FJ'ing Cash's Soriano Presser Statements Right In The M

Lotta interesting shit said by Cash today during the introductory press conference for Rafael Soriano and in the subsequent Q&A sesh with the media.  I couldn't, in good conscience, let some of those statements go without commenting on them.  On with it.

"I didn't recommend it [the deal], just because I didn't think it was an efficient way to allocate the remaining resources we have...."

"And you know I know what I'm talking about when I say signing a relief pitcher to a 3-year deal isn't efficient.  I mean, 3 years and $21 mil for Damaso Marte??  Am I right?  Ehh, ehh?"

/looks around the press conference nodding and smiling

 "We are better with Soriano -- there's no doubt about that. It's all the other stuff wrapped around the deal, the money, allocating closer type money to an eighth-inning guy, those type of things."

"Did I mention the money?  And the fact that it's going to a guy who's going to pitch the EIGHTH inning???  Is this thing on?!?!  HELLO?!?"

“I think 29 other GMs would love to have their owner shove Rafael Soriano down their throat.”

Eeewwwww, dude!  Gross.

Seriously, though.  I don't think any GMs would enjoy that.  Rafael Soriano is just too damn big to fit down anybody's throat.  And even if you got past the physical impossibilities involved, you just flat out wouldn't be able to breathe with him stuffed down your throat.  Not to mention the fact that if he's down your throat, he isn't in the bullpen, earning his ridiculous salary.  So no, really no upside to having Rafael Soriano shoved down your throat.

“[Joba] is a bullpen guy, for the 200th time.”

Awwwww.  Somewere Mike Axisa weeps.

"I always thought that Pav [Carl Pavano] can pitch here.  He has shown he can pitch in difficult circumstances."

If by "pitch," Cash means "pitch very little and be completely ineffective when he was on the mound," and if by "difficult circumstances," Cash means "circumstances created by a combination of Pavano's own doing, then lying to the organization, and just being a massive, blood-belching pussy," then he would be right on.

If he didn't mean that then he's a fucking moron.

"Ultimately, I don't think he was afraid of coming back here."

If that's true then Pavano is an even bigger moron than Cash.  Not even joking, I honestly believe that if Pavano ever showed up at Yankee Stadium in pinstripes again he would be pelted with batteries and beer bottles until he simply drowned in them.

“It’s a difficult market to choose from" [referring to the pitchers left on the free agent market]

Because all the pitchers left completely fucking suck.  It's less of a market and more of a trash heap.

"Listen, if you’re still on the board, there’s a reason for it …"

That reason being because you completely fucking suck.

"The starter might have to come from within. Hopefully we have some of these young kids answer the bell for us.”

Not exactly a ringing endorsement for Sergio Mitre as the 5th starter, now, is it?  Poor bastard.  It's not his fault he's completely mediocre and nobody in the entire organization has any shred of faith in him.  He's just doing the best he can with what God gave him.  Unfortunately for him it already sounds like what God gave him is only going to be good for about 4 or 5 starts before Cash decides he's seen enough and calls up David Phelps or Hector Noesi.

Oh well.  Tough shit for Mitre.  Cash is obviously salty about having his recommendations on signing Soriano ignored so he has to do something to re-establish his control over personnel decisions.  Mitre is going to be the first casualty and I'm OK with that.  Preach, Cash!  Fucking preach!

Heeeeeere's Raffy!

 (Photo courtesy of somebody)

And he looks fucking PUMPED to be a Yankee!

Seriously, bro, lighten up.  You look like you're about to get sentenced to death.  You're a Yankee now!  King of the hill, top of the heap!  Don't be afraid to crack a smile.

No word yet on what Soriano had to pay Frankie Cervelli for the right to wear #29 this season.  But given that it was Cervelli wearing that number, I would bet it didn't go for more than 100 bucks.

The Inevitable "Joba As A Starter" Post

(Don't get too stoked, Joba.  It's just a suggestion)

I tried to hold out as long as I could, I really did.  I didn't want to have to address this topic again, even as every other blog out there willingly stepped up and took this issue on.  But with the continued mention of the likes of Freddy Garcia and Kevin Millwood as options for the 2011 Yankee starting rotation, I was really left with no choice.  May God forgive me for what I'm about to write.  I can't believe it's actually had to come to this.

With where the Yankees are right now, that place being a rotation with no Cliff Lee and no Andy Pettitte, and with no viable options seemingly available anywhere, the question is worth bringing up again.

Should the Yankees make Joba a starter again?

I know that may be perfectly reasonable to many and absolutely frightening to others.  To me, it's somewhere between Norman Bates bursting through the door dressed up like his mother wielding a kitchen knife at the end of "Psycho" and Michael Myers sitting up behind Laurie Strode in the upstairs bedroom after she stabbed him in the face with the wire hanger at the end of the first "Halloween" movie level of scary.  I have never been a fan of Joba as a starter, just because I thought it was painfully obvious that the dude didn't have the mental makeup to be an effective starter.  I know that kind of thinking brings tons of eye rolls from people who pay attention to stats, and I am usually one of those people.  But it didn't take somebody with X-Ray vision to see that Joba was like night and day on the mound when he was a starter as opposed to being a reliever.  The posture, the facial expressions, the body language, the constant shaking off of signals, and the snail-like pace at which he pitched with runners on.  It all added up to somebody who wasn't comfortable being out there in a situation where he had to face batters multiple times and use his weaker secondary pitches. 

