Now That The Dust Has Settled...

I've had people talking to me about this since Tuesday afternoon wanting my 2 cents on the deal.  I even had inside information from a friend on Tuesday afternoon whose brother's roommate was good buddies with Curtis Granderson's cousin (as ludicrous as that sounds, it's actually true).  But I didn't want to start blabbing away at what a great deal this was for the Yanks until I knew it was going through.  And now that the Granderson trade is officially official, I'll take the time to discuss it.

When I first heard about the rumors of the trade a few weeks ago I thought it was a great move, when the "agreement in principle" was made on Tuesday I thought it was a great move, and now that it's a done deal I still think it's a great move for the Yankees.  Any way you look at it, there was really no downside to this trade.

First, a quick look at what the Yankees gave up:

- Ian Kennedy: a young starting pitching prospect who bombed big time in his first Major League test and spent the better part of last season in the minors dealing with an aneurysm.  He had once been considered a blue-chip prospect in the same regard as Joba and Phil Hughes but his Major League experiences and performance to this point shows him to be a 4th or 5th-starter in the Majors at best.  Considering the bevy of talent that the Yanks still have in the minors at SP, no big loss.  Except that I lose my chance to do the
"MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...KENNEDY!!!!!.........Kennedy!!"-
jokes next season.

- Phil Coke: another young pitcher who burst onto the scene and established himself as the Yankees' main lefty reliever last season after Damaso Marte was hurt for pretty much the entire regular season.  Showed flashes of brilliance and better than average stuff, but battled bouts of inconsistency and did have the tendency to give up the long ball more often than you'd like to see from a lefty specialist type.  With Marte's resurgence in the playoffs, the Yanks managing to keep Michael Dunn from being part of this trade, and the fact that teams change lefty relievers like people change socks, giving up Coke is another acceptable loss.

-Austin Jackson: the #1 positional prospect in the Yankees farm system, Jackson was being looked at as a potential replacement for Johnny Damon on next year's roster should he have decided to go elsewhere, but the belief in the organization was that A-Jax still needed a year in Triple-A to refine his skills.  While widely regarded as having All-Star potential, questions about Jackson's power, high strikeout rate, and outfield play still made him a bit of a question mark.  While it sucks to have to give him up, when there are as many questions as answers about what a prospect will become and the player you're getting back for him is an established star at the same position, it takes the sting out of the loss quite a bit.

When you really break it down, the Yankees actually gave away less with 3 guys than the D-Backs did with 2.  Arizona dumped a potential #1/#2-in-the-rotation starter and a reliever with big-time stuff that could have translated into a closer role down the road.  The Yanks gave up one major contributor from last year's World Series-winning club that is easily replaced and 2 guys who are still unknowns.  And in what the Yankees got back in return for what they gave up, you have to look at them as big winners in this deal.

In Curtis Granderson you have a guy with 30-30 potential (maybe 40-40 thanks to the short porch in right) because of his blazing speed and great lefty power who is a prototypical centerfielder with better range and a better arm than what the Yankees already had out there, and at 28 is entering the prime of his career.  By all accounts he is a great guy with a personality that should fit like a glove in the Big Apple, and he already has relationships with Derek Jeter and Nick Swisher which means he should fit seamlessly into the clubhouse.  Oh, and did I mention he has a more than reasonable contract for the next couple years?  You couldn't ask for a better piece to add to the fold.

Sure he strikes out a lot (141 last season), but so does Mark Teixeira, and he only finished 2nd in the AL MVP voting this past year.  Sure he doesn't hit lefties well (.183 last season in 180 at-bats), but the Yankees are chock full of guys who punish lefty pitching and can surely teach him a few things.  The Yankees already ruled out the possibility that his eyes are shit, so all the dude needs is a few sessions in the cage with Cano and Kevin Long and he'll be money.  The bottom line is, Curtis Granderson makes the Yankees just as explosive offensively as they were last season while making them much better defensively and even more dangerous on the basepaths than they were last season. 

Granderson's better range and arm than Melky makes him the obvious choice at center and allows Melky to move to left, where his range and arm is a great improvement over Johnny Damon.  Factor in that Swish is a more than capable outfielder in right and suddenly the Yankees become a much younger, faster, more dangerous outfield in terms of covering ground in the gaps to take away extra base hits and throwing guys out who try to stretch balls hit into the gaps.  Think A.J. Burnett won't like having Granderson out there next year when he makes a diving catch in left center that saves 2 runs in what could have turned into a classic A.J. Burnett Meltdown-inning?

On the basepaths he should be an big threat to pitchers and an even bigger asset to those hitting behind him as pitchers will be forced to pay more attention to him than they did to Damon last year, and Damon was no slouch himself.  Plop Grandy into Damon's spot in the 2-hole and guys are going to have to decide how they want to get beat; by focusing on Granderson and risking walking or serving up meatballs to Teix and the A-Horse or by focusing on the batters and letting Granderson run around the bases like a kid on Family Day at the park and constantly set up RISP situations for the big boppers.  Granderson scored 91 runs last year on a team that was 10th in the AL in runs scored and in the bottom half of almost every offensive category.  How many can he score with Teix, A-Hud, Jorge, Cano, and Swish hitting behind him?  120?  130?

And not only will Granderson help the Yankees on the field next year, he's already helping them off the field this year.  Having him in the fold gives the Yankees leverage over both Damon and Matsui.  Now if they don't want to come back on the Yankees' terms then they can go their merry ways and the Yankees are no weaker for it.  If they decide they want to win more titles and come back for reasonably-priced, single-year contracts, the Yankees are suddenly stocked with bats and have all kinds of lineup flexibility for any situation, be it lefty starters, off-days, injuries, you name it.

So there you have it.  Curtis Granderson was a great pickup and the Yankees were able to do it without giving up what I believe are still their 3 best pieces of trade bait in Joba, Hughes, and Montero.  They also stuck to the trend they started last offseason by getting a younger guy heading into the prime of his career instead of the twilight.  Between this trade and the Pettitte signing, Cash looks like he style has his Midas Touch from last year and it's now officially 3 great moves in less than a week.

Next up on the list...bringing Damon back for $10 mil next year with a player option for 2011 to be the DH/4th outfielder.

UConn-Kentucky Thoughts and Afterthoughts

* Can someone explain to me why this game was tipping at 9:37PM EST? Especially when the previous game was the Bulls-Hawks debacle? I could understand relegating UK-UConn to 2nd-banana duty if the first game was UNC-Purdue, but to bump to top-15 teams to a late start at Madison Square Garden for the Chicago Bulls is ludicrous.

* The first 8 minutes of the game told you everything you need to know about the Huskies this season. First 4 had nothing but turnovers, missed shots, bad transition defense, no rebounding, and a 12-0 deficit; the next 4 had better defense and rebounding, transition baskets, slashing to the rim, crashing the offensive boards, and a 16-4 run to tie the game. There's no middle ground with this team this year, it's nothing or everything.

* He's laying it on a little too thick with this "we're actually 4-5"-routine, but John Calipari's assessment of his team is spot on. Their inability to run a half-court offense and consistently knock down shots helped nurse UConn back into the game by playing right into the transition game that the Huskies want to get into. If that's a more experience team on the floor, UConn goes into the half down 20.

* That being said, the Huskies' half-court offense, if that's what you want to call it, is exactly why they couldn't pull away and hold the lead they gained in the first half; there's no ball movement, even less player movement, and too much dribbling around the perimeter. If you aren't going to even attempt jump shots because you know you can't make them, you better damn well get some inside-outside passing and backdoor cutting going instead of having all 5 guys stand and look at each other.

* What the fuck ESPN? How do you lose the feed for the last couple minutes of the first half? You aren't broadcasting from some remote satellite feed on Mars, you're in fucking Madison Square Garden!! How does that happen? Having a play-by-play man in Dan Shulman who doesn't call the play-by-play doesn't translate well to a broadcast with no picture.

* Dick Vitale was all over UConn from about the halfway point of the first half on about not taking any jump shots, but the stats and shot charts showed that Kentucky wasn't making any either. When Dyson made his first 3 in the 2nd half, it was the first 3 for either team so the Wildcats weren't exactly putting on a shooting clinic either. But hey, whoever said Vitale was a good analyst?

* Outside of having no shooters, UConn's biggest issue this year is their interior game. Basically they have a lot of big bodies, but no "big men." Sticks was MIA last night save for a 150-second stretch in the 2nd half, Oriakhi plays like he's 5'8" instead of 6'8", and Charles Okwandu is Charles Okwandu. Even Gavin isn't immune to getting pushed around here and there on rebound attempts. The Huskies' rebounding strategy resembles that of a 3rd-grade rec league team: shot goes up and everybody runs directly under the basket instead of finding a body and boxing out, and lo and behold the rebound sails over their heads or just beyond the outstretched reach of their one-armed attempts. Ater Majok could not have become eligible at a better time. Get that guy on the court, stat!

