Is Pettitte Back on HGH?

I mean, not that I care; the dude can pump whatever he wants into his ass if it's going to help him win...(ummm wait, that sounds wrong).  Shit, it's common knowledge now that the Red Sox used steroids just as much as bad hair and Jack Daniel's to win their 2 titles, so why is it wrong for the Yankees to level the playing field a little?  Everybody just assumes they use after the Mitchell Report and Pettitte's already proven that he's the master of steroid apologies, so what the hell, right?

The bottom line is that Andy Pettitte has been arguably the best pitcher on the staff over the last 2 months.  Check out the numbers over his last 9 starts:

7-2 record, with 6 consecutive wins
59.2 IP
43 hits and 15 walks for a 1.005 WHIP
17 ER for a 2.56 ERA
62K for an average of 9.35 K/9 innings

That last number is particularly important because it shows Pettitte isn't just squeaking by with mediocre stuff.  His fastball has zip, his cutter has bite, and his curveball is diving off the table like Barry Zito's.  The dude is unstoppable tonight.  If it wasn't for Jerry Hairston doing his best A-Rod impression and choking at 3rd, we might be talking about the 3rd Yankee perfect game in the past 11 years because before that Pettitte was flat out cruising.

Pettitte is now 12-6 on the season and making Cash look like a genius for haggling him down to a $5.5 million dollar salary this offseason.  Theo Epstein should take notes because this is how you spend $5 mil, not on washed up has-beens and fat flash-in-the-pans from the JV League.

Leave it to a bunch of amateur-hour clowns like the Red Sox to not even show up and play a game tonight.  Come on, guys, at least try and compete.  And don't give me that "day off" bullshit; the magic number is down to 26.  You have to at least play the game to try win the division.

Hank and Hal might as well tell George that the Yankees won the division tonight because it's going to take until the end of the season for him to comprehend that anyway.

Everyone say it with me now:  Y-A-N-K-E-E-S!!!!  Shout it out loud, motherfuckers!