To me, Joba belongs in the bullpen, where his 2 best pitches, his fastball and his slider, can be maximized and the mental game of having to think his way through a lineup is rendered meaningless when he is only being counted on for an inning or 2 tops.  But I am also from the school that believes the Yankees and their handling of Joba are most to blame for his lack of starting success, and that it's a black mark on their management skills for the way he eroded as a potential high-end starter and has no been reduced to 6th or 7th-inning bullpen duty.  And with the other existing options currently slated to pitch in the 4th and 5th rotation slots, it does beg the question of "couldn't/wouldn't Joba be better than those guys?"

Now I'm not going to bother getting into the numbers and breaking down Joba's 'starter vs. reliever' splits because, quite frankly, they've been beaten to death by all the other Yankee blogs in a way that even the Manson family would cringe at if they saw it.  I'm just going to get straight to the point and say (and I can't actually fucking believe I'm going to say this) that YES, I think Joba should be given a shot to earn a rotation spot for the 2011 season.  The way I see it, even at the numbers he's already put up as a starter or slightly worse, he can't be worse than what they would get from a full season of Nova or Mitre, and I would take Joba in the rotation over Garcia or Millwood 25 hours a day, 8 days a fucking week.

Since I believe that Joba's past failures are mainly due to the Yankees' mismanagement of him and the rest due to his just being a mental midget, I think the Yankees owe him at least one more shot to show them that he was worth the 1st-round pick and worth the lightning-fast promotion through the Minors.  They have a new pitching coach this season in Larry Rothschild who is known for getting the most out of his staff's stuff, and Joba already has 2 quality pitches to work with.  If he can refine even one more of his secondary pitches, he could become a serviceable 4th or 5th starter, and at this point in his career innings limits go out the window, so the Yanks won't have another chance to botch that deal.

A bullpen of Mo, Soriano, Joba, D-Rob, Feliciano, Boone Logan, and "Long Reliever X" is lights out, no doubt about it.  But a bullpen of Mo, Soriano, D-Rob, Feliciano, Boone Logan, Mitre, and "Space Filler X" (who could become Andrew Brackman) is more than enough to get the job done and a rotation with Joba and Nova at the back end would give me more confidence going into the year than Nova and Mitre or Nova and anybody else off the free agent scrap heap.  If it doesn't work out, what's the worst that could happen?  Joba bombs, the Yanks move him back to the 'pen, and by then they will either be ready to promote Brackman, Noesi, or Phelps for an audition to try to catch lightning in a bottle, and trade possibilities will be starting to take shape.  And with the lineup they have, the strong bullpen, and CC as their ace, they're still going to be in good shape even if Joba flames out again as a starter.

It might not be the ideal situation, but it's the best way to handle it internally with no Lee, no Andy, and nothing else of value available at the time.

Pre-Arbitration House Cleaning

They may not have gotten Cliff Lee or Andy Pettitte to solidify the rotation, but at least the Yanks are using the extra money for something, signing Phil Hughes, Joba, and Boone Logan to new deals today to avoid arbitration.  By all indications, the deals each guy got are good for the Yanks ($2.7 mil for Hughes, $1.4 for Joba, $1.2 mil for Boone Logan) and in Hughes' and Joba's case almost certainly less than what they would have received had they gone to arbitration.

The Yanks have money to spend after their top 2 pitching targets fell through, and they certainly haven't been shy about spending it so far.  As Vinny Mac likes to say...



... and the Yankees will always have plenty of money.  And if you got it, you might as well spend it.  Especially when you're spending it to make your team better.

Is There Trouble Brewing In The Front Office

 (Is this the battle Cash might be getting ready to fight?)

 The worst part about the Soriano signing last week was the multiple reports coming out that the signing was "ownership driven."  Anybody familiar with the Yankees over the last 10-15 should have shivers running down their spine from reading that phrase.  It's no secret that the Yankees of the late 90s and early 2000s were successful because of their ability to draft well and build up internal talent, sign free agents who fit the system they had in place, and make shrewd trades to add guys where they were needed.  The Dark Ages of the mid-2000s were the result of ownership, specifically Mr. Steinbrenner, demanding that certain guys be added based on name recognition and past performance and the results spoke for themselves.

The return to prominence over the past few seasons has been the result of Cash finally being granted autonomy in the personnel decision-making department in 2005 and the team getting back to what made them successful in the past.  A re-dedication to developing the farm system, making smart trades like the Swish and Kerry Wood pickups, and bringing in guys who were still in the primes (CC, Teix, C-Grand) have gotten the team back to the top of baseball and within 2 games of consecutive World Series appearances.

