(No, Joe isn't doing the Carlton Dance there. And no, the ump doesn't look amused.)
There is all kinds of sizzle to tonight's Game 2 of the latest 3-round Yanks-Sawx regular season brawl, about as much as you can have for a regular season game in a sport that plays 162 regular season games. There's the potential fallout from last night's beanball wars, potential gas to add to that fire in the form of noted Yankee HBP specialist and all-around dickhead Josh Beckett being the starter for the Fraud Sawx, Phil Hughes countering Beckett for the Yanks and needing to balance handling retaliation if Beckett decides to get silly and rebounding from his horrendous last start to keep himself in rotation contention, and last night's fire starter Frankie Cervelli catching and batting 9th for the Yankees again because of Russell Martin's bumps and bruises. And to top it all of, the division lead is on the line again.
Yeah, I'd putting money down on the benches emptying again tonight if I were you. And for the first time since Opening Day, I'll be here to live blog the shit out of the evening's events. Aaaaand since it isn't a day game and I don't have anywhere to be or anything to do after, I have the added bonus of being able to invite my good friend Mr. 12-Pack of Beer to the party. That means you, dear readers, get the added bonus of increased profanity, tasteless jokes, and additional potshots at ESPN sprinkled in with my usual game analysis as the game goes on and the beer count dwindles. This night has good times written all over it.
Here's the lineup for the Yankees tonight, via LoHud. The Horse will join Martin on the bench again tonight because of his thumb injury. It's almost getting to the point where the thumb issue is becoming post-worthy.
1) Brett Gardner- LF
2) Derek Jeter- SS
3) Curtis Granderson- CF
4) Mark Teixeira- 1B
5) Robinson Cano- 2B
6) Nick Swisher- RF
7) Eric Chavez- DH
8) Eduardo Nunez- 3B
9) Francisco Cervelli- C
I'm not posting the Fraud Sawx lineup because they're a bunch of assholes and I hate them. Check back some time before 7 PM EST/6 PM Central when we kick this baby off.
5:47PM- I saw the banner photo this morning on TYA's recap of last night's game, and I have to say that it's one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. It's been almost half a day now and I still crack up when I look at it. Catching Girardi mid-swing, the maniacal look on his face, and the complete deadpan look on the umpire. It's photographic gold. I couldn't find where the picture originally came from to give the proper credit, but that thing deserves a Pulitzer (I think they give Pulitzers for photography, right?)
5:57PM- First beer cracked. SportsCenter showing their latest version of the "Top 10 Yankee-Red Sox Moments" of all time. I'm sorry, but there's no way the Aaron Boone ALCS HR should be #5. It was in extra innings, after a dramatic comeback against Pedro in his heyday, and it won the ALCS. That's top 3 at least.
6:00PM- I can't believe I'm upset over an ESPN Top 10 list.
6:01PM- Dave O'Brien and Nomahhhhhhhh have the call tonight for ESPN. Meh. I don't really care about O'Brien one way or another, but Nomar should be good for at least 4-5 nonsensical statements tonight, maybe more since his mind is probably still in Little League mode.
6:04PM- Fraud Sawx still insisting that Cervelli wasn't hit on purpose last night. Yeah. And Grizzly Adams had a beard.
6:05PM- GAH!!!! The fucking MLB commercial with David Ortiz in NYC again. What an asshole. And what's up with the repeated use of "meng" while he's talking? Does he think he's Tony Montana or something?
6:07PM- Curt Schilling is the 3rd man in the ESPN booth tonight. I repeat, Curt Schilling is the 3rd man in the ESPN booth tonight. The d-bag quotient just increased fifty-fold and I now wish I had purchased more beer. Something tells me 12 won't be enough to counter Schilling's assclownery.
6:12PM- Gardner leading it off for the Yankees. I didn't realize he was slumping as badly as he is right now. 5 for his last 49? Yeesh.
6:14PM- And he comes back from 0-2 to line a leadoff single to right on a poorly-located 2-2 fastball by Beckett. Slump busting, perhaps?
6:15PM- And like clockwork, the Yankees sacrifice an out with their 2nd best hitter recently to move Gardner over. I should have seen that coming.