* Before we get to the skewering of the frontcourt, though, we will pause to heap some praise on Gavin Edwards. I don't know where this guy has been the last 3 seasons, but Gavin Edwards version Senior.0 is a human truck stick. He plays tough interior D, is a smart shot blocker, rebounds aggressively (even if his form and positioning isn't great), runs the floor and fills the lane better than any college big man this side of Blake Griffin, and has developed some post moves that make him a threat in the half-court offense. Most importantly, he hustles every time up and down the floor; that block of a Kentucky fast break dunk attempt early in the first half was a thing of beauty. With the way the rest of these scrubs are playing, the Huskies are going to need Gavin to keep playing at this level.

* For a guy who NBADraft.net had moved into their lottery for next year's draft, Stanley Robinson got absolutely torched by Patrick Patterson yesterday. Patterson stepped up and played tough under the spotlight, showcasing a well-rounded inside and outside game that now features a respectable 3-pointer while Sticks just showed that he's a lanky guy with a great vertical leap who can't shoot himself out of a paper bag, AKA the same guy he was when he came onto campus 4 years ago.

* Jerome Dyson is the basketball equivalent to the new Droid cell phone; he does everything. My only question is when will the Droid's major glaring weakness start to show itself, because early in this season Dyson's already has (free throw shooting).

* And after Dyson's missed dunk attempt in the 2nd half that would have brought the Huskies back within one and possibly shifted momentum and energy back towards them, nobody will ever be confusing him for Dominique Wilkins. Dyson took off from way too far away and front rimmed the dunk so bad that it's a miracle he didn't end up hurting himself.

* And now for the "Ragging on Charles Okwandu" portion of the show:

God that guy fucking sucks. An absolute waste of a 7-foot body. I've never seen anybody get pushed around in the post so easily; he's like the black Shawn Bradley. He very well might be the worst post defender in basketball history; he lets the offensive player establish position immediately and doesn't even fight him for it, he lets his man catch the entry pass and immediately push him back 2-3 feet, he never establishes a wide base or pushes back on his man, and he always jumps into his guy on shot attempts to pick up cheap fouls. And that's not even adding in the fact that if the shot is missed, he's been pushed so far under the hoop that the only rebound he's getting is catching the ball as the second attempt goes through the basket. Just an absolute waste of space and an insult to the game of basketball. What the fuck has he been doing for the last 2 years on campus? I just dumped my cup of coffee over my head.

* Just an awful foul by Oriakhi on Wall on the 3-point play that gave Kentucky the lead for good. You can't let Wall get that shot off to even give him a chance at a 3-point play; if you have to grab a camera from somebody under the basket and hit Wall with it WWE-style, you can't let him get that shot off. You have to hammer Wall, put him on his back, and make him earn his 2 points at the line. Oriakhi was slow getting to the spot and instead of jumping full-on into Wall and crushing him, he tried to half-jump into him and stretch his arms out instead of coming down with them hard across Wall's arms. I know the kid is a freshman, but come on, he's a BFD and he's gotta start throwing his weight around at some point. If you can't do it against a skinny little PG, how are you going to bang with the big boys in the Big East for 20 games?

* In the end it was the same story for UConn that it always is in their losses: too many turnovers and too many missed free throws. As bad as their offense was, they still only lost the game by 3 points. If you subtract half of John Wall's steals that were gift wrapped for him by shitty passes and make half the foul shots you missed, you win the game by 10. It's that simple. I know it's no excuse, but you have to wonder if Kemba and Dyson being tired at the end of games has anything to do with their struggles at the stripe. Calhoun has shown no willingness to get Trice and Smith in the game and he's wearing his 2 horses out already.

* He's still got a lot to learn, but John Wall is gooooooooooooooooood. I've never seen a guard with such a quick first step and he can kick that extra gear in from a stand still, a jog, or a sprint, like he did on his game-winning drive. His passes are crisp, his range is already light years ahead of Derrick Rose's and Chris Paul's during their freshman years, and he plays with the balls-out attitude you want in your PG. As this season goes on he'll learn to be more situational with his aggression and run the offense better, but there's no doubt this kid is going to be a monster at the next level and should be the Number 1 pick in June.

* What the fuck was up with the last 26 seconds of the game??? No inbounds play coming out of a timeout that forces them to burn another timeout, no set play once you get the ball inbounds, no cutters or ball movement by Kemba, and then a 10-second clusterfuck of a last possession after getting a rebound that results in Gavin Edwards lobbing up a 3 that had than a snowball's chance of going in.

If I can go into Mad Dog mode again, "What is Jim Calhoun doing out there?? What is he doing out there? You got freshmen and sophomores running all over the floor, set up a PLAY. SET UP A PLAY!!! Bad job in a big spot by Jimmy there, Mike. Bad job by Calhoun in a big spot."

I really don't know what UConn does in practice and I'm not going to pretend I do, but when you go into a game against a young team and have no set plan on offensive to exploit anything other than dribbling around the perimeter and just hoping your guards can penetrate, and never have your big men in the right spots on either side of the floor, and have 2 seniors who don't lead the team, and just have an overall lack of composure in close games, that all falls on the coaching staff to fix those problems.

I said before the season that Calhoun was going to have to coach this team up this year; he doesn't have a team of high basketball-IQ guys who know how to handle situations and he was going to have to develop that sense in his guys through coaching. So far this season he doesn't seem to be doing that and it becomes more and more obvious that this team doesn't have it within itself to make those adjustments in-game when they come up against a good opponent. If this season is going to amount to anything, Jimbo's going to need to stop yanking guys every 30 seconds, grab a clipboard, and draw up some fucking plays. Otherwise the Huskies will just be what they are right now, a middle-of-the-pack team who can't hang with the big boys.

Yanks Re-Sign Pettitte, Continue To Prove My Genius

INDIANAPOLIS -- Andy Pettitte is staying with the New York Yankees, agreeing to an $11.75 million, one-year contract.

The deal Wednesday represents a raise for the 37-year-old left-hander, who made $10.5 million last season and helped the Yankees win their 27th World Series title.

Pettitte became the first pitcher to start and win the clincher in all three postseason rounds. After beating Minnesota and the Los Angeles Angels in the AL playoffs, he defeated the Philadelphia Phillies on three days' rest in the sixth and final game of the World Series, earning his fifth championship ring.

Pettitte was 14-8 with a 4.16 ERA in 32 regular-season starts, and 4-0 with a 3.52 ERA in five postseason starts. His 18 postseason victories are a major league record.

He had a $5.5 million base salary last season and earned $3 million in bonuses based on innings and $2 million for staying on the active roster the entire season. He missed $750,000 bonuses for 200 and 210 innings, finishing with 194 2/3.

New York originally offered him $10 million last December but cut the guaranteed amount after it agreed to big-money contracts with CC Sabathia, A.J. Burnett and Mark Teixeira.

Pettitte's return doesn't mean the Yankees will end their pursuit of Roy Halladay. A baseball official with knowledge of the Yankees' plans told 1050 ESPN New York's Andrew Marchand the team is "still in on it" in regards to Halladay. (story courtesy of the Worldwide Leader)



While everybody else continues to analyze the Granderson trade that still hasn't been finalized (and still could get shut down pending Ian Kennedy's physical.  Let's not forget that the dude had a fucking aneurysm last season), I'll take time to congratulate the Yankees on a job well done in locking up the number one priority in their pecking order of their own free agents.

In case anybody has forgotten, he's what I wrote on November 20th regarding Pettitte:

Dude more than earned his $5.5 mil last season and as a reward should get a 1-year deal for $10-12 mil, 2 for 20 if he wants to pitch that much longer. His stuff obviously isn't going to get any better, but his ability to pitch and think on the mound has, and his pick-off move is still second to none. You see any better options for a #3 starter next year?

Wow, guess I hit that one on the head, huh?  For my next trick, watch me make this canary disappear.

People can say whatever they want about the Yanks still being in the Roy Halladay Sweepstakes, but the fact of the matter is they just gave up their best prospect for Granderson and getting Halladay is going to take at least 2 of the 3 of the Hughes-Joba-Montero sampler, which the Yanks would be nuts to give up.  So the inclusion of A-Jax for C-Grand pretty much cancels out Halladay and makes Pettitte an even bigger priority.  And what do the Yankees do?  They lock him up immediately after making the Granderson trade, doing exactly what I said they should do and giving Pettitte the fair, bigger money one-year deal that he should have got last offseason and more than earned with his performance this past season.

Sure he's old, but the numbers don't lie.  Andy Pettitte is still an above average Major League pitcher.  His ERA/WHIP/BAA numbers of 4.16/1.38/.259 were all below the AL average of 4.20/1.40/.266 and his K/9 of 6.86 was right in line with the league average.  Like I said in November, Andy's stuff isn't getting any better but his ability to pitch is.  He's got 2 above average off-speed pitches, a cutter he can work to both sides of the plate, and a fastball that he uses situationally to make it effective. How many pitchers can say they've got 4 effective pitches?  And how many teams can say they have a 3rd pitcher with these kind of numbers?

