Are These The 3 Worst Calls Ever?

1) Top 4th- Nick Swisher called safe on a pickoff attempt at 2nd base when he's clearly out by half a furlong.

Photo Courtesy of Barstool Sports NY

Now normally plays on pickoff attempts are blown because the umpire is out of position on a call, usually behind the play, thus allowing himself no clear view of the tag being made or the hands being on the base.  Last night that was not the case, as the ump at 2nd was in perfect position and had absolutely nothing blocking his view of both the tag and the hands other than his own stupidity.  Clearly a major fuck-up that deserves 4 out of 5 on the scale of 1-to-"You Gotta Be Fucking Kidding Me."

2) Top 4th- Nick Swisher called out at home for the final out of the inning after being ruled he left 3rd base before Torii Hunter made the catch in center field despite replays showing him being more on the base than previously thought possible.

Photo Courtesy of Barstool Sports NY

This was the worst kind of bad call, an obvious make-up call by Tim McClelland to cover for his buddy at 2nd base.  Typically make-up calls are more common in the NBA and NFL, but because they are so rare in baseball they are almost always important because they pop up in situations where runs either get put on or taken off the board.

Now Timmy was remorseful after the game saying that he "believed in his heart" that Swisher left 3rd base early.  I respect the guy for facing the music after the game and explaining his logic, that's what he should do.  But when you're reasoning for making the call was you "believed in your heart" that somebody did something, I have to call bull- and horseshit.  This isn't Disney World, dude; nobody's asking you wish upon a shooting star or click your heels together 3 times; this is Major League Baseball umpiring, a job that heart should never ever factor into.  Fuck your heart!!!  Use your fucking eyes!!!  Nick Swisher is standing 5 feet from you, clearly on 3rd base.  You've got 19 other umpires on your staff watching for the catch, which everybody and their mother knew Hunter was going to make, so take a fucking glance at Swish leaving 3rd before you decide to blindly call him out.

I would have a little more respect for McClelland if he would have just said "I believed in my heart and my eyes that Nick Swisher was out at second base earlier in the inning, so I decided to give that out back to the Angels and not allow the Yankees to score a run that they rightfully should not have if the 2nd base umpire made the correct call."  Don't give us this shit about hearts and dreams and fairies and rainbows, fess up to what you did and don't insult our intelligence.

A solid 5 out of 5 on the 1-to-"You Gotta Be Fucking Kidding Me" scale.

3) Top 5th- McClelland rules Robinson Cano safe and Jorge Posada out at 3rd on another play that took place within pissing distance of him even though the live play and subsequent replays showed Cano and Posada were clearly off the base when tagged by Angels' catcher Mike Napoli.

Photo Courtesy of Barstool Sports NY

Just look.  LOOK!!! FUCKING LOOK!!!!  Cano stood there like a jackass and Jorge never even tried to touch 3rd after running back.  They're standing right there, plain as printer paper, not on the base.  How does one fail to see this, especially when one's eyes are looking directly at the play and not at Torii Hunter in center field like one was the previous inning?  It's a clear 8.5/5 on the "You Gotta Be Fucking Kidding Me" scale.

I don't even know how to try to explain this one other than just saying that Tim McClelland is obviously part of Major League Baseball's and the Illuminati's worldwide conspiracy to ensure the Yankees win the 2009 World Series.  That's the only thing that makes any sense here.  Even though they were already up 5-0 and in complete command of the game, McClelland must have sensed that there was trouble afoot and wanted to give the Yankees a chance to score another insurance run.  Luckily for him, the Yankees managed to somehow scrap together another 5 to squeak by 10-1 and keep the plan in motion, exactly as it was predicted by the Mayans over 400 billion years ago.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!  THERE IT IS, FUCKFACES, READ IT AND WHEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Everyone can just stop playing now because when the Yanks have CC cruising, A-Rod smashing home runs, and Tim McClelland in their back pocket, nothing can stop them and nothing will stop them.

Hit the fucking music...

Game 4 Thoughts and Afterthoughts

* Strange to see the Yankees running early last night with both Jeter and A-Rod running on first movement in consecutive innings to start the game. They ran themselves out of a potential big inning in the first and even though it didn't affect the outcome of the game, it will interesting to see if they keep up the aggressive baserunning against Lackey in Game 5.

* Before finally breaking out, the top of the 2nd looked like a typical wasted inning by the Yankee bats: 2 on, no outs, and no runs score as Posada, Cano, and Swisher put bad swings on good pitches to hit.

* All the talk of past playoff failures, not being clutch, getting divorced, hanging out with strippers, Madonna, taking steroids, and Kate Hudson has overshadowed A-Rod since he first put on the pinstripes, but last night was a reminder to the world just how great an all-around baseball player he is.

In the top of the 2nd, he walks to lead off the inning and steals second easily before being stranded. In the 4th, he has a great at-bat that ends in a sharp single up the middle then scores the first Yankee run on nothing more than hustle as he bolted from home on contact on Cano's chopper. More than that, he communicated his intentions to Jorge before the play which put Jorge in motion on contact and allowed him to end up at 3rd. Then you add in the home run, the good plays at 3rd base and it becomes a 5-tool night for a guy who has had his identity as a 5-tool player almost forgotten.

* 2 actual text messages I received from my uncle during Nick Swisher's second at-bat:

1) "HEY SWISHER, ENUF STARIN AT NANA & POP POP, TK THAT TIME& CONCENTRATE ON THE GAME"

2) "Oh my nana & pop pop raised me, I'm just a free spirit, HEY SHUT DA FUCK UP & PRODUCE!"

When you're pre-pitch ritual of looking up to the sky to honor your dead grandparents who raise you is starting to piss off your fans, you know you're struggling pretty bat at the plate.

* Kazmir flat out sucked last night. He had no stuff and wasn't aggressive at all against the Yankee lineup. His slider was beyond awful and the game slowed to an almost complete stop in the 2nd and 3rd as he kept stepping off the mound and having multiple visits to the mound from his catcher. We can officially retire the "Scott Kazmir owns the Yankees" theory because right now he doesn't even own his pitches.

* A major contributing factor to Kazmir's suckiness was a vintage exhibition in Yankee patience by the lineup last night. They got ahead in the count early and then fouled off pitches constantly, which drove his pitch count up to 100 in just 4+ innings. If you can't get strike 1 across and can't get swings and misses against this lineup, then you don't have a snowball's chance of making it past the 5th inning.

* The top of the 4th was just one more example of how baseball needs instant replay for every call. It's sad that so many obvious calls get missed, and even more sad that umpires take it upon themselves to issue make up calls to cover for their partners' mistakes (see: Nick Swisher getting called out for leaving 3rd base early). I'll cover this subplot of the game/series in greater detail in a separate post tonight.

* I wish there was a way to measure what percentage of Yankee fans were screaming "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??!!!!" at their TVs last night when Robinson Cano and Jorge Posada performed their Marx Brothers routine at 3rd in the top of the 5th last night. It's moments like that that still have to make Yankee fans wary of Cano and just how much attention he's actually paying when he's on the field.

* Another example of how lame Cali fans are: fireworks after the Kendry Morales solo home run in the bottom of the 5th. Really, guys? Fireworks for a solo home run that still had your team down 4 runs with less than half the game to play? It's a meaningless run, not the 4th of July, and if you need cheap stunts like that to get your fans to stand up and cheer then you shouldn't be in the playoffs. That's like trying to use a cute little animal to inspire crowd noise. Oh, wait...

* I know it's a downright filthy pitch, but isn't Tim McCarver referring to CC's change as a "power changeup" an oxymoron?

* The bottom of the 7th was the kind of killer instinct moment that Yankee starting pitching has lacked for the better part of 4 years. CC sensed if he could get out of that inning without allowing any more runs then the game was over and he ratcheted the intensity up a notch by striking out 2 in what was his best inning of the night, showing velocity and command that was just as fast and sharp as it was in the first inning of Game 1.

* And right after that slitting of the Angels' collective throats, Johnny Damon follows up in the top of the 8th with what equates to having your dick cut off and stuck in your mouth, post-mortem with the 2-run homer. Glad to see the Damonic one waking up in this series and realizing he needs to show something to get a new contract next year after stumbling to the finish line in the regular season.

