Sunday, January 10, 2010

Bring Out The Meat Wagon



WEEE-OOO, WEEE-OOO, WEEE-OOO!!!!  After yesterday's game, the Huskies are the family rolling around on the ground burning alive and us fans are the paramedics standing there going "Oh my god!"  It was the perfect microcosm for what this team is and how this season is going to play out.  Considering I made my pick for UConn to go 22-6 and finish 3rd in the Big East and they have yet to play Syracuse, West Virginia, and Villanova in the conference, you can pretty much take my prediction and flush it down the toilet like the big piece of shit that it is.

Yesterday was a classic tale of 2 halfs, both of which showcased the 2 versions of the UConn team that everybody is used to seeing.  In the first half there was ball movement and player movement on offense; guys were working the defense and finding the open man; guys were knocking down open shots; there was tough defense and great rebounding, keeping the ball out of Greg Monroe's hands, keeping a hand in the shooters' faces, and not giving up second chances on the offensive glass; and the transition game was flat-out running Georgetown off the floor.  The Huskies were looking to push after every steal, every block, and every rebound, and showed that they were the much quicker, more athletic basketball team.

Stanley Robinson epitomized the way the team played in the first by being the catalyst for all the good things they did.  He was everywhere: slashing to the hoop for alley-oop and putback dunks, knocking down 3-pointers, playing great man-on-man and help defense, and grabbing big rebounds to start fast breaks.  They way he played in the first half, you would think he's a top-5 lottery pick this summer.

In the second half there was none of that.  Shots stopped falling; players stopped cutting and moving the ball; Kemba Walker went from running the offense to running around like a guy whose head was on fire; the defense broke down and got beaten so badly off the dribble that even Rihanna cringed at the sight of it; nobody helped when guys did penetrate the lane and nobody rotated to open shooters; the rebounding broke down and the Hoyas got many more second chances on possessions when they didn't make shots (which were few and far between).  Basically everybody pussed out when they realized the Hoyas weren't going to lie down and die and nobody had the balls to bring the team together and get re-focused.  And to top it all off, just so we could all feel like we had seen this before, the Huskies were horrid from the line, clanging over half their FT attempts.

Much like the first half, Stanley Robinson was the perfect representation of how shitty UConn played in the second half.  After exploding for 12 and 7 in the first half, he finished with just 16 and 8, completely disappearing offensively and becoming a human turnstile defensively, as he continued to go under picks to give Austin Freeman open looks.  As usual, when the going got tough, Stanley got going...to nowhere.  Instead of stepping up like a senior should, he shrank into the background and watched his team collapse around him. 

Sure it didn't help that Kemba Walker ran the offense like Isaiah Thomas when he froze out Jordan in the All-Star Game, but as a senior Stanley needs to call for the ball, demand it, and find ways to get it in his hands when his teammates are failing in that aspect.  Instead he sulked around the court like a zombie and when he did the get ball, his shot inexplicably became flatter than 10-year-old tits, bouncing off the rim so violently that I was concerned for the safety of the Georgetown players trying to catch the rebounds.  After watching him play in the 2nd half, a scout with any sense wouldn't even consider signing Sticks to a D-League contract.

The most maddening thing about this game was that it still leaves everybody wondering which team is the REAL UConn Huskies.  Are they the run-and-gun, athletic-as-fuck team who can defend anybody and then turn turnovers and bad shots into fast break layups and open transition 3-pointers in the blink of an eye?  Or are they the team that folds when their opponent goes on a run, forgets to play defense and rebound in critical moments, and can't run a good half-court set or make 2 free throws to save their lives?

It's halfway through the season and this team still has no identity.  There has been no noticeable change or improvement in the team's attitude, approach, or execution.  You'd like to think the players would take it upon themselves to get better and fix their mistakes, but that clearly isn't going to happen with this team because there are no leaders, so the responsibility and blame has to fall on the coach.

I love Jim Calhoun, don't get me wrong, but his 'yank guys constantly for the smallest mistakes even though that sometimes leaves you with a crappy lineup on the floor,' and 'sit or stand with your arms crossed and a vanilla look on your face while your team completely self-destructs'-acts are starting to get a little old.  As the head coach, he's supposed to have his team prepared for each game, but each game this team looks just as clueless as the last.  They can't figure out how to work the ball and get open shots against a zone, and their man-to-man offense still consists mostly of some combination of Kemba, Dyson, and Sticks swinging the ball around the perimeter and then Walker (who, by the way, is no longer Black Jesus) or Dyson driving aimlessly to the hoop for a contested layup or runner.  There's no entry into the post, no inside-outside game, no drive and dish, no give and go.  WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WORKING ON IN PRACTICE?!?!?!?!  Worst of all, when everybody starts to fall apart mentally, Calhoun is nowhere to be found to pick up the pieces and get them back together before the game slips away from them.

Calhoun needs to wake the fuck up and realize that there aren't any Ray Allens or Khalid El-Amins or Emeka Okafors on this team.  These kids aren't tough, they aren't smart, and they aren't mature; they NEED to be coached, need to have everything explained and diagrammed for them, and need to have their hands held and fragile egos stroked at all times.  It's the coach's job to recognize what he has in front of him and what he has to do to maximize that talent and potential, and right now Jimbo is doing a shit job at that.  He needs to roll up his sleeves, loosen the tie, and do some fucking work with these guys or this team is going to continue down the path it's put itself on after yesterday, and that's a path to nowhere.

Friday, January 8, 2010

AB4AR's NFL Wild Card Weekend Picks



As promised, here are the 4 winners you can take to the bank this weekend:

NY Jets @ Cincinnati- Line: Bengals by 2.5

So the Jets have gone from Super Bowl contender to being a few years away to being a bad team to being a good team who can compete for a playoffs spot to a team that "still isn't ready" to now the trendy pick to make noise in the AFC all in the span of 4 months.  And to make things even sillier, that "serious threat" status they have now comes on the heels of getting 2 games handed to them by the Colts and the same Bengals they beat last week.

Sure the Bengals tried in the first half and still got their shit pushed in, but the bottom line is they had nothing to play for, they knew it, and they knew the Jets did, so they eased up and let things play out.  Now they have almost become the forgotten team despite having a running game and defense just as strong as that of the Jets. 

The major advantage Cincy does have is in the QB spot, and in today's NFL that means more than having a big-time RB.  Carson Palmer has the experience and the smarts to win a game for you in the playoffs; Mark Sanchez does not.  Period.  The running game and defense will cancel each other and Palmer will pull a Shooter McGavin on Sanchez, showing him how we do things in the pros, and that will be the difference.