The point here is that when the ownership group keeps their nose out of on-field decisions, the team thrives.  The 2 times we have seen them interfere were the A-Rod re-signing in '07 (which looks like it could turn into a horrible contract if The Horse keeps throwing shoes) and the recent Soriano signing last Friday.  It's almost as if the contract handed out to Soriano was a panic reaction to the Yankees not signing Cliff Lee and the continued questions about the weak back end of their rotation.  If that is the case, then that makes the signing even more questionable than it already is.  It's not like Cash didn't do everything in his power to sign Cliff Lee.  Lee made the decision that he would rather play for somebody else.  Cash shouldn't be punished by Hank or Hal or Randy Levine because their prized target didn't sign by having his decision-making authority taken away from him a week after he declared his position on the matter.

Each time I have to read about somebody in the front office pushing for a certain player, it makes me feel bad for Cash for the way he gets dicked around.  Especially in this case, when he was dead set on sticking to his plan and then had that plan taken away from him by those above him in the front office.  It worries me that the battle lines between Cash and the ownership could form again, especially if the Yankees struggle out of the gate with what will in all likelihood be a weak starting rotation.  It also worries me that this incident or another one like it will re-ignite the talks of Cash leaving when his contract is up.  He might not be the best GM in baseball, but he's easily in the top 5, and under his guidance right now, the Yankees are set up to be successful in the present and in the future. 

If you give the guy full control over player personnel decisions, stick by that decision and let him run the team.  The players and manager have enough to worry about when it comes to the on-the-field stuff.  The last thing they need is to be flooded with questions from the media about the front office.

Does Anybody Know What's Going On?

The Yankees are the leading candidate to get Andruw Jones.  A deal is almost in place.  But they're battling him on his asking price.

Jesus Christ, does anybody ACTUALLY know what's going on with the Yankees and Jones?  If not, then please just shut the fuck up because between losing Cliff Lee when they were the supposed front runners and the ongoing Andy Pettitte situation, I've had about all I can take from "sources."  If the guy signs, report the deal and give me the details.  Otherwise be fucking quiet!

P.S.- If the Yanks are actually picking nits about money on the deal then I'm going to be pissed.  Give the dude 1 year and $ 2 mil with incentives and call it a day.  There's no reason to hold out hope (and money) that Andy is coming back.  Move on without him and spend to address the roster holes appropriately.

This Week In WTF

With rumors flying left and right about the Soriano signing being influenced by ownership, Randy Levine, and even Mariano himself, there's no shortage of serious topics to discuss this weekend.  Battle lines between Cash and the owners could be being formed again, and that would certainly not be good for the future of the Yankees, but there's something even more important than that situation that needs to be addressed.

What in name of Christ is going up with Robbie's facial hair?!?!  Good lord, that is hideous!  He looks like some kind of campy villain in one of those shitty Jason Statham action movies.  The only logical explanation for that has to be that Cano is getting an early start on his David Ortiz costume for Halloween this year, and any other explanation is simply not acceptable.

I know we've got a few months before we have to worry about seeing that every day, but come on, Robbie.  Clean that shit up.

Something To Consider Regarding The Soriano Contract

I never thought about this possibility when discussing the opt-out clauses in the deal.  Luckily, there are other bloggers out there smarter than me.  Observe:

"Because the contract is end-loaded, it isn’t likely that Soriano’s future performance would ever surpass his salary, so if the right hander were to allow his ego to send him back into the free agent market, the Yankees would be freed of the risk associated with the length of the deal. In other words, the Yankees would wind up with one great year from Soriano and Type-A free agent compensation, which means they’d swap one draft pick for two. Should that happen, the Yankees’ end of the bargain would look much better, which is exactly why the opt outs are probably more in their best interest than Soriano’s (i.e., it provides him with a temptation that isn’t likely to work toward his benefit)." (via The Captain's Blog)

Touche, William.  Touche.  That scenario playing out would be a win-win-WIN for the Yankees in that they would get maximum performance from a guy with closer talent (presumably in helping them go deep into the postseason), wouldn't have to suffer through the full $35 million, and would get compensatory picks if and when Soriano goes back into the FA pond that will help ease the suffering of all the draft pick lovers out there who are undoubtedly still crying in their soup as I sit here and write this.

Alright, I'm fully on board with this deal now.  Let's get this motherfucker fitted for a cap and jersey and get him out there now.  Just say a few "Hail Marys" for his elbow health and then run him out there in 2011 until his arm falls off!

Yanks Sign Soriano, Make Liar Out Of Cash

(The new guy)

Just a week ago we had Cash all but swearing on his grandfather's grave that he wasn't giving up a 1st-round pick to sign Rafael Soriano.  Well "liar, liar, pants on fire" on Cash because last night the Yanks agreed to a 3-year, $35 million deal with Soriano to become the setup man to Mo in 2011.

I've spent the better part of this morning reading everybody else's take on the situation and when I weigh all the positives and negatives of this deal in my head, I have to say I dislike it more than I like it.

The benefits of this deal are pretty obvious.  Increased bullpen depth, proven commodity stepping into the 8th-inning role, and injury insurance for Mo should his body finally start to realize it's 41 and shouldn't be this awesome anymore.  In essence, this deal re-creates the situation that the Yankee bullpen had after acquiring Kerry Wood at the trade deadline in 2010, and gives Joe more options to mix and match with.  Furthermore, the increased depth will allow him to keep a better handle on workloads and use guys accordingly to cover the weak back end of the rotation right now.

