I'm sure by now everyone is asking themselves "how the hell is Brad going to continue to churn out incredible, hilarious, insightful posts every day now that the Yankees have locked up their 27th title and there's no more baseball until next spring?" My answer to you, baby birds, is don't worry, because I've got this shit all figured out and I'll continue to chew up your humor and analysis and puke it down your throats until opening night 2010 at Fenway with a little help from the UConn Huskies.
That's right, the fucking UConn Huskies. I know people might have been thinking 'Yankee blog= obvious New York college coverage' but you would deader than dead wrong. If you came here expecting a daily dose of Canisius or Rider commentary then you can just gargle a ball because it ain't gonna happen. And if you came here looking for some witty observations of Syracuse's season then you can gargle and rinse with my whole nutsack because that sure as shit ain't gonna happen. I mean, even if I did root for Syracuse, why would I waste valuable blog space and time writing about a team that lost to Le Moyne? FUCKING LE MOYNE!!!!! That's where kids who weren't quite good enough to make the Syracuse lacrosse team go to school, not basketball players.
So UConn it is, and let's just get it all out there now and let it be known that it will only be the men's team getting covered because let's face it, chicks' sports aren't real sports and the UConn women are just going to win anyway so there's no point. There will still be plenty of Yankee goodness to keep you pinstripers happy, but the Huskies will be filling the void left by the Bombers and their offseason starting this Friday against William & Mary (whoever the fuck that is), and ending after March Madness.
And if you can't handle that, I just don't give a fuck. Watch ESPN all winter and listen to them blow Duke and North Carolina and talk about the Red Sox hot stove news for all I care. Now somebody hit the fucking music!
The Great Brett Gardner Poetry Slam
1 hour ago