Best Promotion Ever? Best Promotion Ever

I don't know much, people, but I do know this.  I have never been more upset about missing a Yankee game since I moved away from the East Coast than I am about missing tonight's game.  The New York Yankees are reinventing the stadium promotional giveaway game as we know it.

BOOM!!!  "Hand Sanitizer Keychain Day."  Are you kidding me???  Why not just give fans the keys to the locker room??  How about "Who Wants to Bat Cleanup?" Day or "Be The Bullpen Coach for the Game" Day??  I mean, look at this thing.  It's incredible!!!

 

As it is, your ticket to the game gets you first-person access to watching the historic New York Yankees play baseball.  Now you're telling me I could also be protected against all kinds of viruses and diseases that I may get from high-fiving the strangers around my in the stands AT NO EXTRA COST?!?!  That's highway robbery!

If you're reading this and planning on going to the game tonight, grab your car keys and your Yankee hat as soon as you're done and get your ass to The Stadium to make sure you're one of the first 18,000 fans in attendance in order to take advantage of this sweet deal.  Actually, scratch that.  Don't even finish reading this.  Just get to The Stadium NOW because this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that you don't want to miss.

/so fucking jealous

P.S.- Grossly overpriced tickets that lead to a half-empty stadium every time I watch on TV and $9 dollar beers when you get inside, and the best the Yanks can do is free hand sanitizer?