Before the Yankees started worrying about the 4th and 5th spots in the rotation, they had to lock up the 3rd spot.  And what better way to do that than to bring back a guy with a proven track record of success in New York who shows no signs of breaking down, steps his game up in clutch situations, and who costs you no more prospects or risky long-term contracts?  You can talk about your Roy Halladays and John Lackeys all you want, but I'll take Andy Pettitte as my 3-man every day of the fucking week.

For those scoring at home, that's now 2 great moves by Cash this week, with a 3rd waiting to be added to the tally sheet as soon as the 3-way trade is finalized, and it's still just Wednesday.  Someone do me a favor and hit the fucking music...

AB4AR's Belated Week 13 NFL Wrap-Up

Week 13 Recap

NY Jets 19 Buffalo 13

While the Jets may have gotten a win and pulled themselves back within a game of the Pats, Mark Sanchez's inability to execute a simple slide even after being taught by the Almighty Joe Girardi might have put the rest of their season in jeopardy.  Once again, the Jets relegated Sanchez to second banana duty and rode the strength of their running game (249 total yards) to glory.  Holding Buffalo to 221 total yards as a team, forcing 2 TOs, and having Darrelle Revis act as a one-man witness protection program on the other TO didn't hurt either.

Jacksonville 23 Houston 18

The Texans' "2012"-style implosion continued as they fell to the Jags.  While David Garrard was efficient with his 238 yards and 2 TDs, Houston managed to have 3 INTs thrown by 3 different people, inluding Chris Brown's pathetic sissy-armed flail on a botched halfback pass play.  Shit, they even got Rex Grossman into the act.  But on the positive side, at least Houston didn't ever have a lead or a tie at the end of the game for kicker Kris Brown to blow with a missed FG.

Carolina 16 Tampa Bay 6

With Jake Delhomme not playing, it would have seemed like the Panthers could finally be involved in a watchable game this season.  But Bobby Abreu Freeman courageously took it upon himself to pick up the slack in the hideous interception department, tossing 5 picks in a performance that could only be described as Delhomme-ian.  Carolina RB Jonathan Stewart filled in for the injured Deangelo Williams with 26 carries, 120 yards, and a TD, and sub Matt Moore only turned the ball over once in the Panther win.  After the game, Delhomme came rushing up to Moore in the locker room asking him how he did that cool trick.

New Orleans 33 Washington 30 (OT)

Some time you just have to sit back and say "I have no clue how the fuck that happened" and that's really all you can say about this game.  Sure Drew Brees threw for 419 yards and 2 TDs, Jason Campbell had 367 yards and 3 TDs, and 2 WR busts-in-training Robert Meachem and Devin Thomas combined for 15 catches, 242 yards, and 3 TDs, but it was the few bizzare sequence of plays that led to the Saints victory.  First there was Meachem' strip of a Washington INT at the end of the first half and run back for a TD, then Sean Suisham's insane FG miss from 23 yards late in the 4th quarter followed by Brees' 53-yard game-tying heave to Meachem to force the game into overtime.  Sprinkle in a little OT Washington fumble to set up the New Orleans game-winning attempt and you've got yourself a classic "I have no clue how the fuck that happened" game.

Oakland 27 Pittsburgh 24

Despite the return of Ben Roethlisberger and his 278 yards and 2 TDs, the Steelers were powerless to stop the offensive juggernaut that is the Oakland Raiders yesterday.  Last week's controversy over Big Ben not playing surely won't die down after this tough loss as it was clearly that big pussy Roethlisberger's fault that the Pittsburgh D gave up 308 yards passing and 3 TDs to Bruce Gradkowski and 142 yards and 2 TDs to rookie WR Louis Murphy and allowed their team to get outgained by Oakland.  Maybe if Ben was a little tougher and lied to the team doctors to play last week, Ike Taylor would have been able to cover Murphy.

Miami 22 New England 21

In something only slightly less shocking than the story that Tiger Woods likes to take Ambien and fuck skanky club chicks, Miami actually came back to win this game on the strength of Chad Henne's arm.  Henne outdueled Tom Brady, throwing for 335 yards and 2 TDs and not throwing 2 4th quarter picks like Brady did.  The Pats are now 0-5 this season in road games on US soil and this new strategy of not winning on the road to maintain a safe division lead and not being able to hold 4th-quarter leads doesn't seem as genius as some of Belichick's past schemes.

Denver 44 Kansas City 13

Denver racked up 245 rushing yards as a team, punctuated by Knowshon Moreno's 2 TDs.  Matt Cassell helped get himself, Todd Haley, and Scott Pioli one step closer to updating their resumes with a horrible 10-29, 84 yards, 0 TD, 2 INT performance that ranks right up there with some of Jamarcus Russell's best work.  I'd say more to comment on this game but that would be like making fun of the handicapped.

Indianapolis 27 Tennessee 17

Vince Young clearly can't cut the mustard as an NFL quarterback and the curse of Jeff Fisher wearing that Manning jersey earlier this year came back to haunt the Titans on Sunday are the 2 things you would take out of this game if you were a moron.  The truth is that the Colts are just that good and Peyton Manning is just that awesome.  His 270 yards, 136 of them to Pierre Garcon, and 1 TD led the Colts to their 21st straight regular season win, tying the record the Patriots set a few seasons ago.  Chris Johnson had over 100 yards rushing again in the loss, but didn't seem his usual explosive self.  Prepping for that footrace against Rajon Rondo must have taken a lot out of him.

Cincinnati 23 Detroit 13

Dominant WRs past and future were on display as Chad Ochocinco had 9 catches for 137 yards and a touch for Cincy and Calvin Johnson put up 6 for 123 and a TD himself.  The Bengals' win coupled with the fact that the other 3 teams in their division now officially suck has them well in command and on their way to the playoffs.  Despite saying they aren't looking ahead, Carson Palmer is already planning out strategies to keep fat D-linemen from rolling up onto his leg in the divisional playoffs.

Chicago 17 St. Louis 9

Jay Cutler silenced his ever-growing number of critics with a sterling 8-17, 143 yard, 1 TD performance in leading the Bears to a win over hated rival St. Louis and keeping themselves sort of kind of maybe in the NFC Wild Card hunt.  Matt Forte returned from his 12-week sabbatical to contribute 91 rushing yards and a TD for da Bears.  As far as the Rams go, when your kicker hitting all 3 of his FG attempts for all your team's points is the only thing worth mentioning, you know you fucking suck.

Philadelphia 34 Atlanta 7

With the Falcons essentially playing their JV team as Matt Ryan and Michael Turner sat out with injuries, the Eagles showed class in their win on Sunday by matching up their JV QB Mike Vick with the Falcons in an attempt to keep the game close.  Vick did score 2 TDs in his return to his former home field but nobody seemed to give 2 shits.  Matter of fact, I don't even really want to write anything else about this game.

Seattle 20 San Francisco 17

With this tough loss to a division rival, the 49ers are now officially out of the playoff hunt.  Against a defense that has given up a ton of big plays all year, Frank Gore could manage just 25 yards on 9 carries, effectively leaving the game in Alex Smith's hands.  And when you leave the game in the hands of someone who has small hands, predictably he's going to blow that game.  At least Smith was good enough to get Vernon Davis some touches so he could put up some good fantasy numbers for me before deciding to murder the '9ers' chances of victory.  Thanks, Alex.

NY Giants 31 Dallas 24

Nothing signals the changing of the seasons quite like the Cowboys collapsing in December and they got off to an early start of it this year with Sunday's loss to the G-Men.  The Cowboys were outgained 424-341 by the Giants, a margin that looks even worse when you consider Tony Romo threw for 392 yards and 3 TDs on 41-55, all career highs.  The Dallas running game was non-existent, almost as invisible as their tackling on Brandon Jacobs' 74-yard catch-and-run receiving TD or Domenik Hixon's 4th-quarter punt return TD.

San Diego 30 Cleveland 23

The Chargers put up the kind of gaudy numbers you would expect when a team plays the Browns, with Phillip Rivers throwing for 373 yards and 2 TDs, 167 of them to Antonio Gates.  But the surprise of the day was the Browns actually making an attempt to play hard and be competitive.  No, I'm serious, they actually played pretty well.  Brady Quinn had 271 yards passing and threw 3 TD passes.  Stop laughing, I'm not making that up.  No, it wasn't me playing Madden that gave him those numbers, he really did that.  Why don't you believe me?  Alright, fuck this.  If you're just going to sit there and laugh then I'm done.

Arizona 30 Minnesota 17

And the fugazi Vikings are finally exposed as the frauds they are by a quality opponent.  Everybody can now take that pro-Viking rhetoric and throw it in the garbage right next to all Minnesota's previous opponents this season.  After feasting on the likes of Cleveland, St. Louis, Chicago, and Detroit, this game was a rude awakening for the ole gun slinger.  This was Brett at his Favrest; badly misreading coverages, sailing passes high and wide from all angles, and making that classic "so what if it's quadruple coverage, I'm Brett Favre, damnit, and I'm throwing the ball in there" decision that always results in a pick.  It was beautiful to watch, truly beautiful stuff.  Adrian Peterson getting completely shut down didn't help, and thankfully Kurt Warner was there to pick up the slack for old guy QBs, but another game or 2 like this and you can pencil in Favre for a phantom injury right before the playoffs start to build the excuse for his inevitable playoff meltdown.