The Pick: Bengals 24 Jets 10

Philadelphia @ Dallas- Line: Cowboys by 4

Dallas seems to be peaking while the Eagles were stru-ggl-ing last week in a game that held big ramifications.  Finally, after countless postseason fuck-ups, Tony Romo appears poised to prove he can perform well and win in the postseason and finally earn his spot in the top tier of NFL QBs that so many analysts are dying to put him in.

That being said, Dallas' inability to step up in big games over the past decade does linger in the back of one's mind like a bad fart in an elevator.  Their secondary is due for a torching, Roy Williams flat-out sucks at football, and Romo is the same guy who couldn't get a hold down on an extra point and has never shown a consistent ability to hold onto the ball or complete passes to guys in the same jersey he has on in the playoffs.

After getting hacked up last week, expect the Eagles' D to be bringing the heat against Romo and looking to force turnovers while their offense looks to get back on track and test the Dallas secondary with their bevy of burners at WR.  McNabb and DeSean Jackson will hook up for 2 TDs and a late Romo pick will kill a Dallas comeback and clinch a win for Philly in an exciting game.

The Pick: Eagles 33 Cowboys 27

Baltimore @ New England- Line: Pats by 3

Baltimore was once again a trendy preseason pick to make the Super Bowl out of the AFC and once again failed to deliver on that hype despite having a solid O-line, multi-talented RB, big-armed QB coming into a second season in his system, and a still respectable defense.  The fact is, they just haven't been able to put it all together this season and every group on that team has faltered at one point or another.  Not exactly the recipe for a first-round upset.

The Pats, despite losing Wes Welker last week, are still a more talented team and have enough weapons in their offensive arsenal to do what they want to do.  Add to that the fact that they will be getting Vince Wilfork and Ty Warren back to anchor the D-line and they have the evil genius Bill Belichick coaching them, and the Pats should be able to handle the Ravens easily on Sunday, using Welker's absence as motivation.  Expect Tom Brady to carve up the Ravens like Bernard Pollard carved up his knee last year.

The Pick: Patriots 29 Ravens 16

Green Bay @ Arizona- Line: Even

Arizona was another team that took the week off last week, but as their season has shown, they are the team that can least afford to do that.  They have looked great in beating up on the Vikings and absolutely pathetic in getting beaten by the 49ers and have done nothing to earn some of the sleeper praise they are getting from people.  The week off combined with the potential absense of Anquan Boldin shouldn't make Cardinal fans feel warm and cozy about their offense going into the game.

Since falling to 4-4, the Packers have been hitting on all cylinders the last couple months.  The defense finally got a good grasp of the 3-4 and Aaron Kampman's injury proved to be a blessing in disguise as it allowed for Clay Matthews to spend more time on the field where he belongs.  He should be running wild all day on Sunday and there isn't a chance in hell that Kurt Warner is going to be able to avoid his pressure.

Boldin being on the sideline while Charles Woodson is on the field should be a huge difference maker as it will allow Woodson to focus solely on Larry Fitzgerald.  Aaron Rodgers will be looking to expose the injuries in the Arizona secondary and connect on multiple deep shots to Jennings and Driver.  The Packers will make more plays and fewer mistakes than the Jekyll-and-Hyde Cardinals and advance.  (No homerism in that pick at all)

The Pick: Packers 31 Cardinals 20

Bidding Adieu To Randy Johnson



I know it's a bit late, but I just wanted to pay my respects to the recently retired Randy Johnson.

You had a great career, buddy. Certainly Hall of Fame-worthy. But probably more than anybody else, you symbolized what was wrong with the Yankees in the mid-2000s. I, for one, didn't crack a smile when you came into town but was beyond ecstatic when you left.
 
So adios, big fella, and don't worry; you won't ever have to deal with anybody getting in your face or talking back to you ever again.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Jonathan Papelbon Douchebag-ness 101

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Wednesday, January 6, 2010

All Quiet On The Cashman Front


Bay has been signed; Holliday has been signed.

Not a peep about where the Johnny Damon negotiations stand.

Even less of a peep about whether or not the Yanks are committed to Brett Gardner as the everyday left- or centerfielder next year.

Hinske heading to Atlanta, Hairston still in free agent purgatory, and the bench still looking quite bare as a result.

What is Cash up to? Better yet, is he still alive? Dude must have had one hell of a great Christmas/New Year's holiday because it's not like the Yankees to lay this low for this long in the offseason.

What's the next move, Cash? What's it going to be? And when are we going to find out? The suspense of not knowing who the leftfielder is for next season is giving me blue balls.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!



My computer got absolutely face-raped by a virus last night and basically can't do anything right now. I would be more pissed off if the virus wasn’t so Mariano Rivera-like in it's dominance; just a complete shutdown of my system. I'm hoping my IT buddy at work can bring it back to life, but if you don't see any new stuff or updates on here for a few days, that's why.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Red Sox Searching for Last Piece of Their Rebuilt Triple-A Infield

The Boston Red Sox remain quietly engaged in discussions for free-agent third baseman Adrian Beltre, according to an industry source.

The Beltre talks, expected to resume after the New Year, have been complicated by the voiding of the Mike Lowell trade to Texas.

The Sox remain engaged in discussions on Beltre, who is represented by agent Scott Boras, even though his signing could put them over the luxury tax threshold. The market for Beltre seems to have collapsed somewhat, the Red Sox thinking that maybe they can get him at a much more reasonable price than Beltre was originally seeking. In mid-December, Beltre was believed to be looking for a five-year deal worth $13 million-$16 million per season.

Beltre, who is widely regarded as one of the best defensive third basemen in the majors, hit .265 with eight homers and 44 RBIs for the Seattle Mariners last season. (story courtesy of The Worldwide Leader in Red Sox Fans)




I couldn't say it any better myself after reading this story when I got home from work today.  Once again Theo Epstein is just proving his genius over every other GM in the game by entertaining the thought of spending money on a former juicer who had his only productive offensive season in a contract year and since has had his play at the plate erode so dramatically that he's barely even an average MLB player anymore.  Never mind the fact that his team would be better off with Casey Kotchman at first and Youkilis back at 3rd, but Theo's still got Mike Lowell's rotting carcass on his hands and now he wants to continue to clog up the corner infield with MORE underachievers?  Brilliant, fucking brilliant.

And not for nothing, but how can you say you're "quietly engaged" with somebody when the story about that negotiation makes it to the top news link collection on the ESPN.com homepage and is the only story to be reported for MLB on the ESPN Bottom Line scroll?  I know ESPN is under the covers with Fraud Sox Nation, but if they were looking to keep this quiet, don't you think ESPN would help them in that effort rather than plaster the story all over their multiple media outlets?