* Hey, a Chad Gaudin sighting!!! And he looked pretty damn good in the 9th after having not pitched in a game situation for who knows how long. There were rumors after the game that the Angels offered the Yanks Ervin Santana and a minor league prospect for Gaudin to boost their bullpen depth for Game 5.

* Funny how you always see Tim Kurkjian on SportsCenter before the game talking about how Jon Lester, John Lackey, Scott Kazmir, Vida Blue, Rick James, and Chef Gordon Ramsay all own the Yankees but after the game on Baseball Tonight, he's nowhere to be found to give the Yankees credit for their destruction of these pitchers and the Triple-A lineup of Chris Singleton and John Kruk has to pick up the slack.

* Exactly as I predicted, the offense finally broke out last night, CC shut the door on the Angels and the Yankees got the beatdown game they needed to kill any hope the Angels had of making this a series.

Melky and Damon each looked good at the plate, Teix and Cano had better swings than they had in the first 3 games and looked to be seeing the ball better. Sure Matsui and Swisher look lost, but that's why we could see Brett Gardner in the lineup for Game 5 and Swish on the pine.

When CC pitches like he has his last 2 outings, nobody is going to beat the Yankees. Much like A-Rod, he has shed his "can't get it done in the playoffs" label and is pitching so well right now that he might want to think about re-negotiating his deal and try to get 170 million out of the Yankees.

Game 5 is tomorrow night, but don't let anybody at FOX or ESPN fool you, this series is fucking over. Now where's Jeter's ass?

A FUCKING A-BOMB

Another fucking A-Bomb!!  The dude should just marry Kate now and be done with it.

So much for Scott Kazmir owning the Yankees.  Suck it, Kurkjian, and blow me, Mark Grace.  Go feed banana slices to the Rally Monkey and shut the fuck up.

Let the ass grabbing commence!!

Really, Halos Heaven? Really??

Lamest. Story. Ever.

Really, guys? Doctoring the ball? Visual proof? Get fucking real.

You just stole a game last night that if you didn't win you would have been dead in the water tonight and you can't just be happy with that? You have to try to stir up more shit for this series and make a weak attempt at knocking arguably the greatest baseball player at doing what he's paid to do off his game? Everybody at Halos Heaven needs to re-fucking-lax for a second and stop blasting images all over the place like they just uncovered the location of the second shooter on the Zapruder Film. Baseball players spit, whopdee-damn-do! Doesn't mean they're spitting on the ball, doesn't mean they're trying to doctor the ball.

And why is Major League Baseball wasting their time getting involved here and investigating this? Guys, it's Mariano Rivera!! The guy who's been doing the same thing looking the same way for the last 15 years. He's the least suspicious player in professional sports. And if you look back through his history, there are actually a few speed bumps in the road (see: 1997 ALCS, 2001 World Series). That's the sign of a natural career playing out, so why would Mo suddenly decide to start doctoring the ball in the playoffs when there are more umps and more cameras around and when he's shown signs of being just as good, if not better, this year than he was 1, 2, 5, or 10 years ago?

And if you want to go down the "Well maybe he's been doing this the whole time and that's the secret to his success" road, don't waste your time. If Mo had been throwing a spitter his whole career, then he would have never given up a run or a hit ever. The guy is 99% unhittable as it is with just the cutter; throw some spit in there and we're talking about 7 Yankee titles since '96 and not 4.

I expect this kind of bush-league stuff from Red Sox fans and ESPN (and really, what's the difference between them?) but coming from ho-hum fans like the Angels' faithful is a shock, and so is MLB's response to investigate. I figured at least Major League Baseball would be rooting for the Yankees so they could get more revenue sharing money to keep teams like the Royals and Nationals afloat.

All this anti-Yankee sentiment from every angle is just more proof that the Yanks are the team to beat this year and everybody knows it.

ALCS: Yankees-2 Angels-0; Angels-1 Joe Girardi-0

Sure, the argument can be made that the Yankees didn't deserve to win tonight's game; Andy Pettitte had nothing and it was a miracle the Angels only scored 3 runs off of him in his 6+ innings, they didn't take advantage of bad starting pitching and shaky bullpen pitching by Anaheim to put the Angels out after putting them down 3-0, Mark Teixeira has been abysmal at the plate all series, and Nick Swisher is a walking strikeout.  But the fact is Joe Girardi lost the game for the Yankees tonight, plain and fucking simple.

Case in point:

Bottom 7th: Joe removes Andy for Joba Chamberlain and proceeds to watch Joba get knocked all over the field as he allows the Angels to take the lead, 4-3.  I know he's a better fit in the pen than in the rotation, but Joba hasn't pitched THAT well so far in the playoffs, certainly not well enough to earn as much confidence as Joe has in him.  The smart play, if he was going to take Andy out, would have been to bring in Dave Robertson or Alfredo Aceves, but Joe has fallen in love with the bullpen rotation he has set and it bit him in the ass in this instance.

Top 8th: After a leadoff walk, Joe removes Matsui for Brett Gardner, the smart move to make down by one with your worst baserunner on at first.  But Joe doesn't give Gardner enough time to get loose or to get Kevin Jepsen's move down before sending him to steal second, effectively taking the bat out of Jorge's hands.  Gardner is thrown out on a pitch out and Jorge's following home run turns out to be a solo instead of a two-run shot that would have given the Yankees the lead.

Now I'm all for sending Gardner, that's what he's on the roster to do.  But give him a few chances to time up Jepsen and give Jorge a few chances to put the ball in play before risking an out.  Jepsen had thrown over to first once, stepped off the mound twice, and thrown only one pitch before Gardner was off and running. When you've got a lefty power hitter at the plate against an inexperienced righty who throws the ball relatively straight, it makes more sense to give your hitter a few chances to get a hit than it does to put all your faith in a cold pinch runner who hasn't had a good look at the pitcher's move and timing to the plate.  Joe tried to micro-manage and play for one run instead of letting the at-bat play out a little more and giving both his runner and hitter a better chance at setting up a steal or a hit and run or what would have been a 2-run homer, and it ends up resulting in a tie instead of a one-run lead.

Top 9th: Jerry Hairston pinch hits for Brett Gardner with 1 on and 2 out.  When your bench is relatively thin and the game looks like it's destined to go to extra innings, you have to leave yourself with more moves to make as the game gets older, and by taking Gardner out an inning after putting him in, Joe left himself with one less move to make when he needed it late.

Gardner is no power hitter, but he's good at making contact and his speed puts pressure on the defense.  It made more sense to leave him in and give him a chance to get a hit with Jorge on deck than it did to gamble on Hairston getting a big hit that gives your team the lead.  Not to mention Gardner is a better fielder and Joe should have put him in for Damon in the bottom of the 9th instead of sacrificing the DH in the bottom of the 10th, thereby leaving Joe with just Freddy Guzman as his only remaining position player.

The move to bring in Mo for Hughes in the top of the 10th and pinch hit Cervelli for Mo in the bottom of the inning weren't great moves, but they were moves that Girardi had to make after making the ones he already had.  He had left himself no choice but to pinch hit for Mo, even though he was good to go for at least another batter or 2, because he had wasted Gardner in the 9th inning and needed a defensive replacement for Damon now that Gardner was out of the game.  Again, if Joe lets Gardner hit in the 9th, he immediately replaces Damon and still leaves himself with Hairston on the bench to work with.

Bottom 11th: Joe removes Dave Robertson with 2 out and nobody on in favor of Aceves despite Robertson having good stuff, a low pitch count, and showing no signs of being hurt.

This was the worst move and was made at the worst time.  Robertson was the last short-inning guy left in the pen so it would make sense to get as much out of him as you can and then have your 2 long men for up to 3-4 innings apiece if the game played out that long.  Joe overthought the situation and elected to go with Aceves, which turned out to be the ultimate losing decision.  If Robertson finishes the inning and gets through the 12th, the Yankees are set to throw to the 19-20th inning with Aceves and Gaudin whereas the Angels are working towards using John Lackey, Game 5's starter.  Instead, Joe removes Robertson and Aceves gives up the game-winning hit.