And that EJ Henderson broken leg?  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

Green Bay 27 Baltimore 14

I don't want to say I'm a genius, but I called it again.  If there was no such thing as a points spread, I'd be wearing expensive suits, Guinea gold chains and calling myself "Brad The Polack" right now because I can fucking pick winners, baby.  The Pack did exactly what they had to do and Joe Flacco's back-to-back picks did the rest.  Now they're still in command of the final Wild Card and peaking at the right time as they head into Chicago to cause Jay Cutler more pain and misery next week.

MNF Predictions for the season (Winners): 10-4

Just thought I'd throw that out there again for everybody to look at.

What The Hell Is Going On?

Do the Yankees have Granderson yet?

Is the trade official?

Did they really give up A-Jax, Coke, and Kennedy?

Are they getting any prospects back?

Are the D-backs really that stupid to make this deal?

There's stories going around that this is a done deal and stories going around that it still hasn't been finalized, so I'm holding off on my 2 cents until I know this shit is official.  If it is true, though, then MLB can pretty much start putting the Bud tall cans and bottles of Korbel on ice now...

Adios, Fat Boy!

So the Yankees traded Brian Bruney to the Nationals today for a player to be named later.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!  WHOOOOO-HOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know anything about this player to be named later guy; whether he's a righty, lefty, what kind of stuff he has, anything.  But I do know he has to be at least as good as Bruney was last season and if he's even a little bit better then this trade is a steal.

At this time last season, Bruney was looking to be Mariano's main setup guy for the 2009 season.  But when you have a year filled with arm problems, more questions about your conditioning and commitment, stints where you either can't get the ball even remotely close to the plate or do nothing but throw the ball right down the heart of the plate, and are resorting to childish tactics like changing your number to 99 then you would have to be a moron to think your position for next season was safe.

I'll admit, I was a Bruney fan when he first signed with the Yankees and thought his stuff would transition perfectly into an ideal setup role, but the guy just couldn't stay consistent or healthy.  And with the influx of young arms into the Yankee pen last season that proved successful and with more arms waiting in the wings, Bruney's window for opportunity slammed shut almost as quickly as it opened.

So auf wiedersehen, Brian.  It was fun while it lasted and at least you'll get a ring.  I wish you all the best in your new endeavor and hope you can help bring Washington to something closely resembling legitimacy as an MLB franchise.



And fear not, Yankee fans.  With Albaladejo and Humberto Sanchez in the system, the Yanks still have plenty of options to fill their "fat guy with questionable control and mental makeup" quote in the bullpen for 2010.

AB4AR's Week 13 NFL Wrap-Up (Sort Of)

No wrap-up today.  Too much shit to do at work.  But here's the MNF Prediction for you compulsive gamblers who are stupid enough to use my predictions as betting material.

Green Bay 27 Baltimore 20

The Pack seem to be hitting their stride at the right time.  Amazing what you can do when your offensive line actually blocks people and protects the QB, huh?  At the same time, Baltimore has stumbled and bumbled their way through the last 6 weeks and Joe Flacco just seems to be missing some of the magic that he had last year.  Couple that with the fact that Baltimore's D is not nearly as intimidating or as good as ESPN and every other NFL analyst wants you to think and Green Bay should do enough to get the win and keep themselves in the NFC Wild Card driver's seat.

MNF Predictions for the season (Winners): 9-4

Playing The Waiting Game (And Winning At It)

TAMPA -- He might not be out front anymore, but that doesn't mean George Steinbrenner has lost his hunger for victory.   When Yankees brass entered Steinbrenner's South Tampa home yesterday afternoon, The Boss made it very clear what he wants from the 2010 season: a 28th World Series championship.

"He was all business," GM Brian Cashman told The Post at the end of Day 1 of the organizational meetings, shortly after 5 p.m. yesterday at George M. Steinbrenner Field.  "Obviously, he wants another [World Series title]."

Hal Steinbrenner, team president Randy Levine, COO Lonn Trost, manager Joe Girardi and Cashman huddled at the ballpark in the morning and then left for The Boss' house at noon. There they spent two hours filling in Steinbrenner about what possible moves will be made to fill the two biggest voids: left field and starting pitching.  According to Cashman, The Boss was in good spirits.  "We went to his house like we did last year and had a business-type lunch," Cashman said.

Cashman refused to divulge what The Boss thought of the GM's ideas to keep the Yankees on top of the baseball universe, but did shoot down speculation the Yankees were getting close to a deal with outfielder and leadoff hitter Johnny Damon.

"We haven't held any negotiations with anybody yet," Cashman said.

While Cashman said he has had contact with the agents for Andy Pettitte, Hideki Matsui and Damon, none of them has been made a priority.  "They all knew we are having these meetings," Cashman said of the gathering that will end this afternoon. "They know there is nothing happening with us.  They know they aren't losing ground to anybody else. The business we discussed [yesterday] was done internally. There were no outgoing phone calls."

Naturally, Cashman didn't reveal what was discussed at the ballpark -- where Hank Steinbrenner surfaced in the afternoon after attending a wake for a long-time Steinbrenner family friend -- or at The Boss' house.  A request by The Post to meet face-to-face with Hal Steinbrenner was declined.

However, the smart money was on Cashman bringing the Steinbrenners up to speed on what the Blue Jays are doing with stud pitcher Roy Halladay, and what the agents for John Lackey, Matt Holliday and Jason Bay are looking for.

Since Girardi was on hand, what to do with Phil Hughes and Joba Chamberlain was likely discussed.  Should one be returned to the rotation, the Yankees will see what it will take to sign free agent right-hander Rafael Soriano, whose power arm has seduced some Yankee scouts. (story courtesy of the NY Post)

 
 
Another day, another brilliant tactical move by the Yankees' brass.  While some teams are paying big money for 32-year-old slap hitters, and Fraud Sox Nation is holding a press conference to announce the signing of a lifetime .265/.337/.384-hitting shortstop who's only a year younger than Jeter, the Yankees' head honchos are kicking back in Tampa, shooting the shit, and quietly forming their plan of attack.
 
This business luncheon at Casa de Steinbrenner is good for 2 reasons.  1) it allows the Yankees to get everybody together and get on the same page with where they want to go this season, something that was a glaring omission to many of their previous offseason schedules; and 2) it allows them to get George up to speed on exactly what happened this season and what moves they want/have to make during this offseason, since he surely thinks it's still the trading deadline in 1996.
 
This tight-lipped approach to their offseason plans is also a good move in helping to negotiate with their 3 big free agents and whatever targets they may have outside the organization.  It was no secret last offseason that the Yankees were going to make a big push at CC and A.J. Burnett, and after they locked them up, everybody automatically assumed they were out of the Mark Teixeira Sweepstakes.  Then out of nowhere they swooped in and stole him right out from under Boston and Baltimore's noses and next thing you know it's Title 27.  Nobody even knew the Yankees had an offer ready for Teix and by the time they figured it out, he was signing his name on the dotted line.
 
No one will comment on what has and hasn't been said to Damon, Pettitte, and Matsui and their people, but between the Yankees' silence and just enough rumors floating around about players who play those same positions (possible Granderson trade, potential interest in Jermaine Dye, mentioning Halladay's close relationship with Burnett, etc.), the Yankees are basically forcing the hands of those 3 and making them have to put their money with their mouths are when it comes time to make a decision and choose between winning and playing with the teammates they say they love in the city they say they love or chasing the dollar signs to somewhere where their chances of contending for a title and, through association with that title chase, remaining relevant in the game are much lower.
 
In the past the Yanks always seemed to make it public knowledge which guys in their organization they wanted back and which guys outside the organization they coveted.  Once other teams knew this, they could bid the Yanks through the roof and force them to blow their money just because they knew George would spend it.  With George acting more like the Queen of England than the Prime Minister these days, the Bombers' approach has changed.  They're sitting back and letting Scott Boras and Co. do their work for them; running his mouth about how many years he's looking for and what other teams are interested.  As soon as one of these supposed teams makes their pitch, the Yankees will be in position to counter-offer and then it'll be up to John, Andrew, and Godzilla to make their choice.
 
With this patient offseason approach, the Yankees have effectively taken all the pressure off themselves and put it on their free agents.  This leaves them with more time to focus on how much they're willing to spend on each of these guys and also devote time to looking for this year's Nick Swisher, a cheap, last-minute signing that ends up providing big returns.  It could be Dye, it could be Randy Wolf as a bargain-cost 4th or 5th starter, it could be Marco Scutaro to provide bench depth for Jeter and A-Horse.  Oh wait, that's right.  Boston already overpaid him to make him their everyday shortstop and continue the carousel of guys who can't live up to Nomar in his prime.  If that's the first step in their "full-court press" to get Halladay then Roy might just want to sit back and play out this year in Toronto so he can earn his big payday and have a realistic chance at a championship with the Evil Empire in 2011.
 