And how shitty does it have to be to be Mike Lowell right now?  The Sox are so desperate to keep this guy off the field that they're seriously considering going over the luxury tax threshold for Adrian Fucking Beltre!!  And not only that, the fact that they couldn't trade Lowell is "complicating" their efforts to bring in Beltre.  It's like Lowell has a combination of H1N1, ebola, and rabies all at the same time.  Don't forget that despite his injury issues and the fact that he runs the bases like James Caan after he got hobbled in "Misery," Lowell still hit .290/.337/.474 with 17 HRs and 75 RBIs last year in just 119 games.  For the sake of comparison, Beltre hit .265/.304/.379 with 8 HRs and 44 RBIs in 111 games.  Who would you want on your team?

Hey Mike, if you're reading this. why not make like Nick Johnson and come back home to the Yankees where you got your start?  I doubt the Sox would make a trade with the Yanks since they're in such a desperate panic to catch up to them, but you're a vet; you've got some pull, make it happen.  I'm sure Joe could find a use for you: backup 3rd baseman, late-game pinch hitter off the bench, ball boy, something.  And if not, the stadium crew can cut a crawl space under the bench in the dugout and you can put your uniform on and hang out there and just come out when Joe tells you to.



BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AB4AR's Week 17 NFL Wrap-Up



Week 17 Recap

Buffalo 30 Indianapolis 7

Peyton Manning and the rest of the Colts starters didn't play very long, just long enough to get Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark 100 catches for the season. After that, they kicked back and thought about what could have been again while the Bills beat up on their reserves to the tune of 3 Ryan Fitzpatrick passing TDs on their way to what seems like their 17th 6-10 finish in a row. Resting or no resting, if you're the Colts and your lead rusher for a game is Mike Hart for 28 yards, you know you're in trouble.

Cleveland 23 Jacksonville 17

Cleveland completes the season on a 4-game winning streak after discovering the "Get the ball to Tucker"-style offense revolving around feeding the rock to Jerome Harrison and letting him do his thang. Harrison picked up 127 yards and a TD on 33 carries and Josh Cribbs made a case for starting QB next year as he ran one in from the Wildcat formation. Their strong finish could be enough to save Eric Mangini's job for next year, which of course guarantees a shitty start to next season.

Chicago 37 Detroit 23

Jay Cutler turned in his second consecutive unCutlerish performance to end the season with 276 yards, 4 TDs, and no picks as the Bears finished the season strong with a win over the Lions. Matt Forte even decided to show up after a 4-month sabbatical, running for 101 yards as da Bears helped complete another wildly unsuccessful season for the Lions. On the bad side, they came one win too many from securing the #1 pick in the 2010 draft, which means they lose out on the Suh Flu. On the good side, they don't have to worry about Matt Millen fucking up their first round pick this year.

San Francisco 28 St. Louis 6

The '9ers finish the season at .500 for the first time in ages behind the dynamic duo of Alex Smith (222-1) and Vernon Davis (6-89-1). Keith and the Rams offense was Null and void (kudos to me for the Rick Reilly-esque joke), gaining just 107 total yards against a less than dominating defense. St. Louis now moves to the war room where they can begin to construct their draft plan to boost their team up to 3 wins in 2010.

Pittsburgh 30 Miami 24

The Steelers got shut out of the playoffs despite the win yesterday, giving all the shitty teams that beat them this season a little extra fuzzy feeling in their stomachs. Roethlisberger threw for 220 yards and 3 TDs and Rashard Mendenhall solidified himself as the feature back for next year as the Steelers are left to wonder what went wrong. Miami might have to look for yet another QB in the offseason after Chad Henne left with a sore pussy/eye injury and Pat White got JACKED UP by Ike Taylor in the 4th quarter.

Minnesota 44 NY Giants 7

It was 31-0 at half, 44-0 midway through the 3rd, and could have been 60-0 by the end if the Vikes didn't remove everybody and their mothers from the game. To say the Giants laid down the last 2 weeks of the year would be an insult to NBA teams that tank every year in hopes of getting the first pick. Favre was 25-31-316 yards- 4 TDs and cut through the Giants' D like a Manson Family member's knife through Sharon Tate. After last week's walkthrough against the Panthers it became a foregone conclusion that Bill Sheridan was out in New York; after yesterday's game, Tom Coughlin could be right behind him.

Atlanta 20 Tampa Bay 10

Matt Ryan tossed for 223 yards and 2 TDs that helped the Falcons win as well as 2 picks that helped keep the Bucs in the game. Despite finishing a respectable 9-7, the Falcons are left to wonder what could have been as injuries to their major offensive players caused some problems in the middle of the season. The Bucs, on the other hand, don't have much to hand their hats on other than the fact that they beat the Saints and still have awesome-looking uniforms.

Carolina 23 New Orleans 10

New Orleans rested their starters with nothing to play for and treated us all to the comedic event that is a 39-year-old Mark Brunell playing QB. Brunell was as bad as you would expect him to be, tossing for just 102 yards and a pick. After 2 straight ineffective weeks and a third with the starters on the bench, the once mighty Saints' offense needs to make like Stella and get its groove back on the bye week while Carolina is set for next year with Matt Moore at QB and Jonathan Stewart (16-125-1) carrying the rock.

Houston 34 New England 27

Losing Wes Welker to multiple knee ligament tears in the first quarter was bad enough, but losing a game that they led 27-13 with 10 minutes to go is even worse for the Patriots and their playoff chances. Matt Schaub carved them up with 303 yards and 2 TDs and some guy named Arian Foster lit them up for 119 yards and 2 TDs on the ground while Tom Brady continued to look very ordinary in big game-deciding moments. Maybe it had something to do with Bernard Pollard; last year he wrecks Brady's knee, and yesterday he recovers a fumble for a TD early and picks off Brady late to set up the game-winning drive for the Texans.

Dallas 24 Philadelphia 0

That smell invading your nostrils is the big wet fart that the Eagles dropped yesterday when they had a chance to secure a first-round bye and just flat-out did not show up against the Cowboys. Tony Romo continued to not allow me to make fun of him by going 24-34-311 yards-2 TDs and leading Dallas to 474 total yards, more than doubling Philly's output of 228. With the way they're playing right now and the way the rest of the conference is playing, the Cowboys actually look like the best team in the NFC right now. That will only make their inevitable first-round meltdown next week that much funnier.

Kansas City 44 Denver 24

A fantasy footballer's dream, this game had a total of 1,036 yards between both clubs. Jamaal Charles ran for a team record 259 yards and 2 TDs for the Chiefs while Kyle Orton threw for 431 yards, 123 of it on 14 catches for Jabar Gaffney, for the Broncos. More critical than his yardage total, however, was Orton's 3 INTs, which helped the Chiefs pull away late and shovel the last bit of dirt on Denver's playoff hopes.

