Because nobody in the MSM can think of anything worthwhile to ask or write about now that the Winter Meetings are over, Alex Rodriguez was stuck answering questions about his rumored centaur paintings of himself in house. After years of speculation, and quite frankly hope on my part that it was true, A-Rod finally shed some light on the subject.
“No, I do not have a painting of my upper body on a Minotaur. I don’t know where they get that stuff.”
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I can't believe that it's not true! What a crushing blow to my ego, my hopes and dreams of what the world could be, and the very foundation that this blog was built upon. I mean come on, Al! I've been down with the A-Taur since the word go. Do you think I would have gone through all the trouble of making multiple Photoshops, rattling off hundreds of A-Horse jokes, and always trying to remember to refer to your feet as hooves if I thought you didn't actually have these paintings?? What kind of an idiot do you think I am??? Wait, don't answer that.
Needless to say, this day is already off to a horrible start. I could slip a joke in here about how the hip injury and required surgery is even more severe when you're dealing with a 4-legged centaur, but it just wouldn't be the same now knowing what I know. I don't normally drink at the office, but I might have to find something to put in my coffee to get me through the morning.
P.S.- Yes, I wrote this post assuming that A-Rod is actually too dumb to know the difference between a centaur and a minotaur. There's no way he's that slick.