Girardi was criticized last season for being too passive at times and appearing to almost be trying to mimic Joe Torre.  This year he shed that image and was himself and it helped get the Yankees the great results they've had.  Tonight, Joe reverted back to playing copycat and tried to be Mike Scioscia, over-thinking and over-managing the game instead of showing confidence in his players and letting them play the game the way they have all year.  Brett Gardner deserved a chance to hit and Dave Robertson more than deserved to stay in the game and get the 3rd out of the 11th inning and Joe denied them that chance.  If he's going to put them on the roster, he should let them play, period.  Stop trying to compete with other managers, Joe, and let your team do their thing.

And Joe's botched decisions didn't just affect tonight's game.  Since it's already known that CC is pitching tomorrow on short rest, if he doesn't have it and the Yanks lose again, Joe will be questioned for that decision AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND all these managerial errors from tonight become even more glaring when the Angels even the series.  Joe breathed life back into the Angels' playoff lungs tonight and he better be saying his prayers that CC is on his game tomorrow.

AB4AR's Week 6 NFL Wrap-Up (The "I'm Too Busy at Work So I Had to Make This Quick" Edition)

Week 6 Recap

Houston 28 Cincinnati 17

No big comeback for Cincy this week. More insane fantasy numbers for Matt Schaub. Hey, Steve Slaton is alive!

Green Bay 26 Detroit 0

Daunte Culpepper is officially done as a football player. Drew Stanton showed why he's a 3rd-string quarterback. Packers got exactly what they needed coming off a bye week.

Jacksonville 23 St. Louis 20 (OT)

Maurice Jones-Drew backed up his calling out of the team and coach with 133 yards and 3 TDs, and Mike Sims-Walker managed to not bang any random chicks after team curfew.

Minnesota 33 Baltimore 31

Favre almost got the Aaron Rodgers treatment as the Vikes' D imploded in the 4th quarter. In true Ray Lewis fashion, Ray started dancing maniacally on the field after Hauschka's miss and couldn't be stopped for 5 minutes to be informed that the Ravens had actually lost.

New Orleans 48 NY Giants 27

Here's a recipe for a guaranteed loss: dynamic offense coming off a bye week against an overrated, banged up defense that has grown complacent by beating up on shitty teams for 4 straight weeks.

Pittsburgh 27 Cleveland 14

While the Steelers officially won the game by scoring more points, Browns coaches and team officials awarded themselves 1/2 of a win for scoring 2 TDs and gave all the players gold stars after the game for trying their best.

Carolina 28 Tampa Bay 21

Williams and Stewart combine for 250+ yards rushing and 3 TDs as Carolina discovers a new winning formula: keep the ball out of Jake Delhomme's hands as much as possible.

Kansas City 14 Washington 6

............................ That moment of silence was in remembrance of the Redskins' season. Congrats to Todd Haley for getting his first win as an NFL head coach and his parking spot back at the Chiefs' facility.

Oakland 13 Philadelphia 9

Jamarcus Russell shows flashes of competence and Oakland does just enough to win a game that the Eagles should have dominated. This game tells you everything you need to know about the Eagles' chances of being a serious competitor this year.

Arizona 27 Seattle 3

After their Dr. Jekyll performance last week, the Seahawks turned back into Mr. Hyde as the offense sputtered against one of the worst D's in the league. Arizona manages to keep themselves relevant for one more week.

New England 59 Tennessee 0

He's BAAAAAAAaaaaaaack! Brady and company set 164 NFL records in the 2nd quarter on way to a destruction of the lame duck Titans. Steve McNair showed more life yesterday than the Titans (BAM!!! 3 McNair jokes in a row).

Buffalo 16 NY Jets 13

In 3 weeks the Jets have gone from the belle of the ball to the ugly, lesbian-looking chick at the school dance who nobody wants to go near. Can somebody get Mark Sanchez some hand warmers and a cup of cocoa? I haven't seen a pussy that big since I watched the Pam Anderson-Tommy Lee honeymoon tape.

Atlanta 21 Chicago 14

The Falcons make it official that they are for real and could very well be the best team in the NFC behind the Saints. Ryan wasn't great, Michael Turner did next to nothing, and they still managed to squeak out a win against a game Chicago team. That kind of win is not something you typically see from young teams, or NFC South teams for that matter.


MNF Prediction

San Diego 30 Denver 24

The glass slipper falls off tonight as the Chargers finally solve the Broncos' defense and Antonio Gates has the monster night I need to finally get a win in fantasy.


MNF Predictions for the Season (Winners): 4-2

Mind of McCarver: Inside the Empty Head of a Bitter Old Baseball Curmudgeon

No fanbase of any team would be happy to have Tim McCarver doing color commentary for a playoff series; the guy is slow, clueless, and still seems to think the game is being played the way it was in the 1960s and 70s.  But when the Yankees are involved, McCarver takes his act to a completely different level, and the first 2 games of the ALCS have been chock full of Timmy's stubborn, blatant, anti-Yankee "analysis."

Exhibit A- Game 1: "There are managers who make people forget about the manager before him.  Joe Girardi is not one of them..."

Then why say it when you're talking about Girardi and the job he did this season???  Whether or not it was meant to be a slight, it was still a curious thing for Tim to bring up while he and Joe Buck were discussing how calm Girardi seemed in the pre-game press conference and how much more calm he seemed through the entire season compared to last year.

I don't think any Yankee fan will ever forget Joe Torre and the success he had with his Yankees during his tenure as manager, but there was always whisperings of his mismanagement of the bullpen and the fact that he played favorites with players like Jeter and Posada.  Those whisperings became louder towards the end of the Torre Era and an argument can be made that it contributed to the negative performance of the team over the last few years.

Girardi, on the other hand, has done a great job managing the pen throughout the season and especially in the playoffs so far.  He was known to be a bit of a general when he was managing the Marlins, but seems to have found a happy medium dealing with this collection of players.  There is certainly no sign of favoritism or any rifts in the clubhouse this season and the results have been everything fans have been hoping for.  So no, maybe he won't make people forget about Torre, but I would say Girardi has done a far better job of managing the personalities of this team than Torre did during his last few years and deserves a lot more credit for it than he's gotten.

Exhibit B- Game 1: "The catcher is almost always going to get that call, regardless of whether he's tagged or not."  Bottom of the 5th, referring to the play at the plate involving A-Rod where he appeared to never be tagged out by catcher Jeff Mathis.

This was the first of his trio of insanely illogical viewpoints on questionable calls of close plays.  Even in the face of multiple angle replays showing that A-Rod was not tagged with the glove holding the ball as he touched the plate, McCarver was steadfast in his belief that tagging the runner out was not necessary on plays at the plate, and focused solely on the fact that A-Rod should have been tied and quartered for running through the third base coach's stop sign.

If that's the case, Tim, then why do teams bother to throw the relay home to the catcher and why does he make an effort to catch the ball before tagging the runner?  Why not just throw the ball wherever you please and just let the catcher block the plate as the runner comes at him?  It's because the rules clearly state that the runner has to be TAGGED to be called out, and if he is not then he should be ruled safe.  There's no doubt that were the teams reversed in that situation, McCarver would have been up in arms about the umpire missing the call and being out of position, but since it involved the Yankees, the team that dismissed him as an announcer after 2001, being on the wrong end of the call, Timmy just chalks it up as a typical play that occurs as frequently in baseball as the home run or the groundout.

Exhibit C- Game 1: "It's off the bag....  But was it on long enough after the catch was made?" Top of the 6th, referring to Mark Teixeira's foot being off the bag when he caught CC Sabathia's throw to get Torii Hunter out on a bunt attempt.

Once again plain factual visual confirmation was thrown to the wayside to allow McCarver to hold on to his own misguided, bitter opinion that the Yankees got the benefit of a bad call.  Multiple replays showed Teixeira's foot to be on the bag as the ball was in his glove for more than a split second before it came off while Hunter had yet to reach the base, but McCarver refused to acknowledge it, leaving it up to question while repeatedly stating he believed Teix's foot was off the base.