6:17PM- Did Nomar really just ask what MVP they were talking about as O'Brien and Schilling discussed C-Grand and Ellsbury as leading candidates? What MVP did he think they were talking about? The wrestler??
6:22PM- Beckett Ks Curtis and Teck-SHARE-uh to end the inning. Thank God the Yankees sacrificed that out with Jeter's bunt and lost a chance to work Beckett's pitch count up. It really worked out well.
/sarcasm
6:26PM- Hughes blows away Ellsbury with 5 straight fastballs to start off. ESPN had him sitting 93-94 MPH and 95 on strike 3. Let's see how long he can keep that up.
6:27PM- Good job by the ESPN cameras catching Beckett waving his glove at Gardner and telling him "fuck you" after striking out Teix, presumably because he thought Gardner was giving signals to Teix. The temperature is already starting to rise a little. 1-out single fah Pedroyahhh.
6:35PM- Hughes works around the base hit and Ks Big Sloppi to end the first. The velocity was definitely there on the heater, but his mechanics and fastball command were a little inconsistent once Pedroia got on and he had to pitch from the stretch. 0-0 after 1, and with a 24-minute 1st inning we're on pace to only come in at 3:36 for the game.
6:41PM- Swish is OPSing .981 since May 31. That's pretty good. I don't know whether to be impressed by that or bummed to think about what his season line could look like right now if he hadn't sucked a dick in April and May.
6:43PM- Eric Chavez gives one a ride into the triangle, but it's another 1-2-3 for Beckett in the top of the 2nd.
6:45PM- Anybody else tired of these new Domino's commercials? We get it. Your pizza doesn't suck as much as it used to. And you were the last major chain to embrace online ordering, congratulations.
6:46PM- I can understand Francona wanting to load the lineup with lefty hitters tonight to give Hughes problems, but is he kidding batting Jed Lowrie 5th? The guy has a .703 OPS and a .303 wOBA. Why even bother going lefty heavy if you're going to stick one of your weakest hitters in a run-producing spot behind Ortiz?
6:50PM- Hughes sandwiches a Carl Crawford double between 3 outs and works easily through the 2nd. Fastball was still sitting mid-90s and he blew 2 in a row by Jason Varitek's rotting corpse to end the inning. Cervelli due up in the top of the 3rd...
6:53PM- Years from now, are we going to be referring to the Cervelli-Lackey situation last night as "The Clap?" Because that would be hilarious.
6:55PM- Nunez with a hustle 2-bagger into the left-center gap and the Yanks have the leadoff runner on. That happening prevented me from calling Nomar an idiot for saying that every Yankee in the lineup can steal a base. Sure, Nomar. See how often Chavez and Posada get the green light to run.
6:58PM- No fireworks between Beckett and Cervelli, even though it was clearly on Cervelli's mind as he ducked away from the first 2 pitches of the at-bat. In the end Cervelli moved Nunez to 3rd with a groundout and now Gardner can continue to break out of his slump by driving in a run.
7:00PM- Or he could strike out on 3 pitches. Either or is fine.
7:01PM- The Captain bloops a first-pitch fastball into center and Ellsbury can't hang on. 1-0 Yankees. He didn't make a catch that, quite honestly, should have been made, but Ellsbury looked DAMN athletic doing it!
7:04PM- Beckett maybe a bit rattled after Ellsbury couldn't make the play. He allowed Jeter to steal 2nd easily and just walked C-Grand. Granted it was a full count, but the 3-2 pitch wasn't even close.
7:07PM- Teix grounds out to 2nd and that'll do it for the top of the 3rd. But the Yankees are on the board and they made Beckett work that inning. Hopefully the extra rest didn't hinder Phil's fastball command.
7:11PM- Back-to-back hits to start the bottom half for the Frauds. Scutaro with a single and Ellsbury with a first-pitch double. 2 fastballs right down the heart of the plate by Phil. The Sawx are clearly looking for that now, so Hughes needs to adjust and change things up a bit.
