Looking Good, Alex...

(Courtesy of @GTMags)

Looks like somebody hasn't been keeping up with his usual offseason workout routine.  I wonder why?  A few more pounds and I might have to upgrade his nickname to The Clydesdale.  Fat A-Rod, so hot right now.  Fat A-Rod.

The New A-Rod Lawsuit Is No Joke

If you're going to burn every bridge, you might as well soak them in lighter fluid and fire a flamethrower at them to make sure every last bit turns to ash, right?  The full lawsuit filed by Alex Rodriguez's lawyers yesterday is available to the public and it doesn't pull any punches.  My favorite passage might be this one about the MLBPA:

" MLBPA determined early on that it did not want to "take on" MLB over the alleged use of PES by Mr. Rodriguez and, instead, would "save its fire" for other issues where it would be across the table from MLB.  As a result, it engaged in numerous acts that were arbitrary, capricious and taken in bad faith, each of which constitutes a breach of MLBPA's duty of fair representation, and each of which had undermined the entire Grievance process to Mr. Rodriguez's detriment."

Arbitrary, capricious, and in taken in bad faith?  That's dynamite stuff.  Jackie Chiles couldn't have said it better himself.

Report: A-Rod Prepared To Fight Arbitrator Decision

(Courtesy of Joe Cingrana/CBSNewYork.com)

Now that the HOF announcements have been made, the expectation is that the arbitrator in the A-Rod suspension case will hand down his final decision any day.  When he does, the latest reports have A-Rod and his legal team ready to fight the decision to the bitter end.  According to the NY Daily News, A-Rod will seek an injunction if the suspension is upheld on the grounds that the suspension and subsequent arbitration hearing were "unfair and biased" against him and in violation of federal labor laws.  An anonymous source in the Daily News report said "the papers are all ready" for the official filing and that A-Rod's people "are just waiting for the announcement."

This will basically be a last gasp attempt by Alex to keep his hopes of playing Major League Baseball again alive, and the swiftness with which his legal team has prepared for this course of action provides some insight into what they expect arbitrator Frederic Horowitz's decision to be.  Their belief is that they can follow in NFL player Jonathan Vilma's footsteps and get an "unfair" suspension overturned through the courts, but that was a different case in a different sport with different rules so it's hardly and apples-to-apples comparison.

I honestly can't remember if I'd said this already or not, but I don't think we're going to see A-Rod on the field in 2014 and I think there's a very good chance he's played his last MLB game.  At the absolute least, I see the suspension getting reduced to 162 games and it wouldn't surprise me if the full 211 was upheld.  The deck has been stacked against him from the beginning and he's basically down to his last card.  The odds of him overturning the decision through a court injunction are no better than the odds of the suspension being overturned.

Alex And Randy, An Email Match Made In Heaven

Stop me if you've heard this one before.  Alex Rodriguez and/or Randy Levine said or did something stupid in the press that's now coming out and making them look bad.  It's been about a week or 2 since either of them fell into that familiar trap and this time it looks like they've fallen in together.

Yesterday Steve Fishman of New York Magazine published a story comprised almost entirely of a series of email exchanges between A-Rod and Levine dating back to the early part of the 2011 season.  Reading through it in chronological order, you'll see how the relationship between them and the relationship between Alex and the organization has deteriorated over the last 2+ years, especially after the latest round of steroid accusations and suspensions came down.  What starts with Levine saying "I'm worried about your health, u sure u r ok?" ends with Alex pleading for Levine and the Yankees to stop what he perceived as helping MLB's investigation against him and telling Levine "what you are doing is ruining the business of baseball."

It's truly bizarro world stuff from the 2 guys in the Yankee organization who are the best at providing such stuff.  The whole thing is a must-read and a must-re-read when you're done and another classic example of the 2 things we know most about these men: Alex thinks everybody is out to get him and has an over-inflated sense of ego and Levine is a complete moron.

The Only Thing That Matters About This "Tell-All" A-Rod Book

If you were busy following the important stories about the new player signings or actually doing something constructive with your time yesterday, you might have missed this juicy nugget of gossip about A-Rod.  Apparently he's close to locking up multimillion dollar deal to publish a book that he says will dish all the “full dirt of Major League Baseball’s tactics” against him as part of his suspension.

