When You Say "Catch," You Mean... ?

Jorge speaking to reporters on Saturday:

"I'll catch, I'll catch. I'll catch this year."

Catch what exactly, Jorge?  Catch pneumonia?  Catch the train?  Catch "The Social Network" before the Oscars to see if it's really that good?  What are you planning on catching this year?

Because I certainly hope you weren't referring to the act of strapping on the chest protector and shin guards, tugging on the mask, and squatting behind home plate to play catcher.  That would be a horrible idea, for you and the Yankees.  You are too old, too brittle, and your value at your age needs to be maximized by keeping you healthy and mashing at the plate, not dinged up and embarrassing yourself behind it.

At this point, I think it's safe to say you fall behind Martin, Cervelli, The Jesus, and even Austin Romine on the depth chart at catcher.  Shit, if it were up to me, and all those other guys were sick, injured, missing, or dead, I would call up Gary Sanchez from A-ball to catch before I considered putting you back there.  Just let it go, man.  You're done as a catcher.  But you can still be a damn good DH.  Embrace that role and just help Montero adjust and grow into the future catcher.

But don't give him any defensive advice.  We don't want you undoing all the hard work his coaches have already put in trying to improve his skills.