7:15PM- Run scores on a Pedroia groundout. I guess I'll take that. Hughes did a good job of changing things up a bit in that at-bat. He started with a curve for a strike, threw a changeup for a strike, and got ahead of Pedroia before retiring him on a defensive swing. That's pretty good work.
7:16PM- After getting Adrian Gonzalez to fly out on the first pitch, now the Yankees elect to intentionally walk Sloppi. I don't like that call, even with Jed Lowrie in the 5-spot. Hughes just worked his way through Pedroia and Gonzo and he's auditioning for a rotation spot. It's the 3rd inning of a tie game. Why not see how he handles Ortiz in this spot?
7:18PM- And Lowrie gives the Sawx the lead with an RBI single to right. It was another shitty fastball down the pipe, but I'm laying the blame for that on Joe. Hughes threw 4 straight balls to Ortiz to break his momentum, then missed with a fastball for Ball 1 to Lowrie. He wanted to throw a strike to get back on track and grooved one. Runners on the corners for Crawford.
7:21PM- And Hughes fans him with a 93 MPH heater. Tough inning for Phil in multiple ways, and it's 2-1 Sawx a third of the way through this thing.
7:28PM- ESPN has Beckett clocked at over 23 seconds between pitches so far tonight. 1) I can't believe ESPN would throw up an anti-Fraud Sawx stat, even a minor one like that. 2) Are umpires ever going to enforce that 12-second rule?
7:34PM- Beckett works around a 4-pitch walk to Chavez to hold the lead in the 4th. The ESPN guys talking about the time between pitches and what could/couldn't be done to address the issue while Beckett was taking as much time as he was between pitches almost put me to sleep.
7:37PM- I had to laugh just now when ESPN included the shot of a disheveled looking, bleach blonde A.J. in their graphic of the Yankees' starting pitching staff. If that fuck throws 1 pitch in the playoffs, I might punch a small child. And there are plenty of them in my apartment complex, so that's not just an empty threat.
7:39PM- Nomar while discussing intangibles- "I still haven't found one [a stat] to measure heart." Jesus fucking Christ, dude, are you serious??? What is this, an episode of "Captain Planet?" And not for nothing, but that fucking Indian kid on that show whose power ring was heart? He was the weakest, lamest character. Heart doesn't mean shit.
7:41PM- Quick 1-2-3 inning for Phil in the 4th and we're still 2-1 Sawx. I don't feel good saying that Phil needed that, but he needed that.
7:44PM- Wait, there's an Italian national baseball team that played in the World Baseball Classic? Why? That's like entering a quadriplegic in an arm wrestling contest.
7:49PM- According to Curt Schilling, who used to play with Kevin Long, K-Long used to be a talented, switch-hitting center fielder who could run like the wind back in the day. Who knew?
7:53PM- Curtis JUUUUUUUUUST missed that 2-2 fastball that was belt high and flies out to right to end the top of the 5th. Double farts!
7:57PM- If I hear one of the 3 guys in the booth say "barrel it up" one more time when referring to a hitter making contact, I'm going to punch ANOTHER small child. Shut the fuck up.
8:01PM- Phil just missed BADLY with a 3-1 changeup to Sloppi. I pooped my pants a little on that one.
8:02PM- And he missed even worse with the 3-2 fastball. He might as well have put it on a fucking tee. 2-run bomb to dead center and what was shaping up to be a quick inning has turned bad for Phil. That's about the 5th or 6th fastball he's put right down the middle tonight. And that ain't gonna get it done against this lineup. 4-1 Sawx after 5.
8:07PM- Teix takes a Beckett curve off the foot to lead off the 6th. Gotta get at least 1 run this inning.
8:08PM- Beckett almost hits Cano on a fastball in and Teix advances to 2nd. Fatigue starting to set in perhaps...
8:10PM- And it's a ribbie double into the gap for Bobinson! The Yankees are officially in business with nobody out in the 6th. Bad 2-strike pitch placement by Beckett and Cano made him pay.
8:14PM- Swish draws a walk and it's starting to come apart for Beckett. His fastball command isn't nearly what it was through the first 5 innings, and his curve is starting to lose some of its break.
