Monday, October 19, 2009

AB4AR's Week 6 NFL Wrap-Up (The "I'm Too Busy at Work So I Had to Make This Quick" Edition)

Week 6 Recap

Houston 28 Cincinnati 17

No big comeback for Cincy this week. More insane fantasy numbers for Matt Schaub. Hey, Steve Slaton is alive!

Green Bay 26 Detroit 0

Daunte Culpepper is officially done as a football player. Drew Stanton showed why he's a 3rd-string quarterback. Packers got exactly what they needed coming off a bye week.

Jacksonville 23 St. Louis 20 (OT)

Maurice Jones-Drew backed up his calling out of the team and coach with 133 yards and 3 TDs, and Mike Sims-Walker managed to not bang any random chicks after team curfew.

Minnesota 33 Baltimore 31

Favre almost got the Aaron Rodgers treatment as the Vikes' D imploded in the 4th quarter. In true Ray Lewis fashion, Ray started dancing maniacally on the field after Hauschka's miss and couldn't be stopped for 5 minutes to be informed that the Ravens had actually lost.

New Orleans 48 NY Giants 27

Here's a recipe for a guaranteed loss: dynamic offense coming off a bye week against an overrated, banged up defense that has grown complacent by beating up on shitty teams for 4 straight weeks.

Pittsburgh 27 Cleveland 14

While the Steelers officially won the game by scoring more points, Browns coaches and team officials awarded themselves 1/2 of a win for scoring 2 TDs and gave all the players gold stars after the game for trying their best.

Carolina 28 Tampa Bay 21

Williams and Stewart combine for 250+ yards rushing and 3 TDs as Carolina discovers a new winning formula: keep the ball out of Jake Delhomme's hands as much as possible.

Kansas City 14 Washington 6

............................ That moment of silence was in remembrance of the Redskins' season. Congrats to Todd Haley for getting his first win as an NFL head coach and his parking spot back at the Chiefs' facility.

Oakland 13 Philadelphia 9

Jamarcus Russell shows flashes of competence and Oakland does just enough to win a game that the Eagles should have dominated. This game tells you everything you need to know about the Eagles' chances of being a serious competitor this year.

Arizona 27 Seattle 3

After their Dr. Jekyll performance last week, the Seahawks turned back into Mr. Hyde as the offense sputtered against one of the worst D's in the league. Arizona manages to keep themselves relevant for one more week.

New England 59 Tennessee 0

He's BAAAAAAAaaaaaaack! Brady and company set 164 NFL records in the 2nd quarter on way to a destruction of the lame duck Titans. Steve McNair showed more life yesterday than the Titans (BAM!!! 3 McNair jokes in a row).

Buffalo 16 NY Jets 13

In 3 weeks the Jets have gone from the belle of the ball to the ugly, lesbian-looking chick at the school dance who nobody wants to go near. Can somebody get Mark Sanchez some hand warmers and a cup of cocoa? I haven't seen a pussy that big since I watched the Pam Anderson-Tommy Lee honeymoon tape.

Atlanta 21 Chicago 14

The Falcons make it official that they are for real and could very well be the best team in the NFC behind the Saints. Ryan wasn't great, Michael Turner did next to nothing, and they still managed to squeak out a win against a game Chicago team. That kind of win is not something you typically see from young teams, or NFC South teams for that matter.

MNF Prediction

San Diego 30 Denver 24

The glass slipper falls off tonight as the Chargers finally solve the Broncos' defense and Antonio Gates has the monster night I need to finally get a win in fantasy.

MNF Predictions for the Season (Winners): 4-2

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