(Special shout out to the immortal Swanny Duckson for the fantastic PhotoShop work)
Thanks to the Heavens above that Jesus has been invited to Spring Training this year. Only his divine greatness can help alleviate the rancid stench of evil and ineffectiveness that will surely emanate from Kei Igawa.
Early betting odds on Jesus' biggest Spring Training accomplishment:
-Hits a home run so far that it smashes Hank or Hal's windshield in the employee parking lot at Steinbrenner Field- 2:1
-Hits a comebacker up the middle that goes clean through the opposing pitcher's body and kills him- 5:1
-Pulls a Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez and hits the cover off a ball in a game- 10:1
I know I shat the bed in my NFL picks, but I'm taking the 10:1 on the Benny The Jet bet, and you'd be smart to do the same.
While somebody will surely try to make a big deal out of today's story that the Yankees are not going to re-negotiate with Jeter, Mo, or Girardi during what will be the final year of all of their respective contracts this season, it really is a non-issue and actually a smart move on the Yankees' part.
If there are any 2 guys on the team who have nothing to be concerned about when it comes to getting re-upped and getting justly paid, it's Jeter and Mariano. They are the most iconic Yankees since Mickey Mantle and the 2 most important links to the dynasty of the late 90s. There would be such public backlash if the team was to lowball either one of these guys that it would create the kind of unnecessary off-field attention that the team was so bad at creating in the mid-2000s and so good at avoiding last season. Plus, Hank and Hal would risk planting the seed in all the other players' heads that they could be headed for troubling times when their contracts were up; "Shit. If Mo and Jeet can't get a fair deal, what's going to happen when my contact ends?" And it's hard to win championships when everybody is walking on eggshells and checking over their shoulder.
Neither Jeter or Mariano have ever been the type to rock the boat and make demands; they're consummate professionals and are all about the team, and the Yankee brass knows this and so they know they won't cause any waves by not negotiating with these 2 and letting them play the season out. Jeet and Mo have to know then when the time comes, the team isn't going to take a Johnny Damon-style hard line with them and so they'll continue to do what they've done their entire career: keep their mouths shut, focus on winning a title, and deal with their contracts after the season.
What Jeter and Mariano have already accomplished is more than enough to justify what will be exorbitant pay days for them, but when you consider that unlike many of their peers, both have continued to perform at the highest level as they reach their late-30s and early-40s, it makes it all the more justifiable to give them whatever they want money-wise when it does come time to negotiate a new deal after the 2010 season. Neither has shown any signs of decreasing dramatically and neither has been a major injury concern throughout their careers, so there is low risk in giving these guys top-level money.
That being said, the out that not negotiating new deals gives Cash and the swinging dicks is that they won't be married to a big-money deal in the remote chance that something catastrophic does happen to Jeter or Mariano to severely affect their ability to play at an All-Star level or end their careers completely. While it's not something anybody wants to think about, you also don't want to think about having to pay Jeter $25 million a year for 4 or 5 more years after he's blown out his knee and broken his throwing arm in the same season and become a shell of his former self, and not re-upping now eliminates that possibility.
The one issue that could creep up with this approach is what will happen to Girardi if the Yankees struggle this year. Seeing as how the Yankees will go into this season as the odds-on favorite to win the World Series, being a lame-duck coach shouldn't be a problem, but if, by some stroke of black demonic magic, the team plays bad, misses the playoffs, etc. without the presence of crippling injuries, the talk across the NY media outlets will turn to Girardi and whether or not he's coming back and then you've got the 2007 Joe Torre situation all over again.
Girardi has already shown he can handle the NY media and has established great relationships with all his players, but the bottom line in the Bronx is always winning, especially when you're coming off a World Championship and looking to win another. If the unthinkable happens, Girardi's lame-duck status will become a bigger and bigger deal and could overshadow the team itself. But since we've already established that that isn't going to happen and the 2010 World Series trophy is as good as theirs', then there's nothing to worry about. Everybody will go out, do their job, win another title, have another parade, and then be handsomely rewarded.
While the Yanks held their hard line on their $200 million Opening Day budget for 2010, they are still going all out to guarantee themselves a 2010 Triple-A Championship with the signing of Marcus Thames to a $900,000 minor league deal today. Thames, a former Yankee farmhand who had a half a cup of coffee with the team in 2002 before being traded for Ruben Sierra in 2003, hit 13 HRs and drove in 36 runs last year in 258 at-bats with Detroit at a .252/.323/.453 split.
While he's not guaranteed a spot on the team with the minor league contract, the signing of Thames does make the Randy Winn signing all the more puzzling. Thames gives the Yankees what they needed, a righty power bat off the bench who can play the corner outfield if need be, at less than what they're going to pay Winn to be an unnecessary defensive replacement outfielder who can't hit a lick. But if last off-season taught us anything, it's 'never doubt Cash.'
