Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Mark Teixeira, Bee Expert

(Courtesy of SB Nation)

By now, I'm sure everybody knows about the little 7-minute bee delay that interrupted yesterday's game.  What you might not know is that, had the umpires had the wherewithal to ask him, Mark Teixeira would have had the whole situation under control:

“What I thought was if you could just do a line of honey out to the parking lot, the bees would maybe follow it and leave us alone.”

Well duh.  Why didn't anybody think of that??  No need to spray a bunch of insecticides into the air, potentially putting the fans and players at risk and senselessly murdering a few hundred bees who were just trying to do their thing.  Just do a line of honey out to the parking lot and maybe the bees would have followed it.  Teix even volunteered the Yankees' honey.

Real multi-threat that Mark Teixeira.  Gold Glove-caliber first baseman, most boring person ever on Twitter, Broadway actor, painfully white, and amateur apiologist.  Now if only he could translate that bee knowledge to the batter's box and add a little sting to his swing.  That'd be something.

P.S.- Do you see what I did there with the "sting" joke?  That's highbrow stuff.

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