The bottom line is, I love what the Yanks are doing right now and they aren't even doing anything.  Imagine if they would have taken this approach in the mid-2000s?  Maybe they wouldn't have wasted so much money on the Randy Johnsons, Kevin Browns, and Javier Vazquez's of the world.  Either way, this new Yankee precedent of sitting back and letting everybody blow their wad and then show their hand is something I'm signing up for 25 hours a day, 8 days a week.
 
Johnny, Andy, Hideki, it's your move.

This Is What Happens When You Don't Listen To Joe Girardi

Initial tests revealed Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez has a sprained posterior cruciate ligament, and if he can handle the pain, he would be able to play Dec. 13 at Tampa, a source close to the situation told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter on Friday morning

Sanchez sprained his right knee Thursday night in the Jets' 19-13 win against the Buffalo Bills in Toronto, when he dived headfirst on an 8-yard scamper up the middle.

That was enough to pick up a first down on the Jets' second possession of the third quarter. And it happened in the same week in which the Jets brought in Yankees manager Joe Girardi to provide the first-round draft pick sliding lessons after Sanchez hurt his left knee in a 17-6 win against Carolina on Sunday.

Jets coach Rex Ryan was visibly upset following the game, after having to watch Sanchez hobble off with a knee injury for the second time in five days.

"Sometimes, the kid's got to understand we're trying to teach him to slide," Ryan said. "I love the kid, but he's got to grow up and understand he represents our entire organization. We want what's best for him." (story courtesy of ESPN.com)



I never pegged Mark Sanchez as a Rhodes Scholar, but when your team puts in a call to Joe Girardi to teach you how to slide, you should probably take what he says as the word of God and burn those lessons into your brain like a hot poker.

This isn't some local Little League coach coming by telling you to make sure to not slide too late and keep your hands closed so you don't get stepped on, this is Joe F'ing Girardi, mastermind of the World Series Champion New York Yankees and the man that should have rightfully been AL Manager of the Year. When this guy speaks, you better damn well listen. But no, you decided you know what's up and you dive forward like a dumbass to get a first down and end up hurting your knee. Serves you right, jackass.

Sanchez should just be thankful that he has a clown like Rex Ryan as his coach and not Girardi himself. We've seen Joe bench Cano for not playing hard and yank pitchers early for blowing up on the mound. God knows what he would have done when he saw Sanchez lunging headfirst for the first down marker instead of executing the textbook pop-up slide that Girardi undoubtedly taught him. My guess is Sanchez would have had plenty of time to snack on some more hot dogs because he would have been riding the pine big time.

And where does Rex Ryan get off with this "we're trying to teach him to slide" garbage? Where does the "we" part come in, Rex? The version of the story out there is that you called Joe in to school young Sanchez, which says to me that whatever "we" you're referring to couldn't cut the mustard in the sliding department. If you're going to call in the Great Girardi, you better give him his due. It's his job to drop knowledge on your boy; it's your job to make sure he uses the knowledge.

Tiger Bad, Jeter Good

Video courtesy of Half Day Today

Since there really isn't much in Yankee land worth discussing seriously today, I'll just use this as my opportunity to join the rest of the world in having some fun at Tiger Woods' expense.

To quote Chris Russo: "What is Tiger Woods doing here???  What is he doing here??!!  That's a bad job in a big spot by Tiger!  Just a terrible job by Tiger."

Dude, you're Tiger Fucking Woods.  You're easily the most well-known athlete on the planet and possibly one of the top 5-10 most recognized people period on the planet.  You're worth a billion dollars.  What the fuck are you doing getting married in the first place???  Sure your old lady is hot and all, but again I say: YOU'RE TIGER FUCKING WOODS!!!!  You could bang any chick you want.  Why tie yourself down with the shackles of matrimony when you know you're going to have chicks throwing their panties at you anytime you're out and about.  It's a hell of a lot cheaper to pay a few hundred for an abortion if you accidentally knock up some dumpster one night than to have to pay your wife tens of millions of dollars.  And if you are going to be dumb and sleazy enough to cheat on your wife this much, at least have it be with some worthwhile chicks.  I can pick up girls better than what you got on an average night out in Milwaukee.  And that's MILWAUKEE.

This is the kind of shit that Derek Jeter has done a masterful job of avoiding his entire career.  His list of conquests reads like a Murder's Row of knockouts: Mariah Carey in her prime, Miss Universe, Jordana Brewster, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, Gabrielle Union, Jessica Alba, and Minka Kelly.  The guy's good looking, has money, and is a big name in the big world of sports and he knows that ample amounts of pussy come with that status.  But never has he ever gotten himself into even a speck of trouble with any of these women.

It's because Jeter has never been big about making these flings big; you can hardly ever find any pictures of him out anywhere with anybody, he's never been caught cheating on anybody, never has voicemails or texts stuck on his phone, and has never gotten dragged into any drama with any of his ladies.  The dude does it the right way; date 'em, have fun with 'em, don't make a spectacle of the relationship, end it amicably, and move on to the next conquest.  Jeter didn't just write the book on how to be a rich, handsome celebrity, he printed the fucking paper the book is written on and binded the motherfucker when he was done writing it.  Justin Timberlake should have to pay a fee to Jeter for copywrite infringement anytime he hooks up with a new celebrity.

Not to mention Jeter has never been caught up with any scuzzy skeezers like Tiger has been.  I don't even need to rattle the list off again, but for the sake of comparison go back up and skim through that greatest hits collection.  You don't see any trashy reality TV show bitches or manly looking club owners in there anywhere; just prime, Grade-A hot chicks.

Is it any wonder Jeter won Sportsman of the Year?  Not only is he performing at the highest level on the field, he's also showing everybody how it's done off the field.  The Turn 2 Foundation is a great cause, but if Jeter really wants to give back to the community, he should travel the country during the baseball offseason and give seminars on how to conduct yourself when you're a famous professional athlete with a special section on how to handle the ladies.

Everybody Wants To Be A Yankee

Motherfuckers just can't wait to wear the pinstripes, huh?

On the same day that Roy Halladay announced he wants a deal done before Spring Training or he's staying put, Joe Mauer comes in and one-ups Doc by declaring that he didn't actually demand the Twins get a deal done before Opening Day or he would test free agency after the season, which of course means he did demand that.

Both these guys and their agents can say whatever they want, but the fact is if you really were OK with your situations, you would keep your mouths shut.  Nobody says anything about wanting deals done or not done or waving no-trade clauses before they need to be done or waved unless they want to be somewhere else.  If they're really happy where they are and want to stay, they just shut the fuck up and negotiate with their team when the time comes.  And when you say you want to be traded to a contender or are willing to test free agency, that's just baseball code speak for "I can't wait for the Yankees to get involved in the bidding so I can win a fucking championship."

 Now Halladay I could give a crap about, although penciling him in as the number 2 behind CC all but guarantees 120 wins and title 28 next season, but Mauer is a different story.

He's going to be balls deep in the prime of his career after the 2010 season and at that point the Yankees should be pretty much putting a gun to Jorge's head and forcing him to finish his career as a DH.  With Francisco Cervelli still unproven as a full-time Major League catcher and Jesus Montero reportedly being a worse cdefensive atcher than Posada, you can't argue with the logic of adding the best player at his position to what will still be the best lineup in baseball.  Mauer's offense and defense would be a significant upgrade over Jorge now, let alone in another year when Jorge will be older, slower, and more beat up.  Signing him to a long-term deal answers any questions about the Yankees future behind the plate before they can even be asked and frees them up to use their multitude of catching prospects to bring in more pitching or bench depth, which always comes in handy when you're in the postseason.

Mauer just needs to cut the shit with this "Hometown Boy" routine and man up and admit he wants to come to New York.  The guy isn't an idiot; he knows what kind of numbers he's already put up and what numbers he can put up moving forward, and he knows production like that at the plate and smooth play behind it equals big-time dollars.  Not to mention the fact that staying in Minnesota guarantees he never has a shot at winning the title, new stadium or no new stadium.  Nothing cements your place in baseball history like becoming the latest, and potentially greatest, in the long line of great catchers that have played for the most decorated organization in sports history.

The only question is, what number do the Yanks give Mauer since 7 is clearly not available?  Whatever he ends up choosing, the Yanks should do the smart thing when he signs this time next year and just retire it immediately.

AB4AR's Week 12 NFL Wrap-Up

Week 12 Recap

Green Bay 34 Detroit 12

In this year's example for why the NFL needs to remove the Lions from their yearly spot on the Thanksgiving schedule, the Pack absolutely demolished the hapless Cats.  Aaron Rodgers tuned the Detroit secondary up to the total of 348 yards and 3 TDs and Charles Woodson had another fantastic all-around game, punctuated by his 2 INTs.  If there was an NFL Heisman Award, Woodson would have to be considered a front runner, as evidenced by his endzone celebration.  Matt Stafford, only a week removed from the game of his young career, did all he could to steer the "crappy rookie QB" discussion from Mark Sanchez to himself by throwing 4 picks.