Tim then stepped it up a notch by suggesting the first base umpire should consider that Torii Hunter's reaction was evidence that he was safe because he "had the best view of the play, and he was sure he was safe."  WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????!!!!  You mean the player who had more to gain on the play than the umpire should be the most trusted authority on the ruling of a close play?  You're kidding, right Tim?  If that's the reasoning you're going to use, then why don't we just believe every player who says it was tainted supplements or B-12 shots when they get caught for using PEDs, or just let the players call their own balls and strikes at the plate?

Torii Hunter did not have the best view of the play.  He's moving at a fast rate of speed, trying to beat a throw to the base.  He doesn't have the time or the focus to check the positioning of Teixeira's foot at the exact moment the ball enters his glove.  The umpire does because that's what he is supposed to be watching on a play at first base.  If the ump is in good position, which he was, then he certainly has a much better view of the play than Torii Hunter.  Once again, if this play is reversed and Robinson Cano gets thrown out at first, McCarver would have talked himself hoarse praising Lackey for a great play and Morales for a great stretch at first.  Instead, the great plays of CC and Teix get ignored because the ump made what McCarver thought was the wrong call.  Whatever it takes to steal praise from the Yankees.

Exhibit D- Game 2: McCarver again ripping on the umpires for correctly calling Melky Cabrera safe at 2nd when Erick Aybar clearly failed to touch 2nd base attempting to turn a double play.

McCarver was at his best here, switching from saying Aybar did touch the base to Aybar didn't touch the base to Aybar hadn't been touching the base all night to players never touch 2nd base to umpires make that call all the time without players touching 2nd base to this game will go down as the most disputed game in professional sports history because of that call.  It was hard to tell who was more upset by the call, Aybar or McCarver.

All the while, the folks at FOX were once again providing multiple-angle replays of the play that show Aybar clearly never coming anywhere near second base on the play.  Not only that, they dug up replays of the previous plays he had made at 2nd base on the other 3 double plays turned by the Angels that night showing that he clearly DID touch 2nd base on all 3 of them.

When confronted with this indisputable evidence, McCarver did acknowledge that Aybar touched the base the previous times and did not touch it the 4th time, he still would not admit that the correct call was made.  Instead he argued that umpires should not make that call and typically call the runner out even if there is no contact with 2nd base to avoid getting players hurt.  Whether or not that's the case, the fact is a correct call was made and in McCarver's eyes, the umpire was in the wrong for making that call as opposed to allowing Aybar's clear-as-day miscue to go on the wayside.

In McCarver's world, it's not a matter of right and wrong, it's a matter of what he believes is typically done and whether or not the team he's rooting for benefits from or is hurt by that unbalance in typicality.  Using McCarver's logic, if you get pulled over for going 75 in a 55MPH zone on the highway, you're not in the wrong for breaking the law and driving over the speed limit, but rather the cop is in the wrong for not ignoring what you typically do in driving that speed in that section of the highway.  The million times of it being wrong are more important than the one instance of something being right.  That was the case last night, and it was magnified by the fact that the Yankees benefited from the correct call and not the Angels.

McCarver has made it perfectly obvious that he is rooting for the Angels and will continue to spin his commentary towards them as this series goes on.  The sad thing is that FOX continues to put him on the air.  Sure Joe Buck is not psyched to have to call the Yankees but he's at least putting his pro-Boston rhetoric on hold to attempt to call the game as unbiased-ly as possible.  But McCarver is a flat-out fucking joke.  He cries when the right call is made that helps the Yankees and makes no mention of a wrong call being made when the Yankees are on the wrong side of it.  Michael Kay and David Cone would call this series more straight than McCarver.  The only question that remains is just how much lower will Timmy sink as this series goes on?  That in itself is a great reason to tune into Game 3 tomorrow.

Forget A-Rod. How About A-God?

It's starting to get ri-goddamn-diculous, ain't it?  Even the rain drops stop falling just so they can catch a glimpse of A-Rod's at-bats.  Simply amazing.

The Angels would be better off just not showing up at the stadium tomorrow afternoon.  They've already proven that they can't play worth a shit in the cold weather but the Yankees have no problem playing in warm weather.  This series is fucking over.

ALCS Game 1 Musings and Observations

* The crowd was surprisingly loud and active early last night, considering the weather conditions and how dead silent they were in the 2 ALDS games the Stadium.  Maybe they've overcome their worries about the Yankees blowing it because they were up out of their seats cheering for CC in the top of the 1st.

* It's a good thing the crowd was behind the Yankees because to no one's surprise, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver were not.  From the first inning when Buck said that Jeter had a "bounce back year" this season (really Joe?  I didn't realize Jeter had a bad year or was hurt last year), and attempted to poo-poo Jeter's playoffs hits record by mentioning that he did it in extra games, to McCarver trying to jinx Rivera by saying he didn't look right warming up as he proceeded to sit down 3 in a row after walking the first batter of the 9th.

Also sprinkled in were references to A-Rod's steroid use, attempts to say Kendry Morales was as good as Mark Teixeira, constant mentioning of every good pitch thrown by John Lackey while completely ignoring the gem that CC pitched, and the Aflac Trivia Question being "What team, before the Angels, was the last to defeat the Yankees in consecutive playoff series'?"

Buck and McCarver, and FOX in general, did everything short of banging thunderstix and having the Rally Monkey as a guest in the booth to root for the Angels last night, and it was downright pathetic.

* While Yankees like Robinson Cano, Mark Teixeira, and Nick Swisher looked like kids getting ready to go outside and have a snowball fight in their little ear-warmer hats last night, who was the one guy not wearing anything and not even looking like the cold bothered him at all?  Derek Jeter.  Dude is just a professional in every sense of the word.  He could have his arm chopped off trying to turn two and would just shrug it off and keep playing.

* Interesting stat on Cano: he led all of MLB this season in batting average to lead off an inning.  Just one more tic to make on the "Robinson Cano is the least clutch player on the Yankees" tally sheet right there.

* While John Lackey tried to be a tough guy and go without any long sleeves last night, it was obvious the cold affected what he wanted to do on the mound, at least for the first couple innings.  He had no control over where his curveballs were going and that contributed to his high pitch count and early exit from the game.  And what the fuck is what that stupid look on his face when he's getting the signs from his catcher?  He looks like a cross between Baby Huey and constipated Elvis.

* Staying with their theme of focusing solely on the Angels, Buck commented in the top of the 5th that they really need to "get Figgins figured out" as he has been downright awful in the playoffs.  With as many bad shows as they have put out over the years, I can't be the only person who thought FOX would take that comment and turn it into a new comedy show.  'Next Tuesday at 8, it's the season premiere of "Figuring Out Figgins," starring Kevin Hart, Nia Long, and Faizon Love.  Followed by an all-new "Wanda Sykes Show."'  That sounds right up FOX's alley, doesn't it?

* While more Yankees had the goofy protective headwear on last night, they looked infinitely more comfortable playing in the cold last night than the Angels.  Anaheim looked stiff in the field and not as fast as usual on the basepaths, while the Yanks didn't look like they were playing any more different than they do in the middle of summer.  I understand they play in warm weather year-round, but if you're the Angels you have to suck it up and be professionals.  Some of those errors were unforgivable last night and probably a direct result of standing around in the cold conditions.  And that's not even counting Juan Rivera's flailing, sliding, stumbling play to cut off Matui's hit into the gap in the 5th inning.

* What the hell is with FOX's split screen pitcher-batter view with the catcher giving signs as a small square between them?  I felt like I was watching an episode of Hollywood Squares every time they did that.  Trust me, it's only a matter of time before we have a Brady Bunch-style block of cameras across the screen showing every player on every play.

* Bobby Abreu venturing near the wall in right field to catch Cano's fly ball in the 6th inning was the highest of high comedy.  It was like he expected one of the creatures from "Where the Wild Things Are" to jump out of the wall and grab him.  And 2 weeks ago without the wind blowing in, that ball is a home run easily.