But right there is where the negative aspects of this deal start.  Signing Soriano, a reliever, does nothing to address the most glaring issue the 2011 Yankees are facing, their weak rotation.  And signing Soriano for the kind of money they did gives the Yankees less financial flexibility to address that starting pitcher issue.  For a team that has been through the ringer on long-term, high-dollar contracts for setup men before with almost always exclusively negative results (see: Farnsworth, Kyle; Gordon, Tom), this is a curious move that screams panic to me.  For all the names that have been thrown out as possibilities for starters, the Yanks haven't expressed any serious interest in any of them.  The Soriano signing to me signifies them having no intention of signing any of these bargain-bin arms and instead focusing on strengthening the 'pen to be ready should Nova and Mitre falter as the 4th and 5th starters early in 2011.

And then there's the issue of the opt-out clauses.  The deal includes the option for Soriano to opt out after the 1st and 2nd years of the deal, which, any way you look at it, is a lose-lose for the Yankees.  If Soriano gets injured (and he has before) he gets to kick back and collect millions while the Yankees take the hit in the wallet and on the field.  If Soriano dominates, he can test the FA waters again and leave if a team presents him with a better or similar monetary deal to close.  I just don't see the reasoning behind making that kind of concession if you're the Yankees.  Why commit that much money and give away that much contractual control to a guy that you don't actually NEED?

Losing the draft pick isn't as a big a deal to me as it will be to others.  Yeah, this draft is supposedly stacked, but the reality is the MLB draft is a crapshoot, the Yankees already have a stocked Minor League system, and they have shown great ability over the last couple years to find solid talent in later rounds.  The real issue here is the money being committed to a non-essential piece who could leave after any year of the deal, and the fact that Cash going against what he said a week ago has to make everybody a little more wary of how much we can believe what he says.  Don't get me wrong, I think Soriano is a great pitcher and I'm glad to have him in pinstripes for 2011.  I just don't think the added benefit that he will provide will be worth all the costs associated with bringing him in.

The Hitting Doctor Is Making House Calls

"He spent last week in Los Angeles working with outfielders Nick Swisher and Colin Curtis. Next week, he'll be in New York to work with first baseman Mark Teixeira.

He also plans on going to Miami to work with Alex Rodriguez and Jorge Posada before spring training starts." (courtesy of The Post)

Dr. Long is back!!  And he's getting an early start on the hitting rehab trail for 2011.  Dude has already seen Swishy and Colin Curtis, he's got plans to get to Tampa in a few weeks to work out Jeter's shit, and he's going to make time for Tex, The Horse, and Hip Hip in the next couple weeks.  On the one hand, I kinda feel bad for Long's family.  This guy eats, sleeps, breathes, and craps hitting.  He's a maniac!!  On the other hand, as a Yankee fan I love him for it and I would probably do anything he asked me to do if I ran into him at a bar short of sexual stuff (most sexual stuff, wink wink).

Seriously, now that the college football season is over, is there any way the Yankees can rent the big "College Gameday" bus and have Long travel all over the country in that thing to all these one-on-one hitting clinics he's having?  Shit, get a YES camera crew involved and you're looking at the next great YES reality show!  Fuck "Yankees On Deck" and "Centerstage," I would watch "WB Mason Presents: Kevin Long's Hit Parade" 25 hours a day, 8 days a goddamn week.  You could even have him stop at random indoor batting cages and Little League practices along the way to give free lessons/diagnosis to the kids there.

The best part about this story?  It makes for a perfect Photoshop opportunity.  POW!!

(Swanny Duckson comes through again!!)

Now The King Can Take His Throne

This slipped through the cracks yesterday, but adios, Trevor Hoffman, and congrats on a long and successful career.  And good riddance to you and your lame changeup, you Mariano Rivera wannabe.  Shit wasn't so unhittable once you lost the juice on the fastball, huh?

Your lameass saves record can finally come to a stop so Mo can plow through it and finish where he rightfully should, at the top of the all-time list.  So enjoy that 601 while it's still relevant, buddy.  This time next year, we'll either be talking about Mo bypassing it early in 2012 or discussing just how many saves Mo will finish with if he gets enough opportunities to rack up 42+ saves in 2011.  You just can't fuck with the G.O.A.T.

The Picture Starts To Become A Lot More Clear

Some comments from Cash on the status of Andy Pettitte today:

"I don't think he's determined if he's officially finished or not, but he's chosen at this stage at least not to start in 2011.  If that ever changes he'll call us. We're not going to hound him or bother him.  Andy's been very communicative on these issues and right now he's not in play, and if he does decide to play he'll play for us. "He's a Yankee from start to finish." (courtesy of the NY Daily News)

Well there you have it, folks.  It sounds like Andy may very well be done.  Cash may be trying to leave the door open here if Andy hasn't officially come out and said he's retired.  But if the guy isn't planning on starting the 2011 season (which means he hasn't started working out), then I think it's a safe bet that nothing is going to kick in once the season starts that will inspire him to start working out and come back some time in the mid- to late summer.

