Really, dude? The Phillies? The team that refused to make you a deal a year ago for less money and then shipped your ass to fucking Seattle? You'd rather go back to them and their shitty city for fewer dollars than come to the greatest city in the world and play for the greatest team in the history of professional sports? I'd say I can respect that, but then I would be just as big a moron as you because NOBODY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND can respect that and NOBODY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD MAKE THAT DECISION!!!!
So your chubby little wife didn't like the way Yankee fans treated her, huh? Guess she didn't attend too many games the last time you pitched for Philly because those people are absolutely brutal. Word of advice, bro, you might want to make sure you throw a complete game shutout every time you pitch at home because there's no telling what kind of abuse (and objects) that hord of Orcs will be hurling your old lady's way if you fuck up.
You know what, I'm not even mad. Clearly Lee didn't want to pitch in New York or he would have taken the money and ran immediately. I hinted at it in my Russell Martin post over the weekend that the Yanks might be trying to make moves to cover themselves in case Lee didn't sign and now it all makes perfect sense. Nobody in their right mind leaves that much money on the table these days. Nobody. And I don't want to hear all the "well this just goes to show you that not every athlete is about the money" bullshit either. Every athlete is about the money. If they weren't then there wouldn't even need to be winter meetings every offseason in the first place. The only reason you wouldn't be about the money is if you truly didn't want to go somewhere and Lee truly didn't want to come to New York and didn't want to be a Yankee.
So good riddance, dickhead. I'm glad we don't have to worry about watching your sorry ass age ungracefully in the 5th, 6th, and 7th years of your contract. The Yankees have had such a shitty track record signing old pitchers that I'd rather not risk adding another one to that list. The last time they lost out on somebody was Greg Maddux in 1992 and if memory serves correct, the next 6-7 years worked out pretty well for the Yankees then. So if anything, I'll take this as a blessing in disguise.
P.S.- Enjoy watching the rest of that offense crumble over the next couple years as everybody gets older. That should be fun.
P.P.S.- Your wife is fucking hideous