The President of Endicott College Knows What's Up

So for anybody that doesn't know, here's the deal.  Every year at Endicott College, they do some goofy fire hydrant painting thing for school spirit and this year it turned out that one of the hydrants got painted in the colors of the Yankees.  I know, great choice.  Blue and white pinstripes just make everything look better.  Only problem is, Endicott College is located in the heart of Red Sox country and so the resulting painted pinstripes caused quite a stir.  Today was the day for the painting to take place, and my friend Gary, an Endicott alum and diehard Yankee fan, was gracious enough to send this picture.

Thanks to Gary C., friend of the blog, for the pic

Goddamn that thing's a beauty, huh?  But wait, it gets better. In addition to allowing the Yankee fans on campus, an overwhelming minority, to shake their dicks in the faces of all the Red Sox fans, the President of the college, ALSO a Yankees fan, sends out the following email today to the entire student body.

Dear Endicott Community,

I have always believed that laughter, purpose, and hard work were keys to my success. From these key words come many actions and responses. Sometime, they are misconstrued. Take for example the painting of the fire hydrants – a campus tradition.

Over the years they have recognized the Red Sox, Bruins, Dunkin’ Donuts, and our team successes. They have been bulletin boards for all to see and enjoy. They are both in good fun and purposeful.

The apparent outcry against painting a fire hydrant for the Yankees, while not surprising, is over the top. Yes, to some, the Yankees are the dreaded “Evil Empire” but to others it is a symbol of their hometown and their region, and they are proud of it. We have a right to celebrate their victory. While some may mourn the outcome of the 2009 season, the rivalry between Boston and New York is what sport is about. It provides entertainment, energy, and passion not only for the season, but throughout the year. It is one of the great values of sport.

Yes, I support the Yankees, but I also support great teams. My grandfather was a policeman at Yankee Stadium and his brother a fire boat captain. After 9/11 I witnessed a city in the midst of destruction and we watched the people from New York rise from the ashes. They became a symbol of courage and determination to the world.

Okay, now to the issue. This week our little tradition grew to a degree none of us expected. It has been on the national news. It has gotten groans from New England, cheers from New York, and laughter around the country.

Unfortunately, someone or more than one person from our community decided to use the controversy as a way to damage the car of a very kind, gentle and, by the way, strong Red Sox fan, as a way to “get back.” Sorry, your actions are far more damaging and demeaning than anything we do with a fire hydrant. Those involved have no idea how to benefit from the words, “play ball, play football, and simply, play.”

Our actions tell a lot about the character of Endicott students. On Monday, can we find some joy and pleasure in knowing that some 20% of our student body have a reason to celebrate and 80% of our students have the opportunity to say, “Wait until next year!” Let the rivalry begin again.

I am glad that this fire hydrant has energized your passion and your loyalty. Can this same passion be directed to our bigger problems: energy, hunger, and crime, or will complacency return when the event is over?

I will always stand with and for our students. I am proud of Boston. Endicott and I take pride in each of you. In return I ask that we, as a community, enjoy when others succeed. Please set aside anger and envy, and say, “Maybe it will be our turn next year!

Sincerely

Dr. Wylie



Oh, Dr. Wylie, you had me at "we have a right to celebrate their victory."  Just an absolute masterpiece.  Where do I start?  The guy makes reference to the Yankees winning the World Series twice, plays both the 9/11 and "Solving the World's Crises" cards to perfection, calls out some group of vandals who trashed a car, and from start to finish carries himself with the dignity and well-spoken grace that only a Yankee fan could. 

If this fire hydrant painting/school president combo doesn't perfectly portray "Red Sox Nation" as the biggest, most fraudulent, media-created shit pile in the history of sports, then I don't know what does.  Do you honestly think that if a group of Red Sox students tried pulling a stunt like this at NYU that they would have gotten away with it?  The Yankee fan majority would have painted over the fire hydrant before the red in the Red Sox logo was even dry, and the beaten the shit out of the perpetrators to send a message.  Christ, even pussy Mets fans probably would have had something to say about an outside enemy team's logo being displayed on their turf.  But what do the Red Sox fans at Endicott do?  Nothing.  Not a fucking thing.

And therein lies the difference between Yankee fans and Red Sox fans.  Yankee fans are proactive and find creative ways to express their celebration of their team's success, and when the team is down they are still out proudly portraying their colors.  Red Sox fans throw on their green hats and pink girl jerseys when their team is doing well and run around telling you how awesome Josh Beckett is, but then scurry back inside their homes when the times get tough, resorting to tired, unintelligent bitches and moans about how "A-Rawd is a fackin cheatah," or "Jeetah is a fackin queeah!"  All these supposed Red Sox fans on campus at Endicott should just take their Boston gear and fucking burn it because if you're going to let something like that happen and just stand by and watch, then you aren't a true fan.

I know the guy was just doing his Presidential duty, but Dr. Wylie ended up providing just one more in the long list of examples of how the Yankees and their fans are great and real while the Red Sox and their fans are a bunch of weak, media-hyped fugazis.  Bravo, good sir. Bravo indeed.