You Didn't Think I'd Let This Slide, Did You?

Offseason sounds like it's going swimmingly in Bahhston:

"In the 10 years that I have (been) in Boston, I have been the soul of the organization and there has never been a second where David Ortiz being able to go on the field and do what he does has decided to stay seated."

Big Sloppi just doing the damn thing like always.  Nothing says "soul of the organization" like openly stating that you're the soul of the organization to the press in response to accusations made weeks ago by your FORMER manager and then referring to yourself in the third person.  David Ortiz: teammate, leader, inspiration.  I pretty much gave up on trying to make fun of the Fraud Sawx months ago, but I can't stay away when Sloppi is shooting his mouth off.  It's like that crazy ex-girlfriend you can't stop thinking about.  You complete me, David.  You complete me.

P.S.- Offseason or not, my "throw to injure" order still stands.  Somebody please hit this asshole.

RIP 2012 Fraud Sawx

It's pretty much been a done deal since late last night, but I wasn't going to take any chances gloating until everything was officially official:

"The Dodgers and Red Sox have officially completed a massive nine-player blockbuster trade that sends Josh Beckett, Adrian Gonzalez, Carl Crawford, and Nick Punto to Los Angeles for James Loney and four prospects.

The four prospects are right-hander Allen Webster, infielder Ivan De Jesus, outfielder/first baseman Jerry Sands, and right-hander Rubby De La Rosa."

I expected it to be a disaster with that group and Bobby V in charge of them this season, but even I didn't expect it to take less than 5 months for it to unravel like this.  It's just delicious.  Now that fugazi fanbase can put their pink hats away and turn their attention to the Patriots like they always do.

The Fraud Sawx Have Done It

They've done it.  I'm actually impressed that it happened as early as it did.  I expected the downward spiral to take a lot longer than it has since I first started this blog in August of 2009, but it has officially happened on the afternoon of August 14, 2012.  The Bahhston Fraud Sawx have become so pathetic as a professional sports organization that it's almost not even fair or funny to try to make fun of them anymore.  The story that came out today is so perfect, so deliciously enjoyable if you're a Fraud Sawx hater like I am, that there's no need to comment on it.  You just sit back, read, and then laugh.

Big Sloppi Is A Great Clubhouse Leader

It's been a pretty hectic season for the Fraud Sawx, what with Bobby V joining the fold and being a general jackass, injuries and underperformance keeping the roster in constant turmoil, and the team spending most of their time in the AL East cellar.  Luckily they've got veteran leader David Ortiz to help rally the team together against all of that.

"If you go crazy and give contracts to whoever comes along despite not knowing how they're going to do, then you don't give me my due consideration, even though I do my thing every year, fuck that."

"It was humiliating. There's no reason a guy like me should go through that.  All I was looking for was two years, at the same salary ($12.5 million).  They ended up giving me $3 million more than that (actually $2.025 million), and look at my numbers this year. Tell me if they wouldn't have been better off."

"And yet they don't hesitate to sign other guys. It was embarrassing."

Damn right, David!  It IS crazy to go out and give big contracts to guys without knowing how they're going to do.  Like a guy who had rapidly declining production for 3 straight seasons and then suddenly bounced back in 2010 right around the time he got mentioned in connections with PEDs.  Why would a team go out and sign guys in the primes of their career when they could have taken a bigger risk on an older player?  Fuck that indeed!

And I feel you on the humiliation.  It must have been humiliating as fuck to get a raise and ONLY make $15 million last season.  Just an absolute slap in the face to be one of the top earners in the game despite the fact that you only have to hit and don't even have to play defense.  I don't even understand how you left your house some days.  I would have hid my face in shame if I was disrespected like that.

And it's totally embarrassing that you have to bring up your own petty bullshit AGAIN during a team when your team is trying to climb back into the playoff and division races.  When are all your asshole loser teammates and dickhead upper management going to realize that YOU are more important than THE TEAM and WINNING???  The mid-point of the season is the PERFECT time for them to give you your due consideration.  A-fucking-men, bro!

Bobby V Making Himself Right At Home In Bahhston

(You should probably be sitting here if you're going to mouth off, dude)

All this "consistently covering the Yankees" stuff has got me slipping on one of my true passions in life, that of course being bagging on the Fraud Sawx and their crumbling mess of an organization.  And DAMN, am I missing some good stuff.  We're barely over a week into the season and shit's already starting to play out like a season of "The Real World."  Let's go to the quote book!