Baltimore 21 Oakland 13

Willis McGahee had a throwback night to before his knee first got destroyed in college last night, running for 167 yards and 3 TDs on just 16 carries. That's not just good, that's Bo Jackson-in Tecmo Super Bowl-good. Charlie Frye was good enough to keep the Raiders in the game (18-25-180-1), but in the least surprising storyline in NFL history, Jamarcus Russell came in to relieve an injured Frye and his 2 turnovers helped seal the Raiders (and probably Tom Cable's) fate. Too bad Vegas doesn't set prop bets for Russell's suckiness; otherwise I'd be writing this column from a beach in Maui getting blown by some hula girl right now.

Green Bay 33 Arizona 7

Aaron Rodgers was solid (21-26-235-1), and the defense was dominant (safety and a TD) for the Pack as they sent a message to the Cardinals with their win yesterday, that message being: "Our #1 guys can beat the shit out of your #2 guys and if you play your #2 guys next week in the Wild Card game we will fucking kill you." I doubt that message will carry over to next week, but you never know. Maybe Ken Whisenhunt will throw Matt Leinart out there for a few series just to change things up. Injuries to Charles Woodson and Anquan Boldin could factor big time into next week's game.

San Diego 23 Washington 20

When a team with nothing to play for's backups beat up on your starters, that's a sign that you suck and your coach is getting fucking fired. That was the case yesterday for the Redskins and to nobody's surprise today, Jim Zorn is already gone. Billy Volek will look to carry the momentum of his good performance (19-30-216-1) into next week's duties of making fake signals to Phillip Rivers and wearing his Chargers hat backwards.

Tennessee 17 Seattle 13

With their playoff chances dashed last week, the Titans focused all their efforts on getting Chris Johnson some records and it paid off. Johnson racked up 134 yards on 36 carries to become the latest member of the 2,000-yard-rushing club and scored the game winning TD, all but guaranteeing himself to be the first pick for me in my fantasy draft next year (yeah, my team sucked that bad that I have the #1 pick). Tennessee should be dangerous next year with Johnson in the backfield and Vince Young back under center for a whole year. Seattle probably won't be dangerous next year no matter who's under center or in the backfield.

NY Jets 37 Cincinnati 0

They didn't try too hard for too long, but when they did early the Bengals were still outclassed by the Jets yesterday, setting up a very interesting matchup for next weekend. The Jets ran at will all night, getting good yardage from every back except Freeman McNeil, and held Carson Palmer to 0 yards passing on 1-11 before he left the game. No word yet on whether or not Chad Ochocinco will be expedited from Revis Island before next week's game.


***Check back on Friday for my Wild Card Weekend Predictions. With the killer job I did on my MNF picks (11-6 for the season), I figured it was the least I could do to help people win a little more money in the playoffs. And with that in mind, we're picking against the spread for the postseason. Go big or go fucking home.***

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Happy Freakin' Day!


So UConn won their bowl game yesterday, dominating the Ole Ballsack and his gang of losers from South Carolina.

The UConn men's team pulled out an impressive 82-70 win over Notre Dame that included Stanley Robinson (22 pts., 16 boards) actually showing up in a big game for once, and even more shockingly, Charles Okwandu returning to the rotation and actually managing to score 10 points!!

Today, the Packers Snooki'd the shit out of the Cardinals and gave them a little taste of what next week's Wild Card game is going to be like.

And to top it all off, the New York Yankees are still the defending 27-time World Series champions.

How could it possibly get any better?

Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Fighting Lairds

Detroit Tigers catcher Gerald Laird and his younger brother, Yankees infield prospect Brandon Laird, were arrested following a brawl in the lounge area of Phoenix's NBA arena, according to police.

Phoenix police said Gerald Laird, 30, was cited for assault Wednesday night and 22-year-old Brandon Laird was cited for disorderly conduct. Police said the Lairds and a third man were arrested at U.S. Airways Arena after the fight during the Phoenix Suns-Boston Celtics game.

Police said arena security previously contacted the group of men about their loud behavior. Two of the men were allowed back into the lounge after a conversation with security, but a melee broke out shortly afterward and the Laird brothers allegedly assaulted the security guards.

Brandon Laird is considered one of the top infield prospects in the Yankees farm system and played for the Surprise Rafters in the Arizona Fall League this year. (story courtesy of the NY Post)



To hell with Dustin Pedroia; Brandon Laird DEFINES scrappiness!  Mixing it up with security guards at an NBA arena?  Hell yeah, kid.  You go get you some!

Just one more example of why the Yankees are the gold standard of sports organizations.  From the top of the organization to the bottom, they're fighting and scrapping and clawing and doing everything they possibly can to win.  Whether it's a spring training intrasquad game, Game 6 of the ALCS, or a dustup with U.S. Airways Arena security, the Yankees are in it to win it; no offseason here, folks.

It's probably this kind of dedication to offseason training that has gotten Laird to where he is as one of the team's top infield prospects.  While Jed Lowrie is at home nursing his injuries and plucking his eyebrows, Laird is thinking outside the box and getting some boxing in to boost his cardio and hand-eye coordination.  It's a story like this that really makes me feel confident that the Yankees will be able to fill the gap at SS left after Jeter retires.  So Boston can have their Dustin Pedroias and Marco Scutaros and call them "gritty" and "tough" just because they get their uniforms dirty diving for a hotshot through the hole for a basehit that they can't reach because they have crappy range.  I'll take Brandon Laird ringing in the New Year with a good old fashioned donnybrook 25 hours a day and 8 days a week.

20 bucks says the fight got started when Laird started booing the Celtics players and calling them a bunch of Boston pussies.  If that's the case then this kid deserves a spot on the 25-man roster now as far as I'm concerned.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!!

Happy 2010, motherfuckers!!!

Yeah so I'm 3 1/2 hours late, big fucking deal.  I've been drinking for 8 hours, what do you want from me?

Hope everybody's New Year celebration ended up looking something like this...



...And if it didn't, you have nobody to blame but yourself.

Happy New Year!!! Here's to 2010 being just as successful as 2009!

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Yankee Pitcher of the 2000s: Mariano Rivera



Just as sure as Derek Jeter was the player of the last decade for the Yankees, there's no doubt that Rivera was the pitcher of the decade.  If Jeter was the one constant in the revolving door that was the Yankee lineup then Rivera was the one defiant tree still standing through a swirling tornado of bullpen changeover, each season's staff looking almost nothing like that of the previous season.  Throughout the constant change and constant list of shitty setup men though, Rivera continued to quietly and ruthlessly go about his business, racking up hundreds of saves, shattered bats, and frustrated looks from those too helpless to master his cutter.