Al.  Can I call you Al?  If you read this, I need you to know something.  I need you to know that no matter what kind of details you put in this book, the one thing that needs to be confirmed is the story of the centaur painting.  I need to know if that thing exists or not, more than I need to know how big of a scumbag Bud Selig truly is.  I've named this blog after you.  The image of you as a centaur is basically the logo of this site.  I've been one of your biggest supporters since I started AB4AR in '09 and I will continue to be for as long as there's still a chance that you can play.  After all that, I think I deserve to know the truth about the centaur painting.

And if you don't want to do it for me, that's fine.  Then do it for the kids.  And their kids.  And their kids' kids.  Do it so that future generations of Yankee fans don't have to live with the same uncertainty the rest of us live with now.  We all pretty much know the story of how your battle with MLB went down.  What we don't know, and what we need to know, is whether or not you commissioned a painting of yourself as a centaur.  It's the one chapter of the A-Rod Saga that really needs closure.

A-Rod Keeps Beating Up On Bud

He didn't get the chance to hear the explanation for why he was suspended for 211 games last week, but that hasn't stopped Alex Rodriguez from throwing body blows at Bud Selig.  Now that his suspension appeal hearing is over, A-Rod is using his lawsuit against MLB to air his grievances with the MLB commissioner.  His lawyers amended the lawsuit yesterday to include complaints about Bud no-showing at the hearings.  Here's the best part:

“Mr. Selig chose to hide in his office in Milwaukee rather than come testify at the grievance hearing in New York. In Mr. Selig’s world, apparently the ‘buck’ does not stop with Bud.  Mr. Selig lacked the courage of his convictions to explain under oath the reasons for the suspension and the conduct of his investigators. His silence on these issues speaks volumes and leads to only one logical conclusion — his actions, and those of the MLB personnel he controls, were aimed at destroying the reputation, career and business prospects of Alex Rodriguez.”

The amended lawsuit also included pictures designed to show evidence of Bud's alleged hatred for A-Rod, like the one above.  I've said it before and I'll continue to say it until every man, woman, and child on this planet acknowledges it.  No matter how you feel about A-Rod as a player or person, the comedic value of this whole situation cannot be understated.

BREAKING: A-Rod Walks Out Of Appeal Hearing

This story is still developing and details are coming in at a rapid pace, but all you need to know is that the A-Rod/MLB circus continues to become more comically insane and The Horse himself is at the center of today's controversy.  After arbitrator Fredric Horowitz ruled that MLB commissioner Bud Selig did not have to testify today, A-Rod reportedly slammed his hand down on a table, told Rob Manfred he was "full of shit", and then stormed out of the meeting room.

A-Rod has since issued a statement.  Props to the Daily News I-Team for getting this:

“I am disgusted with this abusive process designed to ensure that the player fails. I have sat through 10 days of testimony by felons and liars, sitting quietly through every minute, trying to respect the league and the process. This morning, after Bud Selig refused to come in and testify about his rationale for the unprecedented and totally baseless punishment he hit me with, the arbitrator selected by MLB and the Players Association refused to order Selig to come in and face me. The absurdity and injustice just became too much. I walked out and will not participate any further in this farce.”

Wow.  Just wow.  Getcha popcorn ready because this is going to get REALLY good now.  Your move, MLB.

The Latest From The A-Rod-MLB Battle Front

A-Rod's statement:

“I am deeply troubled by my team’s investigative findings with respect to MLB’s conduct.  How can the gross, ongoing misconduct of the MLB investigations division not be relevant to my suspension, when my suspension supposedly results directly from that division’s work?”

MLB COO Rob Manfred's response:

“This latest, sad chapter in Mr. Rodriguez’s tarnished career is yet another example of this player trying to avoid taking responsibility for his poor choices. Given the disappointing acts that Mr. Rodriguez has repeatedly made throughout his career, his expressed concern for young people rings very hollow.”

