Monday, October 24, 2011

This Is Not How You Make Fun Of The Fraud Sawx

To quote Paul Mooney from the episode of "Chappelle's Show" where he's reviewing Tom Cruise in "The Last Samurai," I was offended by this.  I really was.

First off, lose the tie, my man.  You've got it tied in a big, ridiculous, Merril Hoge knot and you look like a dope.  And loosen up a little.  You look scared to death reading off those cue cards or whatever you have in front of you that has all your jokes.

Second of all, who are you supposed to be in this video?  Why are you in charge of a Fraud Sawx audition casting call?  Set the scene, man!  Give me some background so I know where you're coming from and know why this is supposed to be funny!  Are you supposed to be Lucchino?  Henry?  You have to be somebody pretty high up in the organization to be asking for resumes for catcher.  What the hell??

Third, and this was the biggest mistake of all, you didn't anybody out by name.  Don't just say they're looking for a new GM.  Say they need a new GM because Theo Epstein decided to skip town to the Cubbies because he didn't want to help clean up the mess he made.  Don't say they need a new starting pitcher, say they need somebody who isn't going to put up the worst numbers in team history like John Lackey or somebody who isn't going to choke in crunch time like Josh Beckett and Jon Lester.  Don't just poke fun at them.  Twist the fucking knife, man!

Lastly, make sure somebody proofreads your graphics before you decide to throw something up on YouTube.  There's no apostrophe in "playoffs."  Tighten that shit up, bro.

P.S.- I'm pretty sure people in professional baseball don't have to send their resumes to other teams.

(via Deadspin)

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