The smart money is on Brian having a plan for Thames, even if it's as simple as keeping him on the Triple-A roster all year as a Shelley Duncan-type who can be used as a call up to fill the 25-man roster when somebody else takes a stint on the DL. But in any case, Marcus' chances of going home for Thanksgiving in 2010 with a World Series bonus and an appointment to get measured for a championship ring just increased ten fold.
After last night's rather bland Super Bowl, boring, un-funny commercials, and ho-hum halftime show, it's about damn time we get back to focusing on baseball. Screw the NBA All-Star game; forget March Madness (since UConn isn't going to make it anyway); let's just move right on to MLB Opening Day.
Seriously, get me some pitchers and catchers reporting right now. I want daily updates on how Jesus Montero looks behind the plate. I want to see Javy Vazquez and Andy Pettitte laughing and joking while they go about their stretching and running drills. I want to see Brett Gardner and Ramiro Pena showing up early to get more batting practice in to prepare for the bigger roles this year. I want to see A.J. Burnett practicing pitching to a metal cut-out of a batter, "Charlie Sheen in Major League"-style to try and cut down on his wild pitches this year.
P.S.- did anybody else notice the similarities between last night's Super Bowl commercials and Johnny Damon? Both are severely overpriced, both had solid make-ups (lotta funny premises for the commercials; Damon still an above-average hitter), and both had major glaring weaknesses (no solid punch lines on the commercials; Damon's weak arm and presence as an injury risk at age 36). And in the end, there doesn't seem to be much buzz about any of the ads the day after just like there hasn't been any buzz for Damon since the 2009 season ended. Just a thought.
Because I'm just too damn lazy and tired today to post anything funny or insightful and I'll probably be too drunk tomorrow to post anything funny or insightful, here's a quick link fix from around the Yankee blog world.
-Lenny Neslin puts together a nice comparison between The Babe and Albert Pujols through the first 9 seasons of their careers. Of course, The Babe comes out on top. Shocker.
-Sam Borden at LoHud takes a look at the challenges facing Girardi in regards to team chemistry this season.
-Matt Imbrogno from TYU, in their continued genius generated from fanatical statistical analysis and using simple logic, examines the Yankees defensive projections for the season. Early returns are looking good in the field.
-And just to keep things light, the boys at It Is High, It Is Far, It Is... caught poke fun at Dustin Pedroia's off-season workout regimen. If you're making fun of the Red Sox, I'm there.
Enjoy the Super Bowl, Yankee fans. I'll be back Monday.
And so it all comes down to this, Peyton and the Colts against Big Drew and the Who Dat Crew for the right to wear ugly t-shirts and hats and call themselves champions. Before we get to the breakdown of the game and the pick, here's a word from Al Pacino:
Thanks, Al. Now to the game.
By now everybody knows enough about Dwight Freeney's injured ankle to write a book about it, but what people don't know is whether or not he's going to play, if he does, how many plays is he going to be, and how effective is he going to be on that broken wheel. Despite what the Colts say, the Saints have to be preparing as if Freeney is going to be on the field; that means having blocking schemes set up to chip him with tight ends, pick him up with RBs, and make sure he is accounted for on every single play. If he doesn't go, then everything becomes a little easier for New Orleans, but they still have to prepare for the worst.
Robert Mathis is a good player, but he's more Pippen to Freeney's Jordan than a Jordan-type himself. Mathis thrives on the attention that other teams pay to Freeney and it isn't going to be as simple as swapping him to Freeney's side of the line if Dwight can't go and letting him have a field day. If Freeney can't go, or is severely limited in playing time and effectiveness by the injury, then the Colts are going to have to get creative to get pressure on Drew Brees. We're talking stunts, bringing LBs and defensive backs on blitzes, and disguising it well enough so that Brees doesn't sniff it out at the line and pick them apart with audibles and hot routes. The Colts LBs and secondary have been praised all year for their team speed and ability to stand up to the opponents' skill position players but we're not talking Derrick Mason, Mark Clayton, and Jerricho Cotchery here. We're talking wave after wave of Marques Colston, Devery Henderson, Robert Meachem, Lance Moore, Jeremy Shockey, and Reggie Bush coming at you from all angles and spreading and stretching the field, trying to exploit the weak spot in the coverage. This game will be the truest test of just how good Indy's secondary is or isn't.