Between these jabs and the previous day's verbal sparring session between Manfred and Joe Tacopina, I'm pretty sure this entire circus will end up being settled like this:

A-Rod's Legal Team Is Straight Up Putting In Work

I know I said a long time ago that I wasn't going to use AB4AR to post every little A-Rod story, but it's hard not to when there's new stuff like this coming out every other day.

"Alex Rodriguez’s lawyers were blocked from holding a news conference Monday with a person they described as a 'Major League Naseball whistleblower' when the commissioner’s office obtained an order from the arbitrator hearing the case.

More than an hour after the scheduled start of the news conference, one of Rodriguez’s lawyers read the substance of the order from arbitrator Fredric Horowitz to the assembled media.

The lawyers would not say whether the 'whistleblower' worked for Major League Baseball, one of its teams or some other affiliate. They also said the 'whistleblower' had facts not directly related to the substance of the case."

Staying on the offensive against MLB at every turn.  Love it.  I can't wait until this thing runs its course and ends up as the base storyline for an episode of "Law & Order" in a few years.

The A-Rod Hearing Is Really Getting Good

The hearing for Alex Rodriguez's suspension appeal is scheduled to resume today, and if there wasn't already enough anger and hatred on both sides of the table, this fun little story from ESPN NY yesterday about A-Rod's lawyer getting into it with Anthony Bosch's lawyer should add a little extra heat to the fire:

"Told that MLB might need several more days to question Bosch, Tacopina was quoted by the New York Daily News as saying, 'Well, I guess we have all of October, and by then Mr. Bosch will be in jail.'

'If he is, he is not going alone,' Ayala is alleged to have retorted, prompting Tacopina to 'bull rush' Ayala, according to the source. Tacopina was restrained before any blows could be exchanged."

FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!!!!  Seriously, how can people not love this stuff?  There should be a new 24/7 ESPN channel dedicated to showing everything that's happening inside and outside that meeting room.  If I'm scoring the bout, I'm going to have to give the nod to Ayala (Bosch's lawyer).  The "not going alone" line is a pretty good comeback on the spot like that, and the fact that Tacopina responded by rushing him proves it got under his skin.  Rookie move by Tacopina too.  Everybody knows you don't escalate to physicality after the first insult, bro.  You should have come back with the "you bob for apples in the toilet, and you like it" line and seen where it went from there.  Amateur.

The A-Rod SueFest 2013 Continues

Fresh of the heals of absolutely boomsaucing Bud Selig in his lawsuit against MLB on Thursday, Alex Rodriguez and his legal team kept the momentum going with another lawsuit today.

Via Ken Davidoff, A-Rod has filed a medical malpractice lawsuit against Yankee team doctor Christopher Ahmad and the NYPC Medical Center for misdiagnosing his hip injury back in 2012.  This is right in line with the claims A-Rod made months back about people conspiring to keep him off the field and most likely related to his allegation that the team hid his MRI results from him initially.  I hope this circus never ends.  If Alex is going to go down as Bud's PED sacrificial lamb, he might as well try to make everybody else look as shitty as he does.

All Arms...

(Courtesy of MLB.com)

Like 100% arms.  No lower body in that swing at all.  And still strong enough to hit it well out to become the new all-time MLB leader in grand slams.  Guarantee Bud is trying to figure out a way to add 50 games to his suspension for reaching that milestone.

"But wait, Brad.  I thought centaurs didn't have arms.  How did he do that?"

Magic.  A killer wrist workout routine.  And probably a little HGH.

Heel A-Rod Strikes Again

He didn't hit the loudest or most important home run last night, but Alex Rodriguez did club another one to the opposite field off righty pitcher Scott Feldman in the top of the 6th.  And as he's done before since returning, he celebrated it in style.

After ARod touched home, he turned to 2 guys behind home plate who were heckling him as well & did the "zip your lips" pose and blew a kiss.
— Kris Jones (@RavenManiac) September 12, 2013

Goddamn do I love Heel A-Rod.  Such a great character.  If his hips hold up, he should definitely consider a run in pro wrestling after he retires/gets suspended/whatever.  And while he's still playing he should seriously consider changing to this for his AB music.