Call me naive, but in the back of my mind I still held this small glimmer of hope that Andy would wake up one morning after having some Yankee-related dream and realize he still had a little bit of an itch to play, enough of an itch that it would have been worth it to him to scratch it by playing one more year in 2011.

But if this is really it.  If he is really done, then I'm OK with his decision and every other Yankee fan should be too.  This man has given everything he's had to this organization, from the time they drafted him in 1991 to the time he stepped on the mound in Game 3 of the 2010 ALCS.  I could give a shit less about the years he spent with the Astros, Andy Pettitte has always been and will always be a Yankee.  Say what you want about the steroids, there is no denying that Andy Pettitte was a gamer, an ideal teammate, a professional, and a great Yankee.

Well, 1 Out of 2 Ain't Bad

 (Yes, Bud.  I'm actually going to heap a little bit of praise on you)

Any baseball fan knows that Bud Selig rarely ever says or does anything right, so the story in this link shouldn't come as a complete surprise.  Long story short, MLB has announced that they have no plans to expand the playoffs in 2011 and also have no plans to expand instant replay in 2011.

First the good part.  Good call on not expanding the playoffs, Bud.  3 division winners and 1 wild card is plenty and the rewards given to the division winners and competition inspired by the 1 wild card spot often make for entertaining baseball down the stretch, even if division titles are already locked up.  Adding more teams and more rounds to the postseason would be incredibly stupid.  For one, the baseball playoffs take too goddamn long as it is.  Sure, it helps teams like the Yankees stagger their best pitchers to avoid throwing A.J. Burnett out there at all costs, but it also creates no sense of flow, momentum, or drama to a series, even a good one.

Secondly, adding more teams serves only to reward mediocrity and lessen the competition and level of play down the stretch while punishing the division winners who would end up getting a first-round bye.  Baseball is not a sport where byes are as beneficial to success as they are in other sports.  Batters lose their timing sitting around for 7-10 days and pitchers can lose their feel for their stuff.  A division winner would be starting from scratch again in the 2nd round against a team that has just come off playing a series and still has their timing down.

If a supposed expansion plan of adding 2 teams to each league would have taken place last season, we would have had the Red Sox, White Sox, Cardinals, and Padres all playing in the first round.  Those teams deserved to be in the playoffs last year about as much as I deserve a nomination for "VH1 Hip Hip Honors."  Injuries or bad luck or whatever the fuck it was, those teams didn't win as many games as the other teams in their division and their league and they don't deserve to be rewarded for that (as much as MLB would love to have a way to shoehorn Boston into every postseason).  So kudos to MLB for not going this route for 2011.

On the other side of the coin, how the hell can MLB still insist of not expanding instant replay, even after another regular season and postseason of completely horrific umpiring?  You had missed home runs, missed fair/foul calls, and missed safe/out calls that could have very well changed the outcome of postseason games and you had poor Armando Galarraga getting fucked out of a perfect game because Jim Joyce is a moron.  Shit like this cannot be accepted as part of the game anymore!

When it comes to replay, baseball has the simplest, most black-and-white set of rules and calls to monitor.  There wouldn't need to be long delays and minutes of reviewing every angle of a play to determine fair or foul, safe or out, or home run or not home run.  10 seconds at the most would be all it would take to get the call right and ensure that the game plays out the way it is supposed to.  Umpires are human, they make mistakes, and that's OK.  Refs do it in the NFL, refs do it in the NBA, and refs do it in the NHL.  And guess what?  All 3 of those leagues have instant replay to make sure that human error doesn't affect the outcome of the game.  It's really quite simple:  every play, short of balls and strikes, should be open to instant replay and review in baseball, and until that is put into effect, MLB is going to continue to see games being affected and calls being made from everybody to expand.

So Bud, can you hear me, Bud?  Can you?  Take a clue from everybody else and expand the fucking replay rules.  It ain't that hard and it will make everyone's lives a little easier.  Players and managers will be happy, fans will be happy, and umpires won't have to sit in front of the media after they fuck up and dance around questions uncomfortably when they get grilled about fucking up.

Graham Stoneburner: Future Closer?

I saw this interesting nugget (copyright: Peter King) yesterday in Chad at LoHud's assorted Minor League notes post:

"Pretty much every scouting report you’ll ever read about Graham Stoneburner suggests his ultimate role could be as a reliever rather than a starter. The Yankees, though, will continue to use Stoneburner out of the rotation, and they believe that he could remain a starter if his changeup continues to develop. Stoneburner had a 2.41 ERA between Tampa and Charleston last season, and the Yankees won’t change his role until he pitches himself out of the rotation."

I'm already on the record as a huge Stoneburner fan and could really care less where he ends up pitching as long it's in pinstripes.  But the fact that the dude has arguably the coolest name ever makes me think that he could fit in better as a reliever.  I mean, "Graham Stoneburner."  That name screams closer.  It's the coolest closer name since The Duke in "Major League, " and that guy led the league in K/9 and hit batsmen.  And threw at his kid in a father-son game!  Pretty damn impressive if you ask me.

So if Stoneburner ends up becoming the closer of the future instead of a part of the rotation, that works for me.  He's already suited for it from a name perspective.  All we need to do now is figure out what his entrance music would be.  Do you focus on the "Stone-" aspect of his name or the "-Burner?"  What do you think?

