Friday, September 25, 2009

Free-Flowing Yanks-Sox Game 1 Commentary- 9/25/09

- Jason Varitek has thrown out 9 of 110 attempted steals this season.  9 out of 110.  I repeat, 9 OUT OF 110.  What the fuck is he still doing starting a game at catcher in the Majors?  No doubt Joe knew that stat when he decided to send Jeter on the 2nd pitch of the game.

-Another good stat: The Yankees are 3rd in Major League Baseball with a 79.8% stolen base success rate and are 2-for-2 tonight and it's still the 1st inning.  Sure they can smash you to death, but this is the most complete offensive team since 1998; they don't mind beating you with small ball if that's what it takes.

-2 innings, 4 succesful stolen base attempts for the Yankees and none have even been close.  Granted Varitek hasn't had a great pitch to throw on yet, but at this point in his career, does that really matter?  It's like watching a 12-year-old softball girl throw back there.  I wonder if the Angels are watching this?

-Lester's injury did not look good at all for him, but looked amazing to me.  I was half-aroused watching him writhe around on the ground.  If there was one person on their team that the Red Sox didn't want to see get seriously injured, it was undoubtedly Lester.  That horrible sound everybody is hearing right now is Tim Kurkjian and Peter Gammons sobbing in each other's arms on the Baseball Tonight set.

-I wouldn't have guessed that tonight was the first time in his career that Joba retired the first 9 batters he faced in order, but at the same time I'm not surprised by it.  What does that say about his future as a potential Number 1 or Number 2 starter?

-Final line on Lester: 2.1 IP, 8 Hits, 3 BBs, 5 ER, 3 K, 78 Pitches (47 Strikes), and 1 kick save.  BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  If you think that's the last time I'm going to joke about that injury, then you should read a new blog.

-Ahh, Michael Bowden, he of the 2-inning, 8 hit, 3 walk, 7 earned run butt raping at the hands of New York on August 21.  Why doesn't Francona just wave the white flag right now?  He's trying his damndest, but he's going to have to use some of his bullpen regulars in this game whether he likes it or not.

-Now THAT'S the Joba we've been waiting to see!!!  2nd and 3rd, no outs in the 5th, and he sits down the next 3 batters in order.  He's pitching with that swagger and intensity that he used to pitch the 8th inning.  I don't know if he's stepping up for a spot in the postseason rotation like Girardi said or getting himself prepped to be a bullpen monster again, but he looks fucking fantastic tonight.

-Now THAT's the Joba we're used to seeing.  2 outs, ahead in the count, and he grooves a fastball for an obviously juicing-again David Ortiz.  That's been his undoing over his recent stretch of ineffectiveness; getting ahead of guys and making horseshit pitches that batters have made him pay for and that pitch was no different.  Still a good outing for him tonight, but the way it ended can't make Joe or Yankee fans totally comfortable.

-A-Rod is stinging everything tonight.  Looks like Joe knew what he was doing with that day off for everybody on Wednesday after all.  If he can stay this locked in for the whole series, the division title could be the Yankees' by late Sunday afternoon.

-If you used to read my "Shallow Thoughts" on Facebook, then you remember what I wrote about Jason Varitek on August 9:

"If the Red Sox were a car cruising along a county road, Jason Varitek would be the random blinking red light in the middle of nowhere; the guy just absolutely rapes any chance to have a big inning and has been doing this since 2007."

No time was that proven more true than tonight.  He pops up on the first pitch with runners on 2nd and 3rd and no outs in the 5th and grounds into a double play after J.D. Drew gets on to lead off the 7th.  Actually, now that I read that metaphor, it might be taking it too easy on Varitek.  The guy is absolutely, positively, fucking awful.  I could dedicate an entire separate blog to just how bad a baseball player he is.  If ESPN didn't permanently have the Red Sox's cock stuffed up their ass they would find a way for John Hollinger to calculate a new statistic to prove just how useless Jason Varitek is because VORP simply does not do his ineptitude justice.

-P.S.- It's now the bottom of the 7th inning and he's a perfect 0-6 in throwing out Yankee basestealers.  You gotta love the "intangibles" that he brings to the game, huh?

-Stat of the Night: The top 3 American League batters in HRs hit from the 7th inning on:

1) Mark Teixeira- 15
2) Alex Rodriguez- 13
3) Hideki Matsui- 13

That's how you accumulate 48 comeback wins.

-There's just something great about watching Dustin Pedroia strike out.  It sends a little tingly feeling from the top of my head all the way down to the underside of my balls.  Truly awesome.

-I love what Joe is doing here by throwing his regular bullpen guys instead of the Triple-A "cup of coffee" boys.  Get guys like Marte used to their roles for the postseason now and still keep them fresh for the next game, great move.  I hope Big Floppi and Bay enjoyed facing Marte and Hughes, because they're going to get a lot of that if these 2 teams meet up in the ALCS.

-I was a little wary going in tonight, but I have to say I have thoroughly enjoyed Chip Caray and Buck Martinez calling tonight's game on TBS.  They have been almost completely objective and spent equal time praising each team and criticizing them for the appropriate reasons while focusing on the trends of the game at hand.  They also brought a ton of great stats to the table (see Varitek and Yankee HRs) that ESPN wouldn't dare mention because they portray Boston in a negative light.

There were some bumps in the road (conveniently skipping over the fact that he has sucked for the better part of a month when discussing Josh Beckett; neglecting to mention or even suggest that lower steroid use in today's game could contribute to an increase in running and stolen bases in baseball this year), but overall a good job.  I would take these guys over anybody at ESPN and especially Buck and McCarver 25 hours a day, 8 days a week.

-And that's all she wrote, folks.  If you're Joe Girardi or a Yankee fan, you have to be happy with how tonight went.  Joba finally put a good performance together and the bats came alive.  Even before he left the game, the Yanks were knocking Jon Lester, a noted Yankee killer, around like he was Rhianna.  To cap it off with Cano flashing some And-1 baseball skills was basically the Yankees wiping their sacks across Boston's faces.  The best comparison for this game would be saying it was like hitting a line drive right off someone's knee (ask Lester how that feels), BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

The Sox can keep their cheap Wild Card champagne on ice for now while the Bombers move one step closer to setting the universe back in order.  Start spreading the news, bitches...

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