Boomtown

(Courtesy of MLB.com)

Problems hitting righties?  What problems hitting righties?  What kind of an asshat would suggest that Alex Rodriguez was going to have problems hitting righties based on a 1-game sample size??  Dude still looked like he could get it done out there against northpaws today, and against 1 of the best in the game no less.  First homer of the season, and on a ball that didn't sound like he got anything close to all of it.  Maybe those hips are feeling OK.

P.S.- Certainly sounded like a lot more cheers than boos when that ball went over the fence.  Maybe there aren't as many Yankee fans out there drinking the MSM anti-A-Rod Kool-Aid as I thought.

Dost The A-Horse's Power Returneth?

That's video of Alex Rodriguez homering in his Double-A rehab game last night, courtesy of Josh Norris.  Was that a little pimpage I detected at the plate after the initial contact??  I think it was.  If so, that's a really good sign.  It's been a lot of GB outs and little pop for A-Rod since he started his rehab assignment a few weeks ago.  With just a few days remaining until his time is up, it's good to not only see him hit a ball deep and over the fence but know off the bat that it's gone.

We haven't heard many details about how his hip has been feeling since he started playing again.  Maybe this is a sign that it's feeling good and A-Rod has confidence in it now.  The Yankees need right-handed power in the absolute worsest of worst ways, and as long as MLB hasn't officially stuck it to him that power might as well come from The Horse.

The Truth Finally Comes Out

Say it ain't so, Alex!

Because nobody in the MSM can think of anything worthwhile to ask or write about now that the Winter Meetings are over, Alex Rodriguez was stuck answering questions about his rumored centaur paintings of himself in house.  After years of speculation, and quite frankly hope on my part that it was true, A-Rod finally shed some light on the subject.

“No, I do not have a painting of my upper body on a Minotaur.  I don’t know where they get that stuff.”

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  I can't believe that it's not true!  What a crushing blow to my ego, my hopes and dreams of what the world could be, and the very foundation that this blog was built upon.  I mean come on, Al!  I've been down with the A-Taur since the word go.  Do you think I would have gone through all the trouble of making multiple Photoshops, rattling off hundreds of A-Horse jokes, and always trying to remember to refer to your feet as hooves if I thought you didn't actually have these paintings??  What kind of an idiot do you think I am???  Wait, don't answer that.

Needless to say, this day is already off to a horrible start. I could slip a joke in here about how the hip injury and required surgery is even more severe when you're dealing with a 4-legged centaur, but it just wouldn't be the same now knowing what I know.  I don't normally drink at the office, but I might have to find something to put in my coffee to get me through the morning.

(Never forget)

P.S.- Yes, I wrote this post assuming that A-Rod is actually too dumb to know the difference between a centaur and a minotaur.  There's no way he's that slick.

The Horse Is Getting Ready To Canter

Via Peter Botte of The NY Times:

"Alex Rodriguez will DH on Friday for Class-A Tampa, and if all goes well, he will play 3B there on Saturday."

Well polish your saddles, sharpen your spurs, and get ready to strap on the feed bag, folks, because The Horse is coming out of the stable!  News like this couldn't come at a better time.  This offense needs help in the worst way, and even an announcement of a middle-of-the-order bat getting back on the field is helpful.

The Horse Ties The Iron Horse

It's one thing to hit a grand slam.  It's another to hit a grand slam that ties you with one of the greatest Yankee and baseball legends of all time for the most career grand slams.  And it's quite another to hit that record-tying grand slam in the 8th inning of a road game where your team was down 4-0 and have it be the catalyst for a seemingly improbable comeback win.

Too bad this didn't happen at home.  Woulda been cool to see A-Rod give a little speech after the game.

"Tonight (-night...).  I consider myself (-self...).  The luckiest centaur (-taur...).  On the face of the earth (earth...)."

The First A-Bomb Of The Year

(See ya!  Screen cap courtesy of MLB.com)

I've been waiting 6 game for this, and The Horse finally comes through today with his first HR canter of the season.  He must have just been waiting until the Yanks came home.  What a guy.

Hip Looks Good...

(Courtesy of MLB.com)

Do not sleep on The Horse, people.  Do not sleep on The Horse.