(Just more awesome AB4AR-style analysis.  Scouting reports and secondary pitches be damned.  This kid has a cool name and that makes him a good closer prospect.  Beat that logic, Tim Kurkjian!)

Updated Yankees 2011 Rotation Candidate List

1) Andy Pettitte- enjoying Hawaiian vacations; doesn't know if he wants to come back

2) Jeremy Bonderman- flash in the pan; injury risk

3) Jeff Francis- coming off major injury; career numbers are "meh;" would be going from NL to AL

4) Freddy Garcia- dead arm; sucks

5) Kevin Millwood- washed up; completely sucks

6) Justin Duchscherer**- decent career numbers; can be starter or reliever; injury risk; pants pooping risk (because of the IBS)

      - indicates team no longer interested
** - indicates new addition to the list

Andrew Marchand Should Probably Stop Talking

 (Photo used courtesy of Getty Images)

 I know it's a slow time of year in Yankeeland, what with Andy still not officially making up his mind and the team following Cash's preaches for patience and not jumping to spend the extra money they have (Rafael Soriano, ZOMG!!!!!1!!111!!).  But this sadsack effort by Marchand to come up with something to write about on the ESPN:NY Yankee blog is laughable in its sweeping generalizations and complete disregard for the drastic differences between football and baseball.  Examine. 

"There are more similarities between Rex Ryan and Joe Girardi than differences. Both sincerely care about their players.. "

Pretty weak stretch for a comparison, Andy.  How many successful coaches can you name that DIDN'T care about their players? 

"... Both seem very true to their families. Both are consumed by the end result."

And there ends the list of similarities.  Now for some differences.  One is fat, the other is slender.  One is loud and boisterous, the other is quiet and calm.  One has braces, the other doesn't.  One is a former professional player, the other isn't.  One has been a part of multiple championship-winning teams, the other hasn't.  One likes to videotape his wife in foot fetish videos, the other would rather study his massive match up binder.  So there goes Marchand's theory. 

"It's how they get to the end result is where a dash of Rex could help Girardi. Ryan looks as if he is having the time of his life as the pressure mounts, while Girardi appears as if he is aging like a President.

At the end of last year, Girardi basically admitted it, saying during the pennant race that it was work, not fun. It shows."

Ummm, it WAS work.  Managing the team is Girardi's job, a job he takes very seriously.  And the Yankees were in the running for a division title right down to the last games of the season.  Ryan and the Jets haven't had to worry about a division title or even a playoff berth for weeks.  It was all settled by the Patriots' dominance and the rest of the AFC's suckiness. 

"It is not a terrible thing."

So then why the fuck are you bringing it up in comparison to another guy who coaches a completely different sport?  Not only is it not terrible, it's not even bad. 

"The reason he [Girardi] has achieved so much in his post-playing career is because of his intensity to detail. He studies numbers and charts probably as much or more than any manager in the game. He is always looking to improve how he does his job and, in turn, the Yankees. To his credit, he is very open-minded to change."

So let's see.  A guy who is generally regarded as one of the hardest-working managers in the game, a trait that has gotten him the job he currently holds as the manager of the most famous team in sports history, and who is also open to change and has shown an ability to change and loosen up in the past, and has used all of this to bring his team to one world championship and one ALCS appearance in consecutive seasons should try to be like somebody else?  Am I the only one that sees how stupid this is???  

"He can learn from Rex. He doesn't need to say that it is "personal" with the Red Sox. (Though, Joe, that would be fun, if you did.) But if he could find a way to ride the wave of New York and the enormity of the Yankees the way Rex has, he would be a better, more relaxed manager."

Wow!  Just... wow.  First of all, the "wave of New York" is far bigger for the Yankees than it is for the Jets.  That's like comparing the biggest waves at Maverick to a little kid throwing a skim board across the beach during low tide.  When you look at what he has already done and how he's handled the "wave" since becoming manager, there is no way you can say Joe has done a bad job. 

"Would this intangible translate into the translate into the tangible, more victories and more October success. That is impossible to say."

I'll gloss over the fact that Marchand doesn't even use a question mark to finish a sentence in which he is clearly asking a question and just say that no, Joe Girardi acting like Rex Ryan for the entirety of a 162-game Major League Baseball season would not translate to more success for the Yankees.  That act would grow tired in the media over that time period, tired in the clubhouse amongst a team of consummate veteran professionals who take what they do very seriously, and tired for the fanbase of the team that expects just as much success and professionalism as the team itself does.

What Marchand seems to not understand is that football and baseball are 2 completely different sports that require 2 completely different types of head coaches.  Football is a sport based on intensity, emotion, and constant violent physical contact.  That's not to say that there isn't thought and strategy involved and that patience and intelligence are not important to possess, but at it's core it is about the previous things I described.  A football coach needs to be able to draw upon these things to inspire his team and get them to play to their potential and build up that energy and intensity over a period of a week when it all culminates each Sunday.  This is why Ryan is so successful, because he is a loud, energetic guy who uses that energy to get the most of his team each and every week.  He is not the laid back, relaxed, Spiccoli-type that Marchand portrays him to be in this post, he is an intense motherfucker.

Baseball, on the other, is, at its core, a game of patience, strategy, and focus, and all 3 of those things have to be consistently done during the course of multiple games a week for multiple weeks a year.  Players cannot afford to be overly emotional, for better or worse, because there is another game to be played the next day and they have to re-focus their attention to that.  As such, baseball managers needs to be able to keep their players focused, calm, and ready for the next set of challenges.  Constantly blasting players with "rah-rah" speeches and motivational videos and shit like that distracts them for focusing on the small details that define the line between success and failure in baseball.  Joe Girardi excels at all of these things, sometimes to a fault (see: consulting the match up binder too much), but his makeup and approach to managing suits the sport he manages, just like Ryan's does.

Joe Girardi would not be a successful football coach with his personality, and likewise Rex Ryan as a baseball manager.  Each is perfectly suited to coach the sport he does, and the success each has had coaching his respective team is a testament to that fact.  To suggest that one should be more like the other in order to be more successful or for his team to be more successful is irresponsible, idiotic, and downright lazy as a writer.  I mean, Jesus Christ, Andrew, if the day is that slow that you have to write crap like this, just bite the bullet and throw up some links like I do.

Badassness 101

 (Photos courtesy of The AP)

That is the statue that was unveiled outside of Steinbrenner Field in Tampa last week and not only is it the coolest-looking honorary statue in the history of sports just for the way it looks, it has heaps of added badassery thanks to the inclusion of a championship ring on The Boss' left hand.

What a perfect way to honor Steinbrenner and capture what he was all about.  The guy didn't give a fuck what anybody thought about him or his practices, he just wanted to win.  And to include a reminder of that goal in the statue is pretty cool indeed.  Not to mention that the statue itself actually looks like him, unlike the Michael Jordan one outside the United Center or the Bobby Orr one in Boston.

Even in death, The Boss still kicks more ass than just about anybody.

Biggest Weekend News: Andruw Jones The New 4th Outfielder?

I don't remember where I read it, but I remember seeing something about the Yankees "starting talks" with Andruw Jones about joining the team to become the 4th OF and fill the void left by Marcus Thames most likely going to Japan to become the new Mr. Baseball (minus the awesome Selleck mustache).

For a guy who seems to be a shell of his former self, I actually think Jones is an ideal candidate for the Yankees 4th OF spot in 2011.  Nothing jumps out at you initially when you look over his 2010 numbers, but notice that he managed to get an .827 OPS out of a .230 BA, a sign of both patience and power at the plate, 2 things that the Yankees would both want and need out of their bench.  Jones' tripleslash jumps to .256/.373/.558 against lefties last season, another gap the Yankees need filled and another one that Jones should be able to do just as well, if not better, than Thames did last season.  Factor in that Jones is still a very competent defensive player in the outfield and not an abortion like Thames was, and there is really no downside to bringing Jones into the fold.

It's no secret that the Yankee outfield is set with Swish, Gardy, and C-Grand.  They are all productive bats in their own way and combine to make one of the best defensive outfields in baseball.  But all 3 of them missed some time with injuries last season, and it would be nice to be able to plug in one guy and feel confident that he can do the job should somebody go down for some time instead of having to play Russian Roulette with Triple-A guys like last year.

He might not be the all-world center fielder he used to be, and he might be a bit more pudgy than we remember from his Atlanta Brave days, but Andruw Jones is still an above-average outfielder who could play right, left, a/o center very easily.  And he's clearly the lefty-mashing bench bat that the Yankees would like to have available off the bench.  He had a limited role in Chicago last season so bitching about playing time wouldn't be an issue.  As it becomes more and more likely that Andy isn't returning, the Yankees still have plenty of money to burn.  If they use some of it to sign Andruw Jones, count me in as one of the people who will applaud the move.

Cash Has Spoken!

“I will not lose our No. 1 draft pick.  I would have for Cliff Lee. I won’t lose our No. 1 draft pick for anyone else.” (via LoHud)

Goddamn right, Cash!  You let them haters know what's up! 

Seriously, though.  Anybody who really wants the Yankees to sign Soriano or thinks they have to is a fucking moron.  Sure the dude is really good, but he's not filling a gaping hole in the roster.  Would it be nice to have him as the 8th inning guy and let D-Rob and Joba and the rest of the 'pen tear up the 6th and 7th innings as needed?  Sure.  Is not having Soriano as the 8th inning guy going to completely cripple the team and have them finish 83-79 as a result?  Of course not.  Cliff Lee was a necessity because of the holes in the rotation.  Soriano is a luxury.  You don't give up 1st round picks in a stacked draft for a luxury.

Come on, people.  Drink some reality potion.  And trust in Cash.  Dude can scale down the sides of buildings with the best of them.  He knows what he's doing.

Friday Afternoon Linkapalooza

There isn't much going on today in Yankeeland and I'm not feeling all that clever or creative right now, so once again we'll take a look at the stuff out there that's much much better than what I'm doing.

- Steve S. at TYU compares the Yankee and Red Sox lineup position by position.  As any sane person who watches baseball would know, the Yankee lineup looks just as good, if not a little better, than that of Boston, owners of the supposed best lineup EVAAAHHHH after signing Crawford and A-Gon.  And that's not even factoring in The Almighty...

- Gary Wallace at NoMaas has his 2 breakout stars for 2011 in the Minors picked out.  I'm not gonna lie, I didn't have either of the 2 guys he mentioned on my radar, but if they progress like Gary thinks they can then it just means a more jam-packed farm system and I'm more than OK with that.

- Emma Span at Bronx Banter has a quick little blurb on the possibility of Gary Sheffield coming back with the Rays.  I find Sheff to be wildly entertaining in his craziness, so that's fun news for me.

- Ben Kabak at RAB discusses the most important factor in the potential signing of Rafael Soriano a/o Johnny Damon, the Scott Boras Factor.  How I managed to not consider that factor is beyond me.  But since the Yanks are saying they're only interested in Soriano at the right price, I think it's safe to say he won't end up in pinstripes with Scotty B as his agent.

- Last but not least, Bob Klapisch at The Record talks about the potential effect the pending Roger Clemens trial might have on Andy Pettitte's decision to retire or return.  As the key witness in the case, Pettitte will be in the spotlight just as much as Clemens, so that factor is definitely worth considering.  Good call, Bob.

Or So???

According to Heyman's Twitter, the Yanks are willing to give Andy $12-13 mil to come back for 2011.

And Heyman has the audacity to compare Andy to Favre in that tweet??  Are you shitting me?  Am I living in bizarro world?  What the fuck is going on here?

The Yankees are staring down the barrel of Sergio Mitre or the previously-mentioned pile of free agent shit as their 5th starter heading into the 2011 season and they are really trying to lowball Andy on a 1-year deal??

If it were me, I would be offering him exclusive naming rights to the ad space on the right field wall, an iPad 5 and iPhone 6 (even though they haven't been invented yet), and a portion of the concession profits from each home game to get him to come back this season.  Let's not forget that in addition to Mitre, the Yanks are right now counting on A.J. Burnett for major contributions in 2011.  If Andy Pettitte tells you he wants Hank and Hal to personally inject him in the ass with HGH next season every Wednesday morning during every week of the regular season in addition to his salary, you fucking make that deal.  I don't give a fuck if the dude is only good for 15 starts next season, those 15 will still be better than any 15 the Yanks will get from any of their other current options.

Of course this could just be the beer talking.  But it makes perfect sense to me.

Andy Pettitte > Francis, Garcia, Bonderman, and Millwood on their combined best day.

Another Crummy Pitching Option Surfaces

Thanks, Jon Heyman.  Thanks for bringing my lunch back up to the back of my throat.

So this is what it's come to, huh?  Freddy Garcia, Jeff Francis, Jeremy Bonderman, and now Kevin Fucking Millwood?  Jesus Christ.

Jeff Goldblum, your thoughts?

A Quick HOF Post

You know it's Yankees, the whole Yankees, and nothing but the Yankees here at AB4AR (with a little Sawx and Mets bashing mixed in for flavor), but I have to take a quick minute to congratulate Bert Blyleven on finally making it to the Hall of Fame today, an accomplishment that should have taken place years ago.  He wasn't a Yankee, but any guy that can rock this t-shirt in the clubhouse...

..  and rocks multiple "fucks" live on the air is A-OK in my book.

P.S.- Donnie Baseball got 79 votes today and Tino got 6.  There we go, back to the Yankees.

Define "Interest"

"The New York Yankees have shown interest in free-agent starter Jeremy Bonderman, a major-league source told FOXSports.com." (via John Morosi)

I think I just died a little inside.

Offseason Space Filler Post: Hey, Remember When... ?

Hey, remember when Charlie Hayes caught the pop up to win the '96 World Series?  That was sweet.

Hey, remember when the Yanks and Orioles had that huge brawl in '98 after Benitez hit Tino with that fastball and Graeme Lloyd and Straw were completely losing their shit trying to go after Benitez?  That was fucking awesome.

Hey, remember when Tino yanked that 2-run homer off Byung-Hyun Kim in the 9th inning of Game 4 in the 2001 World Series?  That was incredible.

Hey, remember Jeter's homer the next inning?  Even more incredible.

Hey, remember the look on Kim's face when he gave up the game-tying homer to Brosius the next night?  That was funny.

Hey, remember some of the bombs Soriano used to hit back when he was a Yankee and didn't suck?  They were amazing.

Hey, remember The Flip?  That was nuts.

Hey, remember when Jeter dove into the stands?  That was insane!

Hey, remember when Boone smashed that home run off of Wakefield?  That was the shit.

Hey, remember A-Rod's 2-run homer off Joe Nathan in the 9th inning of Game 2?  That was clutch.

Hey, remember when Damon stole 2nd in the '09 World Series?  That was smart.

Hey, remember the goosebumps you get every time you're at The Stadium and the opening chords to "Enter Sandman" kick in?  Those are great.

Hey, remember all the great memories you have from watching the Yankees over the years.  Those are unforgettable.  And they're something that not a lot of other baseball fans have.