A customer sent me an email the other day asking me to update something "as quick as humanly possible." I don't know why it's never bothered me before, but as soon as I read that I was immediately pissed. Humanly possible? Humanly?? As if there was any other type of creature whose speed I could or was planning on mimicking to complete the task he asked me to do? Like an ostrich. Or an iguana. I could get it done as fast as iguanaly possible. Does this guy think that I'm not a human but rather a really intelligent farm animal? Or maybe he thinks I'm a robot or a cyborg or something.
The cyborg thing would be pretty cool, but I still found the comment insulting. The phrase "humanly possible" is so far beyond unnecessary to use when 2 human beings are communicating with each other. It's already implied that the absolute fastest we can do things is as fast as a human could possibly do them. There's no need to throw the "humanly" in there as an added measure of importance. A lot of people get fired up about "ASAP," but that doesn't bother me in the least. "Humanly possible," however, rubbed me the wrong way; chapped my ass something fierce.
Naturally I let that request sit and rot in my email inbox, where it resided up until sometime mid-morning on Thursday. Guess I'm just not that fast of a human. Happy holidays, jerk. Now onto the links!
- On Monday, EJ Fagan of TYA discussed a cool new statistic from FanGraphs and how it is used to support Derek Jeter's career consistency. It could also throw some shade on the "Jeter is overrated" people.
- SJK of NoMaas got the inside scope on the Yankees' execution of their offseason plan straight from the executive boardroom.
- On Tuesday, Matt Keegan of Pinstriped Bible wrote a real interesting post that created a connection between A.J. Pierzynski and the Yankees that I didn't realize was there and also discussed the importance of personality and likability when deciding to pursue or avoid a free agent.
- On Wednesday, Mike Axisa of RAB profiled 2012 draft pick Taylor Dugas, who had one of the better starts to his professional career from this year's draft class.
- Chad Jennings of LoHud looked at what was left on the Top 50 free agents list and whether there were some good fits for the Yankees.
- Delia E. of Yankees Fans Unite put latest Yankee rumored connection Michael Bourn up against possible 2013 starting CF Brett Gardner to see if Bourn was worth the money.
- On Thursday, Steve Lombardi of Was Watching looked back through Yankee catcher history to find guys who played full time at age 24 or younger and didn't find much. Not a good omen for Austin Romine.
- Brien Jackson of IIATMS pointed out that the team's new look in 2013 as a result of their offseason strategy should result in the end of the "too many homers" meme. So at least we've got that.
- Robert Casey of Bleeding Yankee Blue made another plea for Chris Dickerson to get a chance to earn a roster spot next season. Everybody knows I love C-Dick, but even I think his days are numbered now that the roster is full of lefty outfielders.
For this week's Friday Jam it's only appropriate to play something seasonal, what with Christmas right around the corner next week. And that's why I'm going with the old AB4AR Christmas standby, "Merry F*cking Christmas" by Mr. Garrison. I laugh at this song every year, and if you have a sense of humor you will too.
Enjoy your weekends, everybody.
He returns quietly in the night
33 minutes ago