8:15PM- FUUUUUUUUUUCK YEEEEEEEEEAH!!!!! Smart hitting by Chavez, who was looking fastball all the way after the walk, and laced a double down the right field line. Cano scored on the hit and Swish scored thanks to a Josh Reddick botch job in the corner and it's a 4-4 game with Chavez on 3rd and STILL nobody out.
8:17PM- And I'll take that from Nunez, who drove an 0-2 pitch deep enough to center to score Eric Chavez. Big job by the offense picking up Phil this inning. He needs to bear down and put up a 0 when he comes out for the bottom half.
8:21PM- Cervelli and Gardner fly out to end the damage, but it was more than enough damage as the Yankees now lead 5-4. Come on, Phil. Time to sack up.
8:23PM- Am I a loser for wanting to meet The Most Interesting Man in The World? I'm not gonna lie, dude looks like a pretty slick cat.
8:26PM- Pedro Gomez talking about Carl Crawford's struggles this season is music to my ears. Crawford pops up for an out after working a 3-0 count to start the at-bat. Money well spent, Theo!
8:29PM- Quintessential Phil Hughes at-bat. Ahead of Reddick 1-2, then miss, miss, miss with the fastball away, throw a shitty curve, and lose the batter on another shitty fastball to the backstop. 2 strikes, you have to at least put it close and make the batter swing.
8:32PM- I don't know what Brett Gardner was thinking on that play, but it sure as shit wasn't cutting the ball off down the line. Kind of a fluke play on a defensive swing by Varitek, but lay the blame at Phil's feet. You walk batters that you get ahead of and you're going to get in trouble. Time to get the bullpen up.
8:34PM- And we finally get our first "Yankees suck" chant of the night. I can't believe it took this long. What's the deal, Bahhston???
8:35PM- And that'll be all for Phil with Ellsbury coming up again. As much as I rag on Joe for how he manages his pitching staff, I totally agree with this move. Phil was on/off all night, and clearly losing his stuff and command in this inning as he approached 100 pitches. An inning after regaining the lead, you don't want to give it right back here in the bottom half. So Boone Logan is the right move to make and he's coming on to face Ellsbury and presumably the rest of the guys after him.
8:40PM- I don't even know what to say. I write a post today about Logan manning up and pitching lights out for the last 3 months and he comes in, picks away, away, away against the lefty he was brought in to get out instead of being aggressive and throwing strikes, and gives up a 2-run jack to Ellsbury on a 3-1 pitch.
/ "You just can't predict baseball, Suzyn."
8:43PM- YES should be scrambling right now to put together some kind of reality show based around A.J. and Phil battling (if that's what you want to call it) for the final rotation spot. Because Phil certainly didn't do anything to earn it tonight.
8:45PM- Gonzo grounds out to Teix and mercifully the inning ends. Yankee pitching has given up multiple runs in the bottom half of both innings in which they've scored tonight. #clutch
8:46PM- MAJOR gamble by Francona here in sending Beckett out for the 7th. He clearly started to lose it in the 6th and just sat for a while in the bottom half. The leash has to be short.
8:50PM- And the gamble pays off, thanks to the Yankees following a script. Jeter groundout, C-Grand K, Teix pop up. I just got real fucking bitter after that showing. That was pathetic, period.
8:57PM- Logan Ks Sloppi, but now Joe is going to go to Ayala with Lowrie and Crawford up next. I don't get it.
9:02PM- Thankfully Crawford smoked a grounder right at Teix to turn 2 after the walk to Lowrie. Inning over.
9:13PM- Back-to-back hotshots to the middle infield that were outs for Cano and Swish followed by a Chavez K and my interest/faith in this game has plummeted to near-zero levels. That bottom 6th/top 7th fuckjob took a lot out of me. In related news, the beer consumption has increased dramatically.
9:16PM- Home run for Varitek after a fluke double down the left field line by Reddick in the bottom of the 8th to make it 9-5 Sawx and that's it for me. I don't do this often, but I'm done tonight. Lots to not like about tonight's game and the 6th-7th inning just assraped my will to blog. I'm going to drink my beer in peace and try not to break anything. We'll deal with this shit tomorrow.
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