Big Sloppi Is A Great Clubhouse Leader

It's been a pretty hectic season for the Fraud Sawx, what with Bobby V joining the fold and being a general jackass, injuries and underperformance keeping the roster in constant turmoil, and the team spending most of their time in the AL East cellar.  Luckily they've got veteran leader David Ortiz to help rally the team together against all of that.

"If you go crazy and give contracts to whoever comes along despite not knowing how they're going to do, then you don't give me my due consideration, even though I do my thing every year, fuck that."

"It was humiliating. There's no reason a guy like me should go through that.  All I was looking for was two years, at the same salary ($12.5 million).  They ended up giving me $3 million more than that (actually $2.025 million), and look at my numbers this year. Tell me if they wouldn't have been better off."

"And yet they don't hesitate to sign other guys. It was embarrassing."

Damn right, David!  It IS crazy to go out and give big contracts to guys without knowing how they're going to do.  Like a guy who had rapidly declining production for 3 straight seasons and then suddenly bounced back in 2010 right around the time he got mentioned in connections with PEDs.  Why would a team go out and sign guys in the primes of their career when they could have taken a bigger risk on an older player?  Fuck that indeed!

And I feel you on the humiliation.  It must have been humiliating as fuck to get a raise and ONLY make $15 million last season.  Just an absolute slap in the face to be one of the top earners in the game despite the fact that you only have to hit and don't even have to play defense.  I don't even understand how you left your house some days.  I would have hid my face in shame if I was disrespected like that.

And it's totally embarrassing that you have to bring up your own petty bullshit AGAIN during a team when your team is trying to climb back into the playoff and division races.  When are all your asshole loser teammates and dickhead upper management going to realize that YOU are more important than THE TEAM and WINNING???  The mid-point of the season is the PERFECT time for them to give you your due consideration.  A-fucking-men, bro!

I've said it before, and I'm going to say it again.  Can somebody, PLEEEEEASE, in the name of everything that is good and right in this world, hit this asshole this weekend?  Not even because he's speaking ill of the Yankees this time.  Just because he's such an insufferable piece of human shit.