Over the past 10 years, Rivera's numbers look like this:

713.1 IP/ 548 H/ 137 BB/ 165 ER/ 669 K/ 397 Saves/ 2.08 ERA/ 0.96 WHIP

To call those numbers dominant would be the greatest understatement of the last decade this side of "George Bush didn't do such a great job as President."  Rivera was simply otherworldly in his brilliance, moving through what should be the prime and twilight of his career but somehow staying in his prime and extending it far beyond what any other pitcher can normally expect to do.  In a manner that goes even beyond Jeter's greatness, Rivera has become better and better at an age when most guys are moving into their 2nd or 3rd year of retirement and trying to get a job at ESPN.  And just like Jeter, Mo has always stepped his game up an extra level in the postseason.  I won't run through the complete stats for fear that I might cum my pants if I do, but over the past 10 years Rivera's playoff resume looks like this:

26 saves, 4-1 record, 0.94 ERA, 0.74 WHIP

To quote the great Ron Burgundy, "These numbers look good, I mean really good.  Hey everyone, come see how good these numbers look!"  That's about as close to unhittable as a pitcher can get in an era that has been dominated by hitters.  If you factor out the fluke broken bat hits in Game 7 of the 2001 World Series and the bang-bang play at 2nd on Dave Roberts' steal attempt in the 2004 ALCS, these numbers look even better and we're sitting here talking about a guy with a spotless playoff record over 10 years.

On top of the mind-blowing numbers, Rivera has put together a pretty impressive list of accomplishments for himself over the past decade. Observe.
  • 8 All-Star Game selections (no ER allowed in 5 appearances)
  • 9 Postseason appearances (MLB Postseason record for saves and ERA)
  • 4 World Series appearances; 2 World Series titles
  • 2003 ALCS MVP
  • 2-Time Saves Leader (2001, 2004)
  • 4-Time AL Relief Man Award (2001, 2004-2005, 2009)
  • 2nd pitcher ever to reach 500 saves
In addition to that, Rivera has racked up dozens upon dozens of MLB, AL, and Yankee pitching records, which can be found here.  Famed former ESPN analyst (and shameless Red Sox fan) Peter Gammons called Rivera the "Cy Young of the last 15 years" after the Yankees won the 2009 World Series, something that cannot be ignored coming from someone as well respected as Gammons and something that, when you really break it down, can't be argued even against all the other great pitchers of this era.

But again, just like with Jeter, it is not the stats that set Rivera apart as a special player, it is his approach and dedication to the game and the way he carries himself on and off the field that truly defines him.  Rivera prepares for each outing exactly the same, whether it is in April, May, September, or a World Series-clinching game in early November.  His conditioning is second to none and teammates have raved constantly about how he is the best athlete on the team.  He is, by all accounts, a great person and a great teammate and is always willing to help mentor young pitchers.  Guys practically line up to talk to him at All-Star weekend like giddy kids getting autographs during batting practice.  His mental approach when he's on the mound is one of an assassin; he is calm, cool, and confident without ever appearing even remotely cocky, and his expression never changes while he's warming up, on the mound, or after he leaves the game regardless of the situation or how good or bad his outing goes.  And for the better part of the last 10 years he has done all this with one... fucking... pitch.

When other pitchers are always fooling with new grips and new pressure points to get different spin or action on the ball to improve their effectiveness, Mo toes the rubber every time knowing exactly what he's going to throw and where he's going to throw it.  Mo's approach is the equivalent of the scene in "The Sandlot" when Ham the catcher calls out "here it comes.  The heater.  I dare you..." to the opposing batter and the kid strikes out anyway.  Every batter knows what's coming and are still helpless against it.  Jorge has admitted that he doesn't even call pitched any more when Mo is on the mound, just location.  Mo has broken so many bats that all those "Save Mother Nature"-organizations should be looking at him as cause for the depletion of the world's forests, and he's broken so many spirits that Dr. Phil could hold shows dedicated to helping guys recover from facing Rivera and go 3 straight months without having to do a re-run.

Every Yankee fan gets chills every time they're at the stadium and the opening chords of "Enter Sandman" hit.  It's the single greatest entrance in sports for anybody; you can feel the electricity in the air when it plays and the bullpen doors open to show this image:


Mo calmly trots out, throws his last few warmup pitches and then proceeds to mow down whatever 3 poor saps are unlucky enough to be the next 3 up that inning.  Every network that shows a Yankee game should be required to stay on the air as Mo enters and not cut to commercial until he starts throwing his warmup pitches.  I still can't figure out why YES hasn't figured this out yet because it is truly one of the coolest moments in sports.  How many other guys can you say that about when you're talking about their entrance being just as amazing as watching them play?

Mariano Rivera is to closers what Michael Jordan is to basketball, what Wayne Gretzky is to hockey, and what Bret Hart is to wrestling: The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.  He said after the World Series this year that he wants to play for 5 more years and no Yankee fan alive would ever think that is a bad thing.  Mo has aged like the finest of fine wines over the last 10 years and shows no signs of slowing down as he moves into his 40s.

In establishing himself as the best Yankee pitcher over the last 10 years and the best closer ever, Mo has also proven one more thing; in life there are 3 certainties: death, taxes, and Mariano Rivera.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Blech!



I don't even know what makes me feel more sick: the way UConn played tonight or the fact that they had the game taken from them at the end by the officials.  Both were equally stomach-churning.

Cincinnati 71 UConn 69.  This team isn't top 10-quality; it isn't even top 25-quality.  What a fucking travesty.

Yankee Player of the 2000s: Derek Jeter



This shouldn't come as a surprise to anybody as Jeter has used the last 10 years to cement his status as one of the greatest Yankees of all time and one of the most well-known, well-rounded, and well-respected baseball players of his generation.  His numbers over the last decade are incredible:

6,122 AB/ 1,940 H/ 1,088 R/ 316 2B/ 161 HR/ 727 RBI/ 219 SB/ .317 AVG./ .844 OPS

The stats that Jeter accumulated over the last 10 years are a testament not only to his greatness as a player, but also to his top physical conditioning and toughness that allowed him to play at a remarkably high level consistently for such a long time.  As other players that came up with Jeter or even after Jeter have watched their production fall off as they age, Jeter is still putting up some of the best numbers for his position. The 1,940 hits combined with what he racked up in the late 90s allowed Jeter to become the Yankees' all-time hits leader this past season and he will all but certainly join the 3,000-hit club some time in early 2011.  By the time he finally does retire, Jeter could approach 4,000 hits and will hold many more Yankee records.