* The bottom of the 6th was the perfect microcosm of the whole game.  A typical Jeter at-bat, not affected at all by the weather conditions and an atypical Torii Hunter error in center, more than likely a direct result of the weather conditions.  That right there is why the Yankees are going to win this series; the ability to block out any outside distractions and just play the game.

* This is stealing a joke from Bill Simmons, who did it in reference to J.D. Drew, but after his bases-loaded strikeout in the 7th inning, I'm thinking of making a book entitled "Hack: A Collection of Nick Swisher's Greatest Swinging Strikeouts at Curveballs Way Out of The Strikezone."  That should be a big seller, right?

* All this other shit aside, the story of the night last night was CC.  He was a manimal out there on the mound, doing exactly what the Yankees gave him 161 mil to do.  He got the first pitch strike across against more than half the batters he faced, and when he didn't, his next pitch was almost always a strike.  He had more 0-2 and 1-2 counts than I remember him having all season last night; he attacked the Angels hitters early and got ahead in the count with his fastball, which allowed him the luxury of working the outer corner of the plate with his sinker and throwing his slider sparingly as his out pitch.  He knew the weather was going to affect his off-speed stuff so he used it as little as possible and when you have great fastball command like he did last night, you're going to throw a lot of strikes.

I only remember him having one 3-ball count last night and that was the one batter he walked, so Sabathia wasn't picking corners and wasting pitches.  He was perfectly in sync with what Posada was calling and with the exception of the double by Guerrero, there weren't many hard-hit balls off him.  Last but not least, CC showed his more than just a fat guy in clown pants by fielding his position incredibly well.  His play to throw out Hunter on the bunt attempt in the top of the 6th was incredible (and was an obvious out, despite what Tim McCarver said) and he was consistently quick off the mound on ground balls to Teix to cover first.  For a man his size, CC is a fantastic athlete and he showed it last night.  It wasn't a walk-off win last night, but if anybody deserved a cream pie to the face, it was CC.  I could write an entire column just breaking down each inning last night, that's how fucking good he was.

* And I love the decision by Joe to let him throw the 8th inning.  He hadn't shown any signs of slowing down and was facing the 9-hitter in the lineup and Figgins and Abreu, who had both been awful in their first 2 at-bats of the night.  Sure they're thinking about pitching him on short rest in Game 4, but the most important game is the one you're playing NOW and Joe made damn sure he stuck with what gave him the best chance to win, CC.  If anything, this just gives Joe the option to go to the pen earlier in Game 4 if CC shows signs of laboring because they will have that much more rest.  People can talk about Mike Scioscia being a baseball genius all they want, but Joe Girardi is no slouch and so far may has done arguable the best managerial job of anybody in the playoffs.

Cakewalk, Anyone?

Seriously, were the Angels even at the Stadium tonight or was that the Columbus Clippers in Angels jerseys for a simulated game?

Game 1 recap tomorrow morning...

Sour Grapes 101

Good Seats Still Available

Posted by Peter Abraham, Globe Staff October 16, 2009 10:29 AM

The Yankees are in the ALCS for the first time since — ahem — 2004. But Yankee Stadium may not be sold out tonight for Game 1 against the Angels. That would be embarrassing for the business side of the organization.

Whether it's the economy or the outrageous ticket prices, there were still 6,000 seats available as of last night through the team. Just a few minutes ago, to see what was out there, I pulled up four tickets on Yankees.com for section 221. OK, so they were $431 each. But they were there.

The Yankees trumpeted their postseason ticket prices a few weeks ago, proudly saying they had held the line on prices. But apparently they didn't go far enough.

The secondary market is awash with tickets as well, but that is likely due to the cold and wet weather in New York.

So if you're a Yankees or Angels fan and in the vicinity of the Bronx tonight, seats are there to be had. Dress warm.



I'm not sure which of the 5 stages of grief being a sarcastic, whiny asshole falls into but Peter Abraham needs to fucking let it go.

It's cute that you tried to go online and buy Yankee tickets to prove a point, Pete, but that point is a dead horse that finished being beaten about 2 months ago.  What you should have done was actually follow ed through and bought the tickets since the Yankees actually -ahem- won their first round series to advance to the ALCS and your sad-sack team is -ahem- sitting at home right now watching their Sports Illustrated 2004 World Series highlight DVDs.  Then you could have had some October baseball to watch and actually had something new and fresh and relevant to write about.

But thanks for plugging the fact that there are tickets left to anybody that didn't know.  You probably helped boost last minute sales for tonight's game, especially considering Barstool Boston blogged about this already today too.  You call the fact that the game isn't sold out tonight embarrassing, and while I agree that it would be a bit disappointing to not sell out Game 1 of the ALCS in any weather conditions, it certainly isn't any more embarrassing than being a Sox fan who bought ALCS tickets in advance only to watch his or her team get their collective shit pushed in by the Angels.

Hey Peter,

Suck it, bitch!

Enjoy the game tonight, buddy!

Yanks-Halos ALCS Preview In a Nutshell

I'm not going to waste time breaking down all the matchups and running through the list of each team's strengths and weaknesses here, because quite frankly it's boring and every other Yankee blog and sports website has already done it.  And quite johnly, I don't think any of that shit matters.  These 2 teams are practically even in every facet of the game, and if they aren't then the advantage held by one over the other is so small that it shouldn't tip the scales one way or the other.  Every facet of the game except one.  That one facet is the bullpen.

It's no secret by now that the Yankees bullpen is stocked with competent, confident power arms that can be used interchangeably with frighteningly consistent and dominant results.  Phil Hughes was as awful as he's been all season against the Twins and he still managed to get some outs and not blow any leads and logic would dictate that he's spent the better part of the off time this week reviewing his performance and realizing he needs to stick with the fastball when he gets to 2 strikes and not overthink the situation and get cute with his off-speed stuff.  Outside of Hughes and Damaso Marte, who barely qualifies as a pitcher, the Yankees' pen was lights out in the Division Series and gives them the luxury of keeping their starters on a shorter leash in the unlikely event they suck ass on the mound.  The Yankees can theoretically shorten the game down to 5 innings and still feel confident about holding slim leads, something that has been proven time and time again to be a major luxury in the playoffs.

It's also no secret that the Angels bullpen has been shakier than Muhammad Ali's handwriting over the course of the regular season and hasn't looked all that strong so far in the playoffs.  While the Yankees throw out the fearsome fivesome of Rivera, Hughes, Joba, Aceves, and Robertson, with Phil Coke on drums, the Angels counter with Jason Bulger, Matt Palmer, Kevin Jepsen, and Darren Oliver as their rickety old bridge to the left-handed human roulette wheel that is Brian Fuentes.  If the Angels don't get starting pitching at least as good as what they got against the Red Sox then they are going to be in big trouble in late innings against a Yankee offense that has already demonstrated they have no issues performing a coup de grace against subpar relief pitching.

People can talk about stolen bases, switch hitting, 3-man rotations, how Mike Scioscia is the world's greatest genius, and schedule changes due to weather all they want, but the thing that's going to determine the winner of the series is going to be the bullpen.  Whichever team can hold the late-game leads that should be a constant theme of this series is going to win and the team that is set up better to hold said leads is the Yankees.  Period.  End of story.

I rest my case.  Somebody hit the music...

LAME!!

In what undoubtedly has to be the lamest and most hastily-thrown together pile of crap, Bill Shaikin of the LA Times had an "article" yesterday on the 10 Reasons Why America Should Root for the Angels in the ALCS.


Check it out here.

It's almost too easy to beat this kindergarten logic into the ground, but we'll do it anyway.


10 Reasons why America Should be Rooting for the Angels to Beat the New York Yankees in the ALCS:

1) The Yankees had their century.

Yeah, they did. And it was a century that they thoroughly dominated, winning 25 World titles and producing a who's who list of baseball immortals. Not to mention, that so far in this century they've won just as many championships as the Angels have while participating in more World Series (3) to the Angels' 1. I'd say this century is shaping up to look pretty damn good too.

2) The Angels could become the first team to knock the Yankees and the Boston Red Sox out of the playoffs in the same season, ridding us of both the teams that are force-fed to America all summer.

As if knocking a team out of the playoffs that wasn't as good as you is anything to be so super proud of. And your team would be getting a little force-feeding of their own done if anybody outside of LA gave a fuck about them.

3) What do the Yankees call a $1,250 seat? Half-price.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh god, that's great!! That's priceless! Did you write that yourself? Great stuff, there. Great stuff.  Leno couldn't have said it better himself.

4) Torii Hunter! Say anything! Down with the bland corporate personalities of Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez and Mark Teixeira!

Down with professionalism! Down with complete sentences! Give me an energetic black guy who yells and screams in the dugout and flips his bat triumphantly over every home run he hits, no matter how big or a small a moment it is in the course of a game, as long as he's on the team I root for!

5) If the Angels and Dodgers win, how cool would it be to see Gail and Dave Weaver rooting their boys on, wearing those custom-designed, half-Angels, half-Dodgers jerseys?

About as cool as it was watching AJ Hawk's sister wearing the stupid half-Ohio St., half-Notre Dame jersey in the 2006 Fiesta Bowl. But yeah, I could see how watching a couple of old farts cheer their kids on from the luxury box would be cooler than seeing Joe Torre return to Yankee Stadium to match wits against his former team and its manager who used to play for him.

6) Can you imagine the disgusted looks on the faces of New Yorkers if Joe Torre gets into the World Series and the Yankees do not? Better yet: Jeff Weaver gets into the World Series and the Yankees do not.

Don't get yourself all erect over New Yorkers' misery, Bill. They would be just as pissed if their team doesn't make it regardless of which team does. And unlike you and Red Sox fans, real Yankee fans don't live in the past. We could give a shit about Jeff Weaver and what he does, whether it's making it to the World Series or dying of swine flu.

7) The Angels have the rally monkey. The Yankees have bleacher creatures.

Excellent point. A self-motivated fanbase that cheers the players of their team on at all moments of the game, starting always with the iconic player roll call in the top of the first vs. a lame gimmick that stopped being cute about 3 hours after it was covered on SportsCenter back in 2002.  Lame gimmick by a landslide.

8) The Yankees charge $20 for a stadium tour. No game included.

That's because there's stuff at Yankee Stadium that people are willing to pay 20 bucks to see. Nobody's flocking to the Angels Hall of Fame to check out the career stats of Jim Fregosi, Brian Downing, and Chuck Finely. And what bearing does tour prices have on who you should root for in a game? Anybody who's more interested in stadium tours than ALCS games should have their MLB fan license revoked.

9) Biggest contracts in baseball history: 1. Rodriguez ($275 million); 2. Rodriguez ($252 million); 3. Jeter ($189 million); 4. Teixeira ($180 million); 5. CC Sabathia ($161 million).

Ahh, the old "boo-hoo, the Yankees spend too much" routine; haven't heard that one before. If every team had the money the Yankees do, they would spend it too and that's a fact. End of story. Don't be bitter because you couldn't scrap together enough cash to keep CC and Teix in town.

10) The Angels have won the World Series more recently than the Yankees. America loves a winner.

The Yankees are the most winningest franchise in professional sports history, and have been for 100 years. That's why the big time Cuban and Japanese free agents always want to come to the Yankees; they know that's where the spotlight is and where it's always going to be. The World loves a winner.


So there you have it. No statistical breakdowns, no analysis, no insight, just the same tired reasoning with some old-fashioned homerism sprinkled in. All I have to say is the Angels should be thanking God that the ALCS is won on the field and doesn't come down to a battle between team beat writers because if it did, the Yanks would sweep the series before it even got started.

Dustin Pedroia Is A Dick

BOSTON -- If Boston had won on Sunday, the way Dustin Pedroia turned a double play in the sixth inning would have been a highlight.

Instead, the double play that Pedroia could not make in the eighth became an issue. And Pedroia took a couple swipes at the grounds crew because of it.

In the eighth inning, with runners on first and second, and one out, the slow-footed Kendry Morales hit a hard grounder toward the hole between first and second.

Pedroia hustled to his left, but the ball bounced up on him. He could only knock it down and throw Morales out at first. Both runners then scored on Juan Rivera's single.

Two costly runs that Pedroia knows would not have scored if he fielded the grounder cleanly.

"It took a bad hop," Pedroia said. "Our infield (stinks). It's the worst in the game."

Pedroia was obviously peeved, but did not back away from his statement.

"I'm not lying about that. That is true. I think about those things. That stuff upsets me," Pedroia said. "My job is to take 1,000 groundballs a day. Other guys' job is to get the field perfect so we can play baseball." (story courtesy of The Morning Sentinel, whatever the fuck that is)



So much for scrappiness and heart, huh?  This would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.  I mean come on, the infield is bad?  The grounds crew is the reason you guys lost on Sunday?  Pedroia would have been better off saying the sun got in his eyes on the gounder or the wind took it.  But the grounds crew?  If you're going to blame them, why not take a swipe at the batboys for brings the wrong balls to the umpires, or the clubhouse attendants for not having enough gum and sunflower seeds in the dugout?  Now that I think about it, the pretzel vendor in section 44 only gave 2 packets of mustard to the guy in Row 13, Seat 12 instead of 3 so he's just as much to blame for the loss as those godamn lazy fucking grounds crew assholes, right?

It's sad that this is the team that has been held up on a pedestal for the last 5 years as the pinnacle of what a professional sports organization is supposed to be.  When Robinson Cano fudges a play at second, he doesn't blame anybody.  He blows a fucking bubble of his Bazooka Joe and goes out and makes an even slicker-looking play next time.  When Jeter fucks up a throw from short, he stands right there with the mics and cameras in his face after the game and points the finger squarely at himself.  Say what you want about the money the Yankees spend, but don't ever say they make excuses.  Injuries, bad calls, errors, it all has happened to the Yanks over the last couple seasons and they just kept their nose to the grindstone, fixed their issues, and got back to where they rightfully belong.  And they took every misstep and bump in the road along the way in stride, acknowledged it, and moved forward.

The Boston Red Sox are the most fraudulent team in sports.  They bitch, step back, shake their heads, and mouth off to the umpire at every pitch called a strike when they're at the plate and every pitch called a ball when their on the mound.  They're rosters have now been proven to be full of just as many big-time roiders as any other team in the Steroid Era (and that's not counting all those ex-Sox who haven't been outed- Jason Varitek, Keith Foulke, Trot Nixon, Alan Embree, Mike Timlin, etc.).  And as soon as something goes wrong, they're all collectively looking to point the finger at whoever is closest, be it the umpires, their opponents, or their own grounds crew, who get paid peanuts compared to what they make to do real, actual work at shitty hours, without the benefit of scheduled off-days, signing bonuses, or bonus clauses built into their contracts.

Newsflash, Dustin, your field isn't perfect and neither is anybody else's in Major League Baseball.  Bad hops happen all the time across the league and occassionally they have an impact on the outcome on the game.  Occassionally that game happens to be the one that your team goes on to lose, thereby knocking you out the playoffs, but it isn't your fault and it isn't the grounds crew's fault.  You said "I think about those things.  That stuff upsets me."  Why don't you stop thinking about the field conditions and think about keeping your head on the ball and making the fucking play, and if you don't make the play, for whatever reason, then shut the fuck up.

The fact of the matter is, your team didn't get it done in Games 1 and 2, and your closer didn't get it done in Game 3, where you were still holding the lead, even after the double play that wasn't.  There's nobody to blame but yourselves.  But if you need somebody to share those sour grapes with, I hear Joe Nathan is still looking for somebody to listen to his excuses.

Or you could use your extra free time you have now that you're out of the postseason to study up on the fundamentals of fielding.  I hear those Tom Emanski videos are still pretty good.

You Think WHO Is Going to Win?

Well, well, well.  Without Boston's nuts to hug, it looks like ESPN is looking for a team to whom they can latch on, evidenced by their ALCS Predictions.

Nice try, fellas, but there's no room left on the bandwagon.  You had your fucking chance all season but were still too blinded by the diamonds in the Red Sox 2004 and 2007 championship rings to see what was right in front of your faces, and now there simply aren't any vacancies left at the Yankee Hotel.

Gammons, Kurkjian, and Phillips should be especially ashamed of their turncoat-ness.  Blatantly trying to suckle from the teat of success is grounds for having their Red Sox Nation membership card revoked.  What would Theo think if he were to see this?  Shame, shame.  Buster can talk about the Yankees all he wants because he still has a little credibility left but the rest of you?  Just keep wiping the tears away and get to the back of the line.

There is only one spokesman for the Yankees at ESPN and his name is Brian Kenny. 

The rest of you will just have to live with the decisions you've made and try to apply for membership again next year.

SportsCenter's Top 10 Things ESPN Can Do to Keep Mentioning the Red Sox Even Though They're Out of the Postseason

It's no secret that there's a Mariana Trench-sized gap left in the SportsCenter and ESPN programming schedule in general now that their beloved Red Sox were knocked out of the playoffs.  Luckily for the Worldwide Leader, that fateful event happened on a Sunday, allowing them the benefit of conveniently burying the coverage of the Sox's beatdown and the Yankees' triumph underneath 30-40 minutes of regular season NFL coverage.   This actually benefited them two-fold: one, it allowed even more time for ESPN's gaggle of football "analysts" to verbally jerk off Brett Favre, and two, it gave Peter Gammons and Tim Kurkjian time to stop crying in each other's arms and regain their composure for Baseball Tonight. 

But the fact still remains that the ESPN baseball cupboard is bare without the Sox, so here's their plan to keep the Sox at the forefront of their postseason coverage in tonight's SportsCenter Top 10, sponsored by Miller Lite.  Great Taste, Less Filling.

10) Focus on Pedro Martinez's performance throughout the remainder of the postseason, since he is the most prominent former Red Sox player still in the postseason.

9) Pay the Red Sox to have Bill James come up with new formulas that can sabermetrically prove that Boston actually won their ALDS series against the Angels.
 
8) Break down Jonathan Papelbon's career stats against Mariano Rivera's to show that, by the time he retires, Papelbon will be remembered as the greatest closer that ever lived.
 
7) Have a 2-hour Baseball Tonight Special where Karl Ravech, John Kruk, Tim Kurkjian, and Peter Gammons all break down Red Sox players chances of winning every single award from MVP to Cy Young to Rookie of the Year to Comeback Player of the Year (even though it's already been awarded) to awards that don't even exist but were created by ESPN for the sole purpose of being able to give them to Red Sox players.
 

6) Force all ESPN temps and interns into a small conference room and give them only water and bread until they discover 20 random, quirky, unimportant baseball stats or records that the Red Sox set this year for Tim Kurkjian to orgasmically yelp about on the next installment of "Coors Light Cold Hard Facts."

 
5) Blatantly replace every hat on every baseball player's headshot for the remainder of the playoffs with a Red Sox hat.

4) Show old footage of Papelbon closing out a game against the Angels from last year's playoffs and pass it off as what happened on Sunday so they can pretend Game 4 is actually tomorrow night. Secure an interview with Terry Francona where he is asked who his starter will be for Game 4 to really sell the ruse.

3) Work mentions of and comparisons to the Red Sox into coverage of other players and teams and topics that ESPN has a hard-on for, i.e.- Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, Tim Tebow, etc.

2) Cancel next week's Monday Night Football Game and have Mike Tirico, Jon Gruden, and Ron Jaworski call the play-by-play and provide commentary for a replay of the 2004 ALCS Game 4.

1) Replace the remainder of the "ESPN: 30 For 30" specials with a new, 1-hour, 29-week series devoted to the story of Jon Lester miraculously recovering from cancer.
 
 
Or they could just get over it and focus on the fact that the Yankees are the best team in baseball, have been for the majority of the season, and are the clear cut favorites to win the World Series and would have still been the favorites even if the Red Sox were still in the playoffs.
 
Don't fight it, ESPN, let your hate out.  Give in to  the powers of the Dark Side...

Let Us Know How The Courses Are Playing

The thrill of victory.

The agony of defeat.

No dancing around in your compression shorts?  No cigar?  No Dropkick Murphys?  What happened, little buddy?

Seriously though, Jon, you did the right thing.  It would have been even more embarrassing to get torn apart by the Yankees for a fourth series in a row.  Deep down you know that and your team knows that.  Dustin Pedroia may have said he wasn't ready for the series to be over yesterday, but you clearly were.  So enjoy the rest of the postseason from the armchair.  Watch Mo and take some notes, asshat.

AB4AR's Week 5 NFL Wrap-Up

Week 5 Recap


Cincinnati 17 Baltimore 14

Cincy's offense surprisingly dominated by racking up 413 yards and holding down Joe Flacco and what had been an explosive Ravens' offense as the Bengals vaulted to the top of the AFC North, knocking Baltimore down a few pegs in the process. Carson Palmer is suddenly the king of the 4th-quarter comeback drive for the Bengals who make the "Hard Knocks" curse look more and more obsolete each week. Any if anybody says they had the Bengals at 4-1 and atop the division after 5 weeks, they're fucking lying.

Carolina 20 Washington 17

Jake Delhomme actually completed more passes to his team than the opposition this week and Carolina's defense got the remedy it needed to get back on track by facing the bumbling Redskins and soon-to-be-official bust, Jason Campbell. Washington just never seems to stay consistent, even within games; every week they find a way to blow games they are leading and come back to win games they're losing.

Philadelphia 33 Tampa Bay 14

Donovan McNabb showed no rust in his return to the lineup (see how it's done, Tom Brady?) as the Eagles ransacked Tampa. Jeremy Maclin's 6 catches, 142 yards, and 2 TDs helped McNabb's cause. Kellen Winslow was given the Congressional Medal of Honor and the Purple Heart after the game for his soldier-like 9-catch, 102-yard, 2TD performance in defeat.

NY Giants 44 Oakland 7

Oakland is absolutely pathetic. They would lose by fewer points if they just forfeited each game at the beginning. Head Coach Tom Cable should probably think about threatening to kill himself rather than his assistants after the way his team has performed in the early season. It's not often you see an NFL game playing out like a USC-San Jose St. game (QB only playing the first half; RB gaining 110 yards and 2TDs on just 11 carries).

Minnesota 38 St. Louis 10

Turnovers actually killed the Rams in this game more than their usual suckiness did as they actually outgained Minnesota. Brett Favre is having more praise heaped on him after another solid performance, but let's be honest here; you could throw Terry Schiavo out there and she'd be putting up good numbers if she was playing against the Browns, Lions, Packers, and Rams in 4 out of her team's first 5 games.

Dallas 26 Kansas City 20 (OT)

Tony Romo discovered that if he throws the ball to Miles Austin (10 catches, 250 yards, 2 TDs) instead of the other team, his team stands a chance to win the game. It still doesn't say much about the Cowboys being contenders when it takes overtime to beat the lowly Chiefs though. Chiefs coach Todd Haley was so upset after the game that he took everyone's reserved parking spots away at the team facility, including his own.

Pittsburgh 28 Detroit 20

The Steelers finally manage to do something that they, and I, have struggled with all season, sealing the deal. The Lions were game behind backup QB Daunte Culpepper, but in the end the Steelers managed to hold on and get a much-needed win. Ben Roethlisberger, clearly inspired by his teaming up with D-Generation X earlier this week on WWE RAW, carved up the Lions' secondary to the tune of 300+ yards and 3 TDs.

Cleveland 6 Buffalo 3

I'm still trying to convince myself that this game didn't actually happen because the numbers are way scarier than anything you could experience at Halloween. Browns' QB Derek Anderson finished with a 2-17 day with 23 yards. Let that really sink in for a minute. They guy played 60 minutes of football and managed to complete 2 passes. AND HIS TEAM WON THE GAME!!!!!!!!!! What does that say about how bad Trent Edwards played??? For the sake of the league, Commissioner Goodell needs to mandate that all Browns and Bills games for the rest of the season be played out in simulation mode of Madden so that nobody has to experience something this awful again.

Seattle 41 Jacksonville 0

Matt Hasselbeck dominated the Jags' D in his return, making it a clean sweep for QBs coming back from broken ribs and possibly inspiring some other QBs to break their ribs just to help their teams win. More incredible than Seattle's offensive output was the revelation that their team actually does have a defense. I'm not kidding, they shut down Maurice Jones-Drew and everything. Who woulda thunk it?

Arizona 28 Houston 21

Arizona's defense pulled a Mariano Rivera and saved the win for their team with a late interception return for a touchdown and a goal line stand. Of course this was after they did their best Jonathan Papelbon impression and blew what was a 21-0 3rd quarter lead, but hey, what else did you expect from Arizona. This just in, Andre Johnson is good.

Atlanta 45 San Francisco 10

Matty Ice was back in business yesterday and he made the Flavor-of-the-Week 49ers look like a steaming helping of brussel sprouts with the help of his receivers and defense. The Matt Ryan-Roddy White combo is starting to look like the next Montana-Rice right now, which bodes well for the Falcons moving forward. '9er coach Mike Singletary, invoking memories of last season's pants-dropping incident, teabagged QB Shaun Hill in the locker room after the loss to show his players that this type of performance was not acceptable.

Denver 20 New England 17 (OT)

Champ Bailey proved once again that he is still the best cover corner in the league, even at age 73, with his shutdown of Randy Moss yesterday. The Pats continue to be an enigma as the offense can't decide when it wants to execute and score and the defense can't decide when it's going to shut opponents down or give up huge chunks of yardage and extended drives with the game on the line. On the positive side for Coach Belichick, at least one of the branches on his coaching tree finally seems to have sprouted fruit.

Indianapolis 31 Tennessee 9

SuperManning puts on another embarrassingly good performance for the 5-0 Colts and the Titans put on another embarrassingly bad defensive performance as they drop to 0-5. Since they clearly have shown they aren't willing to hand the keys back over to Vince Young, they have to be content knowing their awful play gives them a good shot at Sam Bradford in the 2010 draft. But still, the Titans' offense is so bad right now that they're...(don't say it)...even...(fight it, fight it)...deader...(bite your tongue)...than...(come on, that's a low blow)...Steve McNair. There, I said it. 2 Steve McNair death jokes in a row. How do ya like them apples?


MNF Prediction

NY Jets 27 Miami 13

Rex Ryan is going to have his defense ready to play on the team's first Monday night appearance this year, especially coming off a loss. Miami has to be hoping the Jets won't mind if they put Ronnie Brown, Ricky Williams, Ted Ginn, Chad Henne, and Dan Marino in the backfield all at once to try to score some points. Braylon Edwards got acquainted with his new teammates by punching them all in the face at a team dinner Friday night.


MNF Predictions for the season (Winners): 4-1

Game 3/Series Thoughts

* Andy Pettitte probably just earned himself another one year deal for next year, and at more than the $5.5million bargain bin price the Yankees got him for last season, if he decides he wants to come back after his performance last night. It was like watching Andy circa 1998 or '99; his fastball was lively and he wasn't afraid to throw it up, in, or both, and his cutter and off-speed stuff had plenty of bite on it. There were only a handful of good swings off him all night and in a regular season game there's no doubt he finishes the 7th and maybe beyond.

* It obviously wasn't the way I and many other Yankee fans envisioned facing Carl Pavano last night, but after thinking about it, it's almost better that they beat him the way they did. After saying he had something to go out and prove to NY fans, Pavano was lights out through 6 innings before getting a few balls up in the zone that cost him. In the end, he did prove something to the Yankees and their fans; he proved that even at his best he still isn't good enough to hack it for New York. It will be interesting to see which team gets blinded by the first 6 innings and decides to throw a 3-year contract at him which they'll end up regretting. My money is on the pitching-strapped Mets, who were practically picking people out of the crowd to throw at the end of the season.

* Funny how all the Nick Punto ball-sucking by Caray and Darling stopped after he got thrown out at third, huh? Guess the million intangibles he brings to the game don't include picking up your third base coach. My uncle brought up a great point while we were texting after that play that definitely warrants mentioning here; The reason A-Rod was so excited after tagging out Punto on that play was because he never would have thought to do that; he just doesn't think on his feet the same way Jeter does and he knows it. My money would have been on A-Rod making the play in the hole and trying to force the out at first, throwing the ball away in the process and allowing the run to score. It's those kind of plays (throwing home on Punto, calling for the ball to tag out Gomez at 2nd) that separate Jeter from his peers. There's no way to document them in the statistics, but those 2 plays had just as much to do with the Yankees winning than A-Rod's home runs did.

* The demons of bad starting pitching were exercised in this series as all 3 starters turned in solid performances that allowed the Yankees to score the runs they needed to win. Combined, CC, A.J., and Andy went 19 innings, allowing just 14 hits and 6 walks, 3 earned runs, and 21Ks for a 2-0 record, 1.42 ERA, and 1.05 WHIP. When you have a deep bullpen and get starting pitching like that, you don't need to score too many runs.

* And it's a good thing the Yankees didn’t need to score too many runs because they didn't. Take away Jeter and A-Rod and the Yanks were a combined 14-82 in the series (an awful .171 average) with 2 home runs and just 7 RBIs. They got the hits when they needed them, but the Yankees patience played into the Twins' strategy in this series as they were always swinging from behind in the count and not putting good swings on the good pitches to hit that they did get. An offensive output like that might not cut it against the Angels, whose 1-7 in the batting order is just as dangerous as New York's.

* Phil Hughes has finally come back to Earth in his first big-time playoff experience. 2 innings of work in the series, 5 hits, 1 walk, 2 earned runs, and 3 strikeouts on 60 pitches. I don't care who you are, 60 pitches in 2 innings of work is not good and it's been Hughes' inability to put guys away with 2 strikes and get out of the inning quick after getting 2 outs that has hurt him. He's been too picky out there with 2 strikes, trying to overthink the play instead of just attacking the hitters with gas like he has all season. The Yankees need to get him back on track for the next series.

* I can't say much about his ability as a late-game stopper out of the bullpen, but with that badass neck tattoo, Jon Rauch would certainly fit in as a member of the MC on "Sons of Anarchy."
* Looking forward, the Yanks are set up perfectly to have their rotation intact for the beginning of the ALCS and now that they have committed to Joba in the pen, it should be a no-brainer picking Chad Gaudin as the Game 4 starter. He was a better starting pitcher down the stretch for the Yanks anyway and if Joe can manage the bullpen and off-days as well as he did this past series, he can make sure he has plenty of arms available if Gaudin falters.

The most important thing, however, will be to get the offense going. Damon looked lost out there in this series, Melky looked overmatched, and Swisher was downright awful. I know he's pushing for another contract next season, but I would give series consideration to sitting Damon in favor of Brett Gardner for a game to try and get a spark if Damon continues to struggle. Otherwise, we could be looking at the beginning of the Austin Jackson Era next year.

One Down...

Well it wasn't the massacre I and most other Yankee fans were hoping for, but in the end the Yankees did what they did all series: waited, waited, waited, and then pounced when the opportunity presented itself.  Andy was on, and the bullpen was stout again, showing Minnesota how to hold a lead.

Check back tomorrow morning for a full Game 3/Series recap...

A Message To Carl Pavano

Hey Carl,

How's it going?  Good to see you on the mound again, us Yankee fans had almost forgotten what that looked like.  But it must be nice to find yourself back pitching in the postseason.  Good for you.

Now I know you were technically a Yankee for 4 years so you know the kinds of struggles and glaring team flaws they've had over that time period.  But if you think this year's team has those same issues and you're just going to cruise into the Metrodome tonight, say your hellos to your old teammates and then dominate them for 7 or 8 innings, you're sadly mistaken.  And if you think the guys on this team have forgotten about how bad you fucked them and the organization for the 4 years that you were here, robbing the team of much-needed pitching depth and robbing Mr. Steinbrenner of his $39.95 million, you're even more sadly mistaken.

These are not the Yankees you used to know and used to be a part of.  What they did to Joe Nathan on Friday night was just a preview of what they're planning on doing to you tonight.  Listen and understand, Carl.  They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity or remorse or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

Good luck tonight, chief.