Dallas 24 Oakland 7

What the flu vaccine is the the flu, the Oakland Raiders defense is to struggling offenses.  Tony Romo threw for 309 yards and 2 TDs and Miles Austin racked up 6 of his 7 catches, 130 of his 145 yards, and his 1 TD in the first half of a game that was 3 times not as close as the final score indicated.  While Bruce Gradkowski did perform better than Jamarcus Russell would have, sideline cameras showed Russell constantly looking confused and disinterested on the sidelines with his hat pushed up above his ears.  The dude is so bad that he even sucks at standing on the sideline!!  Ryan Leaf, get ready to move out of the top floor of the "All-Time NFL First Round Draft Busts" Hotel.

Denver 26 NY Giants 6

The Broncos picked themselves up out of the grave like a backup dancer from the "Thriller" video as the Giants replaced them in the finale of the Thanksgiving blowout trifecta.  Eli looked lost trying to navigate Denver's D and now has a stress reaction to go with his plantar fascia-whatever-you-call-it.  Making matters worst, Brandon Jacobs has gone from the beast of RB beasts to that crappy kid in Pee Wee football who is forced to play RB when the #1 defense is scrimmaging the #2 offense in practice; he tip-toes parallel to the line and goes down easier than Alyssa Milano on a #3 National League starting pitcher (ZING!!)

Indianapolis 35 Houston 27

Talk about a collapse.  After being up 17-0 early and 20-7 at the half, the Texans imploded like the Cowboys' practice facility and all but killed their playoff hopes as they fell once again to Peyton 'N Friends.  Although you can't really blame Houston's secondary for playing a little passive in the second half after all the bogus pass interference calls against them on the Colts opening 3rd-quarter drive.  If running stride-for-stride with a guy is considered PI now, then I guess Champ Bailey and Darrelle Revis will have to retire.  Manning was his typical cool, calm self as he used his laser rocket arm to toss 3 TDs and keep the Colts unbeaten, locking up the division in the process.

Philadelphia 27 Washington 24

Donovan McNabb threw for 260 and a touch, but it was his leading the Eagles' late 4th-quarter drive that helped set them up for the eventual game-winning FG.  And he did it all without puking in the huddle!  Our little boy is finally growing up.  McNabb led the late drive without #1 WR DeSean Jackson, who left with a concussion.  RB Brian Westbrook immediately tried to console Jackson by telling him "it's okghgsk, yioufs haveothsl ts ijfghit rhtiur eit, andhgjet yuoisw wil hsiheb ok."  This just in, LeSean McCoy is good, I mean really good.  Hey everyone!!  Come see how good LeSean McCoy is!

NY Jets 17 Carolina 6

The Jets followed a winning formula to victory yesterday, ratcheting the offense back to a 3rd-grade level for Mark Sanchez and letting Jack Delhomme do what Jack Delhomme does best.  Sanchez was 13-17 for 154 yards and managed to not fuck anything up too bad while Delhomme tossed 4 INTs, one of which was returned for a touchdown.  Surprisingly, Carolina stuck with Delhomme as their running game was nowhere to be found.  If you can limit your turnovers and just wait for Delhomme to inevitably commit his 3-5 per game, you should have a good chance to win against the Panthers.

Seattle 27 St. Louis 17

Justin Forsett became the latest member of the "guys I should have picked up off the waiver wire" club as he broke loose for 130 yards rushing and 2 TDs on just 22 carries yesterday, leading the Seahawks to their first road win of the season against the Ewes.  The Rams were helped by the good Kyle Boller: 282 yards and 1 TD, but killed by the bad Kyle Boller: 2 INTs.  To celebrate their first road win of the year, the Seahawks all went out to Chuckie Cheese for pizza and Whack-A-Mole.

Cincinnati 16 Cleveland 7

The most un-entertaining game of the weekend ended in a much-needed win for the Bengals to keep their division lead intact.  Cleveland's hapless offensive performance (169 total yards) should guarantee Eric Mangini a spot in the NFL unemployment line in the off-season, and Brady Quinn's 100-yard performance combined with Charlie Weis' firing guarantees that as of right now, there is nothing good that came from Weis' tenure as head coach.  Larry Johnson, subbing for the still-injured Cedric Benson, ran for 107 yards on 22 carries, albeit an incredibly gay 107 yards.

Atlanta 20 Tampa Bay 17

Who needs Matt Ryan and Michael Turner when you've got Chris Redman, right?  After losing Ryan and Turner to injuries, the Falcons had to turn to Chris Redman (I know, I didn't think he was still in the league either) to lead them to victory, and lead he did.  Redman threw for 243 yards and 2 TDs in relief, including the game-winning TD pass to Roddy White as time expired.  Redman's heroics ruined a great day for Josh Freeman, who went 20-29 with 250 yards, 2 TDs, and an RBI single in the bottom of the 6th.

Buffalo 31 Miami 14

After stumbling threw the first 3 quarters, the Bills exploded for 24 points in the 4th quarter to beat Miami and deal a serious blow to their playoff hopes.  Terrell Owens put together his 2nd consecutive productive week for the first time in almost 3 seasons as he had 5 catches, 96 yards, and a TD.  Ricky Williams 115 yards and 1 TD wasn't enough to overcome Chad Henne's Delhomme-esque 3-INT performance that sealed the Dolphins' fate.

Tennessee 20 Arizona 17

Despite putting up 532 yards of total offense, the Titans needed every last second to defeat the Cardinals yesterday.  Chris Johnson had 154 yards and a TD on just 18 carries as he continued his march towards 2,000 yards, but it was Vince Young's 387 yards and game-winning TD pass with no time left that won it for Tennessee.  The pass by Young capped off a 99-yard drive in which he completed 3 4th down passes to keep the drive alive.  If Young keeps playing like this, I'm not going to be able to make any more suicide jokes.  Matt Leinart surprisingly didn't play awful, but just like in the National Championship Game a few years ago, was severely upstaged by VY.

San Francisco 20 Jacksonville 3

Alex Smith had a workman-like 232-yard, 2-TD performance to lead the '9ers, and while he didn't throw any picks, David Garrard's 2 lost fumbles hurt the Jags in their loss.  I've been preaching the power of the hyphenated-name duo all year and yesterday proved exactly why.  Maurice Jones-Drew and Mike Sims-Walker combined for barely over 100 yards and 0 TDs.  Coincidence?  Not likely.

San Diego 43 Kansas City 14

If you're going to turn the ball over 4 times like the Chiefs did yesterday against a quality opponent, then you better be prepared to take a beating.  A beating was something that Phillip Rivers and company were only so happy to deliver as he threw for 317 yards and 2 TDs, both to Antonio Gates, who after toiling in the single-digit points scored dungeon for weeks, decided to break out for 7-118-2 on the day when I inexplicably leave him off my fantasy roster.  Damn you, Antonio Gates.  Damn you to Hell.

Minnesota 36 Chicago 10

Brett was Favre-tastic yesterday, throwing for 392 and 3 TDs, completing 6 passes each to Percy Harvin, Bernard Berrian, Sidney Rice, and Chester Taylor.  Harvin's first career 100-yard receiving game gets him closer to a potential Rookie of the Year Award, and another beatdown gets Lovie Smith one loss closer to joining Eric Mangini in the unemployment line.  Has anybody seen Matt Forte?  Seriously, what the fuck happened to that guy?  Is he alright?  Should we send somebody over to his house to check on him?  Maybe Jay Cutler could throw an errant pass through his window so we could get inside.

Baltimore 20 Pittsburgh 17 (OT)

In a game that lived up to its hard-hitting, defensive battle billing, the Ravens pulled out a much-needed overtime win to vault back into the last AFC playoff spot.  3rd-string QB Dennis Dixon actually did a couple things to help the Steelers win, scoring 2 TDs, and didn't do anything to make them lose, until that fateful pick in overtime.  Can't really blame the guy, though, since he would never have been in that position if Big Ben wasn't such a pussy.  Come on, dude, concussion my ass!  Rub some dirt on it and get out there.  I think I'm starting to develop a bit of a man crush on Ray Rice, and I am not ashamed of it.


MNF Prediction

New England 34 New Orleans 31

By the time this one is over, we'll be calling it the Game of the Year.  This baby will have everything: scoring, turnovers, big hits, gutsy calls, tons of made up adjectives and adverbs by Jaws and Gruden, and gallons of semen shot out of both of their cocks as they describe the QB play of Tom Brady and Drew Brees.  Bring your rain coat and goggles, Tirico, because you're in for a long night.  I don't know why, but something tells me New Orleans will need one timeout on their last drive of the game but won't have it, and that will end up costing them a chance at a game-tying FG.

MNF Predictions for the season (winners): 9-3

Jeter Wins SI's Sportsman of the Year. (And It's About Damn Time)

NEW YORK -- Derek Jeter has been selected Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year, becoming the first member of the New York Yankees to win the award.

The magazine made the announcement Monday.