In addition to his personal stats, Jeter's list of baseball awards  over the last 10 years is just as impressive:
  • 8 All-Star Game appearances (2000 All-Star Game MVP)
  • 9 Postseason appearances (All-time postseason hits leader)
  • 4 World Series appearances (2000, 2001, 2003, 2009)
  • 2 World Series titles (2000, 2009; 2000 World Series MVP)
  • 4-Time Gold Glove winner (2004-2006, 2009)
  • 4-Time Silver Slugger (2006-2009)
  • 2-Time Hank Aaron Award Winner (2006, 2009)
  • 2009 Roberto Clemente Award Winner
  • 2009 Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year
More than just his stats and awards though, it is the way Jeter has played the game that stands out the most over the last 10 years.  His career over the last decade is littered with memorable plays, from "The Flip" in 2001 to the dramatic home run in the 2001 World Series to "The Dive" into the stands in 2004.  And while it is Jeter's penchant for making his biggest plays in the biggest moments, "The Dive" is the perfect example of what makes Jeter special as a player.


That play right there took place on July 1, during an extra-inning game right smack in the middle of the regular season.  With as much baseball as there was to be played that year, it would be foolish for anybody to risk injury and bodily harm trying to catch a foul popup in a game that was essentially meaningless, but not for Jeter.  He cares just as much about winning a game in July as he does in October and it is that passion and desire that makes him special. 

Every game isn't just another game for Jeter; every game is important.  By this point everybody has heard the stories about Jeter never taking an at-bat off or always running hard to first or refusing to take days off even when he is legitimately injured, but the fact that you still keep hearing those stories is precisely why those stories are important.  After 14 seasons, Jeter still plays as hard as he did in his rookie year every time he steps on the field.  He cares about every pitch, every hit, every inning, and every game and has never differed in his approach since Day 1.  It is that approach that has allowed him to accomplish all that he has and build that list of awards above.

In a world where athletes and baseball players are looked at more for what they do wrong on or off the field, Jeter has been the one constant positive example of what an athlete should strive to be.  He remains the gold standard for professionalism and the countless heaps of praise that he receives from teammates, coaches, and opponents is proof of that.  He has gone from being underrated to overrated and back to underrated over the last 10 years in the eyes of the media and statisticians but his reputation amongst his peers has never changed and that is the truest test of just how great a player is.

Derek Jeter is synonymous with the Yankees and the "Yankee Way," and with Major League Baseball in general.  He, more than anybody, is the reason the Yankees have been able to maintain their consistent level of success in baseball over the last 10 years, the one constant in a revolving door of teammates and coaches.  Whatever happens throughout the remainder of his career is irrelevant; when you think back of the 2000s, Jeter belongs right at the top of the short list of players who come to mind as the greatest of this era.  In the 2000s Derek Jeter was the greatest Yankee player by far, and one of the greatest baseball players period.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Yankees: MLB's Team of the 2000s

So as the year winds down and we inevitably get force fed a million different "Best of the 2000s" collections from the various major sports outlets, you can pretty much take it to the bank that the majority of the focus is going to be on the Red Sox and their "dominance" over baseball over the past 10 years.  Most of that Red Sox sack tickling will be coming from the Worldwide Leader, but despite their over-the-top affinity for their Sox, when you really break it down there is no doubt that the New York Yankees were the team of the 2000s.  And it really wasn't even that close.

The easiest measuring stick in sports, of course, is wins.  Nothing defines team success more than winning and in the 2000s the Yankees were the biggest winners.  Over the course of the last 10 regular seasons, the Yankees accumulated 965 wins, 45 more than their closest competitor, Boston.  For the sake of comparison, here's how the top 5 biggest winners of the decade in MLB break down:

1) New York Yankees-  965
2) Boston Red Sox-       920
3) St. Louis Cardinals-  913
4) Los Angeles Angels- 900
5) Atlanta Braves-         892

2nd through 5th place are separated by less than 30 wins and yet the Yankees hold that 45-win margin over 2nd, a true testament to their consistency and overall dominance through the decade despite the constant influx of new players and personalities, the always glaring lack of starting pitching depth, and the never-ending pressure of playing in New York.

In racking up their 965 wins, the Yankees led their league in wins 5 times over the last 10 years.  Those 965 wins also represent 8 division titles and 9 playoff appearances over that span.  If winning is the ultimate measuring stick of team success, then there is no argument that can be made that the Yankees weren't the most successful team throughout the 2000s year in and year out.

But winning in the regular season means nothing if you can't back it up in the playoffs, and while ESPN would like you to think that the Red Sox torched the Yankees throughout the last decade and were the most successful playoff team because of their 2 World Series titles, that simply isn't true either.

In 2000, the Yankees started off the decade with this...



...and in 2009 they ended the decade with this...


The Yankees won just as many World Series titles as the Red Sox in the past decade, 2, which ties for the most in baseball over that span.  In addition to that, they made 2 more appearances in the Fall Classic in 2001 and 2003.  Now 2003 was a disaster and a perfect example of how important pitching is to winning in the postseason, but 2001 was a fluke win for Arizona and had the Yankees not been playing the infield in, we could erase that loss as one of the few blemishes on Mariano's record and be talking about winning title 29 next year instead of 28.  For the record, Boston has not appeared in any more World Series than the 2 they won.  And just for shits and gigs, the 2009 Yankees were the only team of the 2000s to win 100+ games in the regular season and win the World Series, the truest example over the last 10 years of the "best" team winning the championship.  How do ya like them apples, Tim Kurkjian?

Delving within each team over the past 10 years, you can also find countless All-Star appearances, Gold Gloves, Silver Slugger Awards, MVPs, Cy Youngs, MVP and Cy Young candidates, and league leaders in every statiscal category imaginable, a great representation of the high-quality of players the Yankees have put on the field.  Quite simply, the Yankees have had the biggest collection of talent on their teams over the last decade and that is because every player in baseball recognizes the prestige that comes with wearing the pinstripes and wants to play for the Yankees.

In addition to all their on-field team and individual success, the Yankees used the 2000s to establish themselves as a national and international landmark.  They set MLB attendance records, brought in big-name foreign free agents, and generated billions of dollars in revenue.  This expansion culminated in the creation of the YES Network in 2002, at the time making the Yankees the only sports organization to have their own dedicated TV network.  Today you can travel anywhere in the world and see Yankee hats and t-shirts; my trip to Germany last year is a testament to that as I saw just as many Yankee hats walking through downtown Dortmund as I did hats or shirts of the local Bundesliga soccer team.  The interlocking "NY" logo is one of the most recognizable on the planet and you just don't get to that point without being the best.

The Red Sox were a great organization over the 2000s, don't get me wrong.  But they were the flavor of the week, the trendy team to jump on board with after they finally got off the schnide in 2004 at the expense of the Yankees.  People will point to their ALCS comeback in 2004 as proof that they were better than the Yankees, but over the long haul of the decade, the numbers don't lie: the Yankees were a more consistent, dominant, successful team.  In the last year, the Yankees have re-established themselves as the team to beat in baseball and are positioned perfectly to continue their winning trend into the 2010s while their counterparts (Boston, LA, the Mets, etc.) still have holes to fill and gaps to bridge just to keep up.