On the other side of the ball, New Orleans has made no secret about its gameplan: hit Peyton Manning at all costs. That strategy worked pretty well against Minnesota, as the beating he took over 4 quarters almost certainly had something to do with Brett Favre's bonehead decision at the end of the game. But don't forget that before that ill-fated throw across the middle, Favre had spent the better part of the game carving up the Saints secondary, something that Manning, more than anybody else in football, can do with ease. If Jabari Greer and Tracy Porter can't cover Bernard Berrian, I can't imagine them shutting down Reggie Wayne one-on-one, and if the Saints commit 2 guys to Wayne, then this game could turn into another episode of "The Pierre Garcon Show."
One thing to look for by the Colts could be an early commitment to the running game. Knowing what the Saints are going to look to do, the Colts could flip the script and keep the ball on the ground more with delays and draws to try to use the Saints' aggression against them. Sure they were the worst rushing team statistically in the league this year, but in Joe Addai and Donald Brown, the Colts have 2 guys who can get the job done. With the Saints going balls to the wall for Manning, an early dose of draws and short screen passes could be just what the doctor ordered to negate the New Orleans pass rush and force them to respect the running game, which will make life that much easier for Manning once they do decide to start chucking the pill.
An X-factor for the Colts is going to be Antoine Bethea. Bethea is going to have a plethora of responsibilities: stepping up to stuff the run against Pierre Thomas, covering Dallas Clark in spread formations, shadowing Bush out of the backfield, and providing help over the top to the Saints corners. The more positive plays he is involved in, be it through tackles, tipped or broken up passes, blitzes, and forced turnovers, the less time New Orleans is going to spend on the field and the better of the Colts are going to be.
For the Saints, the X-factor, as usual, is going to be Reggie Bush. I thought this was going to be Bush's breakout season but it turned out to be just another up-and-down year that looks more representative of what his career will turn out to be. For every big game Bush has, he has 2 after it in which he is virtually non-existent and for the Saints to win this game, he can't be non-existent. There are going to be a handful of opportunities during the game to get him the ball in space and he needs to take advantage of those opportunities. Bush can't be dropping easy passes or getting taken down by the shoelaces in the open field. If he can break a few big plays, he can force the Colts to devote more attention to him and open up the field for the Saints receivers. But if he shrivels under the spotlight and becomes a non-factor, then the Colts can drop more men into coverage and try to blanket New Orleans' air attack.
While each teams' defense has been the focal point in the weeks leading up the big game, I don't expect either to be overly influential of the game's outcome. Both teams are going to put up points but in the end the Colts will put up more. They are better equipped to handle what New Orleans is going to throw at them with their veteran o-line, good blocking backs, smart receivers, and the best QB in the game, than New Orleans is. The Saints receivers have had the tendency in the past to get cases of the dropsies and I foresee a couple big ones in this game that kill drives for them. The game will be closer than some think, but the Colts will do enough to cover and win.
Alex Rodriguez is playing the field like a man possessed in the aftermath of his split with Kate Hudson, and has been on dates with a cavalcade of women in the past two weeks -- including a meeting in Manhattan with old flame Madonna.
On Saturday, he was spotted at lunch with one beauty in South Beach and then took another girl out for dinner at restaurant STK that night.
"He has been seeing a petite brunette from New York," the source said. "While he was in the city, he had a private meeting with Madonna at his home. They have stayed in touch and text each other all the time.
"He has also been hanging around with the girls from Wilhelmina Models in Miami. He picked out a curvy blonde from their books and took her to the Bahamas for a charity event two weeks ago. And he was pretty pleased with himself to be dating two girls in one day last Saturday." (story courtesy of Page Six)
The A-Horse strikes again!! First Madonna, then Kate Hudson, now a whole gaggle of bitches at the same time. Well, I can't say I approve of he and Madonna, because let's face it, she's old and she might be a dude, but this latest report of The Horse's off-field conquests should be music to Yankee fans' ears.
For one, it shows that his hip has to be fully recovered and showing no ill effects of extra wear and tear from last season. I mean, if A-Rod is banging this many chicks on a regular basis, that's a lot of stress being put on the hip, and if the hip is holding up to that stress then it's a foregone conclusion that he's already in mid-season form. For all we know, this is part of his new off-season strength and conditioning program and if the hip is holding up to this kind of rigorous workout regimen, that I think he's going to be just fine once the regular season starts.
Secondly, this shows that Alex is still in "I'm going to do what I want to do and not give a fuck what the media says or thinks" mode and last year wasn’t just a flash in the pan. This is the new and improved A-Rod and he's going to bang who he wants when he wants. Then he's going to show up at the Stadium and go 3-5 with 4 RBIs and not say shit to Kim Jones about it.
And why shouldn't he be pleased with himself for dating 2 chicks in one day? Most guys can barely pull off dating one chick at a time, and most guys like me who blog like this are lucky to even sniff one chick, let alone date her. Keep up the good work, Alex. This kind of pre-season training is what MVP seasons are made of.
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