Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Hitting Doctor Is Making House Calls

"He spent last week in Los Angeles working with outfielders Nick Swisher and Colin Curtis. Next week, he'll be in New York to work with first baseman Mark Teixeira.

He also plans on going to Miami to work with Alex Rodriguez and Jorge Posada before spring training starts." (courtesy of The Post)

Dr. Long is back!!  And he's getting an early start on the hitting rehab trail for 2011.  Dude has already seen Swishy and Colin Curtis, he's got plans to get to Tampa in a few weeks to work out Jeter's shit, and he's going to make time for Tex, The Horse, and Hip Hip in the next couple weeks.  On the one hand, I kinda feel bad for Long's family.  This guy eats, sleeps, breathes, and craps hitting.  He's a maniac!!  On the other hand, as a Yankee fan I love him for it and I would probably do anything he asked me to do if I ran into him at a bar short of sexual stuff (most sexual stuff, wink wink).

Seriously, now that the college football season is over, is there any way the Yankees can rent the big "College Gameday" bus and have Long travel all over the country in that thing to all these one-on-one hitting clinics he's having?  Shit, get a YES camera crew involved and you're looking at the next great YES reality show!  Fuck "Yankees On Deck" and "Centerstage," I would watch "WB Mason Presents: Kevin Long's Hit Parade" 25 hours a day, 8 days a goddamn week.  You could even have him stop at random indoor batting cages and Little League practices along the way to give free lessons/diagnosis to the kids there.

The best part about this story?  It makes for a perfect Photoshop opportunity.  POW!!

(Swanny Duckson comes through again!!)

Now The King Can Take His Throne

This slipped through the cracks yesterday, but adios, Trevor Hoffman, and congrats on a long and successful career.  And good riddance to you and your lame changeup, you Mariano Rivera wannabe.  Shit wasn't so unhittable once you lost the juice on the fastball, huh?

Your lameass saves record can finally come to a stop so Mo can plow through it and finish where he rightfully should, at the top of the all-time list.  So enjoy that 601 while it's still relevant, buddy.  This time next year, we'll either be talking about Mo bypassing it early in 2012 or discussing just how many saves Mo will finish with if he gets enough opportunities to rack up 42+ saves in 2011.  You just can't fuck with the G.O.A.T.