"Yea, the Red Sox are having themselves a nice offseason. Tip your hat to those fucking goobers because Gonzo and Crawford are legit. And no denying the Sox have a nice little lineup and a pretty nice little rotation right now. But I’m a fucking Yankee fan bro. And the day I start worrying about what the Red Sox are doing is going to be a cold, dark day in hell indeed.
Especially because the Yankees are about to sign this guy Cliff Lee. Maybe some of you have heard of him? He’s supposed to be pretty good. And all I know is that its going to be a great time watching CC and Cliff Lee mow down lefty after lefty in this fancy new Red Sox lineup. Just mow them all down like the Yankees have done to the Red Sox throughout the course of human history.
And these moves were 2 years in the making for Boston. Since Tex and CC, the Yankees just flat out had more big time talent on their team. You saw it when the Yankees won the World Series in 2009. And you saw it when Boston had too many injuries last year....
So I say its about time those fucking losers made some power moves. You didn’t need a brain surgeon to tell you John Lackey isn’t a difference maker."
... And then 90 minutes later, KFC drops some straight knowledge about how lame and hypocritical Red Sox fans are:
"And then my favorite is come April when they [Bostonians] want to flip a switch and become the blue collar Red Sox fans again. Come down from their holier than thou Ivory Tower as Pats fans and start to play the role of the “Idiots” and pretend they are a small market, underdog franchise. And like clockwork they start complaining about payroll and the Yankees buying players. When the Yankees signed CC, Tex and Burnett, I legit thought the Red Sox fans were never going to stop complaining. Best part is, that year the Yankees overall payroll went down when they did that. They reinvested a bunch of money, cut payroll by $8 million, and won a World Series, while all of New England just sat around crying. And then you look at the Sox payroll, which jumped $50 million between 2009 and 2010, and as of this morning they just spent another $300 million on two players."
Bravo, boys. Bravo indeed. I don't think I could have said it better myself. On a day like today I'm actually quite thankful that I'm not back home on the East Coast where I would have to listen to all the phony Red Sox fans walking around with their chests puffed out, talking like 2011 World Series was already in the bag or the sadsack subgroup of dumb Yankee fans who would be ready to jump off their roofs and kill themselves because the Sox added 2 big bats. And to be honest, I never even considered the fact that Boston is loading up their lineup with lefties for CC, Cliff, and Boone Logan to school next season.
The bottom line is, there's really nothing for the Red Sox or their fans to be proud of yet. They got all excited after the V-Mart trade in 2009 that was supposed to be the final piece they needed to get back to the World Series and instead they got their dicks knocked in the dirt by the Angels in the first round while the Yankees took home title 27. They got even more excited before 2010 when they brought in John Lackey, he of the 4.40 ERA, 1.42 WHIP, .277 BAA, 6.53 K/9, 99 ERA+, and 1.9 WAR in 2010, to "solidify" the rotation and watched their commitment to pitching and defense blow up in their face behind a rash of injuries.
Yeah, Boston's lineup looks better on paper for 2011. Congratu-fuckin'-lations. A lot of people thought the same thing going into '09 and 2010 and they ended up behind the Yankees both of those years. Let's let the rest of the offseason play out and wait until teams start playing again before we all just bow down and suck Theo Epstein's dick for the brilliant moves he made.
(I don't know how I've never seen this before, but I laughed my ass off when I saw it on Barstool NY today)
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