Any way you look at it, the Yankees in the 2000s, just like in the 1990s, were the best team in Major League Baseball.  They have firmly entrenched themselves as the premiere organization in baseball as well as in American sports, and have shown that they are already committed to maintaining and enhancing that standing in the 2010s.  Long live the Empire!!




*** Check back tomorrow for AB4AR's Yankee Player of the Decade and Pitcher of the Decade***

Monday, December 28, 2009

AB4AR's Week 16 NFL Wrap-Up


Week 16 Recap

San Diego 42 Tennessee 17

The Chargers continued to roll through Decembers like Tiger Woods through the extras in a "Girls Gone Wild" tape with a one-sided destruction of the Titans on Christmas.  Darren Sproles and LT combined for 5 TDs and Vince Young threw, dropped, fumbled, kicked, and lost the ball all over the field, killing the Titans' playoff hopes in the process.  On the positive side for Tennessee, Chris Johnson galloped for 142 yards and a TD, giving him a real chance at a 2,000-yard season next week.

Atlanta 31 Buffalo 3

Matt Ryan was excellent, throwing for 250 yards and 3 TDs; Brian Brohm was not, throwing for just 149 yards and 2 INTs.  And that, ladies, and gentlemen, is all you need to know.  Roddy White benefited from Ryan's good game, racking up 8 catches, 139 yards, and 2 TDs, possibly earning himself a 2nd straight Pro Bowl invite in an otherwise lost season for the Falcons.  Let the Atlanta bandwagon for 2010 start filling up now.

Cincinnati 17 Kansas City 10

The Bengals rode Cedric Benson (29 carries, 133 yards) and a late Carson Palmer-to-Chad Johnson TD pass to victory over the Chiefs, securing the AFC North division in the process.  Now Cincy can spend the next week deciding whether or not they want to play their starters next week, beat the Jets, and make for super-entertaining sports radio in New York the following Monday from all the whining Jets fans, or rest everybody, let the Jets win, and then face them again in the opening round of the playoffs so they can beat them and create super-entertaining sports radio in New York from all the whining Jets fans.

Cleveland 23 Oakland 9

It took all season, but the Browns seem to have finally figured out a winning formula: give the ball to Jerome Harrison and let him do his thing (39-148-1), and tell everybody else to just stay the fuck out of the way.  You could say this is good news for Eric Mangini's job, but with Czar Holmgren coming in, it's a sure bet that he's going to clean house and Mangini will be forced to go back to South Park, Colorado to hang out with Kyle, Stan, and Kenny next season.

Green Bay 48 Seattle 10

The Pack used big plays on offense (423 total yards; 97 yards and 2 TDs from Ryan Grant), and terrible plays by Matt Hasselbeck (4 picks) to route the Seahawks and clinch a playoff berth yesterday.  The Packers seem to have finally gotten their offensive line issues figured out and will be a tough matchup for anybody in the NFC playoffs.  And if Charles Woodson and Clay Matthews don't win NFL Defensive Player and Defensive Rookie of the Year Awards, then the awards should be done away with.  But that might just be the Packer fan in me talking.

Houston 27 Miami 20

The Texans jumped out to a 27-0 halftime lead behind Matt Schaub's 247 passing yards, and then predictably shit the bed in the 2nd half as Miami almost came all the way back behind Chad Henne's gutsy performance and Schaub's Russell-like performance.  In the end, though, Houston did just enough to hold on for the win, keeping themselves slightly in the playoff hunt and cutting Miami's playoff throat in the process.  I almost wish Houston would make the playoffs just so we could all watch them melt down in their 1st-round matchup on a national stage.

New England 35 Jacksonville 7

It was a vintage 2007-ish Tom Brady performance, as he went 23-26 for 267 yards and 4 TDs in the Patriots' division-clinching win over the Jags.  Wes Welker did the heavy lifting with 13 catches for 138 yards, and Randy Moss reaped the benefits, catching 4 passes for just 45 yards but 3 of the catches for TDs.  New England looks to be hitting their stride at the right time, but the real test will be when they meet somebody on the road in the playoffs, if they make it that far.  I would comment on the Jags' performance yesterday, but I don't even remember them actually being on the field.

Tampa Bay 20 New Orleans 17 (OT)

After crusing to an early 17-0 lead, the Saints completely fell apart and then fell in overtime to a downright bad Tampa Bay team.  When Drew Brees goes 32-37, you should never lose, especially to the Bucs, and I'll come right out and say that this loss signals the end of the Saints as a serious contender for the title this year.  In the last few weeks, they have choked in big moments, not a good sign when you're heading to the playoffs as one of the big favorites.  Don't be surprised to see them lose in their first game in the postseason.  Good to see the Cadillac getting back in gear after almost 2 years in the shop, as he ran for 129 yards and a TD.

Carolina 41 NY Giants 9

In the last game at the old Giants Stadium, the G-Men sent it out in style, getting their candyasses kicked up and down the field for 4 quarters and almost certainly sealing Bill Sheridan and Tom Coughlin's fate for next year.  Jonathan Stewart run over, around, and through the defense for 209 yards and a TD, finally living up to the standards I set by making him my keeper pick in my fantasy league (hey, better late than never).  The Panthers might have also found their QB of the future, as Matt Moore once again outplayed a much more high-profile counterpart, going 15-20 for 171 yards and 3 TDs.

Pittsburgh 23 Baltimore 20

Ray Rice's monster 30-carry 144-yard effort was wasted by Joe Flacco, who once again gagged on it in a big moment, allowing the Steelers to keep their playoff hopes alive with a slim win yesterday.  That being said, Baltimore can still clinch with a win next week while the Steelers still need a lot of help, but it doesn't bode well for the Ravens' chances when their QB continues to spit the bit when the game is on the line.  They might want to work on incorporating the Wildcat this week so they can ensure that Ray Rice handles the ball in key drives and Flacco can sit on the sideline and breathe into a paper bag.

Arizona 31 St. Louis 10

The Cardinals cruised to their first 10-win season since the Byzantine Empire behind the 313 yards and 2 TDs from Kurt Warner and the complete lack of talent of the Rams.  With not much to play for next week, it will be interesting to see what approach Arizona takes with their starters, although playing against the Rams for 4 quarters is pretty much the equivalent of taking the week off so maybe they'll be OK.

San Francisco 20 Detroit 6

Frank Gore picked up 152 total yards and a TD on 32 touches, securing a 1,000-yard season and a win for the 49ers against the turnover-riddled Lions.  Drew Stanton threw 3 picks and lost a fumble for the Lions and was so bad that he made Daunte Culpepper's 7-12, 51 yard, 68.4 QB rating day look solid by comparison.  The 49ers will look to get back to .500 for the season next week; no word yet on what coach Mike Singletary will take off if they manage to win.

NY Jets 29 Indianapolis 15

Leading 15-10 in the 3rd quarter and with a chance to go up 12, Indy coach Jim Caldwell decided it was finally time to make a decision this season and it ended up costing his team the game and their perfect season.  He removed Peyton for Painter and the rest was history as the Jets proved they could beat up on a team's 2nd unit and got the win they needed to move back into the playoff driver's seat.  I don't want to sit here and debate if it was the right or wrong move, but the fact is, if Caldwell wanted to rest his guys, why wait until late in the 3rd quarter?  One more TD and you've probably got enough of a cushion to win, and as Herm Edwards taught us, YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!!!!!!!  Peyton looked none to happy to be on the sidelines for the loss and will probably not be inviting Caldwell to participate in his next commercial shoot.

Philadelphia 30 Denver 27

The Eagles dominated every aspect of the game except the TO margin and ended up making this game much closer than it should have been, despite McNabb's 322 yards and 3 TDs.  In what could be the most shocking moment of the NFL season thus far, Andy Reid managed to properly manage the last few minutes of the game, running the clock down as much as he could to allow David Akers to kick the game-winning field goal and leave the Broncos with no time to do anything.  Bravo, Andy.  Bravo indeed.

Dallas 17 Washington 0

Romo went 25-38-286-1 as the Cowboys did what they had to do to beat the Redskins and lock up a playoff berth.  It wasn't pretty and it sure wasn't watchable, but it got the job done.Jason Campbell made a case to keep his job next year as he not only threw for 199 yards, but led the 'Skins in rushing.  Granted that was with just 13 yards, but what are you gonna do?  The season can't end quickly enough for the Redskins and all those who are unfortunate enough to have to watch them on a weekly basis.


MNF Prediction

Minnesota 20 Chicago 10

In a battle of the overrated and severely overrated QBs, Brett Favre will do just enough to help his team not lose in the cold and manage to play nice with Brad Childress before he is removed late in the game so Tavaris Jackson can get some reps taking knees to run out the clock.  Jay Cutler will throw 3 picks and move that much closer to throwing 30 for the season, a number that a fellow gunslinger like Favre can truly appreciate.  Something tells me when this season is done, we'll see the both of them out on some remote field tossing the pigskin around in their Wrangler jeans and Hot Topic zip-up hoodies.

MNF Predictions for the Season (Winners): 11-5

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Something Else To Consider

Sure the major renovations to the lineup are nice, but has anybody considered how the Yankees plan to fill out their bench for next season?

Right now all we're looking at is Francisco Cervelli as the backup catcher, Ramiro Pena as the utility infielder, and Juan Miranda as the bench bat/emergency first baseman.  With Jerry Hairston and Eric Hinske both being free agents and so far not re-signed, the outfield is only 3-deep with Swish, C-Grand, and Brett Gardner.  I'm not even counting Freddy Guzman because the fact is he should only be on a Major League roster after the rosters expand to 40 in September.

So how are the Yankees planning on bulking up the bench for 2010?  One of the unsung keys to last season was the moves they made to bolster their lineup and give themselves multiple options for both starting lineups and late-game situational substitutions.

For starters, I would bring Hairston back; he can play all 3 outfield positions if need be as well as third base and his approach at the plate fits right into the Yankee mentality.  At this stage in his career he probably realizes he's only getting a chance to play every day on a shitty team and it makes more sense to him to stay in New York, contend for titles, and be remembered as a Luis Sojo/Chad Curtis type by diehard Yankee fans for years to come.

As for Hinske, for some reason I like the guy and wouldn't mind seeing him in pinstripes next year, but at the same time I'm OK if he leaves.  He can play multiple positions but none as well as Hairston can, and isn't as good an all-around hitter as Hairston or any other Yankee.  He's like a Glenallen Hill with a little less pop so to lose him would not be a major backbreaker to next year's potential for success.

The fact that neither of these guys have been re-signed already and that nobody else has been brought in has to make Yankee fans wonder what the plan is.  Does that mean that Damon is still in play behind the scenes?  Does it mean there is somebody else out there that the Yanks have kept quiet about?  Whatever the case is, it looks like the major deals are done for the Bombers and it's time to put the last few pieces together; the room has been re-decorated and re-painted, and now it's time to do the touchup in the corners and vacuum to put the finishing touches on it.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Christmas Shopping In The Bargain Bin...At Goodwill


While the rest of Major League Baseball, most notably the Red Sox, Phillies, Mariners, and of course the Yankees, are wheeling and dealing during the offseason to try and improve their teams heading into 2010, the Mets are doing something that even I can't find a funny and/or logical way to describe.

If you're keeping score at home, the Mets have now signed R.A. Dickey to a minor league deal, just locked up the immortal Kelvim Escobar to a one-year deal, and are still the leaders in the clubhouse in the Jose Molina For $8-9 Million Sweepstakes.  Not only do none of these deals make them even a smidge better for next year, I don't even think they make them worse!  Which begs the question, what the fuck are the Mets doing?

They still have Jason Bay and Matt Holliday being dangled in front of their faces to boost their outfield production, and despite the fact that all the big-time pitchers are off the table, they can sign guys like Joel Pineiro and Ben Sheets (both proven commodities in the NL) to shore up their rotation.  And yet I'm sifting through ESPN.com and the NY Post reading about how they signed Kelvim Escobar.  Granted he helps Omar keep his Latin-player quote intact, but other than that Escobar brings nothing to the table.

I don't know if anybody has told Omar yet, but the Yankees, their big bully of a crosstown brother, won the fucking World Series last year.  You are obligated to make a big move or 2 to keep your team competitve and relevant next year and saying R.A. Dickey isn't going to put asses in the seats and callers on the line for Joe & Evan would be the understatement of the soon-to-be new decade.

To put it in Christmas terms, what the Mets have done compared to the Yankees this offseason is the equivalent of getting a 1973 Webster's Dictionary, a half bag of expired cough drops, and a pair of mismatched socks for Christmas while you watch your brother open up a Garmin GPS system, a Mac computer, and a $750 gift card to The Armani Exchange store.

(And a side note to the Christmas gift comparison: is there anything better for a Yankee fan than when they win the World Series?  I got more Yankee shit than I have room for in my suitcase.  I got more hats, t-shirts, hoodies, etc. than the sales rack at Modell's.  It's great!!)

All the Mets have done with their offseason so far is ensure that more time is spent talking about the Yankees.  It's sad when teams like the Oakland A's are making more moves than the Mets.  Actually, what am I saying?  It's hilarious!  It gives me another reason to make fun of them and another opportunity to point out just how pathetic the Mets are compared to the Evil Empire.  BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!