Somebody Get Ian O'Conner A Paddle...

(Sweet shirt, bro.  Courtesy of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing)

... Because he's fixin' to dish out a written spanking to Alex Rodriguez.  We've been having some fun with the early MSM outcry in response to the latest A-Rod PED story on the AB4AR Facebook Page today, and for my money Ian O'Conner's piece from yesterday takes the cake.  It's a horrifically brilliant combination of moral grandstanding, lazy logic, self-disagreement and contradiction, and regurgitated attempts to state what is already known.  In short, it's a typical "write it as quickly as possible and get it posted so we can get pageviews" ESPN NY Yankee post.

Lowlights after the jump...

Checking In With Wally Matthews

If this offseason were "Inception," we'd all be in limbo right now.  Just an endless string of nothingness.  The biggest news in Yankeeland yesterday was that Scott Hairston signed with the Chicago Cubs for 2 years.  Second biggest story- the Yanks are apparently not interested in free agent catcher George Kottaras even though he makes a a lot of sense for them.  That's how boring it is right now.  The biggest Yankee-related story didn't even involve the Yankees, and both of the biggest stories revolved around them doing nothing.  Hachi machi, that's bad.

But fear not, Yankee fans.  Because Wally Matthews is kicking off his countdown to Spring Training, and he's doing it as only Wally Matthews can.  By trolling the crap out of Alex Rodriguez.  I wish I was kidding.

Wallace Matthews Should Probably Stop Talking Part II: HOF Edition

It's been a while since I've had the pleasure (displeasure?) of ripping the ESPN NY crew for their blatant stupidity and shameless trolling for pageviews, and even longer since I've done it to Wallace Matthews.  Luckily for me he was generous enough to throw his hat in the moral ivory tower ring that everybody is clamoring to get into in regards to this year's Baseball HOF voting.

By the time you get a chance to read this post, this year's HOF class will have been announced, and it's almost certain that nobody will be inducted, certainly not anybody from the large group of first-time eligible players from the "Steroids Era."  Everybody knows who the names are, and anybody with half a brain knows that guys like Bonds and Clemens should be in regardless of their PED connections.  Not old Wally, though.  He's using this year's vote as a way to teach a lesson to those players and pretty much all of us about morality and how that's the most important criterion for determining HOF worth.  The whole steaming pile of garbage can be found here, and after the jump are the lowlights.

Ian O'Conner Should Probably Stop Talking

(Joba just minutes before his death.  Courtesy of Getty Images)

I regret to inform everyone that Joba Chamberlain, 27-year-old relief pitcher for the New York Yankees has died.  After a long battle with rehab from Tommy John Surgery and surgery to repair a severely dislocated ankle, Mr. Chamberlain passed away yesterday afternoon in his first attempt to make a comeback as a relief pitcher.

At least that's what Ian O'Conner wants you to think.  In its latest round of blatant trolling for comments and shameless bullshit writing strictly for pageviews, ESPN NY's O'Conner penned this disasterpiece today burying Joba, his future, his past, and pretty much his entire professional baseball existence after Joba's first outing on a Yankee mound yesterday didn't go so smoothly.  I expect this kind of garbage from the Wallaces Matthews and Andrews Marchand of the world, but I've never read anything this asinine from O'Conner.  Maybe I just didn't notice before, or maybe I was just lucky enough to not be exposed to anything else he's written that's this bad as part of my conscious effort to avoid all things ESPN-related when it comes to covering the Yankees, but this was impossible to miss.

As usual, I invite anybody who hasn't already read the story, and is a big fan of literary self-torture, to check it out in its entirety.  If you have enough intelligence to know that's a horrible idea, you can check out the lowlights and my comments after the jump.