Reading Cash's Presser Between The Lines

(HELLOOOOOOOOO!!)

As always, Brian Cashman was dynamite on the mic today during his press conference, touching on a multitude of topics and delivering more than his fair share of killer lines.  It is in between those lines, however, where the real meaning to what Cash is saying lies.  I'll translate.

What He Said: "I don't have any health concerns with Alex.  His is a timing issue." (on The Horse's health)

What He Meant: "I don't have any health concerns with Alex because I've accepted the fact that he's a rapidly-breaking down older player no longer on HGH when he needs it the most.  I have concerns about how all these constant trips to the DL affect his timing at the plate over the course of the season and leave him stuck in so many slumps where he looks terrible."

What He Said: "I would not look at him as a reliever.  If he's with us, without a doubt he's in the rotation." (in regards to A.J. Burnett)

What He Meant: "A.J. really sucks.  But we can't waste a bullpen spot on him.  If the Steinbrenners would let me, I would trade A.J. for a 12-pack of hot dogs and some glove oil just to make sure he's not in our 2012 rotation."

What He Said: “I think he can be catching for us or he can obviously be DHing for us or a lethal bat off the bench for us. All of the above.” (in regards to Jesus Montero's position next year)

What He Meant: "Look, we're going to bring back Russell Martin, so it really makes the most sense to utilize Jesus' greatest skill as much as possible at the DH position.   Unfortunately, there are going to be days where A-Rod or Jeter or Teix has to DH and we probably will let Jesus rot on the bench during those games because we don't fully trust him as a catcher."

What He Said: “I’m not opposed to any of those guys coming back, I just can’t tell you what’s going to happen.” (in regards to Chavez, Garcia, and Colon coming back in 2012)

What He Meant: "We are not actively pursuing bringing any of these guys back next year.  But if it comes to that, we wouldn't mind having them back next year."

What He Said: "I think like with anything else, you learn over time… I think we’re more prepared today (to evaluate Japanese talent) than we have been in the past." (on scouting Yu Darvish)

What He Meant: "We fired every scout who looked at Kei Igawa from the organization and brought in all new people to scout Japan.  We're pretty sure we can't fuck up any worse with Darvish than we did with Igawa."

What He Said: "He is full bore, ready to go as a catcher. There are no issues there." (on Francisco Cervelli)

What He Meant: "Cervelli is VERY available.  Someone make us an offer for the guy so we can dump him and not have to carry 3 catchers next year."

I'm already on record as loving any press conference where Cash talks, and this one was no different.  But I appreciate how he changed things up here, went with more subtlety and subtext than usual.  Dude is just the master, and that's why it's great that he's going to be back for 3 more years.

(All quotes via Chad Jennings at LoHud)