"It's unbelievable. It was completely unexpected. It came out of the blue," Jeter told The Associated Press during a break in the photo shoot. "When I heard it, what can you say? It's one of the greatest honors you can achieve in sports."

The 35-year-old Jeter is the first Bronx Bomber to be tapped for the award that has been given out since 1954. Swimmer Michael Phelps was last year's recipient.

"That's even harder considering all the great Yankee players that have played for this organization," said Jeter, standing under the banners depicting Yankees greats that hang in the Great Hall of the new stadium. "So I hope I've done them proud."

Sports Illustrated Group editor Terry McDonell certainly thinks he has.

"This verifies my idea that he is on the level of Ruth and Gehrig," McDonell said. "He's the greatest shortstop in the history of the game."

All business between the lines, Jeter has become one of the untarnished ambassadors in the steroids era of baseball through steady play and quiet leadership on and off the field.

"He's so classy," McDonell said. "He brings a dignity and elegance to the game."

Jeter's 2009 season was remarkable. He batted .334 with 18 homers and 66 RBIs with 30 steals to help lead the Yankees to their first World Series title in nine years -- a frustrating drought for the player who won four championships in his first five seasons.

And as calls swelled for Jeter to switch positions after his contract expires in 2010, the 10-time All-Star went out and had one of his best defensive seasons: He made a career-low eight errors in winning his fourth Gold Glove.

He also passed Yankees icon Lou Gehrig's club record for hits, won the Hank Aaron Award as the AL's top hitter, and was given the Roberto Clemente Award for excellence on and off the field.

The World Series victory might have been Jeter's most cherished accomplishment this year, but what clinched the sportsman award for him was his philanthropic work. Jeter's Turn 2 Foundation has doled out over $10 million in grants since 1996 to organizations that help keep young people away from alcohol and drugs.

"It's about the manner of the striving and the quality of the effort, too," McDonell said. "Off the field he has grown so much as a member of the community."

For Jeter, who only looks as far ahead as the next game, he's nowhere near the end of an illustrious career that could culminate with 4,000 hits.

"I'll take it one hit at a time. That's a long way in the future," said Jeter, who has 2,747 hits. "I'm going to play as long as I'm having fun. Right now I'm having a blast." (story courtesy of the AP)



Another day, another award for Derek Jeter. World Series champion? Yeah, sure. Whatever. Gold Glove? Meh. Silver Slugger Award? Yawn. Hank Aaron Award, Roberto Clemente Award, and now Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year. Reading through that glorious description of Jeter's season made me both a little misty and little aroused at the same time. For Yankee fans, reading a list of Jeter's accomplishments is like romance novels for middle-aged women and this was no exception. Not bad for an overrated, washed up player whose best years are behind him.

To be honest, I'm not surprised Jeter won the award. As this season has shown, his accomplishments both on and off the field are more than enough to declare him worthy. What does surprise me is that it took this long for him to finally win, and that no Yankee has ever won this award in the 50+ years that SI has been in existence? Here I thought the media had only developed their intense negative bias towards the Yankees in the last 5 years or so, and now it's clear that SI has had it out for the Bombers since their inception.

You're telling me guys like Roger Maris, Thurman Munson, and Mariano Rivera were never worthy of Sportsman of the Year? Michael Fucking Phelps won it last year and all the dude did was win some swim meets, stutter and stammer through interviews with his horse mouth, and take a few bong rips at a frat party. If Sports Illustrated cared even a little bit about being fair and having this award mean something, they will go back and not only award Roger, Thurm, and The Sandman an award for one of their past seasons, but also award Jeter the award for 1998, 1999, and 2003.

Now of course the critics will be coming out of the woodwork today and for the rest of the week pointing out that Jeter's OBP was the lowest of the last 5 winners of the Sportsman of the Year. And you can pretty much take it to the bank that some stat geek at ESPN has created a formula proving that Jeter's VORSOY (Value Over Replacement Sportsman of the Year) is the 3rd-lowest out of all AL shortstops. But the bottom line is Jeter continues to be among the best at what he does on and off the field and there is still an overwhelming majority of his critics and peers who recognize just how special an athlete he is. That universal respect is something that can't be quantified and it's that respect that holds more value than any ridiculous stat created just for the purpose of trying to make Jeter look like less than he is.

So congratulations, Captain. It's been a long time coming and when you add everything up from this past season, there really isn't anybody more deserving.

Where's The Shooter?

When you hold a team, any team, below 30% shooting from the field, foul out 3 of their top 4 frontcourt players, and hold the other, a potential NBA Lottery pick, to 6 points on 2-12 shooting, you shouldn't just win a college basketball game, you should fucking dominate it.  The only way you wouldn't win a game like that is if your team can't knock a shot down to save themselves and can't rebound against a team against which you have comparable size and much better athleticism, and that's exactly what happened to the Huskies last night.

After three lackluster performances against shitty teams to open the season, it looked like UConn had finally put all the pieces together on Wednesday night when they steamrolled through LSU.  They rebounded aggressively, giving the Tigers no second chances, ran their offense, and knocked down shots, both inside and out.  To say last night was UConn taking a step back would be like saying the US deficit is a few bucks short right now.  The Huskies were flat-out awful, getting out-rebounded 56-43 by a Duke team who Doug Gottleib called "alarmingly non-athletic" after a WIN Wednesday night against Arizona St.  25 of those rebounds were of the offensive variety, giving Duke enough second chance points and trips to the free throw line to override their horrible shooting night.  When Brian Zoubek, a guy who is practically a zombie straight out of the George Romero playbook, and Lance Thomas, the slowest, weakest, most unathletic black guy this side of Curt Menefee, each grab 11 rebounds against you, then you know there's a big problem in the middle.  And that problem's name is Charles Okwandu.

Seriously, what the fuck is he doing out there?  And more importantly, why the fuck is Calhoun playing this guy?  He is terrible.  I must have been higher than Jerome Dyson at Spring Weekend when I called Okwandu an "intriguing possibility" 2 weeks ago in my season preview column because the only thing intriguing about him is how he managed to secure a basketball scholarship when he possesses absolutely no basketball skills.  I wouldn't pick him to play on my team in a playground 3-on-3 game at an elementary school.  The dude can't stay with his man, has no clue how to play pick-and-roll defense, gets abused in the low post by players smaller and lighter than he is, is never in good rebounding position, and even when he is, he goes up softly with one hand to try to tap the ball back to himself instead of aggressively grabbing it with 2 hands.  I'm not even going to waste time breakding down all the holes in his offensive game because quite frankly, he has no offensive skills on which to comment.

I know Calhoun likes to have size, but Jesus Christ, I'd rather take my chances with AO and Gavin, or go small with AO, Sticks, and Jamal than let Okwandu go out there and basically have the Huskies playing 4-on-5.  If I had the money, I would bail out the kid who killed Jasper Howard just so he could go back to the Student Union and shank Charles Okwandu.  And I'm only half-joking when I say that.

Speaking of Sticks, where the fuck was he last night?  Was that even him wearing the 21 jersey or was he back at the scrap metal yard?  4 rebounds against Duke's front line?  FUCKING 4???  I know he got frozen out on the offensive end of the floor in the 2nd half worse than Michael Jordan in his first All-Star Game, but that's still no reason to be so passive on the boards against a team that he can run and jump circles around.  Come on, Stanley, you're a fucking senior!  You're the one that needs to take the reins against the Dukes and Villanovas of the world and lead the team, not sulk and get lost in the shuffle because you aren't getting touches on the offensive end.

As bad as the whole rebounding thing was, I could look past it if the Huskies could have made a few shots, just a few.  But offensively they looked 20 times worse than they did defensively.  When the fuck is somebody going to step up and knock down a jump shot??  The Huskies made 2 for the whole game last night, and one of those was by Gavin Edwards!  The offense last night was basically dribbling or passing around the perimeter for 20-25 seconds and then having either Kemba or Jerome go flying towards the basket and throw up a forced off-balance runner or weak layup, trying more to get a foul call than to actually make the shot.

There was no ball movement around the wing to try to get somebody an open jumper, and when they did get one, whoever had the open look either missed it or didn't take it.  Jerome was 6-20 from the field last night and Kemba was 4-12.  Nobody wants to shoot on this team because nobody fucking can.  It's an embarrassment to the program and to the sport to have a bunch of scholarship guards and wing players who can't knock down a 15-footer or an open 3, and a bunch of scholarship big men whose collective post-up game resembles that of a middle school girl.

And if you're going to forego ball movement and open shots for trying to draw fouls, at least make your fucking free throws.  For all the good players that have come and gone over the last half decade, one thing Jimbo never seems to recruit is guys who can make foul shots.  It was a problem 2 years ago, it was a problem last year, and it's already a problem this year.  15-28 from the line just ain't gonna cut it against good team, especially when the majority of the misses are coming from your main guys (Oriakhi 2-4, Dyson 3-9, Walker 1-2, Sticks 0-1).  Shooting 50% from the line negated all the good they did in getting Duke's entire front line in foul trouble. Despite the fact that they had foul issues, Duke continued to play aggressive defense because they knew UConn wasn't going to take advantage of the opportunities at the line.  The only dude out there with any hair on his nuts when it comes to the charity stripe seems to be Gavin Edwards (I can't believe I just fucking wrote that!), who made all 6 of his attempts last night. 

There were a few bright spots last night.  AO was tough on D and on the boards with 13, but still needs to learn that this isn't high school ball anymore and he can't bring the ball down when he's making a post move or trying to shoot.  And Gavin Edwards played another decent game coming off the bench, with 12 points and 5 boards (again, I can't believe I just fucking wrote that).  But UConn's Big 3 stumbled and bumbled all night on both ends of the floor, and in a game that the stats say they should have won, it was that lack of composure and leadership on their part that cost the team the game.

Jimbo needs to start getting on Stanley, JD, and Kemba now to grow up and lead the team, and he needs to take the training wheels off of Coombs-McDaniel, Trice, and Darius Smith, and see if these fucking kids can play and make a shot because if he's counting on Gavin Edwards and Alex Oriakhi to lead the charge heading into Big East play, it's going to be a long year.

And somebody, for the love of God, give Okwandu H1N1 or mono, or anything to keep him off the floor.

Red Sox Already Resorting To Basketball Tactics To Land Roy Halladay

So the big buzz around the baseball world today is that the Sawx are "putting on a full-court press" to try to acquire Roy Halladay and bolster their pitching staff for next year.  In the words of the great Matt Foley, motivational speaker, "Well LA-DEE-FREAKIN'-DAH!!!"

As if using an aggressive man-to-man pressure defense is really going to work to bring in the guy that they coveted most during this past season's trade deadline but didn't have the stones to pull the trigger on because they didn't want to give up any of their prized prospects.  Newsflash, Theo. Toronto's asking price isn't going to be any lower this time than it was a few months back, so unless your "full-court press" includes kidnapping Halladay's family and threatening their lives, you might as well start cleaning out Clay Buchholz's and Daniel Bard's lockers now if you're serious about this.

And even if Boston does make this deal, are they expecting the Yankees to suddenly shit their collective pants?  Like Brian Cashman is going to wake up on December 5, read the headline on ESPN.com that the Sox made the deal and simultaneously hit the panic switch with his left hand while he frantically searches for the cell phone to start calling Randy Wolf's agent with his right?  Puh-fucking-lease.

If this past season proved anything, it's that the Yankees are the deeper, more talented team across the board than the Red Sox, and adding Roy Halladay makes them only marginally better than the Yankees at best.  The back end of Boston's rotation has just as many question marks as New York's does, and with Josh Beckett looking like he may have already peaked in his career, throwing him in with Halladay and Lester as a great trio of starting pitchers is like saying store brand cranberry sauce is one of the premiere Thanksgiving foods along with Turducken and homemade pumpkin pie.

And that's not even factoring in the undeniable reality that the Yankees' bullpen is deeper and more clutch than Boston's and that Boston's lineup has aged far less gracefully than that of the Bombers.  Jeter, A-Rod, Hideki, Damon, and Matsui are like the finest of fine wines when compared to the spoiled milk that is Boston's 30-something collection of Ortiz, Lowell, Drew, and Varitek (if they're dumb enough to bring him back).

So go ahead, Theo, make your move on Halladay.  Cash, Hank, and Hal will only be too happy to watch you give up 3 to 4 blue chippers just to try to pull back even with the Yankees.  I don't think even Bill James can concoct some formula to figure out how Halladay will help your bullpen from imploding in big moments or your rapidly aging (and even more rapidly declining in production) lineup from continuing their downward trend.  And if you want to get it done before the winter meetings, be my guest.  That just gives the Yankee minds more time to come up with a counter-strategy.

It really doesn't make a shit of a difference if you put on a full-court press, half-court trap, or a matchup zone to get Halladay, because while you're out there flailing and flapping like Forrest Griffin, the Yankees are sitting back, letting things play out with their free agents and biding their time to make some late-offseason moves, and readying up that counterpunch right hand to floor you like Anderson Silva.

The President of Endicott College Knows What's Up

So for anybody that doesn't know, here's the deal.  Every year at Endicott College, they do some goofy fire hydrant painting thing for school spirit and this year it turned out that one of the hydrants got painted in the colors of the Yankees.  I know, great choice.  Blue and white pinstripes just make everything look better.  Only problem is, Endicott College is located in the heart of Red Sox country and so the resulting painted pinstripes caused quite a stir.  Today was the day for the painting to take place, and my friend Gary, an Endicott alum and diehard Yankee fan, was gracious enough to send this picture.

Thanks to Gary C., friend of the blog, for the pic

Goddamn that thing's a beauty, huh?  But wait, it gets better. In addition to allowing the Yankee fans on campus, an overwhelming minority, to shake their dicks in the faces of all the Red Sox fans, the President of the college, ALSO a Yankees fan, sends out the following email today to the entire student body.

Dear Endicott Community,

I have always believed that laughter, purpose, and hard work were keys to my success. From these key words come many actions and responses. Sometime, they are misconstrued. Take for example the painting of the fire hydrants – a campus tradition.

Over the years they have recognized the Red Sox, Bruins, Dunkin’ Donuts, and our team successes. They have been bulletin boards for all to see and enjoy. They are both in good fun and purposeful.

The apparent outcry against painting a fire hydrant for the Yankees, while not surprising, is over the top. Yes, to some, the Yankees are the dreaded “Evil Empire” but to others it is a symbol of their hometown and their region, and they are proud of it. We have a right to celebrate their victory. While some may mourn the outcome of the 2009 season, the rivalry between Boston and New York is what sport is about. It provides entertainment, energy, and passion not only for the season, but throughout the year. It is one of the great values of sport.

Yes, I support the Yankees, but I also support great teams. My grandfather was a policeman at Yankee Stadium and his brother a fire boat captain. After 9/11 I witnessed a city in the midst of destruction and we watched the people from New York rise from the ashes. They became a symbol of courage and determination to the world.

Okay, now to the issue. This week our little tradition grew to a degree none of us expected. It has been on the national news. It has gotten groans from New England, cheers from New York, and laughter around the country.

Unfortunately, someone or more than one person from our community decided to use the controversy as a way to damage the car of a very kind, gentle and, by the way, strong Red Sox fan, as a way to “get back.” Sorry, your actions are far more damaging and demeaning than anything we do with a fire hydrant. Those involved have no idea how to benefit from the words, “play ball, play football, and simply, play.”

Our actions tell a lot about the character of Endicott students. On Monday, can we find some joy and pleasure in knowing that some 20% of our student body have a reason to celebrate and 80% of our students have the opportunity to say, “Wait until next year!” Let the rivalry begin again.

I am glad that this fire hydrant has energized your passion and your loyalty. Can this same passion be directed to our bigger problems: energy, hunger, and crime, or will complacency return when the event is over?

I will always stand with and for our students. I am proud of Boston. Endicott and I take pride in each of you. In return I ask that we, as a community, enjoy when others succeed. Please set aside anger and envy, and say, “Maybe it will be our turn next year!

Sincerely

Dr. Wylie



Oh, Dr. Wylie, you had me at "we have a right to celebrate their victory."  Just an absolute masterpiece.  Where do I start?  The guy makes reference to the Yankees winning the World Series twice, plays both the 9/11 and "Solving the World's Crises" cards to perfection, calls out some group of vandals who trashed a car, and from start to finish carries himself with the dignity and well-spoken grace that only a Yankee fan could. 

If this fire hydrant painting/school president combo doesn't perfectly portray "Red Sox Nation" as the biggest, most fraudulent, media-created shit pile in the history of sports, then I don't know what does.  Do you honestly think that if a group of Red Sox students tried pulling a stunt like this at NYU that they would have gotten away with it?  The Yankee fan majority would have painted over the fire hydrant before the red in the Red Sox logo was even dry, and the beaten the shit out of the perpetrators to send a message.  Christ, even pussy Mets fans probably would have had something to say about an outside enemy team's logo being displayed on their turf.  But what do the Red Sox fans at Endicott do?  Nothing.  Not a fucking thing.

And therein lies the difference between Yankee fans and Red Sox fans.  Yankee fans are proactive and find creative ways to express their celebration of their team's success, and when the team is down they are still out proudly portraying their colors.  Red Sox fans throw on their green hats and pink girl jerseys when their team is doing well and run around telling you how awesome Josh Beckett is, but then scurry back inside their homes when the times get tough, resorting to tired, unintelligent bitches and moans about how "A-Rawd is a fackin cheatah," or "Jeetah is a fackin queeah!"  All these supposed Red Sox fans on campus at Endicott should just take their Boston gear and fucking burn it because if you're going to let something like that happen and just stand by and watch, then you aren't a true fan.

I know the guy was just doing his Presidential duty, but Dr. Wylie ended up providing just one more in the long list of examples of how the Yankees and their fans are great and real while the Red Sox and their fans are a bunch of weak, media-hyped fugazis.  Bravo, good sir. Bravo indeed.