a nice little tidbit of info on Randy Winn via Buster Olney's story of the signing on ESPN.com:

Winn... has played 1,601 career games without a postseason appearance. That's the longest drought by an active major league player.

Nothing like adding a little loser spice to your World Series-caliber soup to really fuck up the recipe, huh?

The Search For Damon's Replacement Is Over

The Yankees have acquired outfielder Greg Golson from the Texas Rangers for infielder Mitch Hilligoss in a swap of 24-year-old minor leaguers.

Golson played one game in the majors last year. He hit .258 with 40 RBIs in 123 games with Triple-A Oklahoma City in 2009. He was designated for assignment last week when Texas signed infielder Khalil Greene.

Golson, who had 27 extra-base hits last year, is a .263 career hitter in the Minors with 48 homers and 265 RBIs in 634 combined games in the Rangers and Philadelphia Phillies organizations. (story courtesy of the AP)


As if Jamie Hoffmann wasn't enough to fill the void left by Johnny Damon's departure, now the Yankees bring Greg Golson into the fold and the outfield instantly transforms from a potential weak spot on the roster to an embarrassment of riches.

The numbers don't lie; this kid has future All-Star written all over him. .263 career Minor League average? 48 homers?? 265 RBIs??! You might as well put his number and plaque in Monument Park right now. If you take those earth-shattering career numbers and expand them over a 162-game season next year, Golson projects to hit 12.26 HRs and drive in 67.71 runs next year. Never mind the fact that putting up those number would involve Golson stepping up to Major League competition, something he has never faced; this move definitely puts the Bombers over the top.

Seriously though, Khalil Greene can barely hit a baseball off a tee, and the Rangers made room for him by designating this Golson kid, so how fucking useful can he be? Can Cash just cut the shit with this $2 million budget and sign Damon already? This isn't some cutesy Home & Garden Network "home redecorating on a budget"-style reality show; this is the defending World Series Champion New York Yankees. It's clear that there are no other teams involved in trying to sign Damon so he and Boras' genius plan to get a long-term, big-money deal has failed and now they have no leverage.
 
If the team isn't going to commit to Gardner as a full-time guy or discuss the better defensive option of Gardner in center and C-Grand in left, then sack up, make Damon a fair deal, bring him back for a year or 2, and put the Korbel and Bud Light tall boys on ice.


**UPDATE** (4:25PM): The Yanks just signed Randy Winn for, you guessed it, $2 million.

Words cannot express how disappointed I am in that signing and how much my heart goes out to Greg Golson and Jamie Hoffmann, who never got their chance to shine in the leftfield Yankee Stadium